"I can't study anymore. My brain hurts."
Looking up at Jason, all of our faces were echoing his sullen face. Ryan closed his textbook and Sharpay put down her pencil. Zeke rubbed his face and I hit my forehead on the spine of my book.
"Woah, Stop. No damaging the brain Taylor." Chad said.
Glaring at him, I closed my eyes. "Why are we studying again? I mean come on its senior year, we aren't supposed to be stressing like this." Sharpay cried out.
"Uh because we still have to pass our finals for this semester to keep our GPA up for college?" Troy questioned.
"Bolton, go be smart somewhere else." Sharpay flipped her hair over her shoulder and pulled out her phone, clearly checking her Facebook.
Pushing my chair back, I stood up and walked away from the table. Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed a plastic cup and filled it up with tap water. Sipping it gently, I looked out the kitchen window and looked at the green grass. Even though it was in the dead of winter it was at least 65 degrees outside. Hiding a yawn, I leaned up against the sink and let myself get lost in my thoughts.
"You doin' okay sweetheart?"
Not turning to face the voice, I nod my head. "Yeah I'm fine Chad. I'm just really sleepy today."
"Didn't sleep well last night?" Chad grabbed a plastic cup and filled it up with water as well.
"Something like that. Nightmare, after nightmare."
Chad nodded his head and looked out the window with me. "Makes you sick doesn't it? While other places in the US get snow, we have Florida weather."
Snorting, I drained the rest of my water and rinsed my cup off. Resting my elbows against the counter, I let my head droop in my hands. If I could just take a nap, I'd feel so much better. I closed my eyes.
"What about Taylor having nightmares?" Troy asked.
Chad looked over at me, and without opening my eyes I nod my head. "Taylor didn't sleep well last night, she had nightmares."
"About my mother screaming for my help and why didn't I help her. And Star being choked to death by my dad and her coming back from the dead trying to kill me as well. Then my dad chasing me off of a cliff and I continuously falling to my death. No matter how many times I woke up in the middle of the dream it would continue right from where I left off from."
"Geez, that's pretty scary Taylor."
Nodding my head the rest of my friends gathered in the kitchen. Between Troy and Chad my friends were caught up to speed.
"So you stayed up all night?" Gabby pried.
"I climbed in bed with Sarah around six am and I was able to sleep for about an hour and a half then I got up to meet you guys at seven forty-five am and here I am now." I produced a small smile.
"I know what if after finals we have a group sleepover? That way we can all celebrate for doing well on our tests?" Kelsi suggested.
The girls chimed in that they were on board, the guys did too. Only persons that hadn't said anything were Chad, Jason, Ryan and I.
"I'm down."
"Me too."
Gabby looked at me. "Only Chad and Taylor are the only two weenies left. What do you guys say?"
"I'd have to talk to Sarah first. You know since. . "I trailed off.
"Taylor has a good excuse, what's yours Danforth? You not going if Taylor doesn't?" Gabby mocked.
"I was in, till you called me a weenie. Who calls people weenies anymore?"
The group laughed. "Yeah, if Taylor goes Chad will because lover boy won't go anywhere without Taylor being there." Zeke said.
Something inside me made me want to laugh, but I bit the inside of my cheek. Chad does not follow me everywhere. Sure, he does do a lot of checking up on me but that's because he's one of my best friends. I mean Gabby and Shar don't check on me as much as Chad does, but he did go along with my lie from when I hurt myself a few months ago. Besides, it's not like Chad liked me like that. He's been in Italy for two years, the girls he's seen the girls he's dated. No way Chad could want someone as broken as I am.
I could hear clothing being rustled around and when I looked up, the group had smiles on their faces and Chad had a caught look on his face. Looking at Chad's face made me lose my seriousness and I burst into laughs. Chad turned pink and then began to laugh with the rest of us.
"Alright, alright I'm in. Although you guys are going to have to talk to Sarah, she might say no so don't feel bad if she does."
"If Sarah is up to it, we can have it at your house. Doesn't matter where we sleep at, Taylor just has to come." Kelsi piped in.
The group murmured in agreement. "So it's settled then, we have a group sleepover after finals?"
"What if someone does really badly on their finals?" Jason twisted his fingers.
"We have the sleepover regardless if we all bomb our finals with flying colors." I said.
"Yeah. What Taylor said."
"So everyone's in?" Sharpay asked.
