The Victorian was silent and perfectly dark at ten p.m. Some would say it was an early bedtime for the pawnbroker, who seemed the sort to do illicit business all night long, but Mr. Gold would be happy to shoot those people down. He had plenty of snappy arguments lined up should some stalker-ish person mention it – things like, "Have you ever tried to wake a child up in the morning when they went to sleep after ten?" or "After caring for that girl, I'm worn out by frigging eight."

OK, so maybe the arguments weren't so snappy. The point was that Alicia was finally, finally in bed – finally, finally off her sugar high – finally, finally asleep. And Mr. Gold could sink into his bed, could lose himself in the satin sheets and the soft comforter, could let his head rest on the feather-light pillow and close his tired eyes and –

"DAD-DY!"

Groaning loudly, Gold yanked himself away from the beautiful, enticing, sexy bed and trudged off down the hall. He pushed open Alicia's bedroom door and did his best to glare inside.

"What?" he said, using his best foreboding voice.

"I'm thirsty," Alicia complained. Gold stared at her for a while. Alicia stared back.

Gold turned on his heel and started to close the door.

"WAIT!" Alicia shouted. Gold leaned his forehead against the wall and resisted the urge to die.

"What, Alicia?" he barked.

"I wanna glass of pop."

"No."

"Why not?" she cried. Gold gritted his teeth and imagined pillows.

"Because you're six years old, and six-year-olds don't get sugary drinks. Also, because 'pop' is an uneducated slang word. You're supposed to call it 'carbonated beverages.'"

Alicia opened her mouth to protest, but didn't get the words out. Gold overrode her.

"ALSO," he stressed, then paused, trying to remember what the third thing had been. Poisoned apples, he was tired. "We don't have any carbonated beverages," he finished finally. Alicia's lower lip slipped into a pout.

"Then juice," she said stubbornly.

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Juice has sugar in it," Gold replied, just as stubborn. "Now go to sleep. Daddy's tired and will probably die if he doesn't find a bed soon."

"A glass of juice," Alicia bartered, "and you can have my teddy bear."

Gold almost laughed – and with him as tired as he was, it would have been the wild, unhinged cackle of Fairy Tale Land – but then he saw the teddy bear. It looked so soft, so plush.

Like a pillow.

Gold liked pillows.

"Stay here," Gold told the girl. She nodded, beaming, and Gold made his way downstairs to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and a juice carton that remained unidentified because he hadn't bothered to turn on the lights. Finally, he made his way back up and shoved the juice into Alicia's hands. He grabbed the teddy bear and turned to leave.

"Daddy?" Alicia called. Mr. Gold sighed. "Tell me a story."

"Once upon a time," said Gold tersely. He paused. "The end."

"No!"

"Yes."

"It has to have a middle," Alicia lectured him. "What's the middle?"

Gold looked down at the teddy bear, trying to imagine a story a child would like. It was so late. His imagination was absolutely shot.

"Once," he tried again, "there was a bear named Cleft-foot."

Alicia leaned forward eagerly.

"Cleft-foot was born in the fires of hell," Gold said flatly. "He wasn't born, actually, so much as he congealed from the blood and feces of other demons."

"What's feces?"

"Doodie."

"Oh."

"Cleft-foot," Gold went on, eyelids drooping and brain churning at a sluggish pace to provide the story, "had a taste for the meat of babies. So he grabbed a little girl named Ali – um, Alice, and peeled off all her skin quite painfully and roasted her."

There was a long pause.

"Well, goodnight," said Gold. This time, he actually made it out the door before Alicia called him back.

"Wait!" she wailed. "I need a night-light!"

Gold snagged a desk lamp from the hallway, plugged it in, and aimed its fluorescent bulb at Alicia's bed. He turned again.

"WAIT!" Alicia shrieked. "You didn't check my bed for monsters!"

Gold sighed, did a cursory half-bow that made it painfully obvious he couldn't see beneath the bed, and said,

"Just Cleft-foot."

"Oh," said Alicia. She considered that. "OK."

Gold turned, clutching the bear so hard his knuckles were white.

"WAIT!" Alicia screamed. This time, Gold whirled around, his face livid and his mouth twisted in a snarl as he growled,

"WHAT?"

Alicia stared at him. A vein jumped in Gold's forehead, and he slowly adjusted his stance so he wasn't quite so … predatory.

"Goodnight," Alicia told him. "Love you."

Gold sagged. He came to the side of the bed, kissed her on the forehead, and murmured, "I love you, too, dear."

She rested back against the pillows, eyes sliding shut and breathing evening out. Wearily, Gold trudged back to his room, finally falling into bed. He pulled the blankets over him out of nothing more than muscle memory, sleep coming fast.

The itching in his eyelids faded. The tension in his muscles eked away. For the first time in what felt like days, consciousness began to waver and dreams bled into his thoughts, dancing on the cusp of his brain and beckoning him forward into deep, deep sleep.

"Daddy?" said a voice beside him.

Gold jolted awake, one eye open, and stared at the little girl standing next to the bed. His gaze flickered over her, silently asking what was wrong.

"I can't sleep without my teddy bear," Alicia said.

With a deep sigh of resignation, Gold rolled over and made space for her, too tired to put her back to bed. Alicia curled up next to him with the teddy bear crushed between them.

" 'Night, Daddy," she murmured once again.

Gold hummed once, just in acknowledgement, and finally went to sleep.

A/N: This one comes from Marcie Gore's prompt: Gold tries to put a stuborn Foster Chold or kid he's babysitimg bed But she or he Keeps Askimg for Water Another story ETc.

I enjoyed it :)

Question, guys. I have another chapter already written up. Technically, it's a Sarah and Kylie chapter (you know Sarah and Kylie), but they aren't in it much as my muse decided to make it a sick!Gold fic with lots of sleep-talking. So I need to know if you guys would actually like to see that here, or if I should scrap it.

It's just not very Kid Whisperer-y :)