Johana and Rosiekin, thanks for wishing me luck. I just got an A in Microorganism and it isn't an easy A ;)

Stand Slam (LOL) Christian cares far more about his reputation than Elena cares about her. She is the desperate one here so she thinks if she goes down she will take him down with her. Got nothing more to lose and all that crap. And I totally understand your anonymous, let me know when you do post some stories. Looking forward to it!

Hanouna, I will try to work on it ;)

Sesshomura'slover, yes he will. Eventually.

This chapter wasn't real fun for me to write. I feel bad for CG *Pouty*

CPOV:

Thankfully Elena decided to put her dress back on. I have to remember to ask Mrs. Jones to disinfect the entire room after this bitch is gone. Suddenly I remember that my brother is sleeping here tonight. I close my eyes in frustration. She could have chosen any other day for this stupid conversation. Not only do I have my brother a few doors away but also my head is still spinning with thoughts after the moment I had with Anastasia and I have so much things to sort out and think of instead of having to talk to this woman. Rolling my eyes, I pull my cell out and dial Taylor. Realizing that I just rolled my eyes reminded me of Anastasia and causes my lips to twitch fighting a smile. Damn you, beautiful girl. Miles away and still possessing my mind. Taylor picks up on the second ring.

"Yes, Sir. Is everything alright, Sir?" No, everything is not fucking alright. There has been a security misstep and someone will get fired for it but I don't want to talk about that now.

"Is my brother in bed?" I ask shortly ignoring his question.

"Yes, Sir"

"Is he still passed out?"

"Out cold, Sir"

"Lock the door on him from the outside and leave the keys in my office" I order.

"Yes, Sir" He trails off and his tone suggest that he wants to question my weird demand but he isn't going to unless I let him and right now I sure as hell not going to let him. I hung up and finally turn to face the devil. She is seated on the edge of the bed with her legs crossed and her head high like she hasn't just been rejected. Typical Elena.

"You wanted to talk" I state. My tone isn't questioning but unnerving.

"Yes" She nods her head but looks like she doesn't know where to start. I am so going to win this.

"We can start with the fact that you are fucking Collin Fells" I suggest causally but internally I am nothing but causal. I am boiling with anger and hatred.

"Jealous?" She smirks and I almost want to laugh. Almost.

"Repelled. That is more like it" I tilt my head with coolness that surprises me. Considering I want to chock the living shit out of her.

"Well, I am not now. Not anymore. I think he is in some sort of a summer camp now" She waves her hand in a dismissing manner and the move makes me even madder. She couldn't care less about the boy and he is probably still pinning over her across the sea.

"He is in Spain. Will spend at least a year there" I will be a shit lair if I said I didn't enjoy the shocked look on her face.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I arranged it" I add with a smug smile and I watch as her face turns red with anger. Yep, let her get unbalanced.

"What are you trying to do? Start a war against me?" She yells uncrossing her legs and gripping the edge of the bed with her hands in anger. "Is that all because of her?" Not again. I have to get this under control.

"Listen to me carefully for your own good" I lean forward with my forearm rested on knees. My eyes heavy and my tone dead serious. She inhales a deep breath and stares at me. "There are rules for this conversation" I state holding up my hand. "One, don't raise your voice because it hurts my ear drums" I count on my thumb one. "Two, don't try to imply that I feel anything toward you but hatred" I count on my index finger two. "Three, don't speak of Anastasia, ever. Is that understood?" I stare at her through my three raised fingers.

"Christian…" She starts but I cut her off. Here is a new rule to add.

"Four, don't address me by my first name. Now answer my question. Is that understood?" That is my Dom voice and she knows it. She knows I am not fooling around.

"Yes. Now can you answer mine?" She finally gets her tone mono and under control.

"I am trying to protect a fifteen year old boy from the same misery you brought on me" I answer simply.

"I brought you misery? You call the state you are in now misery?" She looks offended. "You are a fucking billionaire, a successful young businessman. A Dom. In control of your whole universe" She eyes me up and down and I see her eyes darken in want and it makes me sick. "I saved you! I made you!" Oh, Hell No! Is she seriously trying to take credit for everything I have ever achieved? Fucking bitch, no one made me.

"I owe you nothing! Yes, you gave me the money I started my company with but it was a loan and you got it back and more!" I am losing grip on my control again. "If it wasn't me, this money of yours wouldn't have turned into millions! As for the misery. I think the fact that I haven't had one normal relationship in my life speaks for it" I am seeing red now. that is not good. Get a grip, Grey! "I don't even know how to pursue a girl for god's sake!" I curse remembering how many times I fucked up trying to pursue Anastasia. "My only relationships had been interviewed subs chosen by you. You had me under your thumb for years even after I become a fucking Dom. You still controlled my life. You told me it was the only option I had" I am on a roll now. The facts are coming out of my mouth and hitting me in the face so hard I almost feel the blows physically.

"Well it is" She shrugs. The nerve!

"No it is not" I spit out and press my lips trying to control the urge to attack her.

"Oh please don't tell me that s…" She stops. "Someone has filled your head with dreams and hopes and promises of love and happily ever after" She says with sarcasm dripping from her voice. I know she means Ana even if she doesn't mention her name she means her. I again try to redirect it away from Ana. I don't want her dragged into this mess.

"Or maybe I just finally saw you for who you are. A fucking pedophile" I know that will get her attention.

"Believe me. They wanted it as much as you did. I wasn't a pedophile back then, was I?" She challenges with a raised eyebrows. "I was exactly what you needed" She says slowly before she smiles what should be a dreamy smile.

