o0o

Chapter 21: Help

"So," Natasha said as they walked through the hallways of Avenger Tower. She'd asked Steve to walk her home—a pretty obvious sign that she wanted to talk to him privately, because it wasn't like wild animals or bandits were lurking behind any corners, and even if there had been, she would have in all likelihood been able to handle them fine on her own. "How's your boyfriend actually alive?"

"Well," Steve answered honestly, "we're not really sure—his memory's pretty spotty."

Natasha's brow furrowed. "Do you mean his memories of that one event, or...?"

Grimacing, Steve's shoulders moved in a quick shrug. "Of everything."

Natasha's frown deepened as she nodded thoughtfully, pursing her lips. "Sometimes lost memories can come back."

"Yeah." A smile, bright with hope, spread across Steve's face. "He's gotten a few back—just little things, I guess, but..." He shrugged again. "It still feels pretty significant."

"Memories are vital to a person's sense of identity." Natasha's smile was a little sad. "So yeah, it is."

Steve frowned. What Natasha was saying made sense. But the only thing Bucky seemed to remember was Steve. That was...potentially a problem.

o0o

When Tony woke up, he felt much better. He'd fallen asleep again—in his bed even—after Thor left, and he felt rested and refreshed. "J," he tried, "what time is it?"

"It is thirteen minutes after ten pm," JARVIS replied.

"Great," Tony said, pushing himself up, grinning. "Perfect time to head to the lab." Because any time he felt like it was a perfect time, so long as he didn't have anything else he was supposed to be doing. And he had so much less he was supposed to be doing since he made Pepper CEO. Best decision of his life, that.

"I don't suppose I can convince you to eat something first?" the AI tried.

Tony shook his head. "Not hungry, J." He'd brush his teeth, though. And throw on a clean shirt.

o0o

"Bucky," Steve said as they were lying, facing one another in the bed that night, "you remember some things...that aren't about me, right?"

Winter nodded slowly. He'd thought maybe Steve would want to have sex, so he hadn't taken his pills yet, but it seemed Steve wanted to talk instead. So it was still good he hadn't taken his pills. "I do." There was one thing, anyway. It wasn't a nice thing. "Is it bad if you're in all my good memories?"

Steve's features tensed, pained. "I...I don't know, Bucky."

Winter grimaced, pressing his lips together. He wanted to be good for Steve. But he didn't know how to make himself remember things. And...given a choice, he'd rather remember Steve. Sure, he'd had parents and a few other friends, but they were all dead—Steve was alive. And maybe he still wouldn't have any good memories that weren't of Steve, even if he somehow got everything back.

"It's all right," Steve amended quickly. "It's not your fault." He pressed his lips together, brow furrowing. "What—what's the memory that isn't about me?"

Winter let out a breath. "I remember them taking my arm," he said quietly. "Cutting—there was blood."

"Oh, God," Steve breathed, looking sick. Reaching out under the blankets, his hand found Winter's flesh one. His voice was rough, strained. "Bucky..."

"It's not new," Winter assured him, stroking his thumb over the back of Steve's hand. His body felt too heavy where it lay in the bed, like it was pressing too deeply into the mattress. "I've always remembered." It wasn't a memory he liked to replay, not like his newer ones, his Steve ones. "Not all the details; it's flashes—the buzz of the saw, the light reflecting off the doctor's glasses." Bile rising in his throat at the thick, red smell in his nostrils. "Bein' dragged through the snow, leavin' a trail of dark red—but that came before." Before they actually took the arm, when it was just mangled and more helpless than the rest of him. He shrugged. "The pain never feels important, but it hurt. I know it hurt."

"I'm sorry—" Steve was squeezing Winter's flesh hand so hard... He was, of course, supposed to tell Steve if he hurt him, but...Steve was distressed from what Winter was telling him, trying to reassure himself that Winter—that Bucky—was really there. Not dead, not bleeding out in a snowbank, no longer strapped down while Zola cut into him. There was 'hurt' meaning 'pain' and 'hurt' meaning 'injure'; Winter wasn't fully sure which Steve had meant, but he was in no danger of being injured.