"Yes!" Everyone cried out.
"Great. So let's talk party plans."
"Wait, Chad didn't say if he was in or not." I noted.
Everyone turned to Chad. "Chad? What's your stand on the sleepover?" Troy questioned.
"Taylor did say she was coming so no need to play the fence you know." Ryan joked.
"I'm only in if Taylor lets me bring her a gift."
The room got silent. "But you know how I feel about you guys giving me gifts." I whined.
"Only way how I'm going."
Groaning I light smacked Chad. "You would put all that pressure on me." Huffing, I crossed my arms. "Fine. It better be less than twenty dollars. Anything over and I will summon up all the anger I have and be mad at you forever."
Chad wrapped his arms around me. "You can't stay mad at me. I'm too cute. I mean look at me. You cannot stay mad at this face." Chad gave me his puppy dog face and blinked his eyes really slow. With his long eyelashes kissing his bottom lashes, and his full lips puckered out.
God, why do you torture me like this? He knows what he's doing to me. With his full lips and his arms wrapped tightly around me and his scent kissing the air. Why?
"I think I can."
I tried to push Chad away from me, but his arms held me in place and with my hands pressed up against Chad's hard body I couldn't move him.
"God, what is Mrs. Danforth feeding you? You're getting fat."
Chad squealed and released me. "I'm getting fat?" Chad spun around pinching parts of his body. "Someone tell me where."
The gang burst out in hysterics and Chad continued to chase himself around for five minutes before he saw my smile and knew I was kidding. Before I could escape, I was back in Chad's arms but only this time he threw me over his shoulder.
"Put me down!" I cried out.
"Nope." Chad said popping his P and walked out of the kitchen.
"I'm fat; you're going to drop me. Did I mention that I'm afraid of heights? You're a giant and we're high in the sky." I pleaded with Chad.
"You should have thought about heights before you called me fat."
"I was only kidding. You're too handsome to be fat." I replied truthfully.
Did I just seriously call Chad handsome? Crap.
"La La La La I'm not listening." Chad continued to walk me to the dining room of Troy's house and gently set me down in my chair. "Break is over beautiful; you've had your fun now you have to put those brain cells back to good use." Chad handed me my pencil and opened his similar book. "We were on page 131 right?" Chad turned the pages in his book.
I couldn't help but blink. What the hell just happened?
"Hey guys, we're gonna go next door to Shar's house and get the pizza. Do you guys want anything back?" Jason called out.
"No!" Chad and I both cried out.
"Alright, be back in a flash." And with that the voice and the front door closed.
Chad and I worked quietly for a few minutes, until I turned to Chad. "You know I was just kidding right?"
"Yeah I know. I'm sorry."
I tilted my head to the side. "For what? You didn't do anything wrong."
"I picked you up and put you over my shoulder. I forgot about your dad and. . . ." Chad trailed off.
Shaking my head, I put my hand over Chad's free hand. "My dad never picked me up like that. My dad usually was . . . very rough. You were only messing with me. I knew that you were only kidding and that you wouldn't ever drop me."
Chad smiled. "Your right, I wouldn't. I treasure my face and body too much to drop you."
Laughing out loud, I lightly smacked Chad on his arm. "Your full of jokes aren't you? But seriously, you didn't trigger any memories or anything if that's what you're trying to get at. I don't think I've ever had a relapse since I've been with Sarah. Nightmares are only about my dad hurting me or killing me, never anything sexual. I think I've blocked those memories and I've already come to terms with it."
Chad nodded his head. "I understand. I won't do anything to hurt you, but you already know that. And you know that I'm always here for you if you need someone to talk to."
Smiling at Chad, I grabbed his hand. "Thanks Chad. I think I want to tell everyone at the sleepover about my dad raping me too. You know, so it's not a giant shock or anything."
Chad's lips puckered out. "Awe man, then that means you and I will have no secrets anymore between us."
Laughing at Chad I shook my head at him. "Besides Sarah and Carla you'll probably be the first person I tell my secrets to. I'm harboring another secret if you want to hear it."
Chad dug frankly in his pockets. "What are you doing?" I questioned.
Chad produced his wallet and opened it up. He handed me a shiny penny. "A Penny for your thoughts beautiful?"
"You are a goofball to the extreme." Grabbing the penny, I pressed it to my lips and handed Chad back his penny.
"Uh you're supposed to tell me the thought you know."
