It was still raining two movies and a wine bottle later. "Stay the night."
"I can't." It seemed too intimate and different this time, and what if the wine starts to speak for itself? I can't talk to her in the dark where the intensity of words increase.
"I've been over and over it in my mind, trying to figure out what I could've done differently, I admit I'm not the best judge of character of a happy home."
"Emily what are you talking about?" She sat upright on the couch, there was a light glow over her face from the screen. I was replaying her words in my head, trying to understand the meaning of her words. "Emily?"
"I have been thinking a lot lately, you, the past. Seeing you at the sidelines. I can't imagine how it must feel to feel like an intruder in your own family, home. Now I'm thinking how such a shame it is to not being able to tell you every day how beautiful you are. You are so worth of being loved, you're beautiful Paige. Every time I see I regret not saying it." When she slowly whispered that I probably won't believe her it was my cue to look up and meet her eyes. I was slowly becoming my own person on my own terms not in a forced way, believing someone calling me beautiful and get sad about everything makes me feel something I hardly can explain. "It's hard to believe when you entire life you've been told differently."
"Even if you not let me, I don't want you to forget. You're Paige, very much so. " She took a deep breather making it sound as she wanted to add something but more didn't come. When I saw her watching my lips, and slowly started to move towards me I knew in what category I had to look for her unspoken words. She relieved me from my guessing as she told me. "I would love to be that person, that loves you until the end of time and a lot of other corny and cheesy things that I always found stupid but with you those things are what I feel." It was surreal it was whispered to me so the words wouldn't get eaten up by the big space of her living room.
"Can I say something to?"
"Yeah, you can tell me anything." I watched how she entwined our fingers, I decided to focus on our hands instead of looking at her face.
"I like this girl, woman. I like her a lot but she makes more money than I do, I mean like a lot a lot more." My heart started to beat faster when she didn't reply at first.
"Maybe she has no problem with the income gap." She made circles with her thumb on my hand. "Just let it go all your doubts."
"Yeah maybe you are right." I admitted.
"Can I admit one more thing?" She asked me with her shining eyes. "Yeah." I nodded.
"I knew it was love, the first time I met you." When she spoke, when she admitted this my first reaction was to laugh. I imagined this place as the first place where I could go to any given time, somebody would always be here. When I want to talk, someone who never will judge me. I have heard somewhere that when someone loves you, you can see it in their eyes. That's what I was doing now, reading her eyes. I hoped to see love, she practically told me those three words. I desperately need to see them, feel them, hear it.
"Can I kiss you?" My lips were on hers before she had the chance to reply. My lips were grazing oh so lightly against her, if she wants too she can pull back or she can intensify the kiss. I let her the full control. "Wow I enjoyed that." She blushed.
"Can I, again?" I asked more desperately than a minute ago. It's strange when our lips are locked I feel free, everything is spinning around. "What do you do to me Emily?" I whispered, resting our heads against each other.
On top of my list of the most beautiful things in the world Emily Fields smile. That smile absolutely killed me. Emily threw her arms around me so suddenly and so hard that I stumbled backwards and almost fell over. "Oh I love you." She gasped. "That took you long." I joked.
"Make fun of me how long you want but I know my heart. I'll prove it to you, for the rest of my life." Hearing her say that was a feeling I would never forget. She was playing with my hair, I had to keep back a moan it felt so good. "Emily, I would like to see Kenneth soon, I would like your help."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I need it to move on. I'm just scared he will go crazy mad. The more I think about the more I kind of need the answers. I never cared, he could've been dead it would be all the same but now the us thing, I want to do something. If you want to help me?"
"Of course. Anything." My eyes fluttered close at the feeling of her lips on my head. "If you don't mind me asking, how do you feel about her now? Alison. Romantically I mean."
"I haven't felt anything about her for a long time." She shrugged. "To be honest all I want is her to leave me alone. I know it's harsh but she stopped being my problem as soon we broke up."
"I understand." I said. "I know what you mean, you just want to move on without your ex popping up constantly."
"Exactly." I sighed. We fell silent and I took another gulp of wine, then decided to ask what I wanted to say all evening. "Emily, can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Why did you really ask me here tonight?" Emily sat up a little bit, but keeping her legs over me. "Well" She started her cheeks reddening slightly as she lowered her eyes breaking eye contact. "I really like you Paige. And I wanted to get to know you better. I've really loved tonight."
"So have I." I said immediately. "Tonight's been great."
"And when I look at you," Emily sighed softly. "I just couldn't look away when I saw you for the first time, you have beautiful deep captivating eyes. I'm insanely attracted to you."
"Really?"
"Yes really." She giggled.
"Why?"
"What?" She started to laugh. "I don't know why, you just captivate me I guess."
"I mean, I just don't understand. I'm drama." I shrugged vaguely. I nervously tore my eyes from my glass to look back at her. She started to tell me all about her background, her fortunate upbringing, the ways she understand my poor upbringing. By the time we fell silent again it was past midnight. "I haven't enjoyed myself this much in a really long time."
"Neither have I."
"Can I kiss you now?" She whispered her cheeks turning red. My heart melted, I couldn't help smiling. My whole body was reacting to her, she put her other arm around me and I did the same, needing to hold her closer.
Minutes went by like this. "Thanks for a lovely evening." I whispered in her ear. As before she ran her fingers through my hair. "I hope we can do it again soon."
"We will." I nodded eagerly. "You kind of gave me job." I laughed.
"See you hopefully really soon than. " She took a step back to open the door. "Text me when you get home babe."
"I will." I grinned.
"Goodnight Paige."
"Goodnight Em."
I still couldn't believe Emily Fields being attracted to me. It wasn't that I didn't believe her, she looked so sincere when she had said it but I can't get my head around it. I found myself feeling desperate to see her again. Soon. I almost took my phone out to arrange next time. All the worrying all the pain seemed to have gone. Right now, it all didn't matter anymore. It had been fifteen minutes ago when we said goodbye but I can't wait to see her again.
I got inside and closed the door heading straight into the living room. I opened the door and stopped dead. Spencer was laying across the length of the couch, her top discarded on the floor. She turned her head with a gasp when she heard the door open, raising her arm to cover her chest revealing the equally flushed face of Toby.
I ran so fast up the stairs, bursting out laughing when I closed the door. Nothing was going to bring me down right now, not even something I shouldn't have seen. I changed for bed and quickly checked my phone. Like I hoped there was a goodnight and thank you text with winky faces waiting for me. I quickly let her know I was home and safe. Once again I read the message through several times, until my eyes started to close. Putting my phone down I sleepily laughed to myself.