Love is a Battlefield, Volume 1

by CommanderHusky

The boys from South Park have gone trough a lot together, but now, as they start their teen years, a lot of things change. Multi volume, multi chaptered novel focused on the lives of the four main boys from South Park as they discover new things about themselves. Mostly focused on Kyman. Angst, comfort, hard themes and lots, lots of fluff. Rated M but with some MA content later

21. Chapter 21

Love is a Battlefield

Volume 1 Chapter 21

Love me again

Eric felt himself leaning forward and for a moment, the only thing he could acknowledge was the image on his mind, that had been burned inside it, not with the fire and pain that many other images had been burned into his mind, but with a warmth and shine that assured him that even if he should lose all his memories, that image would still be there, unmovable, until the end of times.

Then, suddenly, he felt something stopping his movement. At first he didn't understood what was happening, then slowly, he felt something that was clutching him from under his arms and holding his body still. His senses started to wake up again and soon enough, he realized that there were a pair of hands grabbing him from behind, preventing his fall and hurting him a little in the process.

For a second Eric didn't knew what to do, he clearly wasn't expecting something like this. Then the rage and pain took over him again and he started to struggle against the hold of those hands, but they seemed to be too strong for him. Slowly, his hearing came back as a somewhat familiar voice yelled behind him - Stop it! Dammit! Stop moving you crazy bastard! -

Eric stopped his struggle and stood still, the hands were still clutching him tightly and his armpits and chest were really aching from it. Somehow he managed to say with a raspy voice - Release me -

- No way! I'm not letting you do this! - The voice on his back yelled again. It was really close and sounded really stressed and desperate - Come over here! Please! -

Eric slowly recognized the voice, but he didn't remember having heard it so desperate and pleading before - Stan, let me go, please - Eric said slowly, defeated.

- I'm not letting go of you! - Stan replied yelling again - You're gonna step inside with me now! - The boy sounded demanding and harsh, but Eric could feel the fear in his voice.

The chubby boy knew that if he really wanted, he could easily free himself from Stan's hold, but he started to fear that the stubborn mule could even come down with him instead of releasing him. Eric sighed loudly - I'm coming with you... - He started to turn around but Stan's clutch didn't let him do it so he yelled frustrated - I'm coming with you idiot! Just let me go so I can get there! -

- I'm not letting you go until you're on this side of the railing! - Stan growled back, holding the chubby boy even tighter.

- Ouch! That hurts you fucker! - Eric whined, but knowing that Stan wouldn't let him go he just sighed - Okay... We're doing it your way... -

The chubby boy struggled to sit on the railing, almost raising Stan from his feet in the process and then, losing his balance, they both dropped back to the floor. Fortunately, Eric managed to shift his body a little so he wouldn't fall on top of the black haired boy, that could have really hurt him.

They laid on the floor for a couple of seconds and then Eric managed to sit with his back against the railing. Stan looked at his friend and quickly moved in front of him, holding him by the shoulders.

Annoyed, Eric said - Let me go already, I'm on this side now -

- I won't take any chances - Stan replied with a serious tone, then his eyes filled with concern and asked - What the hell were you thinking? What happened? -

Eric just stared at him for a while, not knowing how to answer the question. Then, his mind started to fill again with the images of his fight with Kyle and suddenly he started to cry loudly.

Stan stared at his friend crying his heart out, he had never seen him crying like this, not even that time at the basketball court, although then it had been pretty close, but now it looked like Eric didn't cared at all who could hear him. The black haired boy felt his heart overflowing with sadness and not knowing what else to do, he decided to just let his friend to cry as much as he needed.

After what seemed like an eternity to Stan, the crying started to subside and Eric just sobbed a little, then me mumbled something that Stan couldn't hear - What? - He asked coming closer to his friend

- K... Kyle... - Heard the chubby boy saying between sobs.

- What? What happened? Did something happened to Kyle? - Stan asked really worried.

The bigger boy shook his head from side to side and said again between sobs - Kyle... Hates... Me... -

Stan stared at his friend in shock. What could have happened between them to make Eric try to kill himself? The black haired boy felt the sorrow of his friend and said - Come on, let's get out of here - He started to stand up but then saw that the chubby boy was still like a rock, the only movement he could see was his chest jumping a little from the sobs the boy was still making.

Stan sighed and crouching again, grabbed his friend's arm and put it around his own shoulders, then he tried to raise the bigger boy but it felt like he was trying to raise a car with just his bare hands. He plopped down again and huffed - Hey... Give me a hand here... We gotta leave this place... -

Eric stared at him with empty eyes for a second and then nodded a little before he started to raise himself with the help of Stan and soon they were on their feet. Stan almost regretted doing that because now it seemed that all the weight of the bigger boy was resting on his shoulders. Huffing again said - Hey dude, I can't do this alone you know? Help me a little -

Eric sighed, looking at the floor and silently started to drag his feet forward, easing the weight on Stan's shoulders but letting the black haired boy guide him since he had no place to go to.

After crying for what it had seemed an eternity, Kyle slowly regained his senses and sat on the floor, leaning against Eric's house, breathing heavily and clutching the little box against his chest.

He remained like that for a couple more minutes, trying to calm himself down and then stood up and slowly walked to the fence. With some effort, he climbed it and stepped out from the Cartman residence.

The red haired boy felt his feet and his head heavy as he walked towards his house, not paying any attention to his surroundings. His mind could only think about the pain and sadness in the chubby boy's face as horrible things escaped his own mouth. It dawned on Kyle that no matter how bad he could have felt about thinking that Eric had lied to him, he had done something even worse. He had betrayed his boyfriend, not by lying to him, but by loosing his trust in him. Even knowing how important trust was to the bigger boy. Then, the image of Eric stomping on the kitchen counter the day that he thought Kyle didn't trusted him came like a flash to his mind and the red haired boy started to feel his heart filling with desperation. What if Eric tried to hurt himself again?

Kyle started to walk faster and soon he was running towards his own house. He didn't knew what else to do. Running as fast as he could and even if he felt his body screaming him to stop, he just kept moving out of desperation. After just ten minutes, he reached his house and opened the door violently. He dropped his backpack on the floor and ran towards the phone. Kyle knew that if he called to Eric's cell his mother would see it, but he didn't cared at all, he just wanted to reach his boyfriend in any way he could. He reached for his own phone and looked trough the contacts quickly, then he dialed Eric's number and waited holding his breath. The tone rang time and again, until the tenth time when the answering machine picked up the call and Kyle's heart dropped as the computer generated voice told him to leave a message. He hung up and then tried again, and then a third time, always with the same result. He tried a fourth time and then left a message - Eric, I know that I was an idiot just now but please answer me, I need to know that you're okay. Please... - His voice was about to crack but he tried to sound loud and clear.

Just as he was hanging up, Ike came over - I thought I had heard someone coming in and... - He stopped, looking at his brother and then said - Kyle, what happened? -

The red haired boy realized that it should seem obvious that he had been crying and maybe his face was showing his desperation too. He tried to calm down and said - Ike I... Please don't tell mom and dad about this okay? I'll tell you later -

Ike nodded and Kyle went to the bathroom to clean his face, now that his brother had brought him down to earth, he knew that it would be worse for him if his parents would notice his state and started to ask questions. The red haired boy washed his face with cold water and then stared at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were still showing despair and he felt a deep hate towards himself, he knew that this was all his fault for once again jumping into conclusions, not even letting his boyfriend explain himself. The doubts and anger towards him started to appear again but Kyle dismissed them with fury, right now his priority was to know if Eric was okay.

Kyle closed his eyes and breathed deep a couple of times. Trying to calm himself and to mask his feelings, he looked at the mirror again and felt ready to come out. Stepping out of the bathroom, his father stopped him at the hallway - Hey Kyle, I didn't knew you were here. How did everything went today? -

Kyle looked at him and mustering all his strength said - Hi dad, everything's fine... -

Mr. Broflovski gazed at him with a slight frown and asked - Are you sure? -

Kyle sighed internally, it seemed he wasn't such good an actor as Eric after all - Yeah dad. Um... I gotta make a call... -

- Sure... - His father replied - Go on -

Kyle went back quickly to the phone and looking around to make sure that nobody was around, he dialed Eric's number again. Once more, the answering machine told him to leave a message and he had to repress a sob - Eric, I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said. I really want to know if you're okay now... Just... Call me back, please... I... I love you... - He hung up and sighed.