"I did. I told your penny, and you have the penny now."
Chad looked at me. "And I'm the goofball. Riiiight." Chad put the penny back in his wallet and crossed his arms.
Leaning over Chad, my lips gently touched his ear. Trying not to jump from the shock of electricity, I gently whispered in his ear.
"Shar and Gabby seriously think you should ask someone to prom. I know prom is like months away, but they're going to pester you until you ask someone. Just giving you a heads up."
Moving away from Chad, I bit my bottom lip to help the electricity die down and I buried my nose back in the book.
"Really?"
"Yes. You can't say that I told you or else I have seriously broken the best friend code. And if I go down, you're coming with me."
Chad stuck out his pinkie. "I, Chad Michael Danforth, pinkie promise Taylor Anne McKessie, that I won't say a word to the girls."
"Chad, we haven't pinkie promised since fifth grade."
"Exactly, that way you know I mean business. Pinkie promise me."
Smiling really hard, I stuck out my pinkie and Chad wrapped his around mine. Heat ran through my skin and settled down in my heart. Chad and I shook twice then let go. After smiling stupidly at each other, we went back to studying. Chad and I had probably been studying for at least a half an hour when I placed my head on his shoulder.
"So when 2x is moved over to the 36 and 3y is left alone on the other side of the equal sign then we'll have our answer to that point." I recited.
Chad nodded his head and wrote down what I said. Just as I was about to right myself, Chad shook his head and gently pushed my head back to his shoulder.
"Rest. I can tell you the rest of the work and you just tell me if it's right or not. Sound fair?"
"Sure." I said sleepily.
I closed my eyes with a smile on my face and Chad told me problems while I gave him the steps. Had Chad and I been paying attention, we would have heard our friends creep back in the house with a homemade pizza. Gabby, was the one that wandered into the dining room and found Chad and I in the position we were in. Luckily for Gabby the room had shadows and she crept to a nearby shadow and was able to see Chad writing and my eyes closed and my lips not moving. Gabby dug out her phone and snapped a picture of us. Moments later Chad said the next question and I gave him the steps. Gabby quietly snuck out of the room and showed everyone else.
The rest of the afternoon resulted in everyone stuffing their face with Sharpay's family homemade pizza and studying till our eyes became heavy and sore. Sarah came and picked me up, and my group of friends asked her about the sleepover. Lucky for us, she was in a forgiving mood and said yes.
-four weeks later-
"I can't believe we did it!"
Everyone cheered and sat down on the blankets. "See Jase, we told you that you wouldn't fail with flying colors. You got a B in Math, and an A in English."
"All with your help Taylor."
"Well. . ." I said.
Everyone laughed. I quickly looked at the clock and pretended to be busy grabbing a handful of popcorn. The guys got up for something and that left the girls behind. Gabby sat closer to me, and Shar flanked my other side.
"Chad's on his way Taylor, he had to have dinner with his grandma remember?"
Nodding my head, I grabbed a pillow. "Do you guys remember when I called Chad handsome that one day? Did I really say it out loud?"
"Yeah, you did."
Smacking myself in the forehead I groaned. I can't believe that I actually said it out loud. "If you're worrying about Chad feeling weird that you called him that, he's not losing sleep over it."
"Has he said anything about it?"
The girls shook their head. "But he does seem happier since that day. Don't tell me you kissed him and we missed it."
"Of course not! You know I couldn't bring myself to ever do that. Hell, Chad isn't even interested me like that. I'm one of his best friends. You do not kiss your best friend and live to tell the tale. It's friendship suicide."
"Not really. Troy and I kissed and we were friends before we got together."
"You two don't count. You're the golden couple, you two are meant to be with each other. Chad and I? It's really only a fantasy that won't come true."
Sharpay wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Babe, he'd be stupid not to feel the same way you do. I know you don't believe us, but you don't see how Chad looks at you. Chad's face lights up when you walk into a room let alone when you talk to him. And when you laugh that drives him CRAZY. And when you talk to him, he has the same face that Troy does when Gabby said yes to being his girlfriend."
Shaking my head, I bite my fingernail. "Doesn't matter. I shouldn't be focusing on a school crush I should be focusing on Star and getting the hell away from my past." Looking at the girls, I caught their eyes. "But not too far from my future."
We heard footsteps coming down the stairs but the girls didn't make a move. The guys' eyebrows rose and they gathered around.
