A/N: Thank you much for all the reviews I have received, without them, I would not be able to construct a chapter to your satisfaction. As this story is reaching the end, I am struggling with the amount of chapters to add since I don't want to rush or prolong the conclusion. This is not an easy feat, but for now, please enjoy the next installment.
Chapter Twenty One
Lily easily bypasses the secretary, having known her for a number of years because of Rufus. She waits to be transferred over to Kate.
"Hello?" Kate's voice asks.
"Hi Kate, its Lily."
Nobody says anything for a minute, prompting Lily to check to see if Kate hung up on her. Not that she could blame her, Lily would not want to talk to the wife of the husband she has been accused of sleeping with. Once Lily gets confirmation that Kate is still on the line, she waits.
"Kate, don't hang up, I just want to talk to you for a second."
Kate is contemplating her next move. Lily terrifies her and she is well aware of what Rufus' wife wants to discuss. However, Rufus made it abundantly clear that they should not be communicating with each other outside of work, so Lily calling her seems odd.
"Okay, did you get my message about the painting?" Kate keeps it work-related. She has no desire to talk to Lily about Rufus. It hurt having him reject her, but over the past couple weeks while Lily was in the hospital, she has been able to ease into the idea of them being friends. Every time they called each other, it was to talk about work with no underlying romantic connotation. Kate would occasionally inquire about Lily's well-being to be polite, but Rufus would say his wife is fine every time she would ask so she stopped.
Lily quirks an eyebrow, wondering why Kate is asking about her message. Certainly Kate didn't think that Lily actually wanted to hire her, did she? If she needed an art piece, should would have just asked Rufus, not the woman she thinks is sleeping with him. Lily asking for help from Kate was a ruse from the beginning, she just wanted information that Rufus was not providing.
"I did and I just wanted to let you know that I won't be needing your services anymore." Kate lets out a long sigh on the other end, she figured that was coming ever since that night Rufus came over to see her.
"Is this because of my relationship with Rufus?" Kate asks and then regrets the wording of her question. She just gave Lily reason to be suspicious when there is no reason to.
"What is your relationship with my husband, Kate?" Lily asks with a bite to her voice. She is tired of this girl interfering with her marriage and her life.
"Rufus and I are just friends." For the thousandth time, Kate thinks to herself, but knows better than to say that to Lily. She is annoyed that Rufus is leaving her to deal with his wife. They both agreed to stay out of each other's personal lives from now on. Kate has had to justify her relationship with Rufus more than once with Lily, now it is just becoming a nuisance to reiterate it.
"Then why did you feel the need to kiss him?" Hearing nothing on the other end only ignites Lily's frustration. "Listen, you naïve, little girl, you are messing with someone that I love very much. I want you to stay away from my husband and our family or I will bury you. Is that understood?"
Kate flinches at the ferociousness of Lily's voice. She doesn't even bother defending herself, she realizes that she crossed a line. To Lily, Kate will always be known as the girl that tried to break up her marriage, even if that wasn't her intention. Regardless, Kate feels that she owes Lily an apology.
"Of course, I am truly sorry for all the damage I have caused. And for what it's worth Lily, the second you called for help that night, nothing else mattered to him." Kate hangs up without a response from Lily. She needs to distance herself from this whole situation and from all the parties involved. The only way for her to do that is for her to resign from her position at the gallery.
Lily finally drops the phone after she hears the dial tone. And for what it's worth Lily, the second you called for help that night, nothing else mattered to him. The statement Kate made is echoing through her mind. Now that she has heard from Kate and Rufus that nothing malicious happened the night her mother died, she is starting to forgive her husband.
What still does not make sense to Lily is why Rufus felt the need to go over to Kate's apartment and lie about it. He should have an effort to distance himself from Kate in a more appropriate manner. Although, if Lily thinks about it, Rufus probably wanted to hurt her in the way she hurt him with William.
Lily lets out a breath and pulls the covers higher to her chin. She has to seriously contemplate her next move. Divorce is a plausible option, but she is not sure if it is the right one. They have been fighting with each other for so long that exhaustion is starting to give way to impulsivity. The anger that Lily has towards her husband is slowly starting to dissipate, but it has not evaporated completely. She needs time to think about what this shift in their relationship means for them and the kids, including Noah. Their separation has impacted everyone significantly, but a divorce might shatter the family all together. Both Lily and Rufus need to be in agreement that filing for divorce would be the best option.
Rufus heads back to the loft after Lily basically threw him out. He has no problem distancing himself from her, something he has been become proficient at since she came home from the hospital the first time. He feels stuck, but he has to remind himself that Lily has the right to forgive him on her own terms like he did to her. Rufus just hopes that she won't prolong this fight just to prove that she can. Dan and Jenny keep asking about the status of his marriage to Lily. Rufus is well aware that his daughter wants nothing to do with her step-mother anymore and would be happier if he divorced her. However, Dan is still holding out hope that what happened with Alison does not repeat itself with Lily. His son is less hostile about it then Jenny, but Rufus can tell Dan is concerned.
What Rufus wants to do is take charge and demand to know from Lily if they are splitting up or working to resolve things. Of course, he is not excepting all their problems to be solved in one night, but they are not making any progress. He knows his wife's anger well, it flares up unexpectedly and then burns out fast. Rufus is predicting that Lily will want to hash everything out soon, but she will make sure she has total control over the situation.
Lily did not realize that she had fallen asleep until the phone ringing roused her. She blindly reaches with one hand to grab it, but ends up slowly rolling over to answer, wincing at the familiar tug of her stitches in her lower abdomen.
"Hello?" Lily clears her throat and the sleep still enveloped there.
"Hi, is this…Lily Humphrey?"
"Yes, can I ask what this is about?"
"I'm sorry to bother you Mrs. Humphrey, but my name is Tim, a nurse here at Lennox Hill. Your son Noah has come down with an infection and we thought we should call you." Lily's stomach tightens and she forces herself to continue conversing with the nurse.
"Oh…what kind…how bad…" She is only able manage half-questions before a new one slips out of her mouth. A few hours ago, Lily was holding Noah for the first time, the scent of his is still wafting through the air.
"We are still running tests, but it looks like pneumonia, which is common in premature babies. The results aren't back yet, so I can't confirm that is in fact the infection that your son picked up. I think it would be easier for you to just be here so we can properly inform you about your son's condition as it develops."