Guilt twisted in Winter's gut. He knew he was flirting with disobedience. It wouldn't be the first time, and yet it still felt so wrong. Especially when Steve was always so patient and kind with him. But pain could help bond him to Steve—that was still important. All the better if Steve didn't realize he was causing pain.

If Steve were to injure Winter, he'd feel guilty—he shouldn't, but he would. And he'd be angry at Winter for not stopping him. So Winter would tell him before that happened. But not when he was only feeling a bit of pain. This pain was necessary.

And it was Winter's fault Steve was distressed. Steve asked what the memory was, but he could have glossed over the details. He didn't have to tell about the saw, the blood... Winter was intentionally upsetting Steve and deserved the pain he got in return.

"I want to help." Steve's voice was rough, edged sharp with desperation.

"You do," Winter assured him, shifting a little closer so he could rest his forehead against Steve's collarbone. Steve always smelled so good, like safety, like warmth. "You are."

Steve blew out a breath, wrapping one arm about Winter's shoulders and bringing his flesh hand up to his lips to kiss it, as if in apology. He wasn't squeezing it so hard anymore, just gripping sure and steady. "I just... I want to do more."

Winter bit the inside of his cheek. This was...an opportunity to ask for what he needed, but he had to be careful. "It helps me when you touch my hair. And when you tell me what to do."

Steve pulled back until he could look Winter in the face. "Do you need me to do those things more? Or now?" Repositioning the arm that held Winter against him, he slipped his fingers into the hair at the back of Winter's neck.

Winter blushed a bit, hesitantly meeting Steve's eyes. He grimaced. "They help."

"Okay." Steve let out a breath, and his fingers moved against the base of Winter's skull sending bright little sparks of pleasure out under his skin. "I've been trying— I— You're important to me, and I love you." He looked away, expression sad and tinged with guilt. "I'm not very good at any of this."

"I know you've been trying." It's not like Winter hadn't noticed. "And I really appreciate that. A lot." He really did. And Steve was good, but Winter wasn't sure how to make him see that.

Steve met his eyes again, fingers twisting in Winter's hair. "Is there—is there anything else I can do?"

Winter took a breath. There were certainly many things Steve could do, were he willing even to consider them. But Winter couldn't suggest anything Steve would see as 'hurting' Winter. And that really did rule out nearly every possible punishment—on top of the fact that Steve didn't want to punish him at all.

But then he remembered. "The first day here—at the Tower—you...wrapped me in a blanket." He didn't quite meet Steve's eyes, but he felt them on him. "That...felt good, and it helped." He grimaced. "Just...being held still—I felt safe, secure." Protected, loved, and held in check. Under control.

When Winter chanced a glance at Steve's face, his brow was furrowed slightly. "Did you need me to do that again?"

"I think it might help." Winter was almost sure it would, even though it was unlikely Steve would restrain him in such a way that he couldn't get free if he tried. "But...you could just hold me still—just you." They were under blankets anyway.

"Bucky." Steve laced his fingers through Winter's flesh ones, squeezing slightly. Winter's hand only ached a little from how Steve had squeezed it earlier. His soft blue eyes glowed with sincerity. "If you need something, just ask—okay? But yeah, of course; I can do that if you need it."

Steve wrapped himself around Winter, arranging their bodies so his chest was pressed to Winter's back and his hips were tight against the curve of Winter's ass. He threw one leg, heavy and deliberate, across Winter's legs and wrapped one arm across Winter's chest, tight like a harness. The uncertainty in his voice was oddly discordant with the sure, determined way his body gripped Winter. "Is this...?" Okay? Good? Enough? Right? It was all of those things.

Nodding, Winter let out a shaky breath. His voice was rough when he said, "Don't let go."

"I won't." And there was the unwavering resolve.

Winter shuddered, pressing back against Steve's unmoving wall of muscle and determination. "Even if I fight you; don't let go."

Steve's exhalation stirred the hair at the back of Winter's neck. His voice was still strong and sure when he said, "I won't let you go."

