'What made you want to find him?' Derek asked quietly from his place in the driver's seat. Jackson turned his head to look at him. Derek's eyes were fixed on the road ahead, his thumbs pressing little groves into the steering wheel. Jackson followed Derek's gaze back to the road.
'I wanted to know more about my birth mom. Allison's such a wonderful mother, and I just wanted to know if I'd been loved like Lilly was.' Jackson said as he rubbed his palms on his jeans. 'Don't get me wrong, I don't think my adoptive family didn't love me, I just think they didn't understand how to love me.' He pressed the heel of his hand into the muscle of his leg and curled his fingers.
'How do you feel now that you know?' Derek asked, breaking at a red light. He turned to look at Jackson for a moment.
'Honestly, Derek I'm shit scared I'm going to let someone down. I mean, you're family now right.' Jackson licked his lips, a habit he'd copied from Stiles. 'I don't want to let my mom's memory down either.' Jackson admitted. His throat felt raw, like he had to force the words past his lips.
'You won't. Your times are top notch. You'll pass your heats next week.' Derek said. 'I…I'm frightened that Lilly will want to meet her real daddy someday.' Derek said. There was a flush on his neck, like he didn't want to talk about the subject, but he needed to. Jackson understood how attached Derek was to the little girl. Sure he was her daddy but she was the last thing left that really belonged to his sister.
'I had a different motivation for searching for my real father. I wanted to know more about my mom. My adoptive parents could have done better in raising me. You, you're prefect. Lilly has everything she needs, food shelter and most of all love. If Lilly wants to find her real father it will be pure curiosity, but you'll always be her Daddy.' Jackson said. Jackson thought of his own adoptive father and the most recent phone call they had shared. Jackson had known about Chris then. His father had called to enquire after his sponsorship deals. Jackson was bland during the conversation and hung up feeling frustrated, as usual.
'What if she needs him though, what if I'm not enough?' Derek asked as he pulled into the driveway. Allison's face appeared at the window. She was holding Lilly in her arms. They both waved happily. Jackson waved back.
'I think you're more than enough.' Jackson said. 'Come on or I'll think my coach is soft.' They walked into the house to a barrage of information about Lilly's morning, and her painting achievements.
'Play dollies Jackson.' She demanded after a moment, dragging a doll from a tiny pram by the ankle and tossing it into Jackson's arms. 'Wind her like Harvey.' Lilly said, turning to find her own doll. Jackson looked at the tiny doll in his arms, and up to an amused Allison.
'She knows what she wants.' Allison shrugged sitting beside him and fixing the dolly in his arms. 'I knew what I wanted when I was her age too.' Allison carried on quietly. 'I wanted a brother to play with. So let's wind the doll then, I don't know, look up Barbie's skirt?' She teased. Jackson laughed and wrapped his arms around her. She smelled of strawberry and he settled his nose against her hair. Derek paused in the doorway and shot them a smile.
'Daddy loves me!' Lilly sang, skipping across the floor and launching herself into Derek's arms. He caught her with a laugh and tossed her into the air. She squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jackson wondered, if in the future he would have a kid bouncing around his feet. He used to think he'd be a bad parent, and never wanted kids.
Now he wasn't so sure, now he thought he would be able to give parenting a shot. He was planning a future, after only a few months with the Hale family Jackson's complete outlook on life had changed. Last night he'd wondered what it would be like to live with Stiles, had been curious as to where they would be in ten years. Jackson wanted to live here permanently. He'd been somehow dragged into this family and he had no intentions of fighting his way back out.
The door opened and Stiles tripped in, carrying a box of books. Lilly untangled herself from Derek and ran to him. He hugged her tight and lifted her, kissing her nose. 'I brought Harry Potter like I promised.' He told her. 'And I've got loads more books for us to read.'
'Daddy!' Lilly cried. Derek laughed as she sat on her knees, her tiny hands working through the books in the box.
'Harry Potter?' Derek raised an eyebrow. Jackson made a note to snag the book, he'd never read it himself. Perhaps it would be enjoyable.
'I'll read maybe the first three. Slowly. And we'll read other things.' Stiles defended his choice of literature. 'You were the one who wanted a good education for her. What better than uncle Stiles and his awesome fantasy collection?' Stiles grinned rocking on his feet. He pushed past Derek and bent to kiss Allison then Jackson. He threw himself into Jackson's lap, curling an arm around Jackson's neck. 'I hope your brother in law's not being a prick to you.'
'Derek loves me.' Jackson nodded. Derek snorted from the doorway and turned to Lilly.
'What have you got there?' He asked kneeling behind her. Lilly held up a book, showing it to her daddy. Derek smiled but Stiles tensed in Jackson's arms. Jackson tightened his arms and frowned at his boyfriend.
'You ok?' He whispered.
'No!' Stiles said shooting off Jackson's lap and rushing past Derek and Lilly. Derek was examining a piece of paper that had fallen from the book.
'What the hell is this?' Derek said straightening. He was in the hallway, blocking the front door. Stiles looked like a caged animal, he was trapped, and he had nowhere to run. 'Stiles?' Derek probed. 'Stiles why do you have a cheque for twenty five thousand dollars signed by my sister?' Derek's voice was gruff. His eyes locked on Stiles, pinning him to the floor. Jackson felt his mouth go dry. He looked from Stiles to Derek. He felt Allison step up behind them.
'No.' Stiles shook his head. He bolted from the hall, out the back door. Jackson raced after him, catching him by the elbow as Stiles was about to tear through the back gate.
'What the hell is going on?' Jackson demanded, checking over his shoulder for Derek. No one had followed them. Stiles looked like he'd just seen a ghost.
'I think I might have messed up big style.' Stiles said biting his bottom lip and letting his head thump onto the wooden panel behind him. 'I forgot it was even in there. I should have burned it. I never wanted it in the first place, and she knew that. She knew and she pushed at me and pushed until I was almost crazy with it but I've never done anything, other than tuck them away inside books as markers.' Stiles wasn't breathing. Jackson shook his shoulders. Stiles turned wild eyes to Jackson.
'Stiles, what the hell are you talking about?' Jackson demanded.
Stiles reached out, wrapping his arms around Jackson's neck, pulling him close and burying his face in Jackson's shirt. Jackson ran a hand over the short hair on the back of his head. Stiles was growing it out, just like Jackson had asked him to. He looked good, less of a delinquent and more mature.
'I'm Lilly's biological father.' Stiles whispered. He sounded broken. Jackson wanted to wrap him up and tuck him into his pocket. Stiles was lost, and Jackson needed to be there to guide him back. 'I'm so scared of losing them.' He muttered.
'Losing who?' Jackson asked. He ran his fingers along the inside of Stiles's collar, his lips touching skin but not kissing, just being there.
'Derek and Lilly.' Stiles said. Jackson couldn't imagine losing any of these wonderful people. The thought of not having them in his life made his heart ache. He'd guard each relationship jealously, care for it as he would an infant.
'You won't lose them.' Jackson promised. 'I won't let my family break apart just as soon as I got them.' He said, and this time he did kiss Stiles. 'Come on, you have to be brave. Let's go inside and talk to Derek before he has a hernia.'
Stiles laughed, his hands making fists in Jackson's shirt. He pulled Jackson against him, kissing him softly. 'What did I ever do to deserve someone as wonderful as you?' Stiles asked.
Jackson shrugged. 'You were you.' The words replaced the witty retort on the tip of Jacksons tongue. They seemed to fit perfectly. He wrapped his arm around Stiles and led him inside to where Derek was waiting, watching them both.
'We need to talk.' Stiles said eventually. Derek just nodded.