"O…okay, I will be there soon." Lily hangs up the phone and forces herself to breathe when all she wants to do is scream. It seems so unfair to Noah to battling this, on top of everything else he has had to encounter in his short life. No matter what, Lily needs to get to Lennox Hill, which might prove to be challenging. Alex is still sleeping and Rufus is either at the loft or his gallery a half an hour away. Lily's mobility is hindered, but she is able to be on her feet for short spurts of time.
Lily debates calling Rufus, but reminds herself that if the roles were reversed, it would be unlikely that Lily would forgive Rufus for not informing her that their child is sick. She has to remember that it is not so much about them as a couple, but the health of their son, which matters the most.
She dials Rufus, growing more annoyed that her husband isn't answering. Lily would think that Rufus would recognize the fact that she is not calling just to chat, but rather to relay pertinent information to him. Especially after the way they left things some time ago.
"Rufus…" pause for a dramatic sigh from Lily, "it's me. I really need you to call me back, it's important. I'll be at Lennox Hill with Noah. Please meet me there as soon as you can." Lily tosses her phone on the bed and slides out of bed, doing a quick check on Alex to get confirmation that her daughter is still passed out. She swipes up her phone again, dialing Serena to see if she can babysit. Luckily, unlike her husband, Serena actually picks up.
"Hey mom, what's going on?" Serena asks.
"Hi darling, I know you just left, but would you mind babysitting Alex for a couple hours? The hospital called and Noah came down with some kind of infection."
"Yeah mom, I'll bring Blair with me. We will be right there." Serena wanted to ask if Rufus was going with her, but since Lily didn't mention it, she thought it would be better not to bait her mother again.
Lily dials Rufus one more time just to see if he will answer. She gets his voicemail again and gives up. Wherever Rufus is, he eventually will check his messages and come join her at the hospital. Her focus is more on making sure Noah is healthy instead of searching for her husband.
When Lily arrives at Lennox Hill, she immediately attempts to track down a doctor that has the slightest inkling as to what is happening with her son. She knows of Dr. Singer through Rufus, so she asks a passing by nurse to have the physician come and find her at the first available moment.
While Lily is watching Noah through the glass window of the NICU, she can't help but want Rufus to be here. Deep down, she realizes that he would be the only person that could calm her nerves in a situation like this. It's not fair to her that he left her here to worry about their son and him at the same time.
"Mrs. Humphrey?" Lily hears a voice from behind her and looks over her shoulder. A blonde woman is standing in front of her holding what Lily presumes to be her son's chart.
"Hi, are you my son's doctor?" Lily asks, surprised at how soft her voice sounds.
"Yes, hi, I'm Dr. Singer, I have spoken with your husband a couple times." Dr. Singer tells Lily and glances around the room to make sure that she isn't missing the other parent. Lily bites her lip, knowing what the physician is thinking; why isn't her husband here? She almost provides an excuse for Rufus, but decides against it.
"How is my son doing?" Lily asks, bringing her attention back to their conversation.
"Your son is working hard to fight this infection. I'm sure someone told you that we think it is pneumonia, but the blood work should be back in the next hour. For now, we have him on high dose antibiotics for the fever which will help immensely." Lily is nodding along, trying to absorb everything the doctor is telling her. Most of the medical jargon flies over her head, but she is trying to cling onto the vocabulary that she does comprehend.
"How did this happen? I thought he was progressing as he should be." Dr. Singer bites her lip, knowing that she has to provide unsettling news to Lily.
"Honestly Mrs. Humphrey, taking him out of the incubator at this point probably wasn't the best idea." Lily immediately goes on the defensive, not appreciating the physician's candor.
"Are you saying that my husband and I caused this? It is not our fault his doctors' allowed us to hold him outside of the incubator."
"All I am saying Mrs. Humphrey is that we took a risk, knowing what the consequences would be and sometimes it doesn't pay off."
"But I didn't know what the risks were, nobody told me…" Lily trails off as her throat constricts. Dr. Singer realizes that it sounds like she is trying to throw the blame back on Lily and starts doing damage control.
"I expect your son to make a full recovery, it is just going to take a little more time than we intended. If you'll excuse me, I have to go check on your son." Dr. Singer leaves Lily to mull over their discussion. Lily presses her fingertips to her eyes and sniffs, attempting to keep the tears trapped in her eyes. Had she have known that she was putting Noah in danger of getting sick, she would have objected to Rufus' surprise. A part of Lily is curious to know if her husband was cautioned and decided to ignore the doctors. Lily dismisses the thought as soon as it arises. Rufus would never intentionally put their children in danger even if it was in an attempt to appease her anger with him.
Lily turns around to see her son being looked at by Dr. Singer and other physicians she doesn't recognize. A tear slips down the curve of her cheek. She instinctively leans back, expecting Rufus' arms to find their way on her body, providing comfort. However, Rufus is not here, she is left to weather this crisis without him. Instead, she focuses on Noah, grinning a little when her son unknowingly swings a fist at a nurse attending to an IV.
An hour later, Rufus nonchalantly strolls off the elevator, spotting Lily parked in front of the window looking into the NICU. She catches his eye and frowns. Rufus swallows, recognizing the irritated expression on his wife's face. Lily does a preliminary glance around the area, making sure nobody is listening to their conversation. To say she is furious would be an understatement. She called her husband almost two hours ago and he is finally here acting like nothing has happened.
"Where the hell have you been?" Lily heatedly whispers. Rufus shoves his hands in his pockets, turning his head to look at Noah.
"I fell asleep. I came as soon I got your message. What's going on with Noah?"
"He is sick, the doctors think that he has pneumonia, which you would know, if you had been here." Lily can't help but lash out at him for forcing her to be here by herself these past few hours.
Rufus clamps down on his bottom lip to prevent himself from snapping back at his wife. He is sympathetic and wishes that he could have been here earlier.
"Lil, I'm really sorry, but I'm here now. Can we just get through this together without killing each other, please?" Lily has to concede that Rufus does have a valid point. With Noah being sick, they do not need the added pressure of being at each other's throats constantly. They are adults who are capable of being cordial to one another until their son is healed.
