a/n: Hello once again loyal followers! Thanks for all your wonderful comments. And I don't mean to seem like this story is driving me batty in a bad way. Believe me, this is all in good fun, which is why I've chosen to do it. I've chosen to share it because I thought it might be fun for other people too. And it looks like for the most part I was right! Yay!
a/n: But I'm still getting impatient with these characters. They've got everything right there in front of them, but they're both too blind to see it! It's all been right there since Chapter 1 for goodness sake!
Concession
Chapter 21: A Madness Shared By Two
The Monday morning muddle began again. After her exciting weekend practically filled with kisses and cuddles, Amy had a hard time sleeping, so she finished writing her little fantasy. That one had been a little rough on her, perhaps because it hit a little too close to home. Unfortunately, she never would have had the courage to do something so bold as what she'd done in her story. Then again, she did have the courage to break out Gerard in the bathroom while Sheldon was in her apartment...
There was a knock on the lab door, which was already opened, and Amy smiled when she looked up to see her boyfriend standing there. She loved studies in the field of neuroscience more than just about anything, but comparing rodent brain analyses just didn't have enough flare to hold her attention today. So she was more than thankful for this particular distraction.
"Hello, Dr. Cooper," Amy greeted.
"Don't 'Hello, Dr. Cooper' me. Why haven't you answered any of my texts?" Sheldon asked as he stepped into the room.
Amy frowned. "Texts? I haven't gotten any texts." She walked over to her purse and fished around for her cell phone. Strangely enough, it wasn't in there. She must have left it at home. "I don't have my phone. That's why I haven't answered any of your texts."
Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Well, I wanted you to sign the list of rules regarding our relationship, but it seems that no one else has either. I've received replies ranging from the colorful phrase, 'Bite me' to the less polite phrase, 'Go fornicate with yourself'. I paraphrase, of course."
"I told you those rules wouldn't fly," Amy told him. "The only reason our friends are getting so involved in our relationship is because they care about us."
"I think they're just nosy. I mean, what kind of person just walks up to another person and asks, 'Hey, are you horny for your girlfriend'?"
Amy assumed that Sheldon was referring to laundry day when Leonard went down to talk to him.
Hearing Sheldon use the word "horny" did stir something below her waistline, however.
"What if they came to you and asked, 'Hey, are you horny for your boyfriend'?" Sheldon asked.
Amy suddenly felt a little flushed. "They don't have to ask me that. Everyone already knows the answer."
Sheldon folded his arms tightly across his chest. "I see."
(Now's the time. I have to let him know right now that he can't have it both ways,) Amy thought. (But how do I bring it up?)
"Sheldon," she began.
Her boyfriend held up his hand to stop her from saying anything else. "If you're going to ask me the same thing—"
"That's not what I was going to say," Amy told him.
"Really?" he asked, folding his arms again.
"Really. I was going to tell you that we've done a lot this past weekend. There's been a lot of touching and kissing involved. You know there's no going back from this, right?"
Sheldon hung his head and nodded. "Considering there are no restrictions in the Relationship Agreement as far as being physical is concerned, I suppose either of us could do whatever we want."
"Then why do you insist on half doing things? One minute we're all snuggly on the couch and the next minute it's like you don't want to touch me," Amy said. "Even when we were kissing yesterday, you kept backing away."
"Well, excuse me. Sometimes I need a chance to calm down," he told her quietly.
Amy raised her eyebrows. (Calm down?) "And the kiss?"
Her boyfriend sighed. "I didn't want to alarm you."
(What?) Amy thought. "Alarm me?"
"I was suffering from an offensive physiological response."
(Erection?) one of her demons asked.
(No way,) she told herself.
(What else could it be?) another demon asked.
(But from a kiss?) Amy thought.
(Of course from a kiss. You were practically melting in your panties. Why wouldn't blood shoot straight to his joystick?) yet another demon replied.
Amy sighed and shook her head. (How vulgar.)
(You've written worse,) the demon reminded her.
"Which brings me to my next topic of interest. Kolinahr. We have practice this afternoon in the same manner as last week. Had you had your phone, I would have been saved this trip," Sheldon went on.
Amy frowned. "Sheldon, this is ridiculous."
Her boyfriend raised his eyebrows and looked at her strangely. "What is? Kolinahr?"