So Winter let go a little himself, trusting that Steve would keep him together.

o0o

As Tony approached the labs, he was somewhat surprised to see the lights on in the main medical bay. Was someone just working late, or had there been an emergency? Frowning, he wandered in. Bruce was in the main room, doing something medical-y with medical-type stuff. "Working late?" Tony asked.

Bruce looked up. "Oh, kind of, I guess. We had new patients come in." 'New' patients sounded like new to the Tower, since everyone there had already seen Bruce or his staff at least once. Tony was about to ask who and where and other questions of that nature when Bruce added, "Doctor Simmons is with them now." Turning, he pointed to one of the exam rooms.

Tony pursed his lips, leaning on one of the lab tables. "Where's the other third of your medical staff?"

"Carter has the morning shift," Bruce explained, going back to whatever he'd been doing when Tony walked in. "Oh, and..." Bruce looked up again, smiling at Tony. "I'm glad to see you feeling better, too."

Tony nodded. As with any hangover, time and sleep had been the ultimate cure. "So when you say 'new patients', you mean new arrivals to the tower?" Bruce nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose with one knuckle. Tony pursed his lips again. "Chances they're HYDRA?"

Chuckling softly, Bruce shook his head. "Pretty low. They're a couple of kids, really—just thirteen and eighteen. Brothers."

"No adults with them?" Tony frowned. It wouldn't exactly be surprising, but it was still a bit disturbing.

"Technically," Bruce said, looking up and smiling, "eighteen is pretty universally recognized as an adult. At least for humans."

"Okay, but just barely," Tony shot back. Looking toward the closed door of the exam room, Tony frowned again. "Any injuries?"

Bruce shook his head. "No, but they're both at least mildly dehydrated and somewhat malnourished. It's a good thing they got here when they did."

Tony nodded. "Guess so."

The door swung open, and Simmons walked out, saying, "I'll want to see you both again in a few days, so I do hope you'll stay."

Rolling his eyes, Tony walked decisively towards her. He raised his voice, saying, "Of course they'll stay." He might have a reputation in some parts of the galaxy as a heartless bastard, but he wasn't about to turn children out into the cold. That would never happen.

Simmons turned to smile warmly at him. "Mister Stark, it's so good to see you again."

"It's good to see you as well, Doctor Simmons." Nodding, Tony returned her smile then turned his attention to her two patients where they stood just inside the door. They both had black hair, and the shorter one was sort of incredibly skinny and gawky in the way only teenage boys could be. "Welcome to Avenger Tower. I hope you'll enjoy your stay." They were both gaping at him, mouths open and eyes wide. Sighing, Tony resisted rolling his eyes. "Is it the celebrity thing?" He grinned. "I get that a lot."

Both boys moved at the same time to try to shake Tony's hand, so that didn't work out well. "Sorry," the older one said, rubbing awkwardly at the back of his neck. "Tadashi Hamada." He gestured to his brother. "And my brother, Hiro Hamada."

Tony shook Tadashi's hand then shook Hiro's as well. They were both gushing about what an honour it was to meet him, and Tony smiled to cover how much he really did want to roll his eyes. "I assume you've been assigned some quarters? JARVIS, we've given these kids somewhere to sleep, haven't we?"

"Affirmative, sir; I made the arrangements myself."

"Good." Tony ushered the kids out of the exam room, frowning sternly at them. "You weren't planning on going back out there into space any time soon were you?"

"Well..." Tadashi began, shifting his weight awkwardly from foot to foot. He offered Tony a hopeful half-smile. "A friend recommend this place, said his friend knew you were one of the good guys, that we could trust you."

Tony smirked. "Well, I don't know about trusting me, personally, but I'm on the good side, or at least a side that isn't trying to kill people and stuff, so that counts for something right?" He quirked an eyebrow. "Who's been recommending me, anyway?"

Tadashi glanced at his brother then back at Tony. He let out a breath. "Peter Parker? I don't know him, but he's a friend of Wasabi's..."

"Peter's okay?" Tony managed to restrain himself from grabbing Tadashi's arm.

"I think so?" Tadashi said slowly, grimacing. "All I know is that he told Wasabi about you, but I don't really know how long ago that was." He let out a breath. "I figured it couldn't hurt to ask for your help..."