"You're right, this is not about us. I'm glad you came." She whispers as her cheeks blossom into a rosy hue. Rufus gives her an adorable crooked smile, but Lily quickly amends her statement. "I'm glad you finally came." She turns her back to him, staring at Noah. Rufus comes up behind her, setting his hands next to hers, rather than on top. His body brushes up against hers and she can feel the heat of his breath bounce against the top of her head.
Lily turns her head slightly, catching Rufus staring at Noah. A tug of her lips gives into an appreciative smile. They lock eyes for the briefest moments before Lily focuses back on their son.
"Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey?"
"Yes?" Rufus and Lily say simultaneously and turn around. Dr. Singer and a nurse they have never seen before are waiting with a file.
"We got your son's blood work back and all signs point to an infection." Rufus glances at Lily while Dr. Singer is relaying information to them.
"Okay, so what's next?" Rufus asks for the both of them. He has become extremely adept at remaining calm in a stressful situation thanks to Lily's extensive health crises. Lily silently thanks Rufus for stepping in, but does not attempt to make any physical contact with him.
"We have to wait and see how he responds to the antibiotics. I'm sorry that I don't have a better answer for you guys. I know you have been through a lot already."
Lily wants to laugh in the physician's face. The doctor has no idea what she and Rufus have had to battle over the past few months. Their son is sick, their marriage is disintegrating and Lily is trying to recover from her second abdominal surgery combined with an unplanned hysterectomy. She wants a break from everything or at least time to process before the next catastrophic event comes her way.
"Thank you Dr. Singer, please keep us updated." Rufus says, noticing that Lily has drifted off. The physician leaves the couple alone to stay with Noah, promising to be back later with more information about his condition.
"How did Noah become so sick anyway?" Rufus asks, finally capturing his wife's attention. This sparks underlying annoyance in Lily that bubbles to the surface once again.
"Apparently we let him of the incubator too early which put him at an extremely high chance of getting an infection." Lily says with a bite to her tone. Rufus is smart enough to see through his wife's smoke signals. By her saying "we" she means "you" since she had no choice in the matter. However, Rufus is not going to apologize for doing something nice for her when he was not told the potential consequences either.
"Lil, I didn't know. I was told that he was doing well enough for us to spend some time with him outside of that damn box." Lily huffs and turns away from her husband. He is right and she knows it, but it is easier right now for her to be angry at him than to rationally think things through.
Eventually, the pain in Lily's surgical wound is aching so much that she can barely stand up straight. Rufus notices her hunched over position and rests a hand on her back.
"I'm fine," Lily whispers, chewing on her lower lip to conceal a whimper. Rufus sees her put a hand over her incision and tightens his hold on her.
"Lily, go home, there is nothing else we can do for him today." Rufus is not saying that to get back on her good side, but simply because he could not handle her and Noah being sick at the same time. Lily neglecting to take care of herself because of Noah is not honorable, but rather, bordering on self-destructive.
"Fine, I'll see you later. Call me if you hear anything about Noah." Lily gathers up her purse and jacket, not even bothering to ask Rufus if he wants to come with her. Rufus is guessing that he is relegated to the loft in Brooklyn for the time being, which has been his primary residence for the past two months.
The next day while Lily and Rufus are at the hospital with Noah, his cell phone rings in his pocket. Rufus ignores it at first, thinking that whatever is going on can wait. However, his cell phone continuously rings.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" Lily asks with annoyance sprinkling her voice. Rufus takes his vibrating cell out of his pocket to check who it is. He finds it odd that Vanessa is calling, she rarely contacts him unless there is an emergency at the gallery that Kate cannot handle on her own. He steps away from Lily and the bustle of the busy hallway to take the phone call.
"Hey Vanessa, I can't really talk right now. What's going on?"
"I know, I'm sorry, but nobody is here to open the gallery and I can't get in. There are people waiting outside." Rufus furrows his eyebrows and checks the time. Normally, Kate would arrive before Vanessa since she has the key to the gallery.
"Shouldn't Kate be there?"
"Oh…I thought she told you…"
"Told me what?"
"Kate resigned yesterday, it was her last day. I'm sorry Rufus, I thought you already knew." Rufus' jaw drops and he turns around, looking at Lily talking with a nurse about Noah.
"No I didn't. Did she say why?"
"No, she didn't say, but she seemed pretty upset. What should we do about the gallery?" Vanessa does not want to add any pressure on Rufus because she knows about Noah thanks to Dan and Jenny.
Rufus mulls over his choices. Kate quit because of something Lily said or did to her, he is sure of it. However, he is going to sit on this information for now. When they are sure that Noah is doing better, he will ask his wife about Kate.
"I will be there in about thirty minutes."
"You don't have to…" Rufus hangs up on Vanessa and walks back over to Lily, who is just wrapping up her conversation with the nurse. He scoops his jacket off of a nearby chair and swings it over his shoulders. Lily breaks her staring contest with the window to glance at Rufus.
"The nurse just told me that Noah is doing a little better today…where are you going?"
"I'm going to the gallery, they don't have any one to open it." Lily quirks an eyebrow, wondering why Kate is not there.
"Rufus, what about Noah?" Rufus is curious as to why his wife fails to ask about Kate, unless she already knows.
"Lily there isn't anyone else to run the gallery. Trust me, I would rather be here. I'll be back later on." What baffles Rufus is Lily usually ignores him while he is here, so it should not matter to her that he is gone. Lily has a touch of guilt on her face, but it is battling with the constant irritation that she feels towards him.
"Fine, I'll call you if something comes up."
Lily is hoping that the reason Kate is noticeably absent is not because of the phone call they had. She let her anger speak for her, which is something that rarely happens to Lily. Normally, Lily is always in control of her emotions, but something about Kate's attitude made her snap. All Lily wanted to do was make it clear to Kate exactly where she stood with Rufus. She never meant for Kate to become so upset that she felt she could no longer work at the gallery. However, it is better for Lily if Kate is not around Rufus any more. Although, if Kate did in fact quit, Rufus is going to be furious with Lily.
"Shit." Lily whispers and grabs her phone, thinking that she should call Kate and apologize. As she is dialing, Lily changes her mind. It is not her fault that she felt that she was forced into delivering an ultimatum to Kate. Lily was perfectly content with Kate working alongside of her husband until she crossed the line. Kate quit and that was her choice, Rufus is just going to have to deal with it.