"Welcome back." I said
"What did we miss?" Ryan questioned.
"Nothing. I was waiting for you guys to come back. I have more bad news to tell you guys."
No one said a word. "I already told Chad this a while ago and I haven't had the courage to tell you guys yet. But I have it now. Along with my dad beating me he also raped me several times."
"Chad thought he triggered a reaction the day that we studied at Troy's but he didn't. Like I told Chad, my dad was quite rough with me. Usually it happened when he was drunk and it happened a few times when he was sober but fear not Carla believes that I've come to terms with it and my brain has blocked it."
"Taylor. . ."
"Nu huh, no apologies and no pity looks. Just be normal around me. I'm still the same Taylor, just damaged goods."
The girls looked at me and knew what I meant by Chad wouldn't ever want me. The guys grabbed my hands and gently squeezed.
"Geez, did I miss another heartfelt moment? I hate when that happens."
Everyone turned and looked at the stairs. There stood Chad in his red checkered PJs and white shirt, with a pillow under his arm. After everyone welcomed him and the girls gave him welcome hugs, I gave Chad a shy smile and gave him a heart filled hug. Chad whispered something in my ear.
"I have your gift but I think I should give it to you when everyone goes to bed. Stay up with me?"
Nodding my head Chad let me go and I let him go. For a while everyone was on a buzz of doing well on their finals. We watched movie after movie and no one grew tired I kept my eye closely on the clock. Ten, eleven, twelve and finally one am passed and no one seemed to slow down.
"Why are we all still up? We've only been out of school less than twelve hours and we're barely into break. Shouldn't we have passed out by now?" Kelsi asked.
I nodded my head. "It's like I'm tired but I'm not tired. I don't think that made very much sense."
"It did. I just don't want to go to sleep because I'm having too much fun." Troy said while stretching out.
"I know I feel like such a badass because I'm up past eleven." Kelsi commented.
The group murmured, "Gosh Kelsi." Yawing, I stretched out and couldn't help but cuddle my pillow. I didn't care what my friends said, my pillow was upset that it wasn't sleeping time. if I fell asleep, Chad couldn't give me his gift but sleep was taking over.
"Don't care what you guys say, I'm sleepy and I'm going to bed. You guys can be bad asses all night long; I haven't recovered from my staying up all night studying. I need to get my sleep binge on."
"Normally I wouldn't agree with Taylor, but I'm agreeing. You weenies wore me out. I'm going to bed too." Gabby fussed.
The rest of the group murmured and someone turned off the lights. Clapping my hands, a small light turned on. "That's not going to bother anyone is it? It gets pretty dark down here and trying to find the bathroom would be chaos." No one had a problem with it, and covers were being ruffled and pillows were being punched. I snuggled down against my pillow and let sleep overtake me. If Chad woke me up, he was in a world of hurt.
"Taylor. Pst, Taylor. Wake up."
Moaning, I scooted farther down into my warm covers. Shut up stupid voice. Trying to go back to sleep, I felt the feather soft brush of fingertips grazing my cheek. I could feel a cold chill run across my cheek, then a zip of warm electricity. Sitting straight up, I bonked my head against something and the thing hissed. What was that? Opening my eyes, my eyes were staring right into brown eyes and I knew I had hit Chad with my head. Rubbing my head, and biting my lower lip, I mouthed sorry to him. Chad shook his head and gestured for me to follow him.
Untangling myself, I followed behind Chad up the stairs. I was glad that our basement stairs didn't creak when weight was put on them.
"Will you show me to your room?" Chad asked.
"Uhm. . "
"We won't be but a minute. I promise." Chad had a glittery small bag with him, but hid it behind his back when I focused on it.
Leading the way up the stairs, Chad followed close behind me. Because it was dark in the hallway, I grabbed Chad's hand. Feeling the electricity zip between our hands, I tugged Chad behind me. I quietly opened my door and let Chad slip in first following behind him I quietly closed the door. Bumping into Chad, I moved around him and bent down; swiping my hand in front of a wall, my string of white lights came on.
"Wow."
My room was a mixture of purple and blue walls with twinkling earrings in the wall. When the sunlight came in through the window, my room would twinkle like stars. Rainbows would be present till the last of the sunlight was in the room. Of course like any high school student my walls were plastered with pictures. I didn't have that many, but the ones I did I treasured deeply.
