harry in death battle wiv voldy

random person: choose your weapon!

holds out wand, magic staff and knife

harry: pulls out giant nutcrackerill use THIS!


hermione: Have you 2 finished your essay or brushed your teeth and have you even thought of herbology... blah blah blah

Ron and harry at the same time: Avada Kadavra

Hermione drops dead


cedric: Cho I luv you

Cho: I luv you too, well not as much as harry. what he did to me last nite should be illegal. Whoops!

Cedric: WHAT!

Voldemort pops out of nowhere and kills him

Cho: Im free

VOldemort: how you doin' ??


George: you know were twins so were kinda like clones, so say we practice certain things, it wouldnt be gay or incest, it would be masturbation.

Fred: GEORGE! ...your brilliant


Voldemort: Who needs Harry Potter?? Bring me Captain Jack Sparrow and some melted chocolate
Voldemort: Tell me how the fuck am I still alive
Ron to Herm: I should have told u from the very day I met u. Im a eunuch
Harry to Voldemort: Looks like your off the medication again
(Lupin's walking down the hall and Hagrid confronts him.)

Hagird: I saw you go into the shrieking shack last night with Sirius and the kids. There was banging and screaming and howling!

Lupin: Yeah? What's you point?

Hagird: It wasn't a full moon


Lupin: Harry, I have to tell you something.

Harry: What's that professor?

Lupin: Harry, I gay.

Harry; Are you fucking Sirius?

Lupin: Yea, that too.


Harry: Sirius, I need to ask you something.

Sirius: What is it?

sits Harry down on a chair and puts a hand on his shoulder

Sirius: You know you can tell me anything.

Harry: Well...

Sirius: What is it?

Harry: I need you to tell me about sex!

Sirius: ...


at the end of the fourth one when Harry transports out of the graveyard with Cedric's body

Death Eaters: ...

Voldy: This is totally NOT groovy!


Voldemort: Wormtail, I want you to tell me something in french.

Wormtail: Voulez vous couchez avec moi?

Voldemort: ...Oui, monsieur! Thought you'd never ask


Hermione (to Harry): I'm starting a girl band, wanna join?
Bellatrix: My Lord, I have something I want to tell you.

Voldemort: And what's that Bella?

Bellatrix: Let's make like a gun and bang.