Rufus arrives at the gallery about a half an hour later. He unlocks the doors and apologizes to Vanessa for making her wait. Sure enough, when Rufus walks into his office, he sees a sealed envelope with his name on it resting on his desk. Rufus tears it open and sees Kate's formal letter of resignation accompanied with a short note.
Thank you Rufus for the opportunity, it was fun working here with you. I wish you and your family the best. Hopefully we will run into each other one day.
-Kate.
Rufus automatically reaches for his cell phone idling next to him on the desk. He slides it open and scrolls through his contacts until he lands on her name. Instead of calling her like he previously intended, he ends up deleting her number. Kate obviously wanted a clean break from him and he will respect her choice. Rufus wishes that she would have told him in person, but he has a feeling Lily had a part in Kate's abrupt departure.
Rufus is irritated that Lily felt the need to meddle into his non-existent relationship with Kate. He told her that he had it all under control, so for her to do something that made Kate leave is a big overstep. And it shows how little Lily trusts him when it comes to Kate. Rufus has experienced a jealous Lily firsthand and he would hate to be on the receiving end of it. He sympathizes with Kate completely.
In a way though, it could be good for Rufus and Lily to have Kate leave the gallery and possibly even New York. Maybe with her out of the picture, Lily will be more inclined to forgive him and they can finally start to move on. For now, Rufus will keep quiet about Kate resigning. He has a card to play against Lily that he hopes he will never have to use.
Back at the hospital, Lily is left managing the chaos by herself again. Rufus fled to attend to the gallery, which should not even be a priority of his right now. Lily does not understand how he could not have let the gallery close for one day, it is not like they need the extra money. Although, if Lily really thinks about it, Rufus uses that gallery as a hiding place. She knows that he has been putting in the extra hours when he can simply because he did not want to be at the penthouse while she was recovering from her appendectomy. Now that Lily is irritated with him and Kate is missing, Rufus feels like the gallery is his sanctuary.
Lily locks eyes with Noah for the briefest moments, feeling her lips tug into an authentic grin. Even seeing her son through the glass can lift her spirits up. Her cell phone vibrates in her pocket and thinking it is Rufus, the irritation returns. She reluctantly yanks the phone out of her ebony jeans, half paying attention as she swipes her finger over the message notification. She glances down to read it and then does a double take when she realizes who is contacting her.
Hey Lily, I am in New York tomorrow for a quick speaking engagement. I was wondering if we could meet.
-W.
William always contacts her out of the blue and at the most convenient times. Even though she shouldn't, Lily is contemplating seeking out his company. It would undoubtedly piss her husband off, but she really does not care. He is already going to be angry at her when he figures out she was the reason Kate did not show up at the gallery today. Plus, Lily is starting to doubt the competence of her Noah's doctors. A consultation with William might prove to be beneficial. Rufus will just have to deal with it.
If you wouldn't mind coming to Lennox Hill I will explain everything when you get here.
-L.
Lily receives a text from William that he will come to the hospital before his prior commitment at Columbia. She slips her phone back into the pocket of her pants and chews on her lower lip while she stares at Noah.
Once Rufus has everything situated at the gallery, he heads back to the hospital. When he returns to the NICU, Lily has her back to the window. He approaches her, thinking something terrible happened to Noah while he was gone.
"Lil, is everything okay?" Rufus asks, gently touching her arm. Lily lifts her head up and nods.
"Yeah, Noah is getting his shot and I can't watch." Lily explains. Rufus lets out a sigh of relief. He made sure that his phone was on the loudest volume just in case Lily had an update about their son.
"Oh…I can see where he got that disgusted look on his face from. He must have gotten his fear of needles from you." Rufus jokes, dropping her arm to set both hands on the windowpane. Lily smirks and shrugs her shoulders. "Damn, that is a big needle!"
"I know!" Lily exclaims which causes her and Rufus to start laughing. They are laughing so hard over nothing that it is making them laugh even harder. Both Rufus and Lily have been through so much stress lately that it feels good to relieve some of it, even if it is in an irrational way. Lily wipes her eyes and stops giggling, letting her hand slide off of Rufus' shoulder. Rufus regains composure of himself and shakes his head, wondering where that came from.
Lily clears her throat and glances over her shoulder to confirm that the nurses are done dispensing Noah's medication. She reverts to a more apathetic expression that she has been wearing around her husband the last few days.
"Everything fine at the gallery?" Lily asks. Not because she really cares, she is just wondering if Kate returned.
"Yeah, I got it under control."
"Good."
Rufus does not mention Kate and Lily does not ask. She will know soon enough if Kate actually left, now does not seem like the appropriate time to inquire about it. Lily knows Rufus, her husband is either waiting to mention it to her or he does not know yet. She is guessing on the latter since he did not come into the hospital looking for a fight.
He can tell that little by little Lily is starting to come to terms with the whole Kate situation. Rufus is guessing that this has happened because whatever Lily did to make Kate leave New York, but shockingly, he is okay with it. If Kate leaving is the key to fixing his marriage, than Rufus is more than willing to make that sacrifice. Rufus knows that Lily will not be able to fully forgive him until they talk, but he prefers causal conversation over the icy treatment he has been receiving from his wife. How long this peace will last is unknown to him, but he is going to enjoy it while it lasts.
The next day, William makes his way to the NICU, as per Lily's directions. He does not know if Rufus is there or the current state of their relationship, but it will be clear when he sees Lily. The last time William and Lily saw each other, she was seven months pregnant and recently separated. William did not even know Lily had the baby until she told them over their intermittent text messages yesterday. Lily did not mention Rufus at all and William knew better than to ask.
William steps off the elevator and spots Lily chatting with a nurse. He approaches her, but waits until she wraps up her conversation. Lily sees him out of the corner of her eyes and introduces him to the nurse.
"If you wouldn't mind getting Dr. Singer when you have a minute, I would like to speak with her." Lily says to the nurse.
"Of course Mrs. Humphrey, I will page her."
The nurse leaves William and Lily to talk. William hugs Lily briefly, stepping away after a few moments.