Then, he called to Eric's house, maybe he could have returned by now, but the phone rang until the line hung up on itself. Kyle tried a couple more times but it was useless. Then, he thought that maybe one of his friends could know where Eric was, so he first called to Kenny's house - Hello - Kenny's mother answered.

- Hello Mrs. McCormick, it's Kyle Brofloski here... Is Kenny there? -

- Sure, let me put him trough - Kenny's mother replied and after a few seconds Kyle heard - Hey Kyle -

- Hey Kenny... - Kyle said - Do you... Do you know where Eric is? -

- No... I haven't seen him since earlier at school - The blond boy answered - Why? Something happened? -

- Aw man... - Kyle complained exasperated - I've tried to call him to his house and to his cellphone but he hasn't picked up any... -

- Kyle, you sound really nervous - Kenny sounded worried now - What happened? -

- I can't tell you right now dude, I'm sorry - Kyle hastily replied - I'll tell you when I can. Just... If you know anything about Eric, let me know okay? -

- Sure - Kenny said.

- Thanks - Kyle replied - I gotta go now -

- Bye... - The blond boy said and hung up.

Kyle hung up too and then dialed the number of Stan's home, after a couple of ringings, Stan's mother answered - Hello? -

- Hello Mrs. Marsh - The red haired boy said, his desperation growing again - It's Kyle Broflovski. Is Stan there? -

- Let me see... - Mrs. Marsh replied. Kyle could hear muffled sounds and then she picked up the phone again - I'm sorry Kyle, he's taking a shower now, do you want me to tell him something? -

- Um... Could you tell him to call me? -

- Sure sweetie - Mrs. Marsh answered. Kyle jumped a little hearing that word. He had heard many people calling him like that before, but now, that word had another meaning to him, one that now was making him feel sadness and regret.

- Thanks Mrs. Marsh... - Kyle sighed and then hung up.

The red haired boy was a at loss of ideas now. He tried again calling to Eric's house and cellphone with no luck and then just went to the couch on the living room and fell on it with a whirlwind of thoughts inside his head.

Half an hour later, his mother called him to dinner and gathering all his might, Kyle got up and tried to act as normal as he could during the whole dinner. His father was still looking strangely concerned at him, but fortunately, his mother didn't seemed to notice anything wrong and so Kyle didn't had to answer any uncomfortable questions. He couldn't eat either, he just played with his food a little and then excused himself saying that he wasn't hungry and that he wanted to get to bed early.

Kyle went to his room and fell on his bed, feeling the need to run again to Eric's house to see if he was in there. The anxiety was killing him but he knew that if Eric wasn't home, he didn't have the slightest idea of where the boy could be. So Kyle just waited in his room, trying to not let the desperation win over him. The red haired boy was feeling dizzy and knew that all the commotion of the day, all the sadness he felt now and to round it all, that he hadn't eaten since lunch, was starting to take effect on his body so he decided to take a shot of insulin so he wouldn't enter into a hypoglycemic fit. After a couple of hours, when he heard that everyone in the house was getting into their rooms, he waited a little more and then sneaked downstairs and went to the phone.

Once again he dialed Eric's cell number but this time, the answering machine picked up the call immediately. Kyle knew that it meant someone had turned off the cellphone, and that gave him a minimum relief, maybe Eric wasn't hurt, maybe he just didn't felt like answering the phone and after a while he had just decided to turn it off.

Kyle then tried again to call to Eric's house but again the phone rang and no one answered it. Finally, feeling beaten Kyle went up again quietly and got inside his bed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep but at least he tried to calm down and just waited to see if the morning could bring a little hope to him.

It was four in the morning, Kyle was now sitting on his bed, his back against the headstand and his eyes gazing forward but not looking at anything at all. Obviously he couldn't sleep, the images from what had happened that afternoon going on and on inside his head, sometimes mixing with horrible images of Eric crying alone somewhere dark and cold, or the even worse images of the chubby boy laying still on the ground, his eyes closed and his chest immobile... But those images made Kyle feel his heart stopping and so whenever that tried to appear, he pushed the image with all of his might and tried to replace it with something else, anything.

Even with that violent battle going inside his head, on the outside, Kyle looked completely calmed, but it was just an illusion, he wasn't calm, he was just numb, almost in a catatonic state. He felt the need to cry, desperately since he had gone into his room after dinner, but the despair he felt for not knowing anything about how or where Eric was in that moment, and the self hate he felt prevented him from that. He didn't deserved to cry, he had done something horrible and now it wasn't the time to feel sorry for himself.

the red haired boy was thinking again and again about how to, at least, know if Eric was okay. He knew that the chubby boy was probably hurt, but he needed to know that the boy wasn't at least physically hurt. It didn't mattered if he couldn't speak to him and tell him how sorry he was, he just wanted to know if his boyfriend was still breathing...

Suddenly, he thought about calling again to Eric. Kyle turned his head towards the bedroom door and stared at it, trying to decide and gather the strength to go downstairs and make the call, but then he thought it was probably a bad idea. Eric's cellphone was off the last time he had called to it and there wasn't any reason for it to be on now, and calling to his house would probably have the same result as earlier, whether it from the house being empty or Eric not wanting to pick up the phone.

Reaching that conclusion, Kyle's eyes started to wander around the door, aimlessly, and then they landed on the nightstand beside his bed, a glimpse caught his attention and he realized that it came from the little box that Eric had given to him and that had been resting there since Kyle got to his room. The boy stared at it for a while, his eyes empty and his heart feeling cold as ice, barely beating.

Slowly, almost weakly, Kyle reached a hand towards the box and hesitantly grabbed it. Then he brought it closer to him, holding it near his chest. For a moment he was completely still, until he felt tears running down his face and lading on his lap and some of them on the little box. Suddenly, like if his chest had burst, he started to cry, his whole body shaking and his throat hurting from the pressure of the cry and the knot that had been there since he had reached his room earlier.

Somehow, Kyle realized that he was still in his house and that if he kept screaming like that his parents would come to see what was happening. He didn't really cared about that, but almost instinctively he fell to his side and curled up until his knees almost touched his head, muffling the sound of his cries and keeping the box tightly pressed against his chest. He cried desperately, not knowing for how long, until his mind started to shut itself off and then he couldn't sense anything else.

May 23

Kyle abruptly opened his eyes and his whole body shook a little as if something had startled him, but the room was completely silent. For a few seconds he didn't even knew where he was, until he started to realized that he was still laying on his bed, almost in the same position from last night when his cry had sent him into a restless sleep out of sheer exhaustion.

The red haired boy felt weak, his head ached and his throat was sore. He slowly incorporated on the bed and leaned on the headstand, he felt something hard on his hand and realized that he was still clutching the little box, the gift bow was a little wrinkled now but aside from that it looked exactly like the night before when he had grabbed it.

A sharp stab punctured his heart as he remembered what that box meant and he felt the need to cry again, but it seemed that his body had run out of tears during the night. Kyle remained still for a while, trying to wake up his mind that still seemed to be in a deep slumber. His eyes wandered trough his room and when they reached the window, the light almost blinded him and suddenly he realized that it was morning already.

Kyle jumped a little at that and reached quickly for his cell to see what time it was. The big and white numbers on the phone told him that it was 7:15 am and that made the red haired boy feel the urge to go downstairs and try again to call Eric. He left the bed, his clothes were still on since he had never changed to sleep the night before, and with a little effort he made it to the door. His head felt dizzy and his body weak. After all, he hadn't slept more than three hours and added to that there was all the stress from the last day.

Kyle managed to drag his feet down the stairs, stepping carefully, knowing that the last thing he needed now was to trip and fall down the stairs because of how tired and weak he was feeling. After a long walk, Kyle finally reached the phone and after looking around to see if there was anyone close, he dialed the number to Eric's cell. Again, the robotic voice told him that the cell was still off, but he left a message - Eric, it' me Kyle. I know you probably don't want to talk to me but at least send me a text back, I really need to know if you're okay. Please Eric. I'm really worried for you and I'm sorry about yesterday... I love you... -

He hung up, deeply disappointed and then tried again calling to Eric's house. The phone just rang once more until the line cut itself off.

