Thanks for your patience.

You're going to hate me these next couple chapters. I will bet my one-thousand-plus crane collection on it. There is a reason this fic is called Bittersweet Journey, people. Man, this fic is drawing to a close. And you are not going to like the ending. AT ALL. I'm both relieved and sad that this fic is ending, but Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. This is the third (maybe fourth) to last chapter, and YOU WILL HATE ME FOR IT. LET THE HATING COMMENCE.

Ch. 20: Our Move

Ryusei

Amnesia sucks.

Well, of course it does. Not remembering anything about yourself isn't exactly someone's life goal. But that isn't why I hate it so much. I hate it because I have it, and I feel so out of place.

I've been feeling like that for the past week. When I randomly woke up in the hospital that day, all I could remember was my name. I've been acting like a zombie since then and I'm still not sure if I'm a hundred percent over that yet. Nearly everyone I spoke to (which wasn't a whole lot of people, mind you) would look at me like I had something weird on my face. The only people I can speak with without feeling awkward were Roxas and Sora, and the former was the first person I met in this place. Sora…was another story.

I don't know where to start with this guy. He looks exactly like me, first off – hair, face, eyes, body build, everything – so don't blame me for being at least a little confused by that when I saw him for the first time. He told me it was because we were twins – two siblings that looked identical to each other, I understood later – so it was only natural. It felt like he was right, but I couldn't shake the suspicion that he wasn't telling me everything. But since I had no way to argue against this, I just went along with it.

Second – Roxas told me that Sora had taken a sword blow for me that nearly killed him, and for me it was like I'd just learned that a complete stranger had saved my life. It felt less weird after I was told that we were brothers, but still – you don't get told stuff like that every day. Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful to him and everything because, well, he saved my life, stranger or not. I can't deny it was still pretty awkward, though. Though learning all this had made me wonder – just how many other things had he done for me, and how important was I to him for him to use himself as a shield? I don't know, and I doubt that I'll ever find out even if I get my memory back.

The topic of which I am speaking of to Sora at this moment. I want to feel like I actually belong here, so I ask about myself to Sora every chance I can get. This is one of those chances. Today, though, is special – Sora had promised to show me something, as he called it, "totally awesome", and I'm practically getting an ulcer from the impatience.

"C'mon! Show it to me now!" I say petulantly. "Quit stalling!"

"Whoa, easy there, Ryusei," Sora warns me through a grunt of pain. "I'll show you, okay? Just try not to main me horribly before I can. I'm not exactly in peak condition."

Sora's saying that since he's still stuck on the hospital bed. According to Roxas, he gets blood transfusions (I'm not totally sure what that means, but it's keeping Sora alive for the moment and that's all I need to know) once a day and the doctors pretty much forced him to stay in bed until he's one hundred percent. Since I'd only gotten hurt on the head – don't know how to pronounce the name for it – I can wander around as much as I like and only take some painkillers for the next week. Annoying, but better than being held in one place against your will. I don't think I can stand even a moment of that.

Plus I'd kind of jostled him in my haste, and he's still wrapped in bandages. Oops.

"Sorry," I mumble. "I didn't mean to."

This might be kind of weird to mention, but I'll say it anyway: whenever I see Sora in some kind of discomfort – any kind, really – I go through a huge mantra of guilt, like whatever is hurting him is my fault. I know I shouldn't be feeling that way since there's no reason for me to, but I can't help it – the guilt always comes. It's baffling, to say the least. It's probably because the reason Sora is in that bed in the first place is because he was trying to save me, but it's still strange.

Sora raises himself to a more comfortable position as he says, "Don't worry. It kinda is my fault for not showing you earlier, anyway." He rubs his hands together. "Well then, let's do this. Try not to get a heart attack."

I don't understand what he means by this, and my confusion is only made worse by Sora holding out his hand in front of him like he's trying to grab something that wasn't there. But all that goes out the window when a giant three-foot-long key suddenly materializes in that hand. I don't suffer a heart attack, thankfully, but it's only by a little. I almost fall off the chair I'm sitting on, though.

