Chapter 20

This one's more of an interlude than anything, hence how brief it is.

The Quadrant arrangements seemed to, for the most part, be working.

Rose was relieved that things were going well. She honestly didn't know how she would be able to handle training up two trolls who couldn't stand the others' presence without some distraction for them.

John seemed to be more petulant of the two, apparently still smarting over the Quadrant leap he was in. He rarely conversed with Gamzee other than to show his disdain with the situation, and more than once, Rose had to give him a warning glare whenever he had a blunt object in his hand and Gamzee's back was turned.

His behavior was becoming a source of concern for her. The bright light in his eyes was dimmed, his temper was on a hair-trigger, and he growled more than he talked. The only time he relaxed was when Jade came in to calm him down, turning into a barkbeast under her paps and horn-scritches.

Even outside of the training, he remained detached from the others, and even the Alternian trolls seemed troubled by seeing the bright, chipper John they had been introduced to being reduced to this brooding spectacle.

After a particularly tense session of her having to stop a snarling match between John and Gamzee, Rose retired to her sitting room, cracking open the liquor cabinet and getting a few drinks she developed that gave her the buzz without the addictive effect. She was on her second bottle when Kanaya found her.

"…I'm supposing things have not been going well," Kanaya said, sitting down quietly. Rose snorted, taking a swig from the bottle.

"No," she said, rubbing her temples. "It's not. To be honest, I thought Gamzee was going to be the problem…but he's been cooperative and manageable. That kismesissitude with Dave has done wonders for his excess aggression."

Kanaya sat down next to her, smiling a little. "That's true. Though I don't think Dave was expecting a genuine reciprocation. I do recall pitch feelings between Gamzee and my world's Dave…if it only weren't so unhealthy and one-sided." She cleared away the empty bottle and took the half-empty one form Rose's hand.

Rose didn't protest. "But JOHN…he's…UGH!" She rubbed her head. "I was SO STUPID. ALL I seem to do is just HURT him! I'm a SHIT moirail, Kanaya!"

"Rose, stop that talk right now!" Kanaya scolded, taking Rose's hands from her head. "It's plain to anyone that you had a very good moiraillegience with John. But time and circumstance changes relationships all the time. John has been spoiled with such a good moirail that he's a bit emotionally unable to accept it right at this time. But he will, trust me." She smiled. "You've done nothing wrong, Rose. Changing the moiraillegience to an auspisticism was the right choice."

Rose wiped her eyes, nodding. "You're right," she replied softly. "…Too often, I take John's emotional consideration with no regards to my own. I just…I still feel so guilty about this happening to him. It's my fault that we even need this to begin with."

"Perhaps so," Kanaya conceded. "But it's time to move on. John has no ill will toward you for what happened to him sweeps ago, so you should replace that guilt with determination to make this work." She paused, then hugged Rose tightly. "I know all about guilt and what I should have done and feeling like I've failed at something important. But I move on and try to make things right. You're strong, Rose, stronger than perhaps I'll ever be. You can do this."

Rose smiled, hugging her back. "Thank you, Kanaya," she said. "I needed that."

Kanaya smiled. "Take it from an experienced auspistice," she replied, "even we need our support." She kissed Rose's forehead, pausing before blushing bright white. Rose giggled, poking Kanaya's cheek.

"Always wanted to be a rainbow drinker," she said, smiling. "All glowing and pretty-like. You lucky ducky, you." Kanaya laughed, her blush light dampening down.

"That's one way to put it, I suppose," she said, corking the bottle and putting it back into the cabinet, closing it up. "Come on now. You need rest, and those boys need to get a grip." She helped Rose up, walking her to the Grimdark's respiteblock.

Rose walked in silence, smiling softly. "…Your Rose is a lucky girl," she said under her breath. "If only I had a matesprit half as wonderful as you."

Kanaya swallowed hard, pretending she didn't hear as she opened the door. "…good day, Rose," she said. She turned to go before pausing and giving Rose a quick kiss before hurrying out.

Rose's cheeks turned dark purple as she tried to determine if she had imagined it or not, settling on slipping into her recuperacoon and closing her eyes. If it wasn't real, she could at least pretend it was.