Kyle didn't knew what to do now, he thought about calling his friends again, but it was probably too early. Then remembered that he hadn't been able to speak with Stan last night and it came to him that maybe the boy had called but since he had gone to bed early his mother hadn't told him about it.

The red haired boy went to the kitchen, where he could hear and smell that someone was making breakfast. When he got there, he saw that Ike was already awake and watching the news as always and that his mother was making breakfast as he had thought.

Kyle asked to her - Mom, did Stan called me last night after dinner? -

Mrs. Broflovski turned around and said - Good morning Kyle, where are your manners? -

Kyle sighed - Good morning mom... -

His mother smiled a little and said - No bubby, nobody called last night... -

Kyle lowered his eyes with disappointment and dropped himself on a chair. His mother served him some breakfast but he didn't even looked at it.

- Is there something wrong bubala? - Mrs. Broflovski asked.

Kyle was starting to answer when he heard the phone ringing. As if a jolt had hit him, Kyle jumped from the chair and ran towards the phone, answering it desperately - Hello? -

- Kyle? -

- Oh Stan! - Kyle exclaimed - I called you last night, I was desperate to ask you if you knew something from Eric... -

- Kyle... - Stan said again.

- I called Kenny but he didn't knew anything and then I called to your house but your mother said you were showering and... - Kyle continued almost not hearing his friend at all.

- Kyle! - Stan raised his voice a little.

The red haired boy was startled by that and stopped talking, then said - What? -

- Kyle I need you to come to my house... - Stan replied drily - As soon as possible -

The green eyed boy felt his heart sinking, from the tone of his friend's voice he knew that something was wrong - What happened? - He asked really worried.

- Just... Come here okay? - Stan replied.

- O... Okay... - Kyle nodded. Stan hung up, not even waiting for Kyle to say goodbye. That made Kyle feel even more concerned, his friend sounded almost upset...

The red haired boy stood there, with the phone in his hand for a while and then, snapping from that, he went to the kitchen and asked - Mom, I need to go to Stan's house now okay? -

Mrs. Broflovski looked at him with visible concern and said - But Kyle, you haven't even had breakfast yet... Is there something wrong? -

- I don't know mom, I just need to go now - Kyle replied, not knowing how to explain the situation to his mother without telling her about everything that had happened.

- Alright bubby... - Mrs. Broflovski replied - But call me once you get there okay? -

- Sure - Kyle nodded and headed quickly towards the door, grabbed his jacket and hat and stepped out of his house.

The red haired boy ran to Stan's house and rang the doorbell. After a few seconds the door opened and Kyle saw his friend standing there. The black haired boy gazed at him for a couple of seconds and then stepped out the door, closing it behind him - Come - Stan said and walked past Kyle towards the street.

Kyle wasn't expecting that and gazed at his friend completely puzzled, but after a couple of seconds he followed Stan to the street walk.

The black haired boy looked at Kyle, visibly thinking on how to start talking but before he could speak Kyle said - Stan, do you know anything of Eric? He hasn't answered my calls and I need to know if he's okay... -

Stan sighed - I saw Eric yesterday at the bridge over the train rails... He... - The boy gulped - He was standing outside the railing and then let go of it -

Kyle felt his legs failing to support him and started to fall to the ground, but Stan held him and managed to put him back onto his feet, although he didn't released him because Kyle didn't seemed like he could stand on his own yet - Is he... - Kyle managed to blurt with a raspy and empty voice.

- I managed to catch him before he could fall - Stan shook his head - Then I brought him over the railing again with me -

Kyle could barely hear his friend, his mind had gone completely blank and his senses were failing. The only thing he could feel was his heart being shredded by icy blades of pain until it almost stopped to beat altogether. He started to faint again and Stan noticing that, grabbed his friend from his shoulders and shook him to make him react. Kyle snapped out with that and looked at Stan through blurry eyes - Where... Where is he... -

- He's in my room - Stan replied almost reluctantly - I brought him here yesterday after that happened - The boy's voice sounded icy and hard to Kyle, he didn't remembered having heard such tone from his friend before.

Stan looked at the red haired boy with a serious expression and asked - Will you tell me what happened between you two? -

The red haired boy stared at his friend for a while, still petrified from the shock - We... We argued... - Kyle answered making a huge effort to even mutter those few words. Stan sighed, seeing that the other boy was still too in shock to say more, so he said - Come here - He motioned towards the curb with his head - Can you walk? -

Kyle nodded slightly and Stan released him and headed towards the curb - Sit - The black haired boy said. Kyle slowly sat at the curb and then Stan followed him. They remained silent for a while and when Stan saw that his friend was breathing almost normally again said - Can you talk now? -

- Yeah... - Kyle quietly nodded.

- Now tell me what happened - Stan replied, still harshly.

- I... I got out early from my classes yesterday... - Kyle started - I saw Eric on that alley with Mack... You remember who that bastard is right? - Stan nodded and Kyle continued - Then I followed Eric to a pawn shop and then I went to the bus stop where he was waiting to go back home... - As he talked, Kyle could feel his body starting to wake up again and it was easier for him to speak. Still, his mind felt numb and he could barely distinguish anything else than Stan sitting beside him - Eric looked nervous, like if I had caught him red handed doing something awful... - A sting of anger appeared on his voice as he remembered what he felt at that time - We took the bus and headed here. When we reached our stop, after leaving the bus I confronted him about what he was doing. I knew he was hiding something from me and I wanted to know what it was - Kyle's voice started to sound more heated and a frown appeared on his face - He started to say that he was just doing errands but I knew that was a lie. I knew he was doing something else and so I told him about what I had saw. He was shocked about me knowing that he had been meeting with that filthy son of a bitch and I asked him if he was buying drugs or something - Kyle's voice was almost a growl now - And he could only manage to say he was selling... Like if that were something better... So I... I yelled at him, I demanded an explanation, I demanded him to tell me what he was doing exactly and what he had bought with the money he got from that bastard - Then Kyle paused and the anger in his face disappeared, replaced by a deep sadness - Then... Then he shoved unto me a box... And... - His voice started to crack - And he told me "Happy Birthday"... - Tears were running uncontrollably now from Kyle's eyes and his words started to mix with loud sobs - I was... Shocked by that... And when I came to my senses he had already ran off... I tried to follow him but he was gone already and I didn't knew what else to do... - His sobs transformed into a loud cry and Stan was having a hard time understanding his words - I didn't wanted this to happen... I was mad and wasn't thinking... I didn't want this to happen... - Kyle kept repeating those last words a few more times, crying louder and louder and having trouble to breathe.

Stan just stared at him, feeling really sad for his friend, but also really upset with him. The black haired boy remained in silence, waiting until Kyle would calm down by himself.

Kyle didn't stopped crying for nearly five minutes, then slowly his cry became quieter until he was just sobbing, trying to catch his breath. Sensing that Kyle could be calm enough now to listen to him, Stan asked - Are you ready to hear what I know now? -

Kyle sniffed and looking at his friend nodded slightly, Stan sighed and continued - After I managed to grab Eric and prevent him from falling, I brought him here. It took me almost twenty minutes to drag him over a couple of blocks, the guy couldn't even walk properly. I had to call my father to come and pick us up. When we came here, I even had to fight with my own parents so they wouldn't try and call Eric's mother or take him to a hospital, he was looking like shit. I managed to get him into my room and told my mother that he needed to be undisturbed. I had to ask her to lie to you if you called, I felt horrible for that, but I knew that you would try to come here if you knew that Eric was with me, and he jumped every time I mentioned your name, so I knew he wasn't ready to see you either. The guy was still like a rock, almost in a trance for a long time, I was desperate and called Kenny to come and help me. Between the two of us, we managed to spoon out of him what had happened - Stan frowned and continued - He told us that you came to him at the bus stop and spoke harshly, like if you were mad at him. Then, when you got here, he says you snapped started to accuse him of lying to you and of being buying or selling drugs with that fucker of Mack. He says he tried to explain it all to you but you just wouldn't let him. Then, you started to yell at him and called him a liar and that you referred to him as "Cartman" which hurt him a lot - The black haired boy's frown deepened and continued - Of course we needed to know the truth about why he was in that alley and he told us all about it. He wasn't doing anything shady or wrong in there -

- So he wasn't dealing with drugs or anything? - Kyle asked with wide eyes.