"Wh-what is that?" I splutter near-incoherently. "That just – appeared in your hands!"

Sora looks like he's trying not to laugh at my reaction. "This is called a Keyblade," he informs me, still grinning. "Pretty handy for killing monsters and making locks borderline useless."

"What?"

Sora chuckles, unable to hold it in anymore. "Man, where do I start. Well, get comfortable. This is probably going to take a while."

I'll spare you the details of what he just told me. Because, frankly, my brain can still barely process it. I'll give you the one-sentence version: It's a magic weapon that acts like both a sword and a key, only certain people can use it, and all his friends save a couple can use one. Talk about an overload of information.

The kicker? He told me that I can use one, too.

"You're not serious," I say once he finishes. "You're joking, right? I seriously can't do the same thing as you!" Me, make a magical sword key appear out of thin air? This sounds like the most blatant lie I've heard so far. But Sora doesn't look like he's joking.

He holds out the hilt of the Keyblade in my direction. "Try holding it," he suggests. "You'll get what I mean."

"But –"

"Just do it already," he insists. "It's fine. It won't disappear on you, I promise."

I don't know what he means by that, but I don't ask. I hesitate before taking it, and then I grip the hilt. The second I make contact with it, a sort of warmth spreads into my arm and my whole body. I take it off Sora's hands and look it over, feeling like I'd seen the intricate blue and white filigrees somewhere before, but I can't put my finger on it. After a full minute of looking the Keyblade up and down, I hand it back to Sora, who is waiting patiently. He takes the Keyblade off my hands and it vanishes in a bright white light.

"So," he begins as he lowers his arm, "how did it feel?"

I have to think for a second before I can give him an answer.

"Warm," I answer him at last.

He smiles, but I know that he's not laughing at me. He probably knows what I'm talking about more than I do.

"Now you try," Sora says encouragingly.

"I…" I don't know what to say. "I can't. I don't know how. And you said that I forgot, so I can't…"

He sighs, but he sounds more resigned than irritated.

"Look, Ryusei," he says patiently. "Summoning a Keyblade isn't something that you learn or forget. Will it to come to you. Ask your heart."

"Ask…my heart?"

He nods.

I'm still reluctant. This is crazy; there's no way I can do this.

"Try it," Sora insists.

Like he's giving me any choice.

"…Okay."

I hold my hand out the way Sora had done, and (feeling kind of stupid) will the Keyblade to come to me the way his did. I don't really expect to succeed, but that's where it comes back to bite me because sure enough – a giant key flashes into existence in my hand. I'm so surprised that I nearly drop it. Though I manage to hold on to the thing, I'm not sure whether I should be delighted or shocked.

"There, you see?" Sora congratulates me, though I can swear I can hear some smugness in his tone. I can't be sure. "I told you that you could do it!"

I ignore him and observe the weapon. I turn it around in my hands, looking over its entire length. It feels so strange – like I just discovered I had magic powers. Not only that…

"Sora…" I begin to say, and he glances over at me questioningly. "This is a…Keyblade, you called it, right?"

"Yeah." Sora's eyes narrow slightly. "What of it?"

"Well, I'm just wondering…why does it look exactly like yours? Didn't you say these are unique to the people who can use them?"

He blinks, like he'd been expecting some other question, but quickly regains his composure. "Oh, that? That's because we share the same one."

"We're…sharing this?" I ask, thoroughly puzzled.

"Yep." To prove his point, Sora summons his Keyblade again and holds it up to mine. The identical weapons gleamed.

Now I'm even more confused than before. "How are we sharing the same Keyblade?"

"It's kinda hard to explain," Sora admits, making his disappear. "But it exists in two places at once. It's like that for us. None of us are sure why, though."

I sigh and decide to just go with it. There's way too much that I don't know, and I'm not about to give myself another headache trying to wrap my mind around it.

Speaking of which, another one of those strikes at that moment. My Keyblade vanishes as I rub my forehead incessantly.

"Stupid headache," I mutter, grumbling. "Can't I get a break from you for at least two hours?"

"You sure you remembered to take your painkillers today?" Sora demands, his expression suddenly stern. "It doesn't look like you did."

