Author's note: Hey everyone! Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed the last chapter! Because what happens in episode six technically doesn't happen in the show's timeline, I'm writing this part in 3rd person instead of 1st. Hope you all like it!

Chapter 21

The group of miscreant community service workers enjoys a break in the television room, indifferently watching a news special on a nerdy-looking boy with the ability of "lacto-kinesis." It's hardly rare to see them slacking off while on the clock, but blatantly staring at the TV might be considered a smidgeon excessive, even for them. This new level of apathy is rooted in the fact that there are only two remaining days of community service.

"That 'as got to be the shittest powah evah," Kelly eloquently voices.

The rest of young offenders is shocked, however, to learn that someone has managed to profit from the side effects of the storm.

"That is bollocks," Marnie agrees, "But if this guy's gettin' famous off that piece of shit power, imagine what would happen to us!"

"I need to take a piss," Nathan states abruptly, leaving the room. It's not immediately apparent whether he is being deliberately rude to his repentant ex-girlfriend, or if he's truly oblivious to the fact that he's acting like a prick.

Curtis and Simon leave, too, (albeit more gracefully) and soon the males are conversing in the lavatory.

"I can't believe this guy's gone public," Curtis comments.

"Yeah, well you better believe it, cos he's gonna make a fortune," says Nathan. "Maybe we should think about doin' the same – the early bird catches the massive paycheck." He pauses to stare at Curtis' penis, causing everyone a great deal of discomfort. "Nice cock, man."

"Fuck. Off," Curtis warns venomously.

"I don't think going public's a good idea," Simon interjects.

"Look, we finish our community service in two days – count them, alright. I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly swamped with lucrative job offers. We need to think about cashin' in on our powers," Nathan insists.

They finish up their business at the urinal and move on to the sinks, all the while unaware that their probation worker is sat smugly in one of the stalls, smoking a cigarette and eavesdropping on their entire conversation.

"I mean, I'm immortal!" Nathan exclaims, examining his reflection in the mirror. "I shouldn't be flippin' burgers, I should be… eating burgers – massive burgers, the size of my head! And think about it, we could have really cool superhero names. Captain Invincible," he dubs himself. "Mr. Backwards," he calls Curtis.

"I sound retarded," he states indelicately. There is, however, the slightest trace of mirth beneath his resentment.

Nathan, unhindered, points to Simon and says, "The Invisible Cunt."

"Why do I have to be the Invisible Cunt?"

"Cos you just are, man, get over it. I mean, what's the point in all of us havin' superpowers if we can't use them to make obscene amounts of money and shag loads of drunk, impressionable girls – it's clearly what God intended for us, and I for one will not let him down!" He kisses his fingers at the end of this speech. It's unclear whether he's stopped talking intentionally or simply run out of breath.

"I take it things aren't goin' so well with Marnie, then?" Curtis remarks with a sly smirk, only half-serious. In reality, he couldn't be bothered to care about the whole thing – drama is something he makes a point of staying far, far away from. But, on the other hand, it's clear that any mention of the girl's name twists the dagger in Nathan's heart, so to speak. And fuel to injure Nathan is both incredibly hard to find and impossible to pass up once you have it.

He snorts, unwilling to betray any inkling of sincerity; Curtis has struck a nerve, but Nathan's emotional barriers are raised to their full heights, effectively construing any reaction as blasé. "That ship has sailed, mate. A long, long time ago. I'm on to bigger and better things, things that include drinking copious amounts of alcohol and exploiting my powers to get laid. I don't give a shit about her or who she chooses to cavort with – a fanny's a fanny, man, and it doesn't really matter who it belongs to as long as she lets you, y'know, stick it in."

"Charming," Simon mumbles sarcastically. It's evident that he doesn't approve of the way Nathan is talking about their friend, but he, like Curtis, has no desire to get more involved than he already is.

Curtis simply rolls his eyes in repulsion, and the conversation comes to a halt as they exit the bathroom and rejoin the others.

Alisha immediately calls out to Simon. "What's going on with you and Jessica?" she inquires almost tentatively.

"After what happened with her dad, she said she can't see me, so…"

"Seein' a girl whose dad tried to kill you… It's never gonna work," she pauses, gauging Simon's reaction, before continuing, "You'll meet someone else – trust me."

They stare at one another for a while, though Simon is clearly disconcerted by the notion of sustained eye contact. Eager to break the awkwardness, he walks ahead to the exit, leaving Alisha visibly frustrated with either him or herself.

No one is given the chance to contemplate this unusual interaction, however, because Simon is greeted by dozens of paparazzi at the door. Everyone is equally shocked by this turn of events.

"What was that?" Curtis demands.

"They know about us," Simon says, panicked.

"Who?" Nathan questions.

"Everyone!"

