So, Rym has turned into a much more interesting character than I initially thought, and Alex got bold. Enjoy, and please review!
"It's up to you. We are happy to have you if you'd like to stay, but I understand if you're ready to be done for the day."
Olivia rose as she heard Alex's key in the door, and went over to greet her. She took the takeout bag from Alex's hand and set it on the table as Alex took off her jacket and heels. And then she embraced her gently and kissed her. "Hi, sweetie," she said, as she pulled away to smile at Alex. "How was your day?"
"Fine. Mostly paperwork. Cut a deal with Langan for the Watson case over lunch, which I'm not thrilled about, but I don't want to take my chances on that one at trial. He lied to his girlfriend about having lunch with me, which was weird. That's about it. You?"
"Fine. Safa's procedure went okay, and the guys came over to talk to her. I'll give you a rundown on that later. Rym has been a tremendous help with everything."
Alex smiled. "Thank you so much for helping us communicate with Safa. We really appreciate it."
Alex went into the bedroom to change out of her work clothes, and Sarah, who had been standing awkwardly in the kitchen after Rym greeted her in Arabic, scurried off to her room as well. Olivia set out some plates and cutlery, then went to the bedroom where she found Alex pulling a shirt on, and wrapped her arms around her.
"I missed you," she said, kissing the blonde deeper this time.
"I missed you too. I was worried about Safa's procedure."
Olivia briefly recounted the doctor's visit and Munch and Stabler's visit.
"Is Rym staying for dinner?" Alex asked.
"I think so. She's having a hard time pulling herself away. I think this hits close to home for her."
Alex nodded. "Sarah has plans with Jake tonight, so she won't be home. Maybe for the best. I'd like to get to know Rym a bit, and she may not want her students knowing much about her personal life."
Alex took off her contacts and put on her glasses, and then followed Olivia back into the kitchen. Sarah breezed by them. "Bye sweetheart, have fun!" Alex called.
"Bye Alex, Olivia, Anissa Rym," she replied.
"Knock when you get back." Olivia reminded her.
"She's seeing someone," Alex explained to Rym as she opened up the takeout bags from Chez Bébère with couscous and several kinds of tajines. "I didn't know what you liked or if you ate meat, so I got a couple of different options. It should all be halal if that's your preference. Take what you want and there should be plenty of leftovers for us to eat this week. Neither of us cooks much."
Rym took a plate and scooped some couscous on it, selecting a piece of lamb. "Thank you for inviting me." She said.
"It's the least we could do. We appreciate everything you're doing for us, and we know it isn't easy to work on cases like Safa's. It's pretty heartbreaking."
Rym nodded in agreement. "I knew things like this happened, even in Tunisia. But it's not the same as seeing a real girl suffering."
"It's hard." Alex confirmed.
They sat in silence for a moment.
"Rym, tell us about how you ended up in New York." Alex requested.
"I was engaged, back in Tunisia. After I graduated high school. I was starting university, and I was supposed to get married. I couldn't go through with it. So I applied to Columbia on a whim and got a scholarship. I told my family the day before I was due to leave, and broke off the engagement."
"Wow," Alex said. "That took guts."
Rym demeured. "It was easier than being married to him would have been."
Alex nodded in understanding. "Any romantic interests in New York?"
"No," Rym said, looking uncomfortable.
"How did your family take it?"
"They were furious," Rym said. "I didn't go back to visit for 3 years, and the first time I went, he was there. I'm lucky that in Tunisia women can't be married without their consent, or who knows what might have happened." She frowned and looked over at Safa sleeping.
"Have they come to terms with it now?" Alex asked.
Rym shrugged. "It's very embarrassing to them to have a 34 year old unmarried daughter," she said. "People back home assume things. That I'm not 'worthy' of being married. As if the men they married were prizes."
Alex laughed. "Seriously. My parents used to invite their friends' sons over all the time. Cocky trustfund dudebros who were baffled at the fact that I wasn't interested and called me names when I wouldn't date them. Turns out they were right on one account- dyke was a favorite accusation. I'm mich better off."
Rym rolled her eyes and shook her head. "That's not exactly... they'd be happy to date me, because they think I'm going to jump right into bed with them. Being unmarried after about 25 means people think I'm a whore. Because clearly the only reason I'm not married is because they assume I'm not a virgin and that nobody wants to marry me," she said bitterly.
"Rym," Olivia said gently. "That doesn't matter to most men here... unless maybe you're mostly dating Muslim men who care about that sort of thing?"
"Exactly how many of these men are virgins themselves when they get married, anyway?," Alex asked indignantly. "My guess is zero. Fucking misogynistic double standards."
Rym smiled faintly.
"You'd be right. Almost none of them. But... you misunderstand. I am a virgin," she said quietly, blushing. "In New York, I have the opposite problem. Men think I'm a freak. They think they'll be different and they'll get me into bed, and when it doesn't work..." she wiped a tear away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... and on the other hand, you get this," she said, gesturing to Safa.
Alex pursed her lips and reached out to rest her hand on Rym's arm, and Olivia put down her fork.
"It's okay, Rym," Olivia said kindly. "Safa's suffering doesn't mean you can't have your own."
"It doesn't even matter to me anymore. The whole idea of being a virgin on my wedding night. But I waited too long, you know? Now it's like... a fetish for most men."
"The last thing you want is to sleep with someone just to have sex, and for it to be all about him taking your virginity and not at all about you and your needs," Olivia said.
Rym nodded.