Stan's frown almost turned his gaze into a glare and said - Of course not! Are you insane? He was selling some of his comic books! -

- What?! - Kyle yelled perplexed - But... -

- He wanted to sell his comics so he could get enough money to buy you a birthday gift - Stan continued with an icy voice - He had sold them on the internet and didn't knew who the buyer was. Then, when he saw that it was that bastard, he almost backed away, but he had so little time then and he really needed the money, so he sold the books and then went to buy your gift, that's why he went to the pawn shop -

Kyle tried to process all that, it did made sense, everything, and now he was feeling stupid. No, that wasn't the right word; he was feeling worse, much worse than ever before. He was feeling like the worst piece of shit in the world. For the first time in his life, Kyle felt like he didn't wanted to live anymore.

He realized that all the bigger boy's actions had been because he didn't wanted to ruin the surprise, and that, even if he hadn't told him all about what he was doing, Eric had managed to not lie at all.

Kyle remembered the little box wrapped in bright paper that his boyfriend had given him. That's why he was smiling and looking so happy when he exited the pawn shop... The red haired boy felt his body going numb again and his heart being clutched by an icy claw while a knot formed in his throat.

Stan waited for Kyle to say something and after a moment said - I don't know why he did all of this so in secret, but the last thing he told me, was that it was important for him to do it that way. After that he started to cry and he didn't stop until around 4 am when he finally cried himself to sleep. Kenny and I didn't left his side, taking turns to watch over him through all of the night. We feared that he could try to hurt himself again if we left him alone... - The black haired boy made a pause and then spoke again, his voice sounding calm but harsh and he was now definitely glaring at his friend like he had never before - Now, I want you to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you Kyle. How could you do this to him? -

The red haired boy looked at his friend and backed away a little, the glare on Stan's eyes hurting him more than any punch could do - I... I lost it... - Kyle slowly started - He had been acting so weird trough the last weeks and when I saw him again yesterday my mind just went haywire and I was blinded by rage. I really thought that he was betraying me, betraying us... Going back into the shit he used to do... - Tears started to flow again down his face - And the attempts he made of explaining things... I couldn't help but to see them as lies... I was furious and at some moment I wanted to stop, but my body and my mouth were acting by themselves out of rage - His voice cracked again.

- You knew how important trust is to Eric - Stan replied - You even told us how you felt that time he reacted violently when he felt mistrusted. You knew perfectly well that he could try something like this when being under such pressure - The rage was starting to show on Stan's voice - And yet you didn't even gave him the chance to explain himself. He's your boyfriend, you're supposed to trust in him and you told all of us and especially to him that you trusted him. You lied Kyle... You lied and that almost got your own boyfriend killed... -

The red haired boy stopped crying with those words and just stared at nothing for a while. His mind wasn't functioning; all he could see was black. He couldn't feel his body and his heart was at the verge of stopping. Then, not knowing where the strength came from, he started to stand up while saying - I should go... -

Stan looked at him surprised by that, then feeling furious he stood up and grabbing Kyle by the shoulders yelled - Where the fuck do you think you're going! -

Kyle stared at him with empty eyes and said with and equally empty voice - I don't deserve to be here... I don't deserve to live anymore... -

Stan gazed at him shocked for a couple of seconds and then with a deep frown and feeling the anger taking over him again yelled - Don't you dare to talk like that! What you don't deserve is to get away from this without fixing the fucking mess you made! - He waited for a response and not getting any he shook Kyle again yelling - Say something! You're not gonna coward your way out of this! Assume your responsibility and help the guy who loves you more than he loves himself! Are you gonna pretend he doesn't exist? Are you gonna walk away from your boyfriend when he needs you the most?! -

Kyle snapped out of his slumber and stared at Stan, the black haired boy felt a little relief seeing a deep sadness appearing on Kyle's eyes, at least he was showing some emotion again and not just that empty stare that made him look dead.

Stan tried to calm himself, he was really angry with his friend now, he was furious, but somehow he knew that Kyle hadn't done anything of that on purpose. He knew that the red haired boy had just been overwhelmed by his past fears and that he had acted without thinking. Still, he was really mad about the whole situation but he knew that he needed to keep a leveled head, being carried away by anger or fear was what had got them all into this mess and he wouldn't help anyone by doing the same.

He took a deep breath and said - Kyle, I won't say that I forgive you for what you did. It was a really stupid thing and you of all people should have given Eric the opportunity to explain himself. But right now what really matters is that you both talk again and make up. Are you really sorry about mistrusting Eric? -

Kyle gazed at him with blurry eyes and managed to say - Yes... -

- Then he needs to know that –Stan replied with a sigh - I don't know if he would want to see you now though... I even hesitated before calling you to come. I don't know how he will react... But I think that the best we can do now is that you go and apologize to him -

Kyle looked down and said - I'm sorry... -

- Save that for Eric –Stan replied a little harshly still. Then he sighed and with a nicer tone said - Come, we gotta fix this -

The two boys went into Stan's house and climbed the stairs heading towards Stan's bedroom. At the top of the stairs, Mr. Marsh was waiting for them and asked - Is everything alright boys? We... Heard you yelling out there... -

- Yeah dad... – Stan answered - We were just... Clearing things out... -

- Right... - Said his father - And Eric? Is he feeling better? -

- We're working on that - The black haired boy said. His father nodded and went downstairs.

Stan looked at Kyle and said - I'll go in first and see how things are going in there - Kyle nodded and Stan entered the room. Kyle could hear muffled voices and after a couple of minutes, Stan walked out and said - You can go inside... Just... Be careful with what you say... -

Kyle opened the door and stepped inside the room. The curtains were closed and the whole room was pretty dark, with just some thin rays of light that managed to pass through some tiny openings between the curtains. The red haired boy could see clearly though, the two figures that were on Stan's bed. One of them was Kenny, he was leaning on the headstand on his side and was gently caressing the other figure, who more than a person, just looked like a huge bulge curled up against the corner of the wall.

The blond boy looked at Kyle and motioned him to stop. Then he got closer to the other person and said softly - Eric... Someone's here to see you... -

- Who? – Eric replied with a raspy voice which made obvious that his throat was sore for spending the night crying.

- It's Kyle... – Kenny replied hesitantly.

Kyle could see Eric shivering under the covers as he whimpered - No... -

The red haired boy felt his heart sinking; knowing that the boy he loved didn't wanted to see him because of all the pain he had caused

- Come on... – Kenny said softly - I know that you want to see him too... -

Kyle could hear the bigger boy sobbing quietly and he wanted to go in there and hug him tightly, but he knew that it was better to wait.

- What do you say big boy? – Kenny asked - Will I have to tell your boyfriend to go away? You know he won't... He wants to talk to you... -

Eric stopped sobbing and sniffed a little - Okay... -

Kenny then motioned Kyle to come closer and the red haired boy walked slowly, trying not to make a sound and sat hesitantly on the other end of the bed.

The blond boy said softly again - Now be brave and stand up Eric. Come on... -

Eric slowly started to move and still pressing himself against the corner, he raised himself a little and stood seated on the bed, looking at the wall. Then, he slowly turned his head towards Kyle and looked at him with a sad and almost frightened gaze, like a puppy that has been beaten by his master, terrified of him but still loving him deeply.

Kyle felt his heart being shredded again at that sight and felt tears trying to come out, but he knew he had to be strong for Eric now, his boyfriend needed him to be strong for both of them. Gathering all his strength and trying not to sound too sad, Kyle said - Hi Eric... -

The bigger boy gulped and visibly uneasy said - Hi... -

Kenny started to stand up and then Eric looked at him pleadingly and said - Don't go, please! - He sounded like a lost child, terrified of being left alone. Kyle couldn't help to let a couple of tears roll down his face, but he quickly wiped them off.