"I did, honest!" I protest. I don't want to get on his bad side if he had one. "It's just that…those, uh, doctors said that it would be a while before that stuff kicks in."

Immediately his face clears, smoothing out into a grin. How does he do that? "Oh, is that the case? Then you should just take it easy."

"Take it easy," I repeated, confused as usual. "I'm already doing that, aren't I?"

Sora laughed. "Sure. I guess you are. Looks like I don't have to worry about you anymore."

"What?"

Before he can explain, the door to the room bursts open and two girls charge in, followed by Roxas and his twin Ventus. Other than their clothes, they were impossible to tell apart. Definitely not a coincidence, but I hope to find out the reason behind it soon.

The two girls that just ran in (to my horror) immediately tackle Sora back down onto his bed. They're…what was it called? 'Glomping' him, I think was the term? Well, anyway, they aren't giving him a chance to even breathe properly, and that's not good – not in his current condition.

"Agh!" Sora was crying out from his spot underneath the girls struggling to break free, but it wasn't doing him much good at all. "Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-OW! Get off me – it hurts! I can't breathe! I need air; I NEED AIR!" he chokes out, finally getting them off of him. They look positively horrorstruck – well, one of them, the blonde one, does. The other girl, a redhead, just looks really, really mad, and I couldn't imagine why.

"Oh – I'm so sorry!" the blonde girl gasps in horror, looking ashamed of herself. "I didn't mean to – I was just –"

The redhead interrupts her. "What the heck were you thinking, Sora?!" she rages, stabbing an accusatory finger in his direction and making him recoil in fear. "What's the big idea making us all panic like that?! Why can't you be just a little less reckless just once in your life?!"

Sora stammers, "H-hey, I was only –"

"I don't care what you've been doing! You almost died several times already, and there's no telling when you'll –"

"Okay!" The blonde cuts into her rant. "Um, Sora, don't mind Kairi; she's just been really worried. We were all worried, actually. Axel told us the whole story, and we're glad you're okay. I just hope nothing else too serious has happened."

"No-nothing too major," Sora answers her, apparently relieved to have been saved from the redhead's anger. "Though there was this guy" – Sora thumbs in my direction – "that kinda complicated things."

The two girls noticed my presence for the first time. The redhead, Kairi, the one that previously railed on Sora, eyes me with a mix of curiosity and intent, like she was sizing me up, comparing the two of us and deciding whether I was better than him or not. She's making me feel like I'm being X-rayed.

"So," she says in a tone I can't place. "You're Ryusei? This is the first time I've ever met you. I've heard about you though. Anyway, my name is Kairi. Nice to meet you." She holds out a hand towards me. I'm confused for a minute before I realize that she's asking to shake my hand.

"Um…same here," I say awkwardly as we shake. My eyes automatically flash to the blonde girl, maybe as a plea, but I'm not too sure. Either way, she gets my message.

"Hi, Ryusei," she greets me easily like we've been friends forever. "I'm Naminé. I've heard so much about you, and I'm glad we finally got to meet."

"You…you've heard about me?" I blurt out without thinking.

"Of course!" she says, beaming. "You were always the subject on Sora's lips. He spoke pretty highly of you, and I've always wondered what you were like."

I glance at Sora in confusion. He scowls and turns away when he catches my eye, his face reddening. He'd talked about me to these girls before?

"Um…oh. That's – cool, I guess." I can feel my own face getting hot, but suddenly I realize something that snaps me out of my embarrassment. "Wait, so we've never met before? Not even before I –"

"Nope," Roxas comes into the conversation, and I jump. I'd completely forgotten he was there. "This is the first time you three have met. You, well…you weren't the most social type of person. You normally liked being alone, according to Sora, anyway. None of his friends have seen your face until now."

"Oh." That's all I can think of to say. But something else is bothering me – if I really had been an antisocial person who'd hated going outside, then how had I gotten attacked? It's possible that I was ambushed from inside the house, but then how did Roxas just come by and find us if he didn't live in the same place as us?

"So what are you two going to do?" Roxas had turned his attention to the girls. "Are you going to stay here a bit longer, or do you want Sora to rest up a little more?"