"It's good to see you Lily." He always likes catching up with Lily when it is convenient for him. Whenever he is in New York, William always makes a point to see her regardless of Rufus' feelings about it. William is completely okay with Rufus not liking him, but he does not let that infringe on his friendship with Lily.
"You too William, although I was hoping we wouldn't have to meet in a hospital." Lily frowns, wishing that her son would just get better so she does not have to spend every day at Lennox Hill staring at Noah through a window. William glances around, which Lily picks up on. "Rufus isn't here, you don't have to worry."
William chuckles and shrugs, turning his attention to trying to find which baby in the NICU is Noah.
"Where is your husband? I almost miss him." Lily rolls her eyes at William's attitude towards her husband. She finds it hilarious that her husband and ex-husband still act like children towards each other. The reasoning behind it is understandable, but it gets annoying when she has to constantly play peacemaker between the two.
"He is at the gallery right now doing damage control, he should be back later."
"Are you two still…?"
"It's…complicated. We are still trying to work things out." Lily is being intentionally vague with William. She respects Rufus enough to keep their marriage problems to themselves for the time being. All William needs to know is that her marriage to Rufus is still in limbo, which is the truth. Lily still has no idea where her relationship with Rufus is heading since it has not been her priority right now.
William nods in understanding, he knows when Lily does not want to talk about something. He can tell that she is honestly confused herself so he does not push. It will be clear when Rufus gets here exactly where their relationship stands.
"So, how is Noah doing?" William switches topics to make his ex-wife more comfortable. Lily looks surprised that he is asking about her son and then remembers that is why she asked him to meet her.
"Right…he was diagnosed with pneumonia two days ago, but he isn't improving that much. I was wondering if you could look at his file when Dr. Singer comes by. I just feel like a second opinion wouldn't hurt at this point."
William glances at Lily, noting how worried she looks. He puts his hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Although, as a doctor, William knows that the outcome for a premature baby diagnosed with pneumonia is generally unfavorable. However, he will do the best he can to make sure that Noah has been correctly diagnosed and is on the right medication.
"I will do the best I can for Lily, I promise." William squeezes Lily's shoulder as reassurance. She manages a small smile and nods.
"I know, I'm just really worried about him. This wasn't supposed to happen." William lets his hand fall off of Lily's shoulder as she turns away from him to regain her composure. He feels for his ex-wife, seeing mothers just like her outside of the NICU who cannot do anything but wait and hope that their babies are able to come home during his medical career.
"I'm going to go track down the doctor." Lily says, leaving William alone. William lets her go, letting Lily use finding Dr. Singer as an excuse when they both know she about to cry.
Sure enough, Lily returns five minutes later with what William assumes is the neonatologist on staff. Lily introduces William to Dr. Singer and convinces her to hand over Noah's file to him.
"He was a doctor here for a while." Lily explains when Dr. Singer has her reservations about handing over Noah's records.
"If you are okay with it Mrs. Humphrey, then that's fine with me. I'll just give you two a few minutes while I go in there to check on Noah."
William peruses Noah's file, looking for any red flags the doctor's here might have missed. Lily bites her lip and paces in front of him. She does not want to interfere, especially when this is not her area of expertise. The only thing Lily can do is provide the best answer if William asks her a question.
"Daddy, we see mommy and Noah!" Alex exclaims as her father steps off the elevator. The three-year-old has not been able to see her brother in a couple days because he has been sick. She has been begging Lily and Rufus to take her to the hospital. Since Rufus was not in a big hurry to get back, he scooped his daughter up on the way.
Stepping off the elevator and making his way around the nurses going various directions, Rufus sees somebody talking with Lily. The pair appear to be in a very intense discussion. Once Rufus gets closer, he almost drops Alex in shock. William is here, talking to Lily presumably about Noah. Alex giggles, thinking that her father is playing some sort of game with her. She encourages him to pretend to drop her again, but her dad is not listening.
"What the fuck?" Rufus whispers to himself and then blushes, thinking that he should not have sworn in front of his toddler. Alex has a habit of repeating things that she has heard from her older siblings or parents at the worst moments.
"Daddy, hello!" Alex whips her head around to glare at her father. However, she catches a glimpse of William and starts wriggling in Rufus' arms. "Let me go, Wilwam here!"
Rufus begrudgingly sets Alex down and watches as she scampers over to William and Lily, breaking up their discussion. Seriously Lil? Rufus thinks to himself, wondering why his wife's first ex-husband has to be here right now. He is not stupid, William would not just show up here unless Lily told him to. To say Rufus is pissed at his wife would be an understatement.
Lily hides her smirk at the astonished look on Rufus' face when he spots William. She has already prepared herself for a conversation with him that is probably going to end up with them yelling at each other. Lily does not blame Rufus for being upset, but she wants William to be here so he an offer his opinion about Noah, not because she actually wants to be back together with him. She broke their agreement, but Rufus never held up his end anyway.
William picks Alex up off the floor and points Noah out to her. He watches Lily and Rufus approach each other out of the corner of his eye. Predictably, Rufus looks infuriated, which William takes a tiny amount of pleasure in. Lily is unremorseful and is waiting with her arms crossed.
Rufus takes a deep breath and reminds himself that Alex is with them. Whatever he wants to say to Lily has to be done in private. Noah is his first priority and then he will talk to his wife. Rufus shoves his hands in his pockets, balling them into fists. He approaches William, Lily and Alex with a newfound disinterest.
"Noah is doing relatively the same." Lily informs her husband. She is waiting for him to blow up at her, but nothing has come yet.
"Mommy, is Noah in der?" Alex asks her mother.
"Yes baby, he is right over there," Lily steals Alex away from William despite the increased ache in her abdomen. Rufus briefly smiles at the sight of his wife and daughter pretending to swap secrets with one another. Alex rests her head on Lily's s shoulder.
"Lil, we need to talk." Rufus says softly in her ear. Lily looks up at him and nods.
"William, would you mind looking after Alex for a second? Rufus and I have to talk about something." William holds out his arms for the toddler and Alex eagerly moves over. She starts chatting to William about her brother while her parents slip away undetected.
Rufus grabs onto Lily's arm, pulling her into a waiting room designated for parents of newborns in the NICU.
"Ow, Rufus, you are hurting me." Lily says, wondering why her husband is being so rough with her. Rufus loosens his grip and glides his hand down from her wrist to her hand. He severs contact all together when they reach their intended destination.
