Ch. 21

We will be laughing at the expense of Selena today. I know, we're all mean.

Disclaimer: Does anyone actually think that I own Eragon or Seinfeld? If you still do, you really have to stop smoking whatever you're smoking.

1. She stayed with the so many-times mentioned drunken, girlfriend-beating, sword-chucker for six years.

2. She did it with Morzan!

3. Morzan is older than the guy who is really fricking old, so old in fact you really wouldn't believe it.

4. She probably did it with the guy who was really fricking old, so old in fact you really wouldn't believe it.

5. Paolini mentions her about four times in two books.

6. She gave birth to a hot-yet-crazy rider and a hormonal, dragon-riding twit.

7. She didn't take Morzan away when she ran away with Eragon.

8. She married a guy who was really bad at recognizing pregnancy.

9. She is the aunt of a hormonal, dragon-less teen with zero magic.

10. Paolini depicts her as a whore.

11. She went back to Morzan after she left Eragon with her brother and sister-in-law.

12. She was ashamed of being pregnant with Eragon. (Sedoras and I don't blame her though.)

13. She didn't tell Garrow that Brom was really Eragon's father.

14. So she let her said second son live thinking his father is drunken, sword-chucking, girlfriend-beater.

15. She is yet another deserving of the title Lady of the Idiots.

16. She's a real-live Carvahall idiot.

17. She was on the run and didn't even bother to change her good clothes.

18. She was making it easier for her drunken, sword-chucking, abusive boyfriend to find her by doing that.

19. I don't think she even married him.

20. She completely forgot all the things Morzan did to the riders of old and followed him because he did something remotely nice for her.

21. She went back to her not-too-bright brother with anger issues to have a kid.

22. She didn't bother to stay with her not-too-bright brother with anger issues even though he was brighter and less temperamental than her boyfriend.

23. She no doubt gave Eragon his obliviousness.

24. If she didn't, she slept with the guy who gave him it.

25. She definitely slept with the guy who gave Murtagh his craziness.

26. She slept with a toady's toad.

27. She died because she wouldn't just stay with her brother until she got better.

28. Callernumber16onz100 says she must be proven lame.

29. I agree.

30. Almost everybody wanted me to prove her lame this chapter.

31. She slept with the guy with so many nicknames.

Here is the production of Selena's Story by: Alsdssg.

Selena: Oh s---! I dropped my insert meaningless object of your own choosing

Morzan: Oh, here it is.

Selena: Ohmigod! You're so hot! I'll follow you everywhere.

Morzan: Okay. thinks That was just too easy.

Selena: Let's sleep together.

Morzan: Awesome. Hey, Galby, check out my new tool.

Galby: Okay. I won't tell the other Foresworn.

Selena: Ohmigod! I'm gonna learn magic.

Morzan: Yeah, dawg.

Selena: Ohmigod! I'm pregnant.

Morzan: Not cool, dawg. hits Selena

Selena: Why did you hit me? What are you: a Foresworn? gives birth to Murtagh I think I'll name him Bob.

Morzan: I was thinkin', more along the lines of Murtagh.

Selena: Sure.

Morzan: Yeah, uh, you can only see your kid once a month.

Selena: Okay.

Morzan: gets drunk

Murtagh: gets in the way

Morzan: Dawg, why ya bein' a hata? chucks sword at Murtagh

Selena: Why must you do these things?

Morzan: I'm Foresworn, yo.

Selena: Ohmigod! That's it! I'm sleeping with the really fricking, old guy! gets pregnant again Murtagh, mommy's gonna have to go now. I'm gonna have to leave you with him.

Murtagh: What yo?

Selena: Ohmigod! You sound like him! leaves Garrow, I'm pregnant!

Garrow: Okay.

Selena: gives birth to Eragon Ohmigod! I've gotta leave! skips town I'm back. Where's Morzan?

Random person: Rumor has it, he's hunting for an egg stolen by a really, fricking old guy and a seriously lame scholar.

Selena: Ohmigod! dies

That's the end of that chapter. Here are the review responses.

Rotem: You got your wish.

Dreamless Wind: I might do Angela. Thanks for number 23.

DragonRider2000: Thanks. You'll see what the others will be like later.

Ebz: I'm glad you're glad that I responded to your review. A Sue is an unrealistic, perfect character who everyone hates because they are usually annoyingly superior. I'm glad you liked the gangsta bit.

Cheesy Goodness: Yes, it is.

Soul of Power ROCKS OUT LOUD: Well, they're all getting done. I just wanna know whom you want done next.

Sedoras: I love Gollum and Gandalf, and I think you are a wonderfully creative reviewer. Thanks for numbers 2-4 and 10.

WeepingWillowleaf: I'm glad you liked this fic and it answers one of your desires. Thanks for number 15.

CallerNumber16onz100: Thanks for number 28.

KrazyKiwigilr27: Thanks for number 5.

Here's the ballot for the next chapter:

A. Ajihod

B. Varden

C. Angela

D. Nasuada