Chapter 20
Leia felt the blaster recoil as a volley of red shot across the digitally displayed holofield. The majority of the bolts blasted into the holographic targets. She lowered the blaster and looked at the vaguely-looking stormtroopers of the holograph. She had sent out fifteen shots. Only two were proper kill shots. Ten were debilitating shots. While the others were misses or grazes.
Leia rolled her shoulders in an effort to ease the frustration that was building in her. She knew getting frustrated wasn't helping, but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to be seen as useless again. She had taken it upon herself to practice her blaster skill sin the Alliance's Training and Practice Wing. She was currently using a shooting simulator.
She had also started to learn basic combat skills from classes taught to new recruits. She liked to think herself fit, growing up on a moisture farmer. However, it appeared fighting used muscles she wasn't aware she had. Her sore body was a living testament to how demanding the classes had been.
Yet, Leia felt satisfied. She didn't want to be regulated to wait on the ship waiting for everyone else again. However progress was going slow on her combat skills. She reminded herself it had barely been a week since Cymoon 1. Luke had left five standard days ago. She chided herself if she thought a few days would bring herself to mastery, but she couldn't help it. She felt like she had a long way to go. A long way to catch up with Luke, a dark thought whispered inside her.
Leia pressed the buttons to her right to change the targeting program. She brought up the blaster as the holographs of the troopers appeared. This simulation was more active combat. This time the troopers were running, kneeling, some even jumping down from above. She knew a current weakness of hers was shifting her aim from one target to another, especially when the targets were moving. She knew it was an important skill to master for actual battle.
The program finished and the last blue hologram trooper faded out. She stepped out of the simulator. She glanced down the row of simulators, all battle simulators like the one she had been in. The place was generally empty. A few other Alliance members wearing their gray fatigues were in the large room.
Leia took a walk to the end of the large room and turned. She figured getting out the simulation and walking about would be a nice break. But now she was ready to do another simulation. She made her way back to the simulator she had been using, but noticed someone was in there. She was about to turn to find an empty pod, but then the figure turned around. She was surprised to see it was her mother.
"Mom?" Leia asked clearly taken aback. Padmé no longer wore her Tatooine garb. Instead she wore a light brown jumpsuit with a black belt. She wore a purple vest and tall boots. Her hair was pulled into a large bun behind her head with a spiral braid twisting from ear to ear.
"Is it that much of a change?" Padmé asked.
"You look good. It's different, but good," Leia replied.
Padmé smiled at Leia, but Leia could tell her mother still felt a bit uncomfortable. Leia had been surprised by her mother's change after the Cymoon mission. When the Millennium Falcon landed on Home One, Padmé had been there in the hangar waiting. She had helped Leia bring Luke to the med bay.
Yet not once had Padmé been angry or accusing towards either child. She asked each twin if they were all right. Then insisted they rest and eat. Padmé never asked about why Leia never told her mother that she had joined the Alliance or why both Luke and Leia had left on a mission without informing their mother. Padmé hadn't lectured the twins on how dangerous the mission had been. How careless it had been to do such a reckless thing. How they weren't hiding.
Padmé glanced over her shoulder. Leia's results were being displayed. "You want some advice?" Padmé asked. Leia couldn't stop the small scoff that escaped her lips. "Oh? Think I don't know my way around a blaster?" Padmé chided. Leia knew her mother often carried a small blaster with her when she went on translating jobs, but Leia had never seen her mother practice or use the gun.
Padmé picked up the practice blaster. She pressed the controls for the simulation to start. It was the same program Leia had just run through. However, Padmé went through it with ease. She wasted no shots. Her shots were either clean one-shot kills or three or four kill shots. A few times she shot the legs of a trooper, to bring them down before finishing the holograph off. There were no shots that only grazed a trooper or went wildly off mark. The program finished. The older woman smiled at her daughter. Leia was quiet, finding herself a bit a loss for words.
"You should try some dry practice," Padmé explained. "It simply allows you to practice pulling the trigger on the blaster without all that distracting flash and bang. It's a way to train your eyes, body, and trigger finger to pull the trigger smoothly, without moving your eyes off the target. The real benefit is that you can do all this without that instinctive flinch when the blaster normally goes off. You condition yourself to perform a smooth trigger press, without a flinch reaction. Eventually you'll find you can do the same with the blaster turned on to normal fire."