Tony knew nothing about this 'Wasabi' person—other than that he approved of the name—but it was the closest thing he'd had to word about Peter in...how long had it been, anyway? Far too long. Since before this whole stupid war broke out. But Peter was a smart kid. And tough. Tony let out a breath. "Well, Peter's right; you'll be safe here." He tilted his head to one side, regarding Tadashi. "You know of any place safer? Any place that would be even partially safe to go travelling to—just two kids, alone—right now?"

Tadashi shook his head, gaze lowered. "This was the only place we knew to try." He shrugged his shoulders.

"JARVIS, these too have food in their kitchen yet?" Tony asked. He didn't miss the way Hiro's face brightened at the word 'food'.

"Security personnel are stocking their quarters with standard necessities as we speak, sir."

Tony smiled. "Great work, J." Then he turned to the Hamada brothers. "Had you met JARVIS?"

Tadashi nodded. "He answered my hails and gave us permission to dock."

Tony's smile broadened. No doubt JARVIS also called Bruce and Simmons, or at least one of the two. "Well, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask JARVIS. Any time, day or night. He's happy to help."

Tadashi smiled. "Yeah, I was getting that impression. He's really a brilliant AI, sir."

"Thank you," JARVIS replied, soundly mildly pleased.

Tadashi grinned, glancing up at the ceiling. "You're welcome, JARVIS."

"Now unless the doctors need you for anything else..." Tony looked from Bruce to Simmons, but they both shook their heads. "You should head for those quarters JARVIS assigned, eat, and get to bed."

"Thank you, sir." Tadashi shook his hand again. Just as Tony expected him to turn away he said, "I'd like a job, Mister Stark. I—I'm only a student, but I'm really good at robotics; I think I could help you out."

The kid wanted to earn his keep. And his brother's keep. Tony nodded. "Absolutely. We'll get you some lab space and anything you need. After your next doctor's appointment—I want you to rest and recover between now and then. As Bruce keeps telling me, the brain works better when the body's healthy." He caught Bruce's smile and poked his tongue out at him.

"I'm fine, though," Tadashi protested. "I can start right away."

"Right..." Tony looked him up and down, taking in the way his hands shook slightly and the dark hollows under his eyes. "When was the last time you slept? Or ate anything?"

"We had dinner last night." Hiro looked between his brother and Tony. "Some protein bars and a bit of dried fruit."

Well, it was better than nothing, anyway. But it had been at least a full day since they'd last eaten? That was something Tony might do, sure, but these were kids—the younger one wasn't even finished growing. What they hell would they have done had JARVIS not let them in? Tony narrowed his eyes at Hiro. "Did your brother actually eat any of that?"

"Well..." Hiro hung his head, flushing. "He said he wasn't hungry, and made me eat half his protein bar." He looked up, meeting Tony's eyes from under his messy bangs. "But I saw him eat some of the fruit!"

Tony wondered briefly how good Tadashi was at sleight of hand. But either way, he'd eaten half a protein bar, so it was something. Not ideal, of course, but still something. He clapped both boys on their shoulders. "We've got plenty of food, so I expect you both to eat even if you're not hungry." He gave them both a stern look.

"Mister Stark is right," Simmons said, appearing at his elbow with a pleasant smile. "You're both doing well, considering the circumstances, but it is imperative now that you take in adequate calories to help your bodies recover." Simmons gave them her own stern look. "And sleep, too." Her firm nod reminded Tony of a nanny or schoolmarm from some old movie. "Also very important." She smiled brightly at Tadashi. "I work in biochem when I'm not here in medical, so I don't expect we'll be working together too closely, but all the same I look forward to being your coworker."

"Wait..." Tadashi was boggling at Simmons as if she were Tony Stark all over again. "You're—are you Jemma Simmons?"

Simmons' brow furrowed. "...yes?"

Tadashi shoved his hand through his short hair making it stand on end. "I've—I've read all your work; it's fascinating, brilliant. I just didn't expect to ever get to meet you." He grinned at Tony then back at her. "I didn't know you were working for Mister Stark—is your partner Leo Fitz here as well?"