"No. What's ridiculous is the fact that we're both having the same physiological responses to the same stimuli, yet we're not taking the next natural step."
"Are we really talking about something like this at work?"
Amy looked away. "You started it," she murmured.
Sheldon thought for a moment, then frowned. "Oh... Well, I'll see you after work."
As her boyfriend turned on his heels to leave, Amy looked at him once again and said, "Wait. Would you like to have lunch together?"
He stopped walking, but didn't turn to face her. "I thought we agreed that we wouldn't see so much of each other since we spend the entirety of our weekends together."
Maybe that invitation did make her seem needy. After all, they were spending Monday evenings together too. "You're right. I'll see you after work."
They picked up their Thai food and went to her apartment. While Sheldon went about setting out their food, Amy went to the kitchen.
"I'll make some Kool-Aid. Would you like that?" Amy asked.
"You know me so well."
(If I knew you so well, I'd have had your baby by now,) Amy thought with a little grin. She opened her cabinet to grab a couple of packets of Kool-Aid when she spotted her cell phone in there. Frowning at the phone, she pulled it out and simply looked at it. (Ooooooh. I guess I put it back in here when I finished those texts the other day. So silly.)
"What was your phone doing in there?" Sheldon asked, suddenly standing beside her.
Amy nearly jumped right out of her skin. "Sheldon! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Calm down. I wasn't purposefully being stealthy."
She sighed and placed her phone on the counter. "I'm sorry. I've been a little tense lately and I could really, really use this Kolinahr session." Then she smiled and turned to Sheldon. "You'll be happy to know that I didn't engage in self-abuse last night or this morning."
Sheldon looked away. "Alright," he said quietly.
There was no reason to hide the fact that she'd finished writing her fantasy. He knew all about them anyway. "And I had plenty of reason to, considering I finished the other story I was working on." As she spoke, she went about mixing their drink.
"I see..."
"What's wrong? I thought you'd be proud of me. This isn't easy, you know." Amy was getting a little out of hand with how much sugar she was scooping into the Kool-Aid. "You may think it's easy because you don't have the kinds of urges and desires that I do. Believe me, if you felt even half of what I feel, you probably wouldn't know how to live from day to day. I think about you all the time. I have to wonder how you feel about me or whether you ever even think about me at all. Sometimes I just don't know what to do."
Oh no! She was on the verge of tears. She took a deep breath and fanned her face with her free hand while she stirred the Kool-Aid with the other.
"I do think about you," Sheldon told her.
"You're just saying that."
"I'm not just saying that. I do think about you a lot. And I don't know if I should tell you this, but I've been...doing things I shouldn't."
Amy looked at her boyfriend, but he was staring at the pitcher she was stirring. "What do you mean?"
"I can't believe I'm about to tell you this. Please don't take it the wrong way," Sheldon said, glancing up at her for only a moment before he went back to staring at the pitcher.
"What is it?"
It was Sheldon's turn to take a deep breath. "I've thought about some of the things we've said and done and I've...masturbated in your shower a few times as a result."
(I knew it!) one of her demons cried out.
The big spoon Amy had been stirring with fell against the pitcher with a little thud. (I don't believe it... This is the first time I've ever thought about licking my shower walls.)
"Don't worry. I cleaned and disinfected everything thoroughly afterwards," Sheldon said, still looking at the pitcher.
(Dammit!) she thought. Thankfully, she had the presence of mind to ask, "Then what are we waiting for? The next step is just around the corner."
"Honestly, I'm not that comfortable with the idea of such intimate physical contact."
"Then we can work our way up to it."
"I thought that was what we were doing."
Amy sighed. "No. I mean, now that we're both comfortable with the idea that we arouse each other—"
"I don't know that I'm comfortable with that idea yet," Sheldon told her.
"Just be quiet and listen," Amy ordered. "Now that we at least know that we arouse each other, we can start trying more physical things. More kissing, more touching."
"More? That's all we did this past weekend."
(This man is going to be the death of me,) Amy said to herself. "I mean in different ways. Like kissing each other's fingers or touching each other's neck."
"I don't see what difference—" Sheldon began.
Amy grabbed Sheldon's hand and gently ran her fingers over his palm. She watched as her boyfriend's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, then he looked at her again.