"Wot are you talkin' about?"

"There are reporters and TV cameras outside – lots of them!"

"Bullshit."

"No way."

"Are you serious?" Alisha's voice cuts through the fray.

Simon nods tersely, jaw clenched.

"Alright," Nathan says, rushing towards the door, "I think I might take a little peek."

Simon stops him hastily. "Don't open the door!"

Despite his efforts, Nathan slips past. After standing outside for a short while, he closes the door once again and states with a laugh, "That is really quite a lot of reporters!"

"'ow did they find out about os?"

Everyone turns to Nathan, eying him suspiciously.

"What? No, I didn't do anything," he defends. "I don't think I did… I'm almost certain I didn't."

"If it wasn't you, then who was it?" Marnie demands impatiently.

Just then, the probation worker strolls by. "You!" Nathan shouts in an accusatory tone. The other man turns around with an air of innocence; it's as if he knows what Nathan's going to say before he says it. "You told them about us."

"Yeah," he admits with a guilty grin.

"You sit on your ass doin' nothing for six weeks, then you sell us out?" Curtis states, glaring furiously.

"Looks like that, dunnit? Is that ironic? I'm never too sure…"

"You're our probation workah, you're supposed ta sort os out!"

"Well, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Like you give a shit!" Alisha snaps.

"That's a good point. Later."

"Where're you going?"

"Ibiza. So, this is goodbye, so long, and fuck off." On that note, he continues on his way.

"Wankah!" Kelly yells after him.

The gang stands there in a circle, all quite unnerved.

"I'm actually very surprised that this hasn't happened sooner," Nathan breaks the silence, "We haven't really been that careful."

"What are they gonna do to us?" Marnie asks, scared.

"They'll treat us like freaks," Simon answers without any hesitation. "They'll lock us up in a secret military facility and conduct experiments on us."

"Hey, no one's experimentin' on me," Nathan states, "I'm not a monkey."

"Wot are we gonna do?"

"We have to go into hiding. We assume new identities, we break off all connection with our family and friends, we wear disguises and only go out after dark." Simon's really taking the initiative on this one, and it's clear that he's considered this possibility before. Or perhaps he's just read too many comic books…

"I'm not lovin' the sound of that," Curtis sneers.

"Yeah, do you expect me never to see my mum again? Who's gonna do my washin', huh? You've not thought this through."

"There is an alternative," rings an unfamiliar voice. The jumpsuit-clad volunteers turn to see a smartly dressed woman at the entrance of the community center.

"Who are you?" Marnie interrogates.

"I'm the person who can make it so you don't have to go into hiding. If this is handled right, you're all making some serious money," she says confidently.

Again, the young offenders look at one another. "Give us a moment, yeah?" Alisha says.

"Of course. Take your time, talk it through."

The six break into a huddle. "What are we thinkin'?" Nathan asks quietly.

"This isn't why we got our powers," Simon answers.

"No, there is no 'why,' there's only 'what.' What are we gonna spend all our money on?"

"None of us even know what we're doing after we finish, better than signing on," Curtis says.

"Wot about the people we killed," Kelly wisely points out.

"I guess we should ask her about that," Alisha says. They turn to face the still-unknown woman.

"Now I'm not sayin' we have," Nathan tactlessly begins, "but what would happen – hypothetically speaking – if it came to light that we may have killed one or two people? Probation workers and such, no on important."

"I would say," she starts slowly, "that these people you may or may not have killed were evil. You were protecting society – you're not murderers, you're heroes – superheroes. Rich, famous superheroes… And if that doesn't work, we vanish the bodies and pay off the relatives."

Everyone save Marnie and Simon looks wholly won-over. "Good answer," Nathan commends with a grin.

"Sign us up," Curtis says.

"Good."

"You're making a mistake," Simon objects.

"We should all stick together," Alisha hisses.

"Just do it wiv os."

"I don't really trust her either, Simon, but Alisha's right – we have to stick together," Marnie whispers.

"This will change everything." Without further ado, he strides towards the door. He snubs the woman's attempt to give him her card, leaving his five friends in his wake.

Later, once they're alone in the locker room, Alisha is quick to ask, "Do you trust her?"

"No," Marnie states bluntly.

"Lookit that bloke with the milk powah," Kelly disputes, "Nofin' bad 'appened to 'im."

Nathan opens his mouth to support her, but the woman walks in before he gets the opportunity. "They're waiting for you," she announces. "They're calling you the ASBO Five."

"I 'aven't even got an ASBO," Curtis snaps.

"No one cares," she says professionally. "Okay. Any questions you don't want to answer, just let me handle it."

"Okay," Nathan's voice penetrates the room, "Teeth? Good. Hair? Beautiful. Cock? In, fly's up. Let's go be famous."