Simmons' face fell and her shoulders drooped. "No." Her voice came out edged in unmistakable sadness. "I'm afraid he's not."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Tadashi put a hand briefly on her elbow. "I've got friends still out there, too." He grimaced, eyes filled with sincerity. "I hope and pray that they're safe—that they'll find some place safe—at least for now."

"If you have any way to contact them," Tony offered, "tell them to come here. There might be other safe harbours in this storm, but this is the one I'm sure of." The Gifted had one too, their 'Asteroid M' wherever it might be, but they were unlikely to accept baselines into their fold, and chances were the Hamada brothers were as baseline as Tony himself. Flashing a grin at his new guests, he added, "And this one's got me, so what more could you want?"

o0o

At first, Bucky just shuddered in Steve's grip, so Steve murmured, "It's all right, Bucky. I'm here; you're safe." When Bucky stated twitching, Steve didn't loosen his grip, just pressed his face into Bucky's hair—it smelled like Steve's shampoo, and like Bucky; it smelled nice. "I've got you."

Bucky groaned. "Tighter."

So Steve tightened his grip. He didn't want to leave bruises, and on a normal baseline human, he probably would be leaving some already. But Bucky wasn't a normal baseline human. Like Steve, Bucky was tougher. "I've got you, Bucky," he said again.

"Steve," Bucky panted, and if Bucky had been a normal baseline human, Steve would have called what he was doing struggling at that point. But he knew how strong Bucky was, knew he wasn't really trying to get free.

Steve honestly wasn't sure what Bucky was doing, but he'd agreed to hold him still, to hold on even if Bucky fought him, so he kept his word. "What do you need, Bucky?"

"Tighter," Bucky hissed.

Steve complied, but he said, "Much tighter, and I might crack your ribs." He tried to laugh to lighten the mood, but it came out stiff and awkward.

"'M fine," Bucky insisted, gritting his teeth. "I can take it."

"I know you're strong," Steve assured him. "You might even be stronger than me now—again." He grinned, and his quiet laugh came easier. "But I'm not going to risk hurting you, Bucky."

"Why?" Bucky's voice was frustrated, exasperated, as he jerked his shoulders against Steve's grip—still not really trying to shake Steve off.

"Because you're mine." The words were out before Steve could edit them, so he made sure to clarify, "My boyfriend, and my best friend," because that's what he meant. Bucky stilled, wasn't struggling at all anymore. And because this was important to Bucky, Steve added, "And I'm your CO, so that means I have to take care of you." It wasn't exactly the standard definition of a 'CO', but it wasn't really too much of a stretch either. Bucky just relaxed—he was still shaking a bit, but it was different, and he was laughing softly and maybe crying too. It sounded like relief. "Buck?" Steve tried. His body was loose and pliable in Steve's arms. "Tell me how you feel."

"Better." Bucky shuddered against him then swallowed. "Better."

"Should I—do you want to move around again?" Maybe it had been enough, but Steve wasn't about to loosen his grip before Bucky gave him the go ahead.

"Yeah." Bucky's voice was rough and a little shaky as he nodded his head. So Steve immediately loosened his grip, and Bucky turned to face him, movements loose and relaxed as he pulled Steve into a kiss and whispered, "Thank you," against his lips. There were tears sticking Bucky's eyelashes into wet clumps, but he seemed happy.

Steve let himself feel relief then, spreading in his chest, an insistent bloom of hope. Because maybe he wasn't entirely terrible at being what Bucky needed. His own voice was rough when he said, "Glad I could help."

o0o

Tony was elbows-deep in metal and grease when Rhodey walked into the lab. Looking up, Tony flashed him a grin. "Evening."

Rhodey nodded, leaning against a lab table and crossing his ankles. "It's actually after midnight, but sure."

Tony shrugged. It's not like it mattered to him what time it was. He twisted a bolt with a wrench. "Hey, don't you have kids you're supposed to be watching?" Tilting his head in Rhodey's direction, he quirked an eyebrow.

Rhodey shrugged, hands resting on the edge of the table at his back. "They're asleep."

