Chapter 21
Johnathan dumps some heavy angst, Sioux makes Eddie an peace offer he can't refuse. . .if he wants to live.
Sioux & Johnathan
After a long soak and fooling around in the tub, Sioux finally had the good sense to order much needed substance from room service. Now they looked at each other across the small table that held the crumbs of their meal. Head in her hands Sioux just drank in the sight of him in a hotel white robe, smoking and looking back at her. They had gotten to the place where they could just sit and gaze at each other without words, volumes spoken in their silence.
'You never answered my question.' Johnathan said.
Sioux smiled slowly.
'Sometimes words are not needed.'
'So we're okay?'
'What do you think?'
'I think this is the most comfortable I've ever been with a woman in my life.'
'Ditto.' she smiled.
'Comfortable with a woman?' He teased.
She shook her head, placed the sparse remnants their dinner on a tray, walked to the door, and it left it in the hall. She dropped her robe, turned off the lights, climbed into bed, and beckoned him to join her. He put out his cigarette, dropped his robe, and crawled in with her.
She tucked him under her chin and rocked him slowly. Sometime later, she felt wet on her neck. She reached for a corner of the sheet that lay over them and wiped his face gently, as he finally started let go some of the grief he had been carrying for so long.
'Can you tell me?' She whispered.
'Phil'
'Tell me 'bout Phil' She rocked him and waited for him to speak.
'He wasn't that much older than me and Andy but he was such a legend, we'd known him for so long, we looked up to him like a Dad. Dad went so fast. I wasn't there when he passed. I was there in the hospital for almost two weeks, with his boys Josh and Jake, looking at Phil's MRI's, talking to his doctors, holding his hand' He gulped and Sioux held him tighter, massaged his back, rocking.
'It was opies, Phil and I talked a lot. I knew Phil was in real bad shape, and so did he. He told he just hoped he could finish the season. I told him to get off at St. Paul and see a doctor, but he was a tough guy. I didn't tell nobody, Phil made me promise I wouldn't. I just knew he was gonna die out there. I started having whadda call 'em? Yeah, panic attacks that would come out of nowhere. I'd just start to shake, my heart would race, and I couldn't breathe. Scared me so bad I bailed on Andy in the middle of the season with some bullshit that I was tired and done. Truth is I ran. Phil was gonna die out there. I couldn't deal with it. I booked a flight to Mexico and ran. I'm not proud of that.'
Sioux remained silent. There was nothing to say. It was his story to tell.
'I was in the Anchorage airport waiting for my connecting flight, when Andy called and told me Phil had suffer a massive stoke during the offload and had been medivacted to Holy Cross in Anchorage. . . where Dad died.'
He clutched her tighter and told her about the last days with Phil, how he was doing better, and how Phil told him to go catch a NASCARrace.
'. . . and he died the next day Sioux. I wasn't there for him, just like I wasn't there for Dad when he passed. Josh is going through a rough time and I have to be there for him, but sitting with him and his pain, just takes me back to . . .Dad. . .Phil. . .'
'Shhhh. You were a good son and a good friend. And you'll be there for Josh. I'll help you.' She brushed his hair, rocked, and murmured.
'Loss is hard. But grief is even harder. You think you're done with the grieving, and then flares up again. It's like a camp fire you think you put out, that flares up when another loss hits the embers, and it blazes again.' He nodded and yawned.
He was suddenly exhausted, and held her closer. Hard to say if it was the sex, food, tears shed, or being rocked by Sioux, that lulled him for the first time in a long time, into a sound deep, deep sleep.
Sioux
Johnathan was sleeping soundly, she checked the clock, it was 1:30 a.m. She rolled him on his side, rose and threw on some clothes. She stopped, remembering she was now accountable to this man, and scribbled a note she left on her pillow. She stood over him, her heart swelling as she watched him sleep, then slipped out the door.
The bar was still loud and buzzing. She slipped in unnoticed. Scotty and Josh were chatting up some chicks. Andy and Mike were talking with Sig and Edgar. The object of her mission was sitting by himself in a dark corner. She took a deep breath and skirted the crowd to reach him. She slid into the empty chair in front of him. He was so focused on the drink on the table, he didn't appear to realize she had joined him.
'Eddie.'
He raised his head. Both eyes were bruising to black, his bottom lip was split, and nasty lump was forming on his forehead. However, his eyes told her the most throbbing wound was inside. Sioux sat still and waited.
'You know,' He began. 'Over the years we've swapped out a lot of chicks. I swore I knew his taste, and it sure wasn't you. I knew the first time I laid eyes on you things were gonna change. You got what Grandma used to call strong mana (spiritual power) and yours is a little scary if you ask me. Shoulda known better than to take you on. You got all of them Hillstrands and everybody else twisted round your little finger. Well, knock yourself out, it's your party. I just got a job to do.'
Sioux held his eyes. She and he were 'other' their people old and wise, with an abiding respect the power of the spoken word. She hoped he would believe her. She finally spoke.
'He's hurt Eddie. Hurting bad.'
Eddie stared at his watered down whisky, drained it, sighed, and looked up at her.
'Phil?'
She nodded, not surprised at his insight. Still waters ran deep.
He exhaled, leaned back and gave her the respect of a direct, acknowledging look. Sioux locked eyes with him.
'Eddie, tonight he spoke the losses. . . Phil. . .his Dad. His tears washed my breasts.'
Eddie winced, looked away, but continued to listen.
'Look at me! She demanded.
I tell you this, to tell you. . . I will not leave him. He is my destiny. We are bound. We are Uhane hoas (soul mates). .' Eddie was startled at her use of a Hawaiian word, especially that one.
'I don't want to come between the two of you. You have stood with him, a good and faithful friend for more than twenty years. But hear me,' And Sioux leaned in close.
'Do not try to come between me and this man again. He is mine. I am his. Do not disrespect our Pilialoha (bond of love). Make no mistake, I will be a formable hoa paio (enemy). What we have is old and deep. True and pure. It would give me no pleasure my brotha, but if you come for us again. . .Eddie Uwekoolani Jr. . . I will destroy you.'
She rose and left.
River of Tears - Eric Clapton
It's three miles to the river
That would carry me away,
And two miles to the dusty street
That I saw you on today.
It's four miles to my lonely room
Where I will hide my face,
And about half a mile to the downtown bar
That I ran from in disgrace.
Lord, how long have I got to keep on running,
Seven hours, seven days or seven years?
All I know is, since you've been gone
I feel like I'm drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.
Drowning in a river.
Feel like I'm drowning,
Drowning in a river.
In three more days, I'll leave this town
And disappear without a trace.
A year from now, maybe settle down
Where no one knows my face.
I wish that I could hold you
One more time to ease the pain,
But my time's run out and I got to go,
Got to run away again.
Still I catch myself thinking,
One day I'll find my way back here.
You'll save me from drowning,
Drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.
Drowning in a river.
Feels like I'm drowning,
Drowning in the river.
Lord, how long must this go on?
Drowning in a river,
Drowning in a river of tears.