"We'll let him rest," Kairi says abruptly as she faces the door. "He's going to need it for what's coming up." She flashes Sora a look that makes him flinch.

For the first time I'm not the only one in the dark about the goings-on. Ventus and Sora (once he recovers from Kairi's glare) both look lost.

"What's coming up?" Ventus asks Roxas, the only viable source of information.

Sora cocks his head sideways in puzzlement. "Roxas?"

Instead of answering, Roxas turns his attention to Kairi and Naminé. "Yeah, I guess you're right. You should both head back. It's going to get a bit dangerous from here on out and we don't want either of you to be caught up in it."

Naminé begins to protest, "But Roxas –"

"C'mon, Naminé," Kairi cuts her off in a hard voice. "Let's go. I'm sure they can handle things on their own." She shoots another one of those glares in Sora's direction as she says, "You'd better watch your back. Got that?"

Sora cringes. "Yeah. Okay."

She then stalks out of the room without a backward glance. Naminé looks frantically between Kairi's back and Sora before hurrying after her. Once she's gone, the three of us look to Roxas for clarification.

"What's going on, Roxas?" Sora demands. "What aren't you telling me?"

"You never told me anything about this either," Ventus adds, sounding peeved.

"With good reason," Roxas mutters under his breath, though I'm not sure if the others heard. He then raises his voice and says, "Terra decided that we shouldn't just sit around and wait for something to happen any longer than we have already. We're going to move against him as of now. Sora, remember what you told us about when you accidently wandered into his lab? We're going to try and stop him from employing the clones before they become a threat. After all that's happened with us, we're not taking any more chances." Here Roxas spares a glance in my direction, though it's so fleeting that I can't really tell.

Sora doesn't say anything for a second. I'm not too good at reading people's expressions yet, but I think he looks a bit…annoyed.

"When are you leaving for that place, exactly?" Sora finally asks. There's an indicative edge in the question, like he is trying to get Roxas to take the hint.

"The day after tomorrow." Roxas misses the hint. Sucks to be him. "We still have to prepare; it's not like we're marching in on it in ten minutes."

Luckily, Ventus doesn't. "Um, Roxas, you do realize that…Sora's not going to be able to…you know…"

"What?" Roxas looks lost for a moment before making an oh-crap face. "Oh, right. Sorry, Sora; I didn't realize that –"

Sora sighs like this is a common occurrence. "Never mind; forget about it. It's happened before, and it wasn't your fault. Well, except for the first time."

He shoots a reproving glance at Ventus, who flushes at the statement.

"Hey, how many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't me that did that?" he protested, looking flustered. "And what's with that look; I thought you'd forgiven me!"

Sora laughs at his awkwardness, which seems kind of mean, but he could be just teasing. "Easy there, Ven. Just messing with you," he says lightly. "I guess one of my friends trying to kill me is an everyday thing for me. I'm used to it."

I'm dumbfounded. "You're used to having your best friends try to kill you?!" I exclaim incredulously. "That's –"

"Crazy. I know that. As you probably realize by now, this isn't the first time I nearly died." Sora stretches his arms toward the ceiling then winces in pain. "Ow. Man, I hate this. Roxas, can't you tell the medics to just give me an Elixir or something? I'm sick of waiting in bed!"

"You think I haven't tried that?" Roxas retorts acidly. "They won't let you. Your injuries are too severe."

"But I'm pretty much healed up now! Why can't they just finish the job nice and quick so I won't have to deal with this?"

"Quit complaining, Sora. Even magic potions can't replace lost blood, you know."

Sora sighs in irritation and flops back down onto his bed. "This is so annoying," he grumbles. "I never get to do anything anymore. I can't even go along on this mission because of my stupid injuries, and you're getting all the fun."

I'm not really paying attention to the conversation (not that I knew what they were talking about, anyway). Frankly, I'm horrified by what Sora had just said – waving away his close brush with death just like it was any normal occurrence? What possessed him to act like that? Was risking his life something he did on a daily basis?

