Note: When I decided to finish this story I did so knowing there was a chance people had forgotten about it. I was prepared for there to be no reviews, but wanted to finish the story for myself. I cannot tell you how much it means that some of you have not given up on me or this story! I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it is a course changer for one couple. Like the last it is slightly OOC but I am getting back into the groove of things and hope to rectify that in future chapters.

Chapter Twenty One

"Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed."

Arizona stared at the dull, white ceiling above her bed. Three more hours and they would let her go home. Home. She bit back a bitter laugh. The apartment where she, Callie, and Sofia had lived no longer felt like home. It felt like a prison. A prison of memories. Everywhere she turned there a reminder of what she lost. Mark had the right of it, she thought, curling on her side. She wished she had it in her to sell the apartment and everything in it, to find a haven where she could pick up the pieces. Of course Mark had Lexie to ease the pain. Lexie and their baby. He had a future to look forward to. What did Arizona have? An attempted suicide. Another burst of bitter laughter swelled inside her. She hadn't meant to kill herself. Or to even try to kill herself. All she had wanted was a little sleep. Admittedly, mixing anti-depressants and alcohol hadn't been a wise decision. She had known it at the time but the need to sleep without dreams of dead babies had been stronger than logic.

"Arizona."

She ignored Callie's soft plea. She couldn't handle Callie and the baggage that came with her. There was just to much damage. Whenever a friend had said that in the past she had argued that there was never to much damage, not if the people really loved each other. She was wrong. Eventually there was just to much damage. That was where she was with her relationship with Callie. To much damage.

"Arizona!"

Clenching her jaw, she tried to ignore the desperation in Callie's voice. If she acknowledged her wife's presence all they would do was argue. Callie would try to shoulder all the blame. Arizona would try to explain it had been an accident. Neither of them wanted to hear what the other had to say. It was a vicicious cycle that Arizona no longer wanted to be a part of. She didn't have the energy or the mental-stability, to handle it. Not anymore.

"Fine! Don't look at me. Just...listen!" Arizona felt the bed shift slightly as Callie sat on the end. "I told you Mark called me last week, didn't I?" Yes, Callie had told her. Her wife had been so excited about that call. A part of Arizona had wanted to be excited to. The other part felt like Mark had betrayed her by forgiving Callie. "He invited us to Thanksgiving." Callie paused. Probably waiting for Arizona to give some sign that she was listening. Arizona wasn't going to oblige. Not this time. She just wanted to be left alone. At least for the next three hours. Then she would let her father check her out and pack her up. It was all arranged. She would recoup at her parents home in San Antonio. Maybe when she felt better she would return to Seattle. Maybe she wouldn't. "Today's Thanksgiving. I thought we could stop by." Callie could stop by. Arizona would be on a flight to Texas. "Arizona. Please. Can you just look at me?"

A tear trickled down Arizona's cheek as she shook her head no. She clutched the sheet to her chest, fighting to regain control. She wasn't going to give into the urge to cry. She wasn't going to let her emotions get the better of her. This time she would keep herself in check.

"Will you please just listen?" The bed shifted again as Callie stood. The soles of her shoes squeaked on the tile as she started to pace. "I've been going to therapy. Sometimes twice a day." Arizona already knew that. Sometimes she was forced to be a part of the sessions. Other times she was at her own session. "I should have been doing that from the very start but I can't. I wasn't ready to deal with everything. I am now though. I am ready and I am dealing. Which is why," she paused, inhaling deeply. "Which is why I called your father and told him you wouldn't be coming home until Christmas."

Anger shot through Arizona. She shoved the sheet aside and bolted upright in the bed. "You had no right!"

"Says who? I'm your wife! We're suppose to support one another. I'm not going to let you run away!"

"Oh, so you can do it, but I can't?" It was a low blow but Arizona was desperate. She was at the end of her rope. She couldn't take anymore. There wasn't enough energy to hold on to her sanity and sort through the damage that was her marriage.

"No. I shouldn't have run. I should have listened to you. And I should have stayed here and dealt with what was going on."

"But you didn't," Arizona pointed out. She slid her legs over the side of the bed, a small gasp pursing her lips as the tips of her toes connected with the cold tile of the floor. "You left. I get why you did it. I do. You had to get your head on straight and you couldn't do that here. Well, neither can I. I need to figure things out and I can't do that here."

Her body tensed as Callie laid a hand on her shoulder. "Okay," her wife whispered. "I'll see if I can book-"

Arizona shook off Callie's touch. "No." She shook her head, her messy blonde waves falling into her face. "Not us. Me." Once upon a time the hurt and confusion on Callie's face would have broken her resolve. Not this time. Not ever again. To much damage had been done. Turning her back, Arizona reached for the phone that sat on the stand next to her bed. She ignored Callie's pleas to talk as she dialed a number she knew by heart. "Come get me," she choked, curling her fingers into the hem of her hospital gown. Her shoulders sagged with relief as the voice on the other end assured her they would be there. He'll make it better, she thought as she hung up the phone.