"That is what you made me believe but the truth is you were a pedophile back then and you are one now. God, how blind have I been" I curse under breath and rub my face with my hand. Fuck, I have to say it out load even if the words break me. I have to break her out of her denial and I have to break myself out from mine. Completely. I have to be free of the shame and I don't know how but I will start by confessions. Isn't that the right steps of redemption? You have to confess in order to be free? To be forgiven? "You molested me. You used me and I have been blind to your games" The words come out stronger than I would have hoped for. "You had me blindfolded for years and If I could press charges against you now I would" I close my eyes feeling physical pain in my chest. "But I can't because I have lost my right to protest after too many years of silence and stupidity"

"You wouldn't do that to me, Christian" Her terrified tone makes me look up and see how scared she is. She is trying to hide it but I can see her hand shaking in her lap. "You can't. Not after everything we have…" I cut her off correcting her.

"Had. And yes I will" I nod looking her dead in the eyes. "I will throw your ass in jail with a fucking smile on my face and a lighter heart" I think she is trying not to believe me. I don't care, though. "Now listen to me. I will be watching you. I snitched Collin out of your web but if I ever got much as a sniff that you are even seducing any boys. I will take you down" I deadpan and then stand up buttoning my jacket. "I hope you are into pussy too because it is the only flavor you will be getting when I finally put you where you belong. Can you even imagine what can happen to someone like you in prison?" I say trying to paint a mental image and succeeding when I see the horror clear on her painted face. I walk over to the door opening it. "Now get out of here and never try to come near me again" I say in my end-of-conversation tone and I see from the corner of my vision as she opens like her mouth like she is trying to say something but then decides against it , grips her purse and heads for the door.

"This isn't over" She hisses as she passes me and I resist the urge to step away when her shoulder brushes my chest in her way. I need to hold myself stronger but with the new knowledge of this woman victimizing me, I am more vulnerable around her than I want to be. I release a sigh of relief when I hear my house's door close after her.

The fact that she didn't try to blackmail me through the photos means she really believes that this isn't over. The photos are her last card and she won't use it openly until she is desperate enough. I close the door of my playroom and lean my back against it. My eyes scan the room. Full of memories and flashes. So many has changed in the last two weeks I feel my head spinning every time I try to make sense of it. I don't know what triggered it in me. Was it my new discovery about Elena? Or Ana's sudden invasion of my life and my mind? Thinking of Ana while standing in the same room where I have ever been with a woman beyond business, it makes me think of what kind of relationship I could ever have with Ana. I mean after tonight it couldn't be more clear that we both want each other. She can't deny it anymore. Call it a mistake. Even if she tries I won't let her. She has to face it and frankly, so do I.

"Do you think you want to 'date' Ana?"

John's words ring in my ears reminding me of my real problem. Even if Ana finally sees sense and dump her 'boyfriend', what will be my next move? I could bring her here. Show her what I am into? I feel my blood running cold as I imagine Ana's eyes scanning the room in horror. I see her eyes finally turning to meet mine and for the first time isn't hunger or lust or even anger in them. It is fear, hatred and disgust. I see her running out this very door. I see a future when I will never get to see her again. Touch her again, hear her laugh again, watch her get bat shit angry again, kiss her again…

And all I can think that it will be a horrible horrible empty existence without the disturbance caused by Anastasia Steele.

How has she managed to establish herself in my life so fast is beyond my understanding. I'd like to blame it on a higher power just to convince myself that I am not a helpless fool. I want this woman in a way I never wanted a woman before. Actually I can't even remember wanting a woman before. It was always control I was after. The getting off part was a relief too. But as my eyes travel over my playroom I see scenes being replayed in front of me. Faceless, nameless women and all I remember is what their submission made me feel. Can I let Ana be another one of them? I wince at the thought.

She never saw the man I tend to be when I enter this room. The façade I have to put until I get my fix. I had to play the role of the perfectly controlled Dom but most of the time I was aching on the inside like a heroin addict. Skin itching and brain non-functioning like an unwired machine. I have lost sight of what BDSM is about and I have only been using it to feed my sadistic needs. My eyes involuntary go straight to the darkest place in the room. How accurate! I walk over with pained steps. That is where I hang the whips, belts and cans. The instruments of torture. That is what they are for me. Although they could be used for pleasure but I know that corner. That is the one I head to when the monster in me takes over completely and all he wants to do is punish.

Punish her, punish her for her weakness, her ignorance, her neglect, her indifference, her misery, her pain, her entire existence… My entire existence…

punish her because she was too ignorant to get rid of me before I came into this life…punish her because she is the first to blame…the first of many…

Punish her!

In a fit, I grab a shaking hold of two whips snitching them and throwing them across the room. Man, that felt good. I do it again and again. And again. Off and away. Off and away.

"Christian…"

I hear Ana's voice is my ears. So vivid like she is right beside me that I actually turn scanning the room for her. I feel a tightness in my chest when I find it as empty as it should be. No Ana. No one for you, Grey. You don't deserve to feel sorry, to be broken, to need comforting. You are the guilty one here. The real monster isn't the one in your nightmares. I look back at the wall and see that it is completely bare now. I fall against it with my head in my hands.

It doesn't seem possible or realistic that my sadism is cured along with my fear of being touched. Shit like this just doesn't happen. There is no such thing as a cure for the darkness that has been living and building castles inside of my soul for years. Fed by anger and fear. Growing into an indestructible mess. Planting solid roots into my bones and my brain and my spin. No, it isn't possible. And getting rid of the whips and cans won't chase the monster away, not when it is right in me.

But the weird thing is, even the monster in all his glory winces at the thought of hurting Anastasia Steele.

Deep? How did this one feel?

Can't wait to know what you think ;)