Looking at the bigger boy Kenny said - You'll be ok Eric. I have to leave you two alone so you can talk... - He stood out the bed and said - Stan and I will be right outside the door if you need us - He started to walk and when he passed by Kyle, he shook his head from side to side looking at him. Kyle wasn't sure if the look was of disappointment or just sadness. Maybe both.

Kenny left the room and for a while no one inside made any sound. Eric had turned his head again to the wall and Kyle was looking at him feeling like the most evil and despicable person in the world.

Kyle had no idea of how to start talking; he was desperate to apologize to his boyfriend and hug him again and tell him that it was all going to be alright. But seeing the terrified look that the bigger boy had given to him, he knew that even telling him that, there was a huge chance of Eric never forgiving him.

The red haired boy sighed and said quietly - Eric I... Stan told me about what happened after we... After we fought... - His voice started to crack but he tried to control himself, he took a deep breath and continued - He also told me about what you were doing in that alley... I know now that it wasn't anything wrong like I had thought... I'm really sorry for thinking like that... I'm really sorry for not trusting you... - Kyle gulped, trying to ease the knot in his throat that threatened to leave him without voice - Eric I'm... I'm sorry for yelling at you and telling you all those horrible things. I'm sorry... - He sighed again, trying not to let his voice become a cry - I know that words can't make up for what I did... I betrayed you... But I don't know what else to say - His voice finally cracked against his efforts to control it - I'm sorry Eric, I had never been so sorry in my life... I never wanted this to happen... I... - Kyle couldn't help but to start crying, no matter how hard he tried to keep calmed, the pain he could see on his boyfriend's face was too much for him to handle.

Kyle cried quietly but deeply, tears running down his face onto the floor and his whole body shaking, he was still facing the bigger boy but he couldn't see him due to his eyes being too blurry. For a while they remained like that, Kyle crying and Eric still looking at the wall. Then, slowly, the chubby boy turned his head a little and looked towards Kyle, his face twisted in a painful look and tears falling down his cheeks, gathering his strength quietly said - Why?... -

Kyle jumped a little, startled by the sound of Eric's voice. He tried to breathe deeply and wiped the tears from his eyes - Why what? - Asked making an effort to control his voice again.

Eric stared at him and quietly said - Why did you do that?... - The boy's voice started to crack - I thought you trusted in me... Why did you lied? Why do you still hate me? - The last words came out as the start of a quiet cry and then he started to cry louder, covering his face with both hands and shaking violently.

Kyle felt his heart stopping for a second, his body surrendering under the pain and sorrow, still he tensed all his muscles and mustering all his might made the ultimate effort to clear his mind and be the strong pillar that Eric was needing right now. Kyle left aside his own pain and gathered all the love he felt for the chubby boy, trying to reach out to him with the support his boyfriend needed. Taking a deep breath said - I lost my mind Eric. I lost myself unto the fear of our past. I trusted you, but my mind wouldn't let go all the lies and deceits that happened before. Maybe I'm insane... Maybe I can't be really free of my fears... But I want to. I want to really leave the past behind Eric, I want to think only in our present and our future. And I can't just say anymore "My present or My future" because it's not mine alone anymore. I can't be by myself anymore, not since I discovered what it feels like to be by your side. I don't hate you Eric, I don't know if I really ever hated you, and I don't care anymore. All I care now is that you became my life, my meaning, my only happiness in this world. I love you Eric -

The bigger boy stopped crying and just sobbed for a moment, then he sniffed and quietly said - How can you say all that? How can you tell me you love me when I'm the one to blame for you doubting your own sanity? It's my fault that you can't trust me anymore... - He continued between sobs - I... I broke you... -

Kyle felt tears wanting to come out again but closing his eyes and breathing deeply said - You never did such a thing. I was... I am terrified of the dark times coming again... But I'm not broken. Eric, you did the opposite, you completed me. When we kissed the first time... That's when I felt complete for the first time in my life... - He sighed - It doesn't matter how much my own mind and fears try to trick me, the only thing completely real in my life is the love that I feel for you. I know I must learn to control my fears, as much as you told me about how you needed to control the darkness inside your mind... We both need each other Eric, we both need each other to heal... -

The chubby boy had stopped sobbing and was completely silent, for a moment after Kyle stopped talking he remained in silence with his eyes closed. Then, he slowly opened his eyes and looking at the wall again said quietly - I've done too much damage here... I've hurt too many people... And even if I wanted to change, even if did a real effort to make amends, my past will never stop haunting me... - He took a deep breath and continued - Maybe... Maybe I should go away... Maybe I should move somewhere far, where no one would know about me or the things I've done... Perhaps that way I could stop myself from hurting any more people... - Eric sighed - Maybe then I could really start a new life... -

Kyle felt his heart surrendering again. The seriousness on Eric's tone froze his blood as he realized that the boy was really thinking about leaving forever. A progression of images flashed through his mind, pictures of Eric and him playing as little toddlers when they first met, images of them arguing at school, pictures of the brief and spaced times that they had supported each other or just made each other laugh from the years before... And then, images of the last year, pictures of the night Eric started to change, pictures of their first night together as friends, images of that night at Stark's Pond. Then the images came filled with the memory of their touch, that brief and risky but so wonderful embrace at the school's bathroom, their first kiss the night they became boyfriends, their last kiss on Eric's couch that Sunday after the sleepover that now seemed so far away in time... Kyle knew he couldn't spend his life without Eric anymore. The chubby boy was part of him now; having him gone would be like having half of his soul gone. But then, he remembered all the times in the past months that Eric had smiled, that sweet and warm smile that told Kyle the chubby boy was really happy like never before in his life, and that made the red haired boy realize that it didn't mattered if he had to live a half-life until the day he finally died. If Eric getting away from the town and people that had hurt him so bad could make the chubby boy smile again, then Kyle would bear with it.

With an empty voice, Kyle said - I love you Eric, I don't want to be apart from you never again... But if going away and never coming back can make you happy then... Then I won't try to stop you... - Despite his calmed tone, tears were falling down Kyle's face like a waterfall.

Another moment of painful silence filled the room, then, Eric slowly shifted himself to face Kyle with his whole body and said – How going away could make me happy if the only thing that has ever gave me peace and happiness would be left here? -

Kyle hesitantly looked at his boyfriend's eyes, those big and gorgeous chocolate eyes that could make him feel emotions far stronger than any other thing in the world, and saw that behind the sadness, there was a glimpse of warmth, a small glint of pure love that called out his heart to beat again. Kyle lost himself in those eyes that, despite all of what he had done, they looked at him with forgiveness.

- I love you Kyle... - Said quietly the bigger boy - I love you and I don't want to be apart from you never again either... But I'm afraid... I'm afraid of hurting you again, I'm afraid of losing myself and really going back into my old self, finally betraying you like you thought I had done yesterday... And I'm... - Tears started to roll down his cheeks again - I'm afraid of you hurting me again too... -

Kyle stared at his boyfriend, his mind blank except from those last words that Eric had said. Suddenly, he felt his chest bursting and he started to cry loudly, not even knowing what he was doing. All that he could think about was that Eric was afraid of him.

The bigger boy stared at Kyle crying for a few seconds, frozen with shock and pain, he had never seen Kyle crying like that and he didn't knew what to do as it dawned on him that what had triggered that reaction had been his last words. Eric could see the pain and regret on his boyfriend's cry like if it were painted on him, he wanted to reach to the smaller boy and hold him but his body wasn't responding. He started to shake and his own pain took over him, sending into another uncontrollable cry.

For a whole minute, both boys just cried their hearts out, remaining still on their places but with their bodies distorted by the pain in their hearts. Then, as if they had reached an untold agreement, both Kyle and Eric started to move towards each other and abruptly clashed against one another, wrapping their arms around each other's bodies and holding tightly and desperately as if they had been one person that had been divided in two and now wanted to be whole again. The force of the hug made them fall onto the bed and they remained laying there, crying out loud until they almost lost their voice.

For a long moment, their bodies just released all the accumulated pain and sorrow and regret. It wasn't just about what had happened lately, they had so much sadness from the years past that they just let it all out in a seemingly endless cry.

