CHAPTER 21 As Bitter as the Grave

M'gol watched T'lan helping F'lessan, letting off steam by cheerfully engaging in a water fight with him in the hot afternoon sun.

"Two miniature F'lars" he commented. "Can't be that many turns between them?"

R'gar frowned.

"Nosy as always." He said. "She has eighteen turns if you must know so she's his senior by several turns. She's good with the youngsters – knows when it's appropriate to let them muck about and when to call them to order." He grinned. "She won't tolerate thoughtless larks by the older ones either and she manages to quosh the more dangerous ideas the little idiots come up with without them taking offence. They like to please T'lan and be in her good books."

"Sounds a sensible young woman – quite a paragon."

R'gar, missing the touch of irony, tried not to look proud of his protégé and failed. M'gol began to worry.

"How much is she going to change as she grows up, I wonder?" he said. R'gar's scars twitched.

"You mean how long is it going to be before she grows out of me?" he asked. "You've learned a little tact at least."

M'gol looked embarrassed.

"It could happen" he said, half apologetically for suggesting it.

"You think I don't know?" R'gar's voice was quiet. "It's something I remind myself of from time to time; it doesn't do to get too complacent. I work on the principle that every day is to be enjoyed as it comes; the future will bring what it will bring."

M'gol groaned. His friend had got it really badly this time! Trust R'gar, who never it seemed, fell for a woman without that he fell hard. Why he couldn't just enjoy women M'gol could not fathom! This appeared to be much worse than the Sagally thing; R'gar needed pumping to speak about this T'lan child. The less R'gar said, the more he felt, if he hadn't changed much.

R'gar gave M'gol a jaundiced look.

"And I take it that you're warning me off Talana as well." He said. M'gol shook his head.

"No-o" he said. "Sagally – I recognised the type. This youngling of yours seems to be an original and for all I know it might well work out just fine. Only…"

"Don't make a fool of myself over a girl almost young enough to be my daughter?" asked R'gar as he paused. "It's too late for that advice, M'gol." He added, "But you're right about her being an original – I was wondering if you were making the mistake of judging her against other girls you've known. But even the dragons marked her out as different; and you can blame Laranth for the T'lan contraction. He hung that on her before she even Impressed. It's why she likes it."

oOoOo

F'lar was pleased to find that F'lessan and Talana were already on friendly terms – he concluded that they must be from their damp and dishevelled appearance. He greeted R'gar formally, wondering what had brought the High Reaches Weyrlingmaster to Benden; and asked after Mirrith's clutch.

Talana's face lit up and she grinned at him.

"They're doing very well. They're a little on the small side especially compared to Benden-bred but they're healthy and they're more agile than Oldtimer dragons of the same size, Pilgra reckons." He nodded approvingly.

"And she's not risen since?"

"No, she certainly doesn't seem to have an excessive appetite."

F'lar nodded again and smiled at her.

"So who's going to fly her next time?" he teased. Talana looked surprised.

"Why, Laranth of course."

"Mirrith's choice?"

"She wouldn't let him fly anyone else, even Greens." She grinned. Ramoth's voice intruded,

"And why should she? The young one is quite right." Talana chuckled, and so did F'lar as Mnementh relayed his mate's comment. F'lar wondered how he could tactfully say in front of – of –Laranth's rider – that she need not stick to the rider of her dragon's choice between whiles; but Mnementh told him,

"Mirrith's rider and Laranth's rider are together." And he found himself being regarded askance by his daughter.

"And quite happy about it thank you." She said.

"And why not?" asked Ramoth. "F'lar would not consider suggesting such a thing to you, Lessa."

"Quite right too." Said Lessa tartly, appearing from behind Ramoth. "They do worry, don't they, T'lan!" Talana grinned.

"I'm missing something here." Said R'gar. "F'lar, shall we untalented males who miss out on half the conversation address instead some of the excellent wine for which Benden is so well known?"

Talana and Lessa shared a look.

"Yes; we could celebrate." Said the Benden Weyrwoman. Talana looked at her with awed respect.

"Huh?" asked F'lar.

"Your prospective grandchild" revealed Lessa smugly. F'lar's jaw dropped. "When are you due, child?" she asked.

"I am about half way through." T'lan told her. She turned and smiled at R'gar, revealing her love for him to the Weyrleaders. "We're going to call him Rogan."

F'lessan, who had been eavesdropping, turned a somersault.

"I'm going to be an uncle!" he cried. "That beats any of the other chaps!"

oOoOo

Although Talana had been to a number of hatchings from Segrith's and Ralenth's clutches as well as the last of Ramoth's and Mirrith's own, the experience never palled. As always it was over too quickly, and Talana sighed with happiness and disappointment that it could not have lasted longer. She had enjoyed her stay at Benden Weyr and was glad that R'gar had been reunited with his friend; but she was glad to be returning home to her fosterlings.