"Alright. Shall I draw up a contract?"
She kept a hold of her boyfriend's hand and shook her head. "Considering there are no restrictions in the Relationship Agreement as far as being physical is concerned, either of us can do whatever we want."
"Oh, dear."
"You know, I thought about watching the first episode of season four online," Amy said as they finished off their food.
Sheldon gasped. "You can't do that. That's cheating."
"I said that I thought about it. I didn't actually do it," Amy told him.
The two of them threw away their containers, then took a seat on the couch again.
"Let me ask you something. Now that we're about to start this thing about becoming more intimate, should we continue the Kolinahr lessons?" Amy asked.
"Of course we should. It will help with our concentration and we'll be able to refer back to it if things start to go overboard."
Amy smiled. "Do you think things might 'start to go overboard'?"
"Well, according to some of the things you've told me, you have a very high sex drive for someone who's never actually engaged in the act before," Sheldon said.
She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him. "Well, according to what you just told me, you have a very high sex drive for someone who's never actually engaged in the act before. You practically scolded me for masturbating in my own home while I had a guest, yet you, the guest, masturbated in someone else's home. Several times."
In all the years she'd known him, she'd only ever actually seen Sheldon blush twice. Once was during that weird era during their first weekend together, which she now understood was the fact that she'd agreed to think about writing a "space opera" with him. The other was now.
"Why is it okay for you, but not okay for me?" Amy went on to ask.
Sheldon was quiet for a moment, then he sighed. "You're right. Neither was appropriate."
"That's the thing. I happen to think they were both very appropriate, considering the situation. Our boyfriend/girlfriend status allows for a lot of things. Extinguishing our desires in each other's apartment is one of them."
Her boyfriend gasped and looked at her, wide-eyed. "Have you been playing with yourself in my apartment?"
Amy thought about telling him that she hadn't, which was true. Then she thought about telling him that she'd been writing her erotic hopes and dreams there, which was also true. But she wondered how he would react if she had. "What if I have?"
"I would be very disappointed. When? Where?"
She could lie about this for a little while just to see what he'd say. "During laundry night, I go into your bedroom, lie on your bed and—"
Sheldon quickly covered his ears with his hands. "No more!"
Amy laughed and struggled to take Sheldon's hands away from his ears. "I'm kidding. I've never done that."
He looked at her for a moment. "You're mean," he told her.
"Sometimes. Come on. Let's get started," Amy said with a sigh.
As soon as she closed her eyes, she heard Sheldon say, "Alright." And she felt a pair of hands touch her shoulders and move slowly down her arms.
Her eyes opened wide and she looked at Sheldon for a long time. (Holy crap! What is this?! What is he doing?!) she thought. She wanted to say something, but she decided not to. Her insides quivered with excitement and she had to wonder if he thought they were starting with their intimate touches right now. She'd only been talking about Kolinahr, but she wouldn't dare stop to correct him.
After a moment, Sheldon took his hands away and cleared his throat. "That was different."
Amy nodded, unable to speak for the time being. She supposed it was her turn to touch him, so she reached up with one hand and touched his neck. Her boyfriend's eyes darted around the room, avoiding hers seemingly at all cost, but he was kind enough to lift his head a bit so she could have full access.
Her obsession with Sheldon's Adam's apple was definitely showing as she gently touched it, watching intently as it bobbed up and down each time he swallowed. (So beautiful,) she thought.
It didn't seem like she'd been observing his neck for very long, but his hand finally reached up to take hers and she had to blink back into reality.
"That was definitely different," Sheldon told her.
Amy took a deep breath and nodded. This was starting to remind her of the story she'd just written. They seemed to be taking turns touching each other. Except that they weren't just talking about it, they were actually doing it.
Sheldon held her hand up to his face and experimentally kissed one of her fingers. But when she quietly gasped, he placed her hand on her lap for her, then quickly folded his arms. "Kolinahr. I think it's about time to practice a little Kolinahr."
Even though she didn't want to stop, Kolinahr was probably a good idea.
...to be continued...
a/n: These two won't be able to keep this up for very long.
a/n: Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this short chapter. Please review and please stay tuned for the next chapter. This time I'm not in a fragile state of mind, so let me have it! (Something tells me I'm gonna regret saying that...)