For a whole ten minutes they cried, only stopping momentarily to catch their breaths almost involuntarily. Then, the cry started to lower and was replaced by quiet sobs while the tears that had soaked their faces, which were pressed together, started to go cold, even in the warm atmosphere of the room. As their breathing was becoming steadier, Eric heard the door opening slowly but he didn't moved, he just didn't cared. After a few seconds, the door was closed again and even without seeing it, Eric knew that they were still alone in the room.

After the avalanche of feelings had receded, Eric eased his grip on Kyle, still holding him, but not so tightly as before, fearing that he might hurt him. He sighed - What do we do now Kyle?... -

The red haired boy moved slightly and also eased his embrace - I don't know... Will we ever stop hurting each other? -

- We can try... - Replied quietly Eric - We were doing a good job loving each other... At least that's what I was feeling... -

Kyle slowly separated his face from Eric's so their eyes could meet - I'm really afraid too Eric... I don't want to hurt you again... I don't want you to lose your will to live again... - His voice broke and he started to sob again - I didn't wanted to cause that... I'm a monster... -

Eric's eyes filled with tears again but said softly - That wasn't your fault... You had warned me before... I shouldn't have disregarded my own life no matter how sad and broken I was feeling... But I guess that's still a part of me, a part of my old self that didn't knew how to deal with suffering... - He sniffed, trying not to start sobbing again - Kyle... I need you... I need your help to overcome this... -

Kyle closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, trying to control himself and then looked again at his boyfriend - I want to help you Eric... And I need your help too. I want to stop dwelling in the past, I need your hand holding mine and guiding us into our future... -

Eric let out a little smile, finally starting to chase away the sadness off his face - I'm not so sure of that... I'm a really lame guide... - Kyle smiled too, remembering that time they got lost in that huge cave.

- Then we will draw a map together - Said Kyle - And we'll walk forward to our happiness -

- I really want that... - Replied Eric softly – Even if it sounds like the corniest and gayest thing you've said – The chubby boy chuckled a bit. He then blushed a little and said shyly - May I... May I kiss you? -

The red haired boy's smile grew as he nodded affirmatively. Their faces became closer and slowly their lips touched, first for a brief second, and then they gently touched again, starting to caress each other. Their kiss wasn't a heated and passionate one as their last ones, but it had another kind of warmth and it was filled with the deep love they had for one another.

For a moment, the rest of the world had disappeared and the only thing they could sense was their lover's lips on their own and the warmth of their bodies filling their hearts with love and happiness once again since this all had started.

They gently parted the kiss and stared at each other with loving eyes. Then Kyle said - Eric... Can I ask you something? -

The bigger boy nodded and Kyle asked - Why did you held all this so in secret? Why did you got involved with that guy? - He sighed - I'm not accusing you again... I just need to know why you needed to do it this way... -

Eric looked away and after a couple of seconds sighed - I wanted to give you a gift for your birthday, something special... I had thought about what I wanted and it was really expensive, so I needed the money. My savings aren't so big since I spent a lot on Kenny's gift and some more on food... - He blushed a little - And I didn't wanted to ask my mother for money, I knew she would have given it to me, but I didn't wanted to buy you a present with that tainted money... So I decided to sell some of my old comic books on the internet, I had hoped they would go really fast, but after two whole weeks I only got three offers... Two weeks ago I was desperate, knowing that if I didn't hurried, I could end up not being able to give you what I wanted... So I finally went with the best bidder and we arranged to meet at downtown. I was a little puzzled about meeting in that alley, but just thought the guy wanted some privacy, maybe he was embarrassed of buying comics... Anyways, I went there and when I saw that it was that sucker I almost gave up, but I really wanted to give you that present, so we talked and he gave me part of the money - Eric frowned - I was so pissed about that, I needed all of it but he said he only had that much left that day, so we arranged to meet up again the next week. That's why he called me the next Wednesday and we arranged to meet on Friday -

Kyle frowned puzzled and interrupted him - Wait, he called you on Wednesday? Then who was the one that called you on Thursday at lunch? -

Eric looked at him puzzled and then frowned a little - I told you... It was my mother asking me to pick up some things after school... - The chubby boy sighed again - You didn't believed me then either... -

Tears threatened to fall from Kyle's eyes again as he was feeling again like the worst kind of shit that had ever existed. He said quietly - I... Was really an idiot... -

Eric closed his eyes for a second and opening them again said - Yes... You were... - He sighed again - But I can understand you getting it all mixed up... -

- I'm really sorry Eric - Said Kyle, never before he had meant those words so strongly - I thought it was all just part of whatever you were hiding from me... -

Eric stared at him for a few seconds with a serious expression, then he caressed a little Kyle's back and said - I get it... It was stupid from me to act so secretively, I should have at least told the guys about it... That way they could have helped so you wouldn't started to think such things... -

Kyle shook his head from side to side with his eyes closed, then he opened them and with deep regret in them said - No matter how suspiciously you were acting... I should have never doubted you like that... And I should have let you explain yourself... - His voice cracked but lowered at the same time, so he could only whimper - I don't deserve you... -

Eric felt the knot in his throat, that had disappeared just a few minutes ago coming back again, he hugged Kyle tightly and said - Don't say that... I know how hard it can be to control your thoughts and actions when you're blinded by rage and mistrust... Trust me, I know what I'm talking about... - He caressed his boyfriend's back again - Maybe you shouldn't have done that, but anyone can make mistakes, and I know that you didn't wanted this to happen, you didn't do this on purpose. Kyle, look at me... - The red haired boy gazed into his boyfriend's big and beautiful chocolate eyes, that were radiating pure love and Eric said - You're a wonderful being Kyle, the most beautiful person in the world to me... I know that you didn't meant to hurt me, and I know that you're regretting all that happened yesterday... I want us to be happy again, I want to see you smile again because your smile is the only thing that can heal me... It doesn't matter who deserves what, I only care about loving you and you loving me... -

Kyle's tears were falling down again from his gorgeous emerald eyes, he still had a lot of sadness inside him, but the words that came from the bigger boy, filled with love and tenderness, quickly started to warm his heart, cleansing it of all the darkness that had been accumulated during the past weeks, leaving only pure love towards his boyfriend. He clumsily took one of his hands from around the bigger boy and dried the tears from his face, then said - I still don't know how I ended up with the greatest boyfriend in the world by my side... I love you so much Eric... -

The chubby boy blushed and smiling said - I love you too my precious little guy... -

Kyle smiled and got closer to Eric's face to kiss him again, the chubby boy responded the kiss gently caressing Kyle's lips with his own for a few seconds. Then they looked at each other again, Eric blushed even more and looking away sheepishly asked - So... Did you liked it? -

Kyle gazed at him puzzled and said - What? -

Eric rolled his eyes playfully and replied - Your present dumbass... -

The red haired boy quietly answered - I... Never opened it... -

Eric looked at him with raised eyebrows - Really? Why? -

- I... I was feeling so sad... Knowing that I had acted like an idiot really hurting you... - Replied Kyle sadly - Just looking at the little box sent me into a crying fit last night, I don't know how much it lasted but I think I just passed out from it since the next thing I knew was that it was already morning... -

The chubby boy held Kyle closer to him and said softly - Sweetie... I'm sorry about that... -

- Don't apologize for that - Replied Kyle - It was my fault, I deserved that and more... -

- Enough of that Kyle, really - Said Eric serious - Yes, you did hurt me, my heart broke when you told me all of that, when I could see that you weren't trusting me, when you called me "Cartman"... - He sighed - It hurt like hell, but it's over now, I know you regret that and I regret having made your life so difficult for so many years so that you would have a really hard time trusting me now... I get it that we both screwed up, but if we keep crawling into guilt all the time, we'll never be really happy... -

Kyle took a deep breath - You're right... I should learn from my mistakes and not dwell on them on an on... I'm... I'm really sorry for calling you like that again... -

- It's okay sweetheart... - Said Eric - People say awful things without really meaning them when they're angry... -

Kyle snuggled closer to the bigger boy and said - I'll never do something like this again... -

- And I promise not to act all shady again... - Replied Eric - I'll try to think on a better way to do things... -

The red haired boy raised his head and looking at Eric's eyes said - Thanks for getting into so much just to give me a present... -

- Wait until you see it first before thanking me... - Eric chuckled a little - You don't... You don't have it here don't you? -