Sagarra threw herself on both R'gar and Talana in turn, news of a dozen daily doings tumbling from her lips. Gravely R'gar and Talana listened and she hugged Talana again to feel her prospective sibling moving. Affectionately she patted Talana's belly.

"He's jumping about a lot, isn't he?" she said. "You're starting to get fat too, T'lan. I never noticed Her getting fat but of course I was very young then and I didn't realise how babies grew." Talana smiled down at her, ruffling her mop of dark hair.

"It would be more convenient if we could lay eggs like dragons rather than getting fat, wouldn't it." She smiled; and Sagarra giggled.

oOoOo

Tyrin was predictably entertaining a group of young weyrlings by playing the ballad of Moreta's Ride on an improvised instrument consisting of beakers with varying amounts of water in them. He bashed out the melody enthusiastically and surprisingly tunefully, and his ability and willingness to perform on various makeshift instruments earned him the popularity of his peer group and acceptance into the ranks of the weyrlings despite not having Impressed. Talana had already determined to purchase some good instruments for him next time there was a Gather at which the Harpercraft Hall was represented. As Talana and Mirrith glided in by the weyrling barracks he finished the end of the stanza with a flourish of his drumsticks and strolled nonchalantly over.

"Hiya T'lan." His voice was offhand, pretending indifference in front of his companions. "How was the hatching?"

"Fine" Talana told him, understanding his reluctance to show too much feeling towards his young foster mother. "I'll take you another time. F'lessan'd like to meet you."

Tyrin and Sharilla knew that Talana was related to F'lar though she had not been specific and it was tacitly agreed that no-one mentioned it. Tyrin looked pleased, then pulled a face.

"He's Impressed though." He said.

"So? I daresay you will sometime. Meanwhile, he wants to hear some of your tunes."

Tyrin scowled. He didn't advertise the fact that he made up his own tunes; it embarrassed him. Only his best friend R'ben who had Impressed a Brown dragon knew. Talana said hastily,

"You know all the ballads already, much better than me."

Tyrin forgave her the slip, and started showing off by whistling Menolly's latest tune, indicating to R'ben to take the beat.

oOoOo

Spring slipped into summer and it seemed to Tyrin and Sh'rilla that they had always been at the Weyr and that R'gar, T'lan and Sagarra had always been their family. They spent long days together as a family when they could between Threadfall, and one day before Talana entered the final danger period of pregnancy, they flew to Benden. Daenilth was a little put out; and Sh'rilla and Talana returned after only the briefest of visits for this reason, while the little queen slept in her newly constructed ground floor weyr. R'gar stayed on cementing his friendship with M'gol over Benden red, while F'lessan led Tyrin and Sagarra into such parts of Benden's old passageways that were not now off limits.

As Talana swelled, Pilgra gave help and advice – not always welcome, but Talana appreciated her kindness; but she did put her foot down over the matter of fostering.

"Pilgra, I like being part of a family. It's special to me, and it's special to my fosterlings. Everyone says I'm crazy anyway; so that's that."

Talana had managed to acquire the use of a low weyr next to R'gar's when the elderly occupant gratefully accepted a post as a messenger at Igen. She persuaded Masterminer Nicat to give her advice and aid, and had soon (With Mirrith's enthusiastic help) enlarged it to suit the little queen and run an access tunnel to R'gar's weyr. Sagarra was established in the cubby-hole Talana had first occupied; and that she often crept up to sleep next to Laranth amused the adults who were pleased that she could feel that she had a protector in the big Bronze.

Tyrin stayed mostly with the weyrlings, although he also spent a lot of time going off on his own. Neither R'gar nor T'lan worried unduly; the lad knew how to take care of himself and was like them a loner. Neither even considered trying to make him 'fit in' better; and the boy appreciated it. He reflected that that was why he liked them so much; they let a fellow be without interference, not like some of the people he and Sharilla had stayed with. Tyrin had not felt so happy, he thought, since before the fever when Sharilla had been as fit as he and they had roamed for miles together. He had cut pipes from river withies and played for her while she sang. Of course he still missed his parents achingly, but he felt that his father would have approved of R'gar. The dragonman was more externally forbidding than his kind loving father, but his single eye twinkled in much the same way when he was amused. Tyrin felt grateful to R'gar for accepting him and Sharilla for the way they were. True, he was a hard taskmaster, and Tyrin often grumbled at the hours he spent copying teaching scrolls; but he realised that he was learning a lot. When he found out that this had once been T'lan's special job and not one R'gar let any weyrling loose on he set to with a lot more enthusiasm, though he enjoyed more running errands all around the weyr and finding out all that was happening. He had teamed up with K'len in this as well as enlisting the good-natured R'ben – although he did not always share with his companions everything he had heard preferring to keep some knowledge private – and at times came to fisticuffs if the subject under discussion was his adopted family!