"Why the hell is William here?" Rufus asks bluntly. He is so tired of playing games with Lily that he just wants to get straight to the point. Lily is unmoved by Rufus' harsh tone.
"I asked him here because I wanted a second opinion about Noah." Rufus furrows his eyebrows at Lily's explanation. Bypassing the fact that his wife should have asked him about it first, William is not the person they need to be consulting.
"Why? Did our son suddenly develop fake cancer overnight?" Lily's lips turn up just slightly at Rufus' dig towards William. Lily has never defended William about the cancer scare, she was angry at him too over it for a long time.
"No, Noah is not getting any better and in case you have forgotten Rufus, William is a doctor." Rufus rolls his eyes, he is under no illusion that the reason William's here is because of his profession. Lily is lashing out at him and she is using William to do it.
"I don't care Lily, you had no right to bring him here without asking me first."
"You broke our agreement with Kate first so I thought I would return the favor." Rufus visibly rolls his eyes. He is not having that particular argument again with his wife. Lily continuously brings up Kate because that is the only thing she can use against him.
"Oh grow up Lily, seriously." This time, Lily is the one to roll her eyes.
"And you still not being able to get along with William after almost twenty five years isn't childish? He is here to help us, Rufus."
"No, he is here because you asked him to be, not because he actually has a vested interest in treating Noah. You would rather dangle him in front of me than make any sort of attempt in saving our marriage." Rufus is not holding back anymore. He is exhausted from the constant fighting between them and is starting to come to the realization that he is going to have to make a choice for himself. "Stop playing games and tell me what you want!"
"I think you should go Rufus. We shouldn't even be talking about this right now with everything that is going on with Noah."
Rufus sighs and rubs his face in his hands. Lily gave him an excuse, not an actual answer. He can honestly say that he is done fighting with her and for her. They have hurt each other too much to see that they are the only people standing in their way of their relationship.
"I love you Lil, but I'm done. We're done. I'm not…waiting around for you anymore. If you can't even say that you want to be with me after all this, then what the hell are we still doing together?"
Lily's eyes fill with tears. She has made an irreversible mistake, but it is too late. When Rufus walks away from her, she lets him. Chasing after him would only lead to another fight. Lily forces herself to stop crying. She will mourn the loss of her marriage later on in the privacy of her own home, not at a hospital where someone could easily witness her breaking down.
Rufus makes his way back to the area where William and Alex are watching Noah. He is surprised that Lily did not attempt to catch up with him, but the fact that she did not only validates his theory that they both have come to their realization that their marriage is finally over.
"Hey daddy, Noah sweep a lot," Alex observes with a pout. The three-year-old is bored. Rufus glances over his shoulder, expecting to see Lily right behind him.
"Do you want to stay here with William and mommy or come back with me?" Rufus is not sticking around, his son is stable and there is no need for him to be here.
"I go wif you. Sowee Wilwam." Alex glances apologetically at William.
"It's okay Alex, I will see you later." The toddler hugs William's legs and then walks over to her father, tugging on his hand.
Rufus leaves with Alex after getting an update on Noah. He takes his daughter to the loft so she can spend some time with Dan and Jenny.
Lily chokes down a sob against the back of her hand. She presses her fingertips to her eyelids and sniffs. Once she has control over her emotions, Lily goes to find William. The fact that Rufus is gone does not come as a shock, but Alex not being there concerns her.
"Did Rufus take Alex with him?" Lily asks.
"Yeah they left about five minutes ago. Are you okay?" William asks, noting the blotchiness of her face.
"I'm fine, just tired. Is Noah doing okay?" Lily finds it easy to lie about how she is doing. She needs time to process her five year marriage disintegrating before she confides in any one. Normally, that person would be Rufus, but he is the person that caused her overwhelming sadness.
"I have to go Lily, I'm sorry. I am leaving tonight, but I can stay if you need me to."
"I'm sure that won't be necessary. Thank you William for coming." Lily hugs her ex-husband and walks with him to the elevator. After William leaves, Lily lets out a shaky breath and sits down on the couch.
About an hour later, Lily goes to get something to eat before heading home. She talks to Dr. Singer one last time that night. The physician tells Lily that Noah is starting to respond favorably to the antibiotics which is good news. Lily leaves with reassurance that the doctor will call her in case something comes up while she is gone.
When Lily arrives back at the penthouse, she is stopped by Vanya.
"Ms. Lily, you have a package waiting for you." Vanya points to a large box resting on a bell hop cart.
"Oh, thanks Vanya. Would you mind helping me with it? I won't be able to carry it." Vanya nods and hoists the box onto his body, trailing behind Lily to the elevator.
"If you could put it on the table over there, that would be great." Lily tells Vanya as they arrive at the penthouse. The elevator doors open and Lily can hear Alex giggling from upstairs. Vanya sets the package down in the requested spot and graciously accepts a tip from Lily.
Lily leaves the package for now and heads upstairs, hoping that Rufus will be sitting in his office with their daughter. She swings open the door and frowns when she sees Serena holding a bowl of popcorn on her lap. Alex is happily munching away next to her.
"Mommy, you watch movie wif us! 'Mon!" Alex pats the open spot on the couch next to her.
"I'll be there in a second baby. Serena, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Yeah, sure," Serena follows Lily out of the office and into the living room. "Is Noah doing okay?"
"Yes, he's fine darling. How did you end up here with Alex?" Lily is slightly annoyed that Rufus did not inform her about their daughter. Even if he wants a divorce, she has a right to know what is going on with their children.
"I was at the loft with Dan when Rufus came in with Alex. We ate and then he asked me to bring Alex back here, so I did."
"How did he seem to you?" Serena raises her eyebrows.
"What's with the sudden interest in Rufus?"
"Serena, I am not in the mood." Serena caves when her mother's hand flies up to her forehead.
"He looked…tired, sad, but that's just me. Are you two…?" Serena is not sure how to end her question. Are you two fighting? Are you two even still married?
"We are working it out. Thanks for watching Alex." Lily kisses Serena's cheek and walks back into the office to sit with her youngest daughter. Serena realizes a classic dismissal gesture from her mother and vacates the penthouse.