Kyle shook his head and said - I left it at home, it's hidden... I didn't want my parents finding it and asking questions... I really wasn't feeling like telling them anything until I knew if you were at least okay... -

- That's okay - Replied Eric - So, are you gonna look at it today? -

- No... Now that I know you're fine I just want to wait until it's my birthday to open it... And I want you to be there with me then... - He chuckled a little - You look a little anxious about me opening it... -

Eric blushed - I am... I mean, I want to know if you like it... -

The red haired boy caressed his boyfriend's chubby cheek and said - Of course I'll like it, no matter what it is, because it came from you... And I know that it's filled with your love... -

The bigger boy closed his eyes and smiled while pressing Kyle's hand onto his face with his own hand. They remained like that for a long moment, basking in the care and affection that they were giving to each other, then, Eric asked hesitantly - Kyle... Am I... Am I still your boyfriend? -

The red haired boy looked at his round face that had a hopeful expression on it and thought that he was the cutest boy there could ever be, Kyle smiled and said - Of course you are... - Eric's eyes glistened and a huge smile appeared on his lips, then Kyle asked - Do you... You still want me as your boyfriend? - The chubby boy nodded vigorously and hugged him tightly while pressing his lips against Kyle's. They kissed for a while, quietly and gently, and then they just rested next to each other for a moment.

After a while, Eric caressed his boyfriend's back and said - I think we should let the guys know that we're okay... They must be worried... - He smiled - Besides, I want to thank them for all they did... -

Kyle nodded smiling and slowly started to get up while the bigger boy sat on the bed, still under the covers. He walked to the door and opened it. Outside Kenny and Stan were sitting against the wall and jumped a little when they saw the door opening. They gazed at Kyle with a questioning look and he said - Everything's alright now... Come on in... -

Both Stan and Kenny let out a relieved sigh at the same time and smiled at each other, then, they got up and walked to the door. Kyle stepped aside and let them in.

- How are you feeling? - Asked Stan to Eric as he walked towards the bed.

- Much better, thanks - Answered Eric with a smile.

- You do look better - Smiled Kenny.

- Come here guys - Said Eric patting at the bed next to him - I would go there but I'm still feeling a little weak... -

Stan and Kenny got closer and sat on the bed beside the bigger boy. For a second, he just smiled to them and then said - Thank you guys... You saved me... - A couple of tears appeared on the corners of his eyes, he looked at Stan - Stan, if you hadn't been there at the bridge... - He sniffed, trying to control his voice - And then you brought me here and took care of me... - The husky boy leaned forward and hugged Stan, who was a little surprised for a second but then just hugged him back tightly

- I wasn't gonna let you do such a stupid thing dude... - Said Stan, feeling his own voice wanting to crack - You're one of my best friends, of course I would help you when you needed it... - They let go of each other and Eric looked at the blond boy - Kenny, if it weren't for you I think I could have never told you what had happened... You always know what to ask me and what I mean... - He smiled - And if you hadn't been here watching over me all night I would have probably done something stupid again... - He leaned towards his friend and hugged him.

Kenny returned the hug tightly smiling and said - Maybe I just spent too much time with you and now I can understand you even when you're just babbling nonsense... - Then he felt tears on his eyes and said - Please Eric, don't try something like that again... -

Eric tightened the embrace and said - I won't... I'm sorry for that... - He let go of Kenny and looked at his two friends - I'm sorry for worrying you so much and for you having to look after me all night... - He looked down - I was really broken... - Then he looked up and frowned a little, watching at Kyle who was standing by the door crying quietly with the face covered by his hands - Kyle! Wipe those tears and come over here with me - The red haired boy jumped a little at the command and looking sadly at his boyfriend walked slowly towards the bed and stood beside Eric - Come over here - Said the bigger boy opening his arms, Kyle got on his knees beside him and Eric hugged him - Stop crying my little man... We're supposed to be over the guilt... It's time to heal now... -

Kyle hugged him tightly and stopped crying. Then, he looked at his boyfriend and said - I know... I'll be strong now... -

Eric smiled to him and said - That's the guy I love... - And kissed him softly.

Kyle returned the kiss and smiled to Eric for a couple of seconds, then he looked at his friends and said - Thank you guys for taking care of Eric... And... - He looked down - I'm really sorry for causing all of this... I'm really, really sorry... -

Kenny, who was closer to him, patted his shoulder and said - It's over now Kyle, you screwed up but you didn't really meant for this to happen and you're really sorry... -

- You just have to learn from this and be more careful in the future - Said Stan, the harshness from earlier had disappeared and now was smiling again to his friend.

Kyle nodded and said - I know. I won't do something like this again... -

The four boys remained silent for a moment and then Stan said - Guys, what do you say about leaving this room? There's a really nice day outside and it would be good for us to take some fresh air... -

- That sounds good - Replied Eric - Just let me get dressed... - He blushed a little - I didn't even noticed that I hadn't my clothes on until I told Kyle to call you in... -

- Well, we weren't gonna let you sleep with your clothes on... - Replied Stan.

- Yeah, although it wasn't easy at all - Chuckled Kenny - I don't know how you're able to untie your shoes at night, the laces were almost strangled... And you should stop wearing those jeans man... They were so tight that it took me a whole minute to unbutton them... -

- Yeah, you say that now but I bet that you cupped a feel during that... - Scoffed Eric blushing.

- Don't say that - Replied Kenny with a serious tone - I could never take advantage of anyone like that, much less with any of you... -

Eric looked down - I'm sorry... I know you wouldn't do something like that... -

- Hey, it's okay - Smiled Kenny - I know you didn't meant that... Let's just go out okay? -

The chubby boy nodded and his friends got up from the bed so he could get dressed. Stan handed him his clothes and Kyle helped him a little since it was visible that Eric was still a little weak from all the commotion and the restless night he had passed.

Kyle and Eric got up and looked at each other, they had their eyes red and swollen from crying so much and their hair was all messed up. The bigger boy chuckled - You look like shit... Cute, but still like shit... -

Kyle also chuckled - You too... With those black circles under your eyes you don't even need your "Coon" mask anymore... - Eric blushed - Still, you're the cutest coon there is... - Smiled Kyle and gave his boyfriend a quick peck on the lips.

- You should wash up a little before going out... - Said Stan - My mother will freak out if she sees you like that -

Both boys nodded and headed for the bathroom, they washed their faces and tried to comb a little their hair. Coming out of there, they met up with Stan and Kenny who were waiting for them and when they were going to go downstairs, Stan's father came up and said - Stan, how are things going? - Then he looked at Kyle and Eric and said - Oh! I see that you're okay now... -

- Yes, thanks Mr. Marsh - Replied Eric - I'm sorry for any bother I may have caused... -

- Don't worry, Stan told us you needed help and since your mother is out of town we wouldn't have let you alone in your house - Said Mr. Marsh - Are you going outside? -

- Yes dad - Said Stan - We could use some fresh air... -

- That's a great idea - Smiled his father - Take care boys - They nodded and he continued towards the bathroom

The boys went downstairs and met with Mrs. Marsh who smiled - Oh Eric! I'm happy to see that you're feeling better -

- Thanks Mrs. Marsh - Smiled Eric - I'm really feeling better thanks to my friends and thanks to your generosity... I'm really sorry if I caused you any trouble or bother... -

- Oh don't worry my dear, we wouldn't have let you alone, you looked like you needed the help... - Replied Stan's mother

- I did... - Said Eric - I was lucky that Stan found me when he did... -

Mrs. Marsh smiled to her son and then looked back at Eric, this time with slight concern - Eric... What happened yesterday? -

- Mom... - Said Stan but his mother interrupted him

- Son, we didn't ask anything last night because you asked us not to disturb you, but we need to know - She looked again to Eric - What got you so sad dear? -

Kyle looked down and then turned his head trying not to start to cry again. Eric looked at him over the corner of his eyes and sighed, then looked at Stan's mother and said - I got into a fight... Nothing physical - Added at the concerned look on Mrs. Marsh eyes - But there were some really mean words and I... I got really sad - Even with being such a wonderful actor, Kyle could sense the pain in his boyfriend's words as he talked about their fight - But Everything's okay now - Continued Eric - We've all apologized and it's all forgiven now - The chubby boy really meant those last words and hoped that Kyle had noticed the sincerity on his voice.