Tyrin was not entirely sure of his feelings towards R'gar's friend M'gol. He visited High Reaches from time to time and seemed amused and surprised at what Tyrin heard him refer to as 'R'gar's waifs and strays'. He also seemed to spend a lot of time watching T'lan rather narrowly; and Tyrin, who classed her with Sh'rilla as 'adored elder sister' resented this. He could not know that M'gol was only concerned about his friend getting hurt and was watching for signs in Talana that might indicate she intended throwing the Weyrlingmaster over for someone else. M'gol liked and respected Talana and did not think she would hurt R'gar on purpose, but was afraid in her youth she might inadvertently cause him heartache and wanted to be around to pick up the pieces. Tyrin knew none of this and took to glowering at M'gol whenever he saw him watching T'lan. M'gol, noticing, asked,

"Anything on your mind, son?"

Tyrin scowled.

"I'm not your son. I only let R'gar call me that."

M'gol raised amused eyebrows which incensed the boy more.

"Well I'm sure I'm very sorry." He said. "Consider the question suitably modified – anything on your mind?"

"You keep staring at T'lan like that." Growled Tyrin.

M'gol laughed, trying to pass it off easily.

"Why, she's worth looking at" he said. "Don't you think so?"

Tyrin looked at him scathingly.

"Oh – sex.!" He said scornfully. "Well I c'n tell you now it's no point bothering. She's R'gar's mate. And if you were really his friend you'd damn well remember that."

"I'll bear it in mind." M'gol said. Tyrin had a suspicion he was being laughed at but wasn't sure why. He decided to warn R'gar of his so – called friend's interest.

R'gar listened gravely. He thought he knew what M'gol's intentions were but he appreciated Tyrin's concern. He debated explaining to Tyrin; but felt that the boy was too young to appreciate the complications involved. He said,

"M'gol just likes looking at pretty girls, and he was joshing you because he reckoned you might too. He means no harm; he's been my friend since I was born."

Tyrin was not entirely sure that he was convinced; but he figured that R'gar ought to know his friend. But he resolved to keep half an eye on M'gol anyway.

R'gar considered tackling M'gol; but he knew his friend's motives were of the best, and while Talana was not bothered by it there seemed little point.

oOoOo

Talana was unaware of M'gol's scrutiny, busy as she was caring for her little family. She could have wished that R'cal might have visited; but the man evidently needed more time. Perhaps he'd come and see the baby. She spent a lot of time with Sh'rilla too, though the girl was becoming more and more independent. A good diet gave her greater strength than she had had and as Daenilth grew, she required less done for her. T'kil was a virtual resident and Talana was glad. She felt very responsible for her disabled friend, but in a month or two she'd have her hands full of baby. At times she was afraid she had bitten off more than she could chew, but R'gar's support reassured her. She applied herself to her duties, proving to Pilgra that she could more than cope.

"All right, I give in!" laughed Pilgra, as she strode out early one morning on her way to fight Thread and found Talana and Mirrith already waiting. She pulled her wher-hide jacket close around her in the still-cold morning. "Remember that we'll sweep in to join with Fort Weyr this morning when we pass across the Tillek – Ruatha border." She reminded Talana. "And we'll be helping to fight across Ruatha as Fort are low on numbers at the moment. It's a long fly straight with Thread all the way. Are you sure you'll be alright?"

Talana nodded. There had been several casualties at Fort Weyr in the last Threadfall, which had been heavier than anticipated; several youngsters had panicked and there had been more injured than should have been. Talana felt that under the circumstances, dropping out for something as trivial as an aching back - which would be no better for not flying anyway – would be unforgivable.

oOoOo

Pilgra grinned to hear Talana quietly admonish some of the young riders who boasted that they weren't scared of Thread like the wimps at Fort. Talana said sharply,

"Then you should be."

The boys fell silent, surprised. T'lan had gained a reputation for being ice cold in Threadfall, a legacy of her desire to prove herself despite being a girl. Talana continued,

"Anyone with an ounce of sanity is scared halfway to between by Thread; and anyone who isn't deserves to die threadbared for being too cocky and getting caught unaware. Only his dragon doesn't deserve that. A little healthy respect for the fardling stuff makes for a better fighter and don't you ever forget it."

K'len asked,

"Are YOU scared then?"

"Of course, all the time." She said calmly. "But you can't let it affect you; and after a while you're to fardling busy to notice."

