Disclaimer: I don't own it.

I want to make it clear now that my friend Lollie is only like my Lily in the boy craziness. I don't think she'd ever be like this, but then again, she doesn't have a brother, so I guess we'll never know.

The next few days passed quickly. Asher and I flew a lot, which I loved. We made something yummy for breakfast every day, and slowly, the awkward rift that had formed between us since the beginning of December was melting away. I put the notebook on a shelf in my room, next to the tree that Al gave me. I was saving it, wanting to start it on New Years Day, a new journal to greet the new year.

On New Years Eve, everyone came over to our house, because the Banana House was the most rural of all our houses, which meant that we could use magic fireworks. Everyone arrived at about nine o'clock, and we sat around the house, doing puzzles to pass the time. At half eleven, George, James, Teddy and Hugo bundled up and went out to set up the fireworks. Five minutes later, we heard a muffled bang, a yelled curse and then an 'I'm okay!' from the hill beyond the garden. We chose not to ask.

At quarter to twelve, we all suited ourselves up in coats and boots. Al winked at me as he shrugged into his jacket; it was the same one he'd lent to me on the night we'd gotten together. We all got pots and pans and spoons to bang together; there's nothing more fun that being allowed to make as much noise as you like and not have a single person even thinking that you shouldn't.

So we all headed out into the garden. I climbed the sycamore really quietly, and Al snuck up after me. James had come back near the house, to do the count down at the top of his lungs. We counted down the last minute until midnight, all of us shouting at the tops of our lungs. Ten, nine, eight…his green eyes were reflecting the moonlight…five, four…I felt like the intensity was crushing me, like I couldn't even breathe from it…two, one. Our lips met as the fireworks exploded into the sky, and I saw them reflected in his eyes, the colors splashed across his face. We forgot about the people on the ground, our friends and family, our lives. All we knew was this kiss, here and now. His lips stopped for a moment, he spoke in a whisper hardly above breathing, right against my lips. 'I think I love you.' I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing, sinking back into that kiss.

On the ground…

Lily, James and Asher were standing in the garden, a little ways away from the gnarled sycamore. James heard voices above yelling along with the count, and looked up to see his little brother and Sha curled together in the tree. Well that was actually quite unexpected. Asher and Lily followed his gaze, to see their best friend and Lily's brother, and Lily was not happy. But, despite what they saw, the countdown continued. Five, four, three, two, one. She kissed Asher, but her heart really wasn't in it. After a moment he pulled away, and the three on the ground looked at the oblivious two in the tree, who were still kissing. Then they stopped for a moment, and he said something. There was no way either Asher or Lily could have heard it, but they both knew what had been said. Feeling utterly betrayed, she stalked off to stand with Rose and fume. Ash and James just stood there for a minute, looking up at the macking pair in the tree.

'Well isn't that something,' James said. 'Albus and Saoirse sitting in a tree, S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G.' He wandered off, shaking his head.

Asher just stood there, lost in thought. 'Saoirse and Albus, sitting in a tree, F-A-L-L-I-N-G in love.'

A few minutes later, after everyone else had gone in, we remembered ourselves and climbed out of the tree. I went first, and I had just jumped off the bottom branch when a hand shot out of the shadows and grabbed the top of my arm. It was Lily.

'What the fuck was that?' she demanded. Al was looking at us with an 'Oh Shit' face, but I waved him away. This was my argument to fight.

'What was what?' I asked, knowing full well what was what.

'You were up in that tree snogging my brother!' she was trembling with rage.

'He's a big kid, he can look after himself.' I struggled to keep my voice calm. The last thing I needed was to blow up at her right now.

'He's my brother. If you weren't going to date with my approval, at least you could have let me know.'

'Oh, you mean like you and Asher did?'

'He's not your brother!'

'He's as good as!' I could feel myself getting angrier.

'And besides, we're just having a bit of fun. You fucking idiot, you've gone and fallen in love with him.'

'It's none of your business! He's seventeen, for fuck's sake! He's a legal adult, he can make his own decisions! And so can I. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, so stop sticking your neb in everyone else's business!'

'So that's how it is? You ruin everything!'

'Can't you just be happy for us?' I asked in a much quieter tone.

'No! One of you is going to get hurt, I just know it, and I don't want it to be him!'

'Sod off! Life is pain, anyone who says different is selling something. The trick to it is finding the good in amongst the bad. And sometimes, it's about hunting out the bad, looking for the loudest silence, so you can pit yourself against it and prove to yourself that you can stick it.'

'You just stay away from my brother!' she yelled.

'And you can have Asher! Since you've taken everything else from me, why not him too, hey?' I stormed off towards the house. I threw open the kitchen door with a bang, and stalked into the living room just in time to hear my mother telling the assembled guests that she was pregnant. My muttered 'Fucking brilliant,' was only heard by Rose, who raised her eyebrows at me as I ran up the stairs to my room.

I slammed the door behind me and locked it with my wand; in a house this packed with witches and wizards, they wouldn't be able to Trace it to me. Then I kicked off my boots, threw my coat on the floor, and collapsed face-first onto my bed. I wasn't sure if I wanted to scream or cry, or both. A few minutes later, I heard a tentative tap on my door.

'Fuck off!'

'It's Al.' Aw fuck, I'd been hoping that this could wait until later. I unlocked the door, and he came in, shutting it behind him. He came and sat down next to me on the bed. He started to say something, but I cut him off.

'Look, Al, this isn't going to work. They all hate me now. And I hate me too. We never should have done what we did. It was wonderful and terrifying, but it was wrong. And I do love you, Kurt do I love you, but it just won't work.' I could feel the tears streaming down my face now, but I wasn't choked up or anything. 'I think that we should just end it now, as friends, so no one gets hurt.'

He wrapped his arms around me and I sank into them. He was crying too; I could feel his tears hitting my head. I sat up, and kissed him one last time.

''Bye, Sha.'

''Bye, Al. Make sure not to lose the fucking scarf, I bet that it'll come in handy one of these days.' He smiled sadly and let himself out, locking the door again behind him.

Then the tears came in earnest, racking sobs that shook my whole body. I just curled up and let them hit me.

For once I didn't have to prove that I was stronger than what I was facing; I didn't need to be. I just had to be brave enough to try again.

Which I wasn't. I'm too much of a fucking coward. They should have put me in bleeding Slytherin. Or better yet, just killed me and put me out of everyone's misery.

THE END.

Ha, ha, I had you there Lollie. I wish I'd seen the look on your face. No, there's a few more chapters. But that would have been funny.

The part that James and Asher say, the 'Saoirse and Al, sitting in a tree, S-N-O-G-G-I-N-G. Al and Saoirse, sitting in a tree, F-A-L-L-I-N-G in love' is out of the song 'Draco and Harry' by the Whomping Willows. I'm not usually one for slash, but Kurt do I love that song.