Lily sits with Alex until the movie they are watching over. The three year old is reluctant to go to bed because she wants her father to be here as well.
"Where daddy? I want him to be here wif us." Alex insists. Lily rapidly blinks to keep her tears trapped in her eyelids. It kills her that Rufus is not here and probably will never be sleeping in their bed with her again. She is not ready to tell Alex that Rufus no longer lives here permanently, it hurts too much right now.
"Daddy is sleeping at the loft tonight. I will talk to him and maybe you could sleep there soon." Lily is not going to instill false hope into her daughter. Alex will already be devastated that her parents are actually divorcing, telling her otherwise would be cruel.
"Okay mommy!" Alex agrees readily. The toddler barely sees her father, but is happy that her mom is home. She does not know why her dad is at the loft when he should be here with them.
"Come on baby, let's get you to bed," Lily shoos Alex off the couch and into her bedroom. Alex insists on a story before going to sleep. Lily closes the door behind her after the toddler is lightly snoring.
Before Lily goes to bed, she ventures downstairs. The package she received earlier is still idling on the counter, waiting to be opened. Lily ventures over to it, wondering who sent it. Her curiosity is piqued when the address the box was sent from matches CeCe's Hamptons house. She nibbles on her lower lip, debating whether to open it or leave it alone for now. Against her better judgment, Lily grabs a knife and cuts the tape off the box.
Inside the box are an assortment of knickknacks of CeCe's, including jewelry and old photos. Lily takes everything out, setting it on the counter next to her. A melancholy smile washes over her face, Lily wishes she remembered her mother's death. At the bottom of the box is the deed to the Hamptons house and a letter with her name on it.
Lily snatches up the letter and closes the box, leaving its contents scattered on the counter. She heads to her bedroom, setting the letter on the nightstand while she goes to get ready for bed. Lily slides under the covers a little while later. She grabs her reading glasses and opens the letter.
The first thing Lily notices is that CeCe wrote her this letter around the time she told Rufus about Scott. Lily remembers being so angry at her mother for putting a stop to her and Rufus' flourishing relationship that she would not speak to her for several months.
Dear Lily,
If you are reading this then that means that I am gone. Although, if you found this and I am still alive, don't read this yet. It took a lot of gin to work up the courage to write you this letter.
Lily rolls her eyes and glances around for a tissue box, knowing that she is going to need this the further she gets into her mother's letter. She climbs out of bed and goes into the bathroom, grabbing a box of Kleenex and then picks up the letter.
By now, Rufus is probably on his way to the train station where he is supposed to meet you. He won't be too happy with you, Lily, because I told him about the son you tried so desperately to conceal from him. I know you will be furious with me, but it's a chance I had to take.
I didn't tell Rufus because I knew it would upset you or because I wanted to mess with your shot at happiness. I did it because even though I knew Rufus would be upset with you, he will eventually forgive you.
Lily sniffs into a newly acquired tissue. She can recall coming home from Grand Central sobbing because of the disgusted look on Rufus' face. He was so angry and unwilling to listen to anything she had to say. Lily thought that they would never be able to come together and hated CeCe for interfering. It was not her mother's secret to share and she was unapologetic about telling Rufus.
Rufus loves you so much Lily and I know that he will fight for you. You two belong together despite everything that I have done to convince you otherwise. Like you told me a few weeks ago, "it's a curse I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but I love Rufus." For whatever reason, you two can't stay away from each other and maybe you shouldn't.
Don't turn into me Lily. That is not something that I want you to take lightly. I have made a lot of mistakes when it came to your father and you kids. I never had something like you and Rufus have. It's something that needs to be treasured and appreciated. As much as I want to beat Rufus over the head with my flask, I know that there is nobody else that would be able to fill a void in you and I can respect that.
I love you Lily and I am terribly sorry for causing you so much pain. Everything that I have ever done has been for the benefit of you and your sister. Just remember that you have someone that loves you unconditionally and don't ever give that up.
Sincerely,
Mom.
Lily is audibly sobbing at the conclusion of CeCe's letter. She had no idea her mother felt this way about her relationship with Rufus. CeCe always maintained the notion that Lily deserved someone a lot better than him. To think that after all this time, her mother secretly supported Rufus is oddly comforting.
Don't turn into me Lily. That is not something that I want you to take lightly. It is the line that Lily keeps coming back to, the one that breaks her heart. Lily is worse than CeCe because she witnessed firsthand the mistakes her mother made and then repeated them instead of breaking the cycle. What have I done?
She should have fought harder and stopped Rufus when he walked away from her earlier at the hospital. Lily should not have let him go. Even if she was angry at him for lying to her, he was right about everything. Lily does not want to get a divorce from Rufus and she deeply regrets everything she has done to make it seem like she does.
Lily climbs out of bed and ventures downstairs to the quiet living room. She spots the photo of her and Rufus kissing from their wedding still resting on the mantle. Lily swipes it and goes back upstairs to her bedroom, holding the photo close to her chest while more tears slip down her cheeks. Her wedding to Rufus was one of the happiest days of her life and it pains her now to reflect on it.
Lily glances around at the loft that served as her wedding venue. The kids and the rest of their guests have left, just she and Rufus remain. A bottle of champagne captures her attention, it is just asking to be drank by the newlyweds. Lily grabs it on the way to find her new husband. She catches a glimpse of him on the fire escape and goes out there to join him.
"Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?" Lily asks and maneuvers to sit next to him. Rufus grins widely at her and drapes an arm around her. She brushes a kiss to his lips as a shiver rolls through her spine.
"Cold?" Rufus asks to which Lily nods. He slips off his blazer, hanging it loosely around her shoulders.
"I brought us some champagne." She holds up the bottle as proof. Rufus offers her an adorable crooked smile and steals the champagne, popping the cork. The amber liquid seeps over the lid, prompting Rufus to press his lips to it.
"To us," Rufus says after he swallows and passes the bottle over to her. Lily repeats the sentiment and takes a sip. She sets the alcohol in between them and cuddles closer to Rufus.
"Can you believe we actually did it?" Lily asks, craning her neck to lock eyes with her husband. A throaty chuckle escapes Rufus' mouth at his wife's skepticism.
"It was a little touch-and-go there Mrs. Humphrey, but I had faith in us." Rufus uses her married name just because he can. Lily catches on and her lips stretch as wide as they can.