"You know, it isn't exactly our fault that you can't come along," Roxas says critically, almost scolding him. "You just throw yourself into those situations without thinking and force us to go along with it. You think last time was an exception?"

"I wasn't expecting to be hurt quite that badly, you know."

"Still your fault. And besides, you're arguing against yourself. You just basically said yourself that you're impulsive."

"I don't know what impulsive even means."

"Sora, you're crazy," I blurt out suddenly, causing the three of them to look at me questioningly. "How can you brush off something like this like it's nothing? Is it normal for you to battle to the death? That's insane! You're insane!"

"Well, in his case," Ventus cuts in, "he sort of can. He's not like the rest of us."

That's probably important information, but I ignore it. "That's no excuse!" I say angrily. "I can't let my brother put his life on the line so casually!"

Roxas raises a hand in order to call me down. "Listen, Ryusei, we understand that. Seriously, we do. That's why we're not letting him go with us this time. But Sora really is different – it's his destiny to fight evil. I know it sounds horribly cliché and cheesy, but it's the honest truth. Sora couldn't avoid it if he tried and, quite honestly, trouble usually finds him first."

"Hey!" Sora protests as he abruptly sits up again.

"What? I'm only telling it like it is."

"Roxas, I swear, once I get out of this bed –"

"Okay!" I interrupt. "I get it. I get it now, so quit fighting."

The truth is, I don't. I'm still trying to grasp it, trying to make it all make sense. But I can't. Maybe I'm thinking a little too hard on this subject, because the sharp pangs in my forehead return with a vengeance. I wince and clasp my forehead to try and ease the pain, but it's not working very well.

Roxas notices my discomfort and asks, "Hey, you okay? What's the matter?"

I curse under my breath. "None of this is making sense," I mutter, injecting more frustration into my voice than I'd intended. "I don't know half of what's going on, no one ever tells me anything, and trying to figure it out on my own gives me these stupid migraines." I stare at the polished marble floor. "It's not fair."

Part of me knows that I'm acting like a kid, but I don't care. I have good reason to feel this way. No one likes being left in the dark. Not even zombie-like amnesiac people. Sora is my brother, for goodness' sakes. He shouldn't be keeping secrets from me like this.

Sora looks at me then turns his gaze to his hands, eyebrows furrowed, like he is thinking hard about something. Then, still staring at his hands, he finally says, "You know something…Ryusei's got a point. It's unfair that he's kept in the dark about everything. I mean, you two know what I'm talking about, right?" He directs this question to Roxas and Ventus, who suddenly have guilty expressions on their faces. "As you know, the results of that failed communication didn't turn out all that pretty for either of you. You don't want something like that happening to my brother, do you?"

I'm mystified. Sora is acting…mature. Not only that, but he's actually backing me up. Granted, I'm not really sure what he's basing this argument on, but judging from the expressions on both Roxas's and Ventus's faces, I don't think this is a topic I can ask freely on.

"Tell you what," Sora goes on, taking advantage of their brief hesitation. "Here's an idea. Let Ryusei go along with you in my place. That way, he'll know first-hand."

This time it's Ventus and Roxas who look surprised. Well, Roxas looks surprised, at least.

"Hang on a second, I don't think that's such a good idea," Roxas warns him after regaining his composure. "If you haven't noticed –"

"Of course he's noticed!" Ventus counters him. "He wouldn't tell us to take him otherwise, right?"

I look to Sora for answers. He looks confident in what he'd just proposed, which makes me think that maybe he doesn't have his priorities quite straight yet. How does he expect me to go along with these two into some underground lab on a death mission? I'd be a goner in five seconds flat!

I think Sora noticed my shock, because he says firmly, "Listen, Ryusei. If you want to know what's going on – and by all means, you deserve to know – you have to go with them. We're in a situation where words can't be used to explain, and you need to see it first-hand, like I said earlier, in order to understand better. Not only that; it'll catch him off-guard."

Roxas rubs his chin in a thoughtful way. "I see what you're saying now," he says slowly. "If Ryusei comes with us, he'll be completely taken by surprise. He thinks that you're dead now, doesn't he? It's a great way to hurt his ego. Not a half-bad idea, coming from you."