"I... regret my experiences before Olivia," Alex said quietly. "My mom hammered in the 'virgin on your wedding night' thing to me, too. She was. Old, wealthy WASP family stuff. And in college, I pressured myself into things I wasn't ready for with someone I didn't love, and... it's just so much better with the right person. Don't waste your time on the wrong ones. Someone is out there for you." She smiled at Rym.
"I know. At home... it's not optional. Tunisia isn't as bad as some other countries, but honor killings are still a thing. And now I've just built it up in my mind. It can't be just anyone at any time now, you know?"
Olivia nodded. "Women attach different levels of importance and meaning to sex. Whatever it means to you - that's okay. Don't tell yourself that your feelings about it shouldn't matter or that it's ridiculous to make it out to be so important. You want a meaningful first experience. You deserve that. Honor it." Olivia said.
Rym laughed nervously. "I don't know why I told you all of this. I've never talked about any of this with my friends. I told a friend once and she told me I was looking for reasons not to have sex. Like I owed to to the guy I was dating to try it."
Olivia shook her head. "You don't owe anything to anyone. You don't need us to tell you that. Unfortunately a lot of women think it's easier to say yes than to say no, even if they don't really want to. Sometimes women having boundaries and sticking to them offends the women who don't or who can't."
"And obviously this conversation stays between us," Alex reassured her.
"Thank you," Rym whispered, wiping another tear.
"No need to thank us. This type of case tends to bring everyone's emotions bubbling to the surface," Alex said.
"Has it ever," Rym said.
"I told you when we started, this one is really hard for us too, and we've both been working on these kinds of cases for years. If it gets to be too much for you, we can give you a break. But we do appreciate all of your help." Alex said.
"Thank you. I'll be okay." Rym said. "I'll let you know if I'm not."
Alex opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. Olivia looked at her questioningly, and she shook her head.
"I should go," Rym said, looking over at Safa, still asleep on the couch. "I told her I would stay until she woke up."
"You've been here all day, Rym. You can go home. She'll understand," Olivia said, putting her hand on Rym's shoulder.
"Why don't you record a message for her on my phone, to say goodbye. I'll play it for her when she wakes up so she understands why you left," Alex suggested.
Rym recorded a message and Olivia handed her her jacket and bag. "Really, thank you for all your help today. I'm sure Safa was reassured with you there," she said.
Alex walked her to the door. She hesitated, then opened her mouth. "I realize this is none of my business," she began, her voice low, leaning out the door. Rym turned around in the hallway.
"And the only reason I'm saying this is because I was 33 before I figured it out myself, so maybe it's never occurred to you before. But your first time, it doesn't necessarily have to be with a man."
"Uh, right," Rym said, blushing, as she turned and hurried off.
Olivia and Alex cuddled for a long time in bed, skin against skin, gently stroking each other's arms.
"How are you feeling?" Alex whispered in Olivia's ear.
Olivia smiled against Alex's ear. "Really nice," she whispered. "I stopped bleeding, finally, so I'm feeling a lot better. Now it's just a bit of spotting."
"Does that mean you can..." Alex asked.
Olivia shook her head. "No. Doctor said 4-6 weeks regardless. Why, do you want anything?" She asked mischievously.
"Just this," Alex said, snuggling in. "But I've been thinking about how much you've given to me. How much you nurture me. And I feel like... I want to do the same for you, more. For so long, everything's been about me and my... baggage."
Olivia kissed her forehead. "No it hasn't. It's been about both of us, getting closer and getting to know each other, emotionally and physically. Respecting the unpleasant experiences in your past isn't 'making it about you.' You say that like it's narcissistic to accept care from me. And our relationship is at least half about you. That's how it should be." She winked.
"I just... I feel like sometimes you don't let me take care of you in the same way you've taken care of me. Like not letting me stay at the hospital with you. You never left my side when I was in the hospital."
"Alex, yours was a lot more serious than mine was."
"Liv, you're missing the point."
"Okay. What's the point?"
"The point is I love you. I want to be with you. And it's safe for you to be vulnerable with me. To need me. To let me take care of you once in a while."
Olivia nodded. "I know," she whispered, choking up.
"So when I offer to give you a massage, or... take care of you sexually, even if I don't want anything for myself... can you please... not deflect? Not try to always make it reciprocal? It doesn't always have to be."
Olivia nodded. "I'll try," she whispered. "I didn't know you felt that way."
Alex kissed her. "Liv, I love you. And I know you have a hard time opening up, and especially saying what you need. And what you want."
"You. I want you, just as you are."
"I know. But would you tell me of you wanted something particular? Support? Something sexual? Or would you decide it's not a big deal and not want to bother me?"
Olivia swallowed and closed her eyes for a minute.
"Liv..." Alex brushed her cheek.
"I'm not used to anyone taking care of me. Nobody ever really has."
"I know, sweetie. But I will. I want to. Please let me." Alex paused. "And in case you were wondering, I timed this on purpose for when you were a bit out of commission so there's not any pressure. Just think about it."
"About... telling you what I want, when I'm better?"
Alex nodded. "Liv, I don't know if you realize this but I don't think you've ever suggested something you wanted to try in bed. Like, something you want me to do for you. I might be shy sometimes but I'm not timid and fragile like I used to be."
"Lex, I know you think I have all this experience, but I promise I don't have some hidden repertoire of sexual moves I'm hiding from you."
Alex raised an eyebrow.
"When you have short relationships and one-night stands, it's not like you're trying out fancy positions."
"Fair enough. So why don't we make a date when we pull out that book we have and take a look. See what we want to try."
Olivia nodded. "Okay. Whenever you want."
"You are worthy of being taking care of. And pleasured. And loved." Alex kissed her gently. "And I love you."
"I love you too," Olivia said, and tirned out the light.