What We Had

Chapter 21

Once you lose yourself

You have two choices

Find the person you used to be

Or lose that person completely.

The idea of this surgery ripping away Micah's father. Was more then I could fathom. The thought of it leaving Lucas only a shell of the person he was is heartbreaking. For Micah 's sake and everyone who loved him. Including myself. We had gone through everything possible. And it broke us apart. He retreated into himself and our relationship couldn't survive it. But that did nothing to diminish my feelings for him.

I loved this man and the thought of losing him was unbearable.

He reached across the table putting his hand on mine.

(I love you too. But you couldn't possibly understand what this is like being trapped in this body. Every day I wake up reminded that I can't walk. I am have permanent proof of the worst time in our life. I want that to be over. To let it stay in the past.) Lucas said.

(Do you remember when you first found out about your legs and you asked me to keep Micah away from you.? I did that for a few days. But after him asking for nothing but you. I bought him into your room.

I walked inside the door shutting behind me as I pictured him in you're arms. You were afraid that the sight of the wheelchair would make him not want to be near you or you would be unable to be the father you wanted to be. He wasn't scared at all. He laid his head on you're chest an and wrapped his little arms around you. His love for you never changed.) I said. Looking away. Wiping the tears that had welled up in my eyes.

(You weren't in that waiting room. Karen was a mess. Riddled with worry and fear. The last time I saw her that way was when Keith got shot. She can't go through that again. You don't understand how important you are to people. How much you matter how strongly you've loved. Take some time think about it.)

(Before you make any serious decisions.) I said. Looking up at him.

(Okay I will give it a few weeks really think things over before I decide anything.) Lucas said. Looking back at her.

I breathed a sigh of relief and looked to him.

(Thank you.) I back at him.

(I have to get to the store to check in on things. Is there anything else you want to talk about.?) I asked.

(No this was a needed talk I'll see you later.) Lucas said.

(I 'll see you after school for Micah.) I said. Leaning over hugging him close to me.

He hugged me back. Letting me from his arms minutes later.

The two separated and left the park.

...

Sometime later

(Keith it's been awhile. Since I've visited. I'm sorry for that.)

(I have no doubt in my mind that you know what's going on.)

(I can imagine what you would say.) Lucas said. Carefully placing down flowers on his grave.

...

After some time of catching Keith up on everything. Lucas left the cemetery and got into his car. And began to drive.

He drove enjoying the ride and having the ability to drive. Years of physical therapy had helped a lot. He parked into the parking lot and unlocked and opened the door. Rolling out with his wheelchair searching for Brooke's car finding it easily. Rolling over to where she was.

(Hi you're just in time.) Brooke said. Looking over at him.

(Hey and of course. I wouldn't miss this for anything.) Lucas said. Looking up at the double doors of the school.

(Momma, daddy, I missed you.!) Micah exclaimed. Running over to them.

Brooke took him in her arms hugging him tightly.

(My favorite Munchkin. How was your first day.?) Brooke asked. Letting him go from her arms.

Watching as he went over to his dad hugging him.

(My boy. Tell us everything.) Lucas said. Hugging him back. Letting him go from his arms.

(It was the best.! So fun! We had snack time, recess, naps, my teacher is so nice. We're going to have field trips and a bunch of other stuff.)

(Did you miss me.?) He asked. Looking up at his parents.

(We did you are our whole world. Yes we did.) Brooke said. Smiling up at him.

(I need you're help daddy. I have show and tell later on in the week and I want to bring something cook.) Micah said.

(I can help you with that. We're going to the cafe and get some hot chocolate cupcakes. To celebrate your first day.) Lucas said . Smiling up at him.

(Yum. Are we are all going together.?) Micah asked.

(Yes we are. The three of us.) Brooke said. Smiling up at him.

...

The family drove over to the cafe and went inside together.

Brooke found a table near the window and sat down. Lucas was close by.

Brooke went over to the counter and ordered three large hot chocolate cupcakes. With three hot chocolate drinks and went back over to the table.

Eventually the food came and they ate and talked enjoying each other 's company. After a few hours. Brooke and Lucas took Micah back to Brooke's house. He had fallen asleep in the car and the two tucked him in.

Lucas looked over at Brooke. As they made it to the end of the hallway.

(Today was wonderful. Being together as a family is what he loves the most it meant a lot that you were there. To him and to me.) Brooke said. Looking up at him.

(There is nowhere else I would rather be. Then with him and you.) Lucas said. Looking back at her.

(I have to tell you something else. I got a letter in the mail from Peyton. She apologized for everything. And told me that she's getting is coming back to town.) Lucas said. Looking to her.

(This,makes no sense she almost,killed you.!) Brooke exclaimed.

(I know but she's been a model prisoner and they feel as if she is no longer a threat to herself or others. She isn't a concern for either of us. Don't worry about that.) I said. Trying to reassure her.

...

Author's note : Thank you all for your support! Let me know you're thoughts. Review!