The surprise party had been planned very efficiently, and I say this because they had been clever enough to understand that Kakashi was never on time and had only been waiting ten minutes when we arrived.

"No excuse needed then." Kakashi murmured looking put out at this, but Gai thrust a drink into his hand (non-alcoholic) and he soon got over it.

Anko came charging over to me, and draped her arm over me casually whilst at the same time forcing me over to a table stacked with gifts. Anko then pushed my down to it and leaned in to my ear.

"You are to give me details later, no getting out of it."

I frowned as she slunk back with a sly smirk and I was handed the first gift of the night, a clock for my wall from a grinning Asuma. I laughed and thanked him, well at least they were being practical and Asuma did look so proud of himself.

I got several practical gifts like that to help me with the barren wasteland that was my apartment, but I did get a few less practical gifts plus the traditional group gift everyone pitched in for.

Kurenai had gotten me a chunin vest because the Hyuuga never accepted them, which left me bereft of one so I was more than thankful.

Anko's present wasn't there, because apparently whilst I'd been out she'd somehow managed to sneak a fridge and microwave into my home which was her and Gai's joint gift (How either of them afforded it I will never know)

Genma had even gone out to get me something, even though it was only a new set of kunai and such which every ninja got for their birthdays. It was like an unspoken tradition that somebody got you kunai and smoke bombs, you know the typical ninja stuff.

Kakashi handed me several thick books that I could devour later, but he was a fool if he thought I didn't notice the small, bright orange book he had tried to hide amongst the huge volumes. Well, it was thoughtful of him at least because I did read a lot.

I didn't even try to stand as I waited for the final gift, which was handed to me by Anko as always.

It wasn't much, but I knew with the other gifts that it really didn't have to be. The small case had in it a pair of lilac fingerless gloves and on the back was a small metal patch with the leaf symbol carved into the metal.

Up until lately I'd always worn my leaf headband tied around my arm but the fabric was a pale lilac and the colour of the Hyuuga's, something I had been told was not allowed but it seemed as though they had found some sort of loophole.

I slipped them on carefully and clenched my fists a few times, they fit exquisitely just like everything we got clothes-wise did. I thanked them all and the rest of the evening was filled with laughter and I didn't fail to notice the camera flashing from Gai's hands.

I didn't get home till late, with my gifts in bags hanging on my arms as I practically kicked my door open and strolled inside. Then I placed everything down in the kitchen, fled to the bathroom and wept.

I wasn't proud of it, I should have been happy really because it was my birthday and my friends had gone out of their ways to make me feel special knowing it would be the first time I wasn't with my family.

So I wept until my face was puffy red and then went to bed, weeping even more before I curled up in my covers like a cocoon and then fell into a fitful sleep.

I woke up with stinging eyes, which I guess was to be expected of almost three hours of sobbing the night before so I trudged to the bathroom to examine my puffy face. I poked and prodded a few times before giving it a thorough splash of cold water to little effect.

I ignored it, I didn't have a mission today so I'd just stay home and read for a bit. That way I could check out some of the novels Kakashi had given me and avoid having to face anyone.

I didn't even bother getting dressed, I just kept the baggy top and bottoms I had substituted for pyjamas grabbed a book and flopped onto my crappy little sofa. After I arranged myself so that the springs weren't digging into every inch of my skin I flipped open the book.

It wasn't a story book alas, but a piece on ancient techniques that must have cost an absolute fortune. I checked and found the other novels (bar Icha Icha) were of similar sorts.

I found a new appreciation for them, knowing that they collectively must be worth a small house.

I was just about to start reading about the chakra techniques when there was a knock at my door, followed by a curious "Shoko?"

I cursed internally but stayed where I was on my sofa, thanking every deity on the planet that I'd kept the curtains drawn because the window was right behind the sofa. Kakashi's shadow moved around a bit, before it vanished.

I held my breath for almost a minute, and stayed silent for another minute after that before I cautiously returned my attention to my book. However it was in vain.

"You're face is red."
I lurched up from the sofa and tossed the kunai I kept on the windowsill straight at Kakashi's head, but he just swayed out of the way as he leant against my kitchen worktop staring at me intently.

I stared back for several long seconds before slumping back down onto the sofa and snapping my book shut.

"Don't break into my home." I bit out at him as I placed the book on the coffee table and glared at him.

Kakashi moved over to me and lay the back of his hand against my forehead, but I knew he wouldn't find a fever because that wasn't why my face was red. He seemed to realise as much and pulled his hand away, looking down on me sternly.

"You're upset."

I couldn't help it, I laughed at him. It wasn't a nice laugh, it was actually kind of angry but I was angry and Kakashi was the unfortunate soul that would have to face that anger. Kakashi was still staring intently, like I was a code he had to crack.

"Why are you here? I don't have a mission, or any training, so what do you want?" I asked wearily as he watched me.

"I was worried."

I was too angry to be thankful for his concern or even question why he was concerned so I just kicked him once in the shin. He grunted and hauled me roughly to my feet, squeezing my arms painfully tight.

"When someone says 'I was worried'," He growled to me "kicking them, is not the correct response."

I almost kicked him again, but I kept my feet planted firmly on the ground. Kakashi was glaring at me furiously now, and there was something else in his eyes I couldn't quite place and every time I tried it flickered away again so quick I thought I must have imagined it.

"You miss them."

I guffawed "Did it take all of your massive intellect to figure that one out? Oh genius Kakashi, the Hatake prodigy."

Every word was filled with venom, I was angry at myself and angry at my family and I was taking it out on him. His eyes thinned, how far could I push him till he left me alone. Till everyone left me alone.

I'd promised myself, promised myself that I wouldn't get too involved with anyone here in case I screwed up and got them killed. In case I screwed up and got myself killed and here I was, surrounded by friends and people who genuinely cared.

I was such a fool, and yet I couldn't find the words to continue and I didn't want to.

"Stop it."

I nodded stiffly.

"I didn't mean it." I muttered despondently and I tore my gaze from his at last but he pulled my face back up.

The kiss was…unexpected.

Not the bad kind of unexpected, just…unexpected. It was chaste, and he didn't take that ruddy mask off so the fabric pulled on my dry lips but again, not in the bad kind of way.

He pulled away and for a moment I just sort of stared at him, he looked apprehensive and like a child waiting to be scorned.

"Oh for gods sake." I grunted, and went in for another.

So much for not getting involved.