"And we finally met our son…" Her voice takes on an airy quality to it. Rufus affectionately squeezes her shoulder.
"We did, the poor kid has no idea what he is getting himself into with us as parents." Lily playfully swats at him as she laughs. Rufus is not exactly wrong about that.
"Well, regardless, we are married now and that's all that matters."
"I can finally put an end to your divorce streak," Rufus quips. Lily's mouth flips open at her husband's joke.
"Rufus!" He kisses her pout away, laughing against her lips. Lily glares at him and refuses to part their lips to allow him to kiss her deeper. "We will see about that. I still have my lawyer on speed dial just in case."
"Trust me Lil, it took us over twenty years to be together, I am counting on us being married for the rest of our lives."
"I know, I love you." She whispers softly.
"I love you too. Now, let's go celebrate our marriage." He stands up and scoops her off the steps of the fire escape.
"Wait, I want to grab the champagne!" Rufus lowers Lily a little so she can acquire the beverage. She holds the bottle close to her and wraps an arm around her husband's neck. They volley kisses back and forth until he reaches his bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
Lily wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and looks down at the picture frame she is holding close to her chest. All of the sudden, her door opens just a crack and Alex pokes her head in.
"Mommy? Why you sad?" Alex asks, inching closer to her mother's bed. Lily sets the picture on the nightstand, next to the one she has of her and Rufus when she was pregnant with Alex. There is no use in lying to Alex, the three-year-old has already noticed Lily's tears.
"Come here Alex," Lily coaxes. Alex complies, catapulting herself on the California King. The toddler settles in her mother's lap and looks at the picture.
"Mommy, you and daddy kiss in dat one, 'member?" Lily nods and sniffs. Alex has always been fascinated with that picture, it was inspired the toddler to convince her parents to renew their vows.
"I do remember sweetie." Lily stamps a kiss to the top of Alex's head and binds her arms around her daughter.
"Are you sad 'cause daddy not here?" Alex asks, turning to look at Lily. Lily nibbles on the inside of her cheek. She should not be crying in front of her child, a transgression she has committed time and time again.
"Yeah, I am. Are you?" Lily wants to know how her daughter is feeling. She has already made up her mind that she is not letting Rufus file for divorce. Lily wants to preserve their marriage and family no matter how long it takes.
"I want daddy here, I miss him so much. Is daddy mad at me, mommy? Is dat why he not here wif us?" Lily shakes her head and brushes some tears from her face.
"No baby, daddy loves you so much. He is just…mad at me."
"Why?" There is not much Lily can explain that Alex will understand, but she will do her best to provide her daughter with an answer.
"Daddy and I love each other and you, I want you to know that. Sometimes me and daddy just…don't get along. We thought it was best for you and Noah and your other siblings to be apart until we can get along."
"You say you are sorry, right, mommy? Dat's what you and daddy say to me." Lily stops for a second and contemplates her daughter's question. Her toddler is right, she should say sorry to Rufus for everything that she has done. Rufus said that they made up shortly before her mother died, but Lily has no memory of it. If she really wants to make an attempt at fixing them, she should offer another sincere apology.
"That is a great idea Alex, I should say sorry to daddy." Whether Rufus wants to actually hear her apology is a different story, but Lily is going to make the effort. Alex claps her hands, proud of herself that she thought of a way to cheer her mom up.
"You go now! I go wif you!" Lily hesitates at Alex's declaration. A conversation between her and Rufus would get ugly pretty quickly. Alex does not need to see her parents fighting for the millionth time. However, the toddler already has her heart set on going with Lily to the loft.
"How about this? I ask Kim to babysit while I go talk to daddy?" Lily knows the only way to steer her child away from Brooklyn is to offer her a better proposition. Her daughter adores the nanny and they have become close while Lily has spent time in the hospital.
Sure enough, Kim readily agrees to babysit Alex for a few hours. Lily slips some clothes on while they wait for the nanny to get here. Alex already occupies the majority of the bed with some stuffed animals she brought in from her room.
"Listen Alex, I might not be back until tomorrow, okay? I want you in bed after I leave, it is already way past your bedtime." The toddler juts out her lower lip, but Lily gives her best stern look.
Kim arrives at the penthouse a half an hour after hanging up the phone with Lily. Alex is busy twirling her stuffed animals around while Lily goes downstairs to meet the nanny.
"Okay, I don't know when I will be back, but there is money on the counter. Alex should already be in my bed, but she will probably come down here in a little bit. Thanks Kim, I have to go."
Lily is heading to Brooklyn with a newfound confidence. Of course, Rufus could just slam the door in her face, but she wants to show him that she actually cares about their marriage. It does not have to end so tragically between them. She believes her mother is right, nobody else besides Rufus is meant for her. If this does not work, then Lily will proceed with the divorce.
The closer the car gets to Brooklyn, the more nervous Lily becomes. She is contemplating telling Isaac to drive her back to Manhattan, but decides against it. This is not going to be easy, but Lily just hopes that it is worth it. Her hands are shaking when the car stops. Lily shoves them into her pockets, not wanting her husband to see how apprehensive she is.
She reaches Rufus' door, knocking on it softly. Lily is banking on Rufus being here. Although, he could be at the bar, the gallery or the hospital with their son. Her eyes fill with tears when nobody comes to answer the door. She pivots on her feet and starts heading downstairs when Rufus swings open the door to the loft.
"Lily, what are you doing here?" Rufus asks with exasperation. He thought he made it abundantly clear at the hospital that they were over. Lily throws her head up to control her tears.
"Um…I don't know…I just…I came here to talk."
"What is there left to talk about Lil?" Rufus is surprised that his wife is here and crying profusely. He is wondering why she suddenly decided that they need to have a conversation about their marriage.
"I came here to fight for you and us. I don't want a divorce, Rufus." Rufus licks his lips and furrows his eyebrows together. He believes what she is saying, but it does not really matter anymore.
"Do you want to come in Lil?" Lily nods and steps into the loft, hearing Rufus close the door behind her.
A/N 2: I am so excited for next chapter! I am not giving any hints away this time, I want it to be a complete surprise. Please feel free to speculate and offer suggestions. I am thinking, at the most, four more chapters. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful 2015.