Padmé fiddled with the practice blaster before handing it to Leia. Padmé then turned back to the controls and brought up a different simulation. It was a beginner level, where the troopers didn't move but the holographs would fade and filter out to new ones after a few seconds. Padmé turned to Leia, smiled, and nodded. Leia practiced several rounds of dry practice, while Padmé quietly stood by. Every now and then she'd give some advice such as how to hold her elbow or to watch the angle of her wrist or to drop her weight into her waist.
On the last round of practicing, Leia turned the blaster's practice fire back on. She continued on the beginner level, but found she had already improved from earlier. It was her best run yet. Leia was feeling good about her progress. The mother and daughter left the simulator and went to dinner in the mess hall. The two found a quiet table.
"Mom," Leia said, "Thanks for earlier. Do- do you think you could come with me to the battle simulator again?"
"If there is time," Padmé answered.
"If there is time?" Leia asked. "What else are doing?" The month after the Battle of Yavin, Padmé had barely left her bunk. She usually spent her days laying listless in her bed. Though after Cymoon it did appear her mother had been more active. She seemed to be going out of her room more. Leia felt a wave of guilt and shame hit her as she realized she had been too caught up with her own obsession to train. She hadn't been paying attention to her mother.
"Leia I want our family to be truthful with each other," Padmé started. "It pains me that you and your brother aren't honest with me." Leia felt a tightness in her chest. "But I can't complain that much. Our whole family has been built on lies. Well perhaps not outright lies, but lies by omission of truth. I, of course, have been no role model for being completely honest."
"That's not true," Leia said. "You told Luke and I about . . . Darth Vader."
For a brief flicker, Padmé's face was that of deep sorrow and pain. Leia recognized it whenever her mother thought of her father or Darth Vader. However, it quickly eased away.
"I never told my family or friends about my marriage or pregnancy." Padmé's voice was soft but pained. "I wasn't lying about it, as no one outright asked me about it. Yet, I never revealed the truth. Your father was the same with the Jedi Order. I want to change that, Leia. I want to be more honest with you. More open with you. And Luke. Neither of you are children anymore. You two are clearly now capable of making your own decisions. As you should. I must sadly admit you two have grown up."
Leia wasn't quite sure how to respond. "I'm going to start right now," Padmé said. "I've also joined the Alliance."
Leia felt her breath catch in her throat. "You . . . you what?" Leia said finally finding words. "What are you going to be doing? Translating?"
"No, I will be working in a more diplomatic role. I already have my first mission. I leave tomorrow. Thus the new clothes."
"A mission? Doing what? Going where?"
"In the Kathol sector, Brolsam system, Outer Rim" Padmé explained. "I'm going to help organize relief efforts. The Alliance has been offering aid to the system, but the aid effort hasn't been properly managed. Not everyone is getting the aid they need. Mon Mothma wants me to go and help organize the relief effort while keeping all parties involved happy."
Leia was quiet. She was having a hard time grasping the situation. She had always known her mother as the one to shy away from being in the lead. She hated having to dominate and be overpowering on translating jobs. Padmé always lived by her mantra: Blend in. Don't attract attention. Stay hidden. Who was this person sitting across from Leia?
"Are sure this is what you want to do?" Leia asked her mother. "Join the Alliance?"
Padmé paused, as if contemplating Leia's words. "Honestly? I'm not completely sure. If I could choose any action at this moment, it would be to whisk you and Luke away. Go hide somewhere beyond the reach of the Empire and the Alliance. Yet . . . that would be selfish of me. What I do know is that everything I've done these past nineteen years has been for you and Luke. All the hiding. All the sacrifices. The deaths. I'm not about to let that all be for nothing.
"I can't support you two by hiding, so if that means I must join the Alliance to be by your sides so be it. Leia, I will do anything to protect you and brother. To keep you safe, especially from the Empire." Padmé leaned over. Her next words were soft, meant only for Leia. "And from him."