"I've heard enough of those comments," Sora retorts, his voice acerbic. "Quit assuming I'm a hopeless moron."

"Hold it just one second!" I protest desperately. My head begins to pound again but I ignore it. "Let me get everything straight here! Who thinks you're dead?"

All three of them turned to me.

"The guy who's behind every bad thing that's happened to us recently," Sora says flatly. "A guy named Vanitas."

"Vanitas…" Unmistakable fear rose in my chest when I heard the name, nearly suffocating me. I can feel my skin getting cold and clammy. I'm sure I never heard the name before, but hearing it frightened me anyhow. Not just frightened – angered, too. Rage was there, burning hotly in my chest, though I wasn't sure why. I don't really know what my face started to look like, but both Roxas and Ventus have this oh-no-we-shouldn't-have expression.

"Hey, you feeling okay?" Ventus asks me in a concerned tone. I can swear I hear guilt in his voice somewhere, like whatever is ailing me right now was his fault. I couldn't see how though, since Ventus is unfailingly nice. Maybe I'm just overthinking things.

"Yeah. I'm – I'm fine," I say, hugging myself. "Just…doesn't sound like a very nice person, that's all."

They still look guilty, and I can't blame them, honestly. How were they supposed to know I would react like that?

"Don't worry about it," I try to reassure them. "I mean, it's scary enough to hear the name of someone who wants my brother dead and he nearly did kill him several times before. I'm…" I really don't know how to say this. "I guess I'm more…afraid for Sora than of Vanitas. I'm only worried." Roxas and Ventus are both giving me somewhat awed looks, and I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "I mean, isn't that normal?"

Silence hangs heavily in the air for about a minute. Then Sora speaks up unexpectedly.

"Well, that's perfectly normal," he says, looking at me with a fierce light in his eyes. "It's normal to worry about your family, but you don't need to worry about me. I'll be just fine. Go with them without concerning yourself over me."

I hesitate. "But –"

"I know you can do it, little bro. You'll be great! I believe in you. Don't forget, you have your Keyblade, too. And if you run into any trouble, then you'll have friends there who can help you out."

I blink in surprise. I'd never thought of things that way before. I didn't really think of them as friends – I'm not very well-acquainted with any of the people I've met here. But right when Sora said it like that, it felt more believable, more real.

"…Okay," I say uncertainly. "I'll – do my best, Sora."

Sora claps me on the shoulder from his position on the bed. His hand is still colder than it should be, but his old confident smile makes me feel better. He looks to Roxas and Ventus beseechingly and says, "Good luck you guys; you'll need it. And watch out for him, okay?"

"We'll keep an eye on him," Roxas assures him. "He'll be fine."

I'm a little miffed, since they were treating me like a kid that needed to be chaperoned. I guess it makes a little bit of sense, since I have no idea what I'll be walking into. But will it kill them to have at least a little bit of confidence in me? Just a little bit?

"Well, we should be going now," Ventus ventures. "We're going to need to go and see Terra. He's going to be giving us a, a whatchamacallit – a briefing before we head out. Ryusei, you should come with us. You'll need to hear it, too."

I get up reluctantly. "R-right. Got it." I look to Sora one last time imploringly, who gives me a thumbs-up.

"You'll do great," he promises me. "Good luck."

"We'll be seeing you later, Sora," Roxas says as he leaves ahead of us. "If the medics give you the okay the day after tomorrow, we'll see you at the last meeting."

Sora raises a hand in farewell. "You bet. See ya."

Sora's becoming quite the mentor to Ryusei in this fic, no? Too bad it won't last that long. **COUGHSPOILERSCOUGH**

Oh Lord, this fic is almost over. D: After pretty much over a year, this fanfiction is coming to a close! Just two chapters left!

This chapter was my hand at first-person present…yeah, I'm never doing this again. Anyway, I hope you liked this all the same…because my next fic is pretty much guaranteed to generate hate (or maybe I'm reading into it too much), but I don't care. I'm not hiding it anymore, darnit!

Sorry, I'll shut up now. Read and review, you know the drill. :P