"Well" said K'len "If you're prepared to admit it, I guess I am too." He glared around. "Doesn't stop me going and doing though." He added.

oOoOo

As thread fell, the repellent grey wriggling sheet ominous and frightening, Talana smiled grimly to herself remembering the conversation as they approached the leading edge, relieving the first wing which had flown Between to cover the first approach. The queen's wing, some veterans and the youngest riders were escorting the fall to the point at which they joined with Fort Weyr, flying the shorter period. First wing riders were expected to join them after a brief rest and some hot klah to continue the sweep across Ruatha and the youngest – those who were flying for the first time – would then retire. She hoped that her little speech would encourage them not to take foolish risks to show their 'bravery' – that attitude had contributed to Fort's problem, initial brashness frightened into a panic. They should be meeting with Fort before much longer, she thought, automatically searing a mass of seething grey Thread.

Talana picked up the minds of the approaching dragons before she saw them; and smoothly co-ordinated the two groups into a single fighting force. There was a moment's "OH" from N'ton as Lioth blandly informed him that co-ordination had occurred; but Thread fell too heavily for superfluous conversation. Talana was not overjoyed to catch sight of Tamalenth bearing Lirilly, especially as the pair were out of formation on her left flank. She sent a corrected position to Tamalenth and emphasised by pointing. Lirilly urged Tamalenth the wrong way, towards Talana and Mirrith, and shouted,

"You think you're so clever I suppose, speaking to dragons."

"Shut up and fight Thread" called Talana exasperated. Lirilly didn't budge.

"Sly, two faced bitch. You waited 'til my back was turned to steal Sh'len from me."

Talana heaved a sigh of exasperation.

"You're crazy" she yelled. "I don't want Sh'len. And if you want to discuss it wait until we've landed. We've a job to do." She charred the Thread in front of her, and with a neat wingover from Mirrith, caught a patch in the sector Lirilly should have been covering. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the junior weyrwoman fumbling with her fighting straps. Shards, whatever was the girl up to? Talana gritted her teeth as she spread the line of coverage to take on Lirilly's sector and resolved to have words with her later.

Lirilly leaned over, freed from the constraint of the fighting straps, aiming the flamethrower. She had been shunned by many people for her behaviour at High Reaches and her simmering hatred for Talana brewed over into near insanity. She pulled the release toggle on the flamethrower.

Talana 'heard' the intention just in time and threw up her arm to protect her face. Mirrith backwinged and the worst of the blast from the stream of fire flew past Talana into the air.

oOoOo

Laranth bellowed in anger and started to lumber out onto the ledge of his weyr projecting anger and fear. R'gar took a flying leap from the ledge at the entrance to his room and landed safely on the muscular bronze neck seconds before the great dragon launched himself out of the weyr and into the sky.

"Whoa, old fellow, what is it?" R'gar shouted. Laranth bellowed again.

"She flames T'lan and Mirrith. T'lan hurts"

R'gar swore pungently.

"Who flames?" he asked.

"Tamalenth's rider." Laranth replied. "She falls!" he said, suddenly transferring between before R'gar could ask which 'she' he meant.

oOoOo

Talana retched from the pain and from nausea as Mirrith backwinged, and a sharp pain shot through her guts. Mirrith corrected, but her wingtip caught Lirilly, who was still leaning sideways. The girl was knocked from Tamalenth's neck, and with a startled cry scrabbled desperately for a handhold, dropping the flamethrower as she tried to get a secure handhold on the straps. Through the fog of pain, Talana saw that she was not going to make it. Somehow she managed to shoot out a hand and grab the other girl's wrist as her fingers slid despairingly from the smooth leather; and held her with a grip of sheer spasmodic horror.

"Drop, Mirrith!" she gasped, and Mirrith folded her wings to plummet downwards, giving Talana and her burden a moment's weightlessness in which she heaved the terrified Lirilly over Mirrith's neck like a sack of firestone. The stomach-wrenching jerk as Mirrith pulled out of the dive was too much for Talana, and blackness engulfed her.

oOoOo

Laranth appeared over the rugged western mountains that divided Ruatha from Tillek

"Mirrith goes between" he informed R'gar. For a heart stopping moment, R'gar wondered if Talana had died and Mirrith had suicided: but there was no keen from the dragons which would have indicated the passing of one of their kind.

"Where to?" he asked. Laranth said,

"She goes to find the Healer Hall. Tamalenth gave her co-ordinates."

"I'd like to skin Lirilly." R'gar said grimly. "Where is she? I don't see her on Tamalenth"

"She fell. I told you." Laranth sounded as though he was being patient with an effort. "T'lan caught her" he explained, answering the unasked question as R'gar looked doubtfully at the rocky scenery below them. He added suddenly, "Mirrith is worried. she says T'lan hurts badly. I come Mirrith!"

Laranth was between again, before R'gar had a chance to draw breath, and emerged above Fort Hold with R'gar shivering violently and wishing he had a jacket. Fortunately the warmth of the mid morning sun chased most of the cold of between from his bones as they landed on the dancing green where Mirrith was creeling as unhappily as a new dragonet with her burden of two unconscious girls handlocked on her neck.