Tony laughed softly, rubbing at his forehead with the back of one wrist. "I'm sure there are reasons why you're probably not supposed to leave them anyway." Not that Tony would really know—or that his own childhood was any gauge for what was expected. Or healthy.

Rhodey's smile was easy. "This Tower...it's not like the places most of us grew up; it's not a city or a colony or a regular station...it's more like a big shared house. Everyone here is kind of like an extended family. So..." He shrugged again. "I don't really feel bad about it. Besides, JARVIS will alert me immediately if there's anything wrong. And they kind of wander the station mostly unsupervised during the day anyway." That was true, though Tony hadn't seen either one in the lab lately. Which was probably a good thing.

Pursing his lips thoughtfully, Tony tilted his head to one side. "I guess JARVIS is kind of supervising us all."

"Which is only slightly creepy," Rhodey interjected.

Tony shook his head, grinning. "J's a good guy."

"Yeah, I know." Rhodey grinned. "It's just a little 'He sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake.'"

Tony met his eyes. "JARVIS has let me down a lot less often than Santa Claus. And anyway, I was thinking...we've got all these kids here now."

"'All these kids'?" Rhodey frowned.

"Well there's your two," Tony clarified, nodding to Rhodey, as he continued his work, "Carter's girl, the new kid, and of course Pepper and Happy's in a few months."

"'New kid'?" Rhodey's brow twisted in puzzlement.

"Just arrived tonight," Tony explained. As far as Tony knew, Rhodey never worked nights, so it made sense he wouldn't know yet. "Well, two kids, but the older one's eighteen, and apparently that's 'legally an adult'." He made a vague, disbelieving sound. "Pretty sure I shouldn't have been legally recognized as an adult at that age."

Rhodey huffed, looking at the floor. "Not sure you should be even now."

Rolling his eyes, Tony set down his wrench and picked up a rag to wipe his hands. He quirked an eyebrow at Rhodey. "That what this is about? You checking up on me?"

Rhodey shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes. "Obviously someone has to."

"Hey." Tony tossed the rag aside and leaned his hip against the lab table, folding his arms. "Bruce and Thor both already came by earlier to make sure I wasn't comatose or whatever."

"Speaking of Thor..." There was a hint of challenge in Rhodey's voice. "Did you apologize to him?"

Tony twisted his brows in incredulity. "Why would I?" Thor hadn't been offended by the flirting or the cuddling or anything. Thor had been fine.

"Because..." Rhodey sighed. "You talked him into giving you a potentially very dangerous substance. He wouldn't want you to be hurt, especially not by him."

"I'm fine, though." Turning back to his project, Tony picked up his wrench again. "So this new kid—the older one—he's a robotics student. I figure he'll fit in well."

"Don't think I don't see what you're doing, Tony." Rhodey's voice was laced with a tired sort of warning.

Tony resisted rolling his eyes; of course Rhodey saw Tony's attempt to change the subject, but it was about to work. "And apparently he sorta knows Peter," he pressed on. "A friend of a friend."

"Peter!" Rhodey moved to Tony's side, radiating hope and concern. "Is he okay?"

Tony adjusted a bolt carefully. "That's exactly what I asked."

"And?" Rhodey gripped the edge of the lab table with one hand.

Tony grimaced. "He thinks so." He let out a breath, shoulders sagging slightly. "Peter's been telling his friends that we're safe, a safe place. Telling them to come here."

Rhodey's grin was a little hesitant as hope flashed in his eyes. "That's good, right?"

"Yeah." Turning towards Rhodey, Tony offered him a soft smile. "I think that's very good." If only Peter could take his own advice. Then, that'd be great.

o0o

Notes on characters and canon:

Tadashi Hamada, Hiro Hamada, and Wasabi are from 'Big Hero 6'. (It's cool, it's Marvel, and if you haven't seen it yet, you really should—but it's absolutely not required to enjoy or understand this fic.)

Peter Parker is based primarily on his film portrayals by Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield but takes significant inspiration from his appearance in 'Spectacular Spider-Man'. Like Tadashi, he's eighteen at this point in my story.

o0o