Around the room, I had white Christmas lights strung around the room. I had plugged the lights into a sensor so all I had to do was move near the wall and it would light up my room. My bed sat near a window, but left enough room so I could get out of bed from either the left or right side. I had painted my bed frame to match the blue color of the wall that it rested up against, and I had blue scarves twisted around the frame. Each of the scarves had clear crystals that hung from the material. Those could catch sunlight, but they paled in comparison to the earrings.
My dresser was an off color of amethyst and sat against a purple wall. I had painted my dresser drawers the same color and they were decked with cheap purple jewels. Some of the dresser drawers had black bows glued on them and others just had the jewels on them.
My desk sat opposite of my dresser on a blue wall and was painted blue. I had to mix and match because there wasn't a blue desk chair that matched the color of my walls, so I had to settle for purple.
"Feel free to look around."
"And you wouldn't let us see this?"
"Correction, everyone has seen my room but you."
Chad stuck his tongue out and moved around my room. He admired just about every picture and looked at the ones on my nightstand. When he saw a picture of me, Star and my dad when Star was born Chad looked at me. He wanted to say something but he didn't. Instead he smiled when he saw the picture of him and I at Sharpay's birthday party hula hooping. When he saw, the frame that said Best Friends Chad's smile grew even bigger.
"You have pictures of everyone in here."
"Only the ones that matter." Chad continued to look through the pictures but stopped short. "I know you're going to ask, where's the picture of my mom? Well I'm currently having a frame made and the picture is with the craftsman so he can measure it correctly. All of the pictures that are framed have been handmade, Sarah's gift to me."
"Who would have thought that having a teacher for a parent has its ups?"
Nodding my head, I sat on my bed. Chad took a few more minutes to look around my room then sat next to me.
"Gosh, now I don't want to give you the gift. It's not going to match the walls well."
Shaking my head I looked at Chad. "Is it a poster of you or something?" I joked.
"Actually no." Chad bent over and grabbed the glittery bag. "Open it."
Looking at Chad, I grabbed the bag and moved the tissue paper out of the bag. When I had moved all of the tissue paper, what lay in the bottom of the bag made me gasp.
"Chad, it's beautiful."
"I made it myself."
Pulling out a dream catcher, it glittered like the bag it came in. The dream catcher was white and it had a few crystals woven in. The feathers were white, and the beads were clear.
"I made it so that way you can have better dreams. Every single string has good dreams and it should chase away any more bad dreams that you have."
"Thank you Chad." I threw my arms around Chad's neck and hugged him tightly. Chad hugged me back just as tightly.
I let Chad go and he let me go. Jumping up on my bed, I stretched on my tippy toes and hooked the loop of the dream catcher on a hook. Standing back on my feet, I quietly stepped off of my bed with Chad's help.
"Let's go back downstairs."
Before Chad made a move to the door and before I could stop myself I lifted myself up on my tippy toes and my lips met Chad's cheek. Chad stopped and lightly touched his cheek.
"What was that for?"
"One, for making me a dream catcher. Two, because I hit you with my head earlier."
"Oh well. Thank you."
See, I knew Gabby and Shar were setting me up to fail. Now I've made a fool of myself in front of my best friend.
"I'm sorry if that was awkward. We can pretend that it never happened. I won't say anything or mention this to anyone-"
While I was in mid-sentence, Chad had brought himself a little closer and before I knew it, he had planted a kiss on my forehead.
"Not awkward at all. That kiss made my cheek feel better, thanks beautiful." Chad murmured against my skin.
I was glad that my lights had gone out because Chad would have seen that my cheeks had begun to turn red. Opening the door, with Chad's hand in tow we walked back downstairs. Before Chad went to his pillow, Chad grabbed me whispered goodnight to me and kissed my forehead again. Instead of a fast kiss like he had given me minutes before, this kiss was a lot longer. When he let me go, he helped me step over our friends' bodies and waited until I was under my covers. Chad walked to his pillow and climbed under his covers. I closed my eyes and went to sleep with a smile on my face.
That night I dreamed of my younger days with Chad, and the days when everything was fine with my dad. And I dreamed that Star and I were together again.
Okay, Okay I'm sorry guys. I don't know if you guys like long updates or prefer short ones; when you leave your review please let me know. Big Sister will be updated soon, I promise. Everyone likes a little Chaylor fluff yes? Who doesn't? I hope you enjoy this, happy reading.