Then, heads held high, the five friends stride out of the locker room and into an entirely new world.

xOx

Simon roams the halls of the Grand Hotel in search of his community service mates; he's clad in all black and has been keeping his head down since the incident. Luckily, the other five have taken the heat off of him, and hardly anyone is even aware that there was a sixth member of the ASBO gang.

He first sees Nathan, shirtless, bidding some scantily clad woman farewell from the door of his hotel room. He follows him into the room, all the way into the bathroom. Nathan is mid-piss before he realizes that Simon is present. "Jesus!" he exclaims when he sees him in the mirror. "What are you doing skulking around in my bathroom?"

"Sorry," he says, "my parents are freaking out about the invisible thing. I didn't have anywhere else to go."

Nathan looks at him sympathetically. "Can I stay with you?" he continues.

"Yeah sure, man. Hey, hang back a few minutes though… I just wanna go slip these girls one before they sober up."

Simon makes a face of disapproval as Nathan practically skips out of the bathroom. He calls after him, "Are you sure you want to be doing that?"

"Positive!" he answers from the other room.

"What about Marnie?"

"If you're gonna stay here, that name will not be mentioned. Agreed?"

"Fine. I just hope you know what you're doing. If you act like this, you're going to ruin any chance you have of getting back together with her," he explains.

"Duly noted!"

xOx

A few hours later, in the conference room, Nathan makes his entrance several minutes after everyone else has arrived. "Sorry I'm late," he brags, "I was just enjoyin' the fruits of our newfound fame and celebrity." Everyone looks appropriately irked, most of all Marnie. "You know I'm not talkin' about fruit, although you should see the size of my fruit bowl – massive."

"You shagged those skanks?" Marnie demands in disbelief.

"I most certainly did."

Kelly, Curtis, and Alisha share a knowing look. Whatever was about to transpire was certainly not going to end well.

"I was just saying," the woman interrupts, "that if there is something you don't want to see in the papers, tell me now and I can deal with it."

"Everythin' about me has already been in the papers," Curtis states.

"Do any of your ex-boyfriends have any intimate photographs or videos of you?" she asks Alisha.

"I'll delete 'em," Curtis agrees with his mouth full.

"Make sure you do. And you?" she asks Marnie, who is already having a difficult enough time keeping it together.

"Wait a sec," Nathan interjects, speaking to Curtis, "She sent you dirty pictures? How come I never got any from you?" he asks his ex-girlfriend.

By this point, it's completely obvious that Marnie is on the verge of tears and Nathan is just throwing salt in the wound. "Leave 'er alone, yeah?" Kelly snaps threateningly.

"Right," the woman says loudly. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

Nathan raises his hand. "Just before I started my community service, there was this incident with this girl…" he starts unrelentingly.

"What kind of incident?"

"Right… I picked her up in this dentist's waiting room – she was havin' some kind of oral surgery – so we go out, few drinks, couple o' kebabs, alright, and then it's straight back to her place and start with the shaggin'. And I've built up a nice rhythm, and I'm gettin' really close to blowing my load – just hovering in the pleasure zone – and then bam! All hell breaks loose. I tripled myself."

Before anyone can verbally react, Marnie stands, eyes glistening, and rushes out of the room. Nathan doesn't even flinch. Everyone else looks a combination of confused, angry, and disgusted.

"I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that term," the woman says finally once she's regained her composure.

"Y'know, triplin'. It's when you come, puke, and shit yourself all at the same time."

The company looks as though they are all about to be sick. "For fook's sake," Kelly complains.

"Three bodily functions, doin' the triple. You're tellin' me that's never happened to you?"

"No!" Curtis answers immediately.

"Anyway, I lied about my name, so she probably doesn't even remember me."

"I don't think she's ever forgettin' you," Alisha states.

"Anyone else?" the woman manages.

"Er, I shagged a monkey," Kelly casually adds.

The woman exhales in disbelief. The ASBO Five clearly has more skeletons in their closet than she had anticipated.

"Technically, it was a gorilla," Nathan corrects.

"Alright," she says with a deep sigh, "I'll take care of it. You," she points to Nathan, "take care of Marnie. Whatever is going on between the two of you is unacceptable. All of you are supposed to be a team, and now that she's already signed her contract I can't have her leaving because of you, understand? It will reflect poorly on all of us."

"Yeah sure, whatever," Nathan dismisses. To be honest, he is growing very tired of everyone telling him to make amends with her and treating him like he's the bad guy, when she's the one who was grinding up on other guys in the first place. Sure, maybe she's the more likeable of the two of them, but that doesn't change the fact that he was the one wronged. At least at the beginning. He supposes that now they're about even.

Author's note: Please review! Reviews = updates :-) And yes, I know I'm being cruel, but just bear with me...