Mrs. Marsh looked at both of them, since she had noticed Kyle's reaction, but just said - Well, I'm really glad that it all turned out fine -

- Thanks again Mrs. Marsh - Said Eric smiling.

- Mom, we're going out for a while okay? - Said Stan.

- Sure sweetheart - Replied she, then said - Oh Kyle dear, I almost forgot, your mother called a while ago, she was really worried about you... -

Kyle raised his eyebrows and looked at her with wide eyes - I completely forgot! I had promised to call her when I got here! -

- Don't worry, I already told her that you had reached our house safe and sound - Replied Mrs. Marsh - But she did asked for you to at least text her to let her know when you'll be back -

- I'll do - Said Kyle - Thanks -

Stan's mother smiled and said - Well boys, enjoy this beautiful day then -

The four boys grabbed their things and went outside. The Sun shined brightly over the houses despite the many white clouds in the sky and the air was nice, with just a soft and fresh breeze.

- So, where are we going? - Asked Kenny.

- Stark's Pond? - Asked Eric - I bet there's not many people in there since it's still early... -

- Sounds good - Replied Stan.

Kyle nodded silently and they started to walk towards the lake. They weren't talking much, Kyle and Eric needed to let their throats rest a little after exhausting them throughout the night, and Stan and Kenny were really tired after the stress of the last night.

Kyle was walking with his head down and would sigh occasionally, Eric was watching him and at one moment said - What's the matter sweetie? -

The red haired boy looked at him and said - Nothing... - Then he sighed again - I'm still sad... -

Eric frowned a little out of concern and said - Kyle, please, stop feeling guilty. I really meant it when I said that all was forgiven... - He put his hand on Kyle's shoulder - I know that we had a rough time with all this, but we gotta move on. We're both okay now, we're together again and we got another chance to make things better this time, let's just take it and be happy... -

- You're right... - Sighed Kyle - I'll try to let this behind... - He looked at his boyfriend and smiled - I love you... -

Eric smiled - That's what I wanted to see... That beautiful smile of yours... I love you too - They kept walking, really close, and both of them wanted to grab the others hand in theirs and walk like that, but they decided to settle with just letting them brush occasionally against each other.

The boys finally reached the shore of the lake and Stan said - Eric, Kenny, could you give me a minute alone with Kyle? I need to talk to him... - The other boys looked at him puzzled and Kyle lowered his gaze. Kenny put his hand on Eric's back, seeing that the chubby boy didn't wanted to leave and said - Come on dude... Let them talk, everything's gonna be alright -

Eric nodded silently and gently caressed Kyle's arm saying softly - I'll be right over there sweetheart... -

Kyle gave him a forced smile and nodded too. Eric and Kenny went ahead by the shore and sat on one of the benches as Kyle and Stan did the same in another bench apart from them.

- How did things went in there? - Asked Stan - I know that you made up at the end but, for a moment we were really concerned... When we heard you both crying so loudly... After the sounds muffled, Kenny just couldn't take it anymore and went to check on you, he said you were both embraced and that everything seemed to be right, but I still have some concerns -

Kyle was looking at the lake, his sight lost on the small waves that crossed the clear surface of the water. He took a deep breath and said - That was hard... At that moment I... I thought that I was gonna lose him... - The red head's voice was weak and wanting to break - He explained to me what he had been doing, and now it all seems so clear to me. I should have never doubted him like this, I should have never done such a thing without at least letting him explain himself... I... - A couple of tears fell from green eyes - Do you know that the call he received that day at school was really from his mother? I mean, I thought that was just part of this whole mess... - Kyle tried to control his voice and breathing, not wanting to start sobbing - And now he's afraid of me... Yes, he says that all is forgiven and that he's okay, but the look he gave me back there... Stan... I'm a monster... - The green eyed boy stopped talking, knowing that one more word could break him.

Stan looked at his friend, gaze filled with sadness - Of course that you shouldn't have done all this... But it was a mistake, you didn't mean it, the fear took over you. You're not a monster Kyle, you're just a human being and we all make mistakes sometimes - His look became more serious - But now that this all has happened, you gotta learn from it. This cannot happen again Kyle. You know how unstable Eric is right now. Before, he had a shell of hate and evilness where he could hide from the world and just shrug everything that we could say to him... But now, he doesn't have it anymore. You broke that shell Kyle, and left his true self to come out to the world. But that gentle Eric is now really vulnerable, and he depends on us to protect him until he can learn to deal properly with what the world throws at him... He depends on you... - He shifted his body a little to face the red head - Look at me Kyle - The green eyed boy raised his gaze and Stan continued - This cannot happen again. Until Eric's mind is healed, you know what can happen if he gets this depressed. The next time, there could be no one there to stop his fall... -

Kyle couldn't resist it anymore and started to cry uncontrollably. Stan just looked at him for a few seconds and then put his hand on his friend's shoulder but didn't said anything else, he knew that it was better for Kyle to just let out the anguish.

Eric was sitting on the bench, eyes glued to his boyfriend's face. He just couldn't stop looking at him with both sadness and concern. He knew that Stan was probably lecturing him against doing what he had done ever again, but the chubby boy felt so guilty for making Kyle cry. He was still hurt from the red head's words from the evening before, and knew perfectly well that it hadn't been his fault that Kyle would had doubted him so mercilessly, but he just couldn't bear to see his boyfriend so sad now.

- Hey Eric - Said Kenny next to him but only able to see the back of his friend's head - I know that you're worried about Kyle, but Stan is only trying to help him realize about the seriousness of the matter... Hey, look at me... - The chubby boy reluctantly turned over to gaze at his friend - Eric, you matter too you know? How are you really feeling right now? -

The bigger boy looked down and said slowly - I'm... I'm afraid right now... Afraid of getting my hopes too high and thinking that this is all over when in reality it's not... I'm afraid of this happening again and not being able to control myself another time... - He sighed - I'm afraid of scarring Kyle, making him feel like he can't be with me anymore because I'll be a burden to him... - A tear rolled down his chubby cheek - Kenny, I don't really know what to make of all of this... I've never been so scared before... -

The blond boy looked briefly to the lake and back at his friend - Look, first of all, you're not a burden, not to Kyle and neither to Stan or Me. If you feel sad, you come to us and we take care of you, and we'll do it not out of pity or obligation, but because you're our friend and we want to see you happy, and specially Kyle, he really wants the best for you - His blue eyes showed some sadness now - About the other thing... Eric, remember when we talked at Stan's house? At that time, I was worried about something like this happening... But you don't have to deal with shit alone anymore, you know that. Please, try to seek help the next time you feel down... We're all here for you... - He couldn't talk anymore, the sadness that this whole thing had caused to the blond boy was too much and he didn't wanted to start crying in front of his friend right now.

Eric noticed that and said - I'm sorry for making you feel like this too... I'll... I'll try to control myself better... Or at least let one of you know about it... - Before he could continue, he heard the loud crying coming from the other bench and turned around swiftly, he saw Kyle crying and jumped from his seat - That's it... – He said, starting to walk towards the other boys. Kenny got up immediately too and followed him a little worried.

- Hey! Don't be hard on him! - Said Eric standing next to Stan.

The black haired boy looked at him and said - I'm just... - But then, Kyle, who had jumped a little, startled from his boyfriend's exclamation, put a hand on Stan's shoulder making him stop, and controlling his breath the best he could said - It's... Not his fault... -

They all looked at him and Kyle took a deep breath before saying - Eric, he wasn't being hard on me... He was just telling me the truth. Don't get mad at him please -

The husky boy crouched beside his boyfriend and said - But you're crying again... - His voice sounded really sad - Kyle please... Stop being sad... - Finally, his voice cracked and he hugged the red headed boy.

Kyle hugged him too and they both sobbed quietly for a while. After a minute or so, they looked at each other and Kyle said - I'm sorry... I don't want to worry you anymore, but it's hard for me not to feel this way... I've done something horrible and... -

- Don't, please, just don't say that again... - Interrupted Eric - We've had enough of this for today okay? Kyle... Honey... This was really tough for us, but we can't be like this forever. I'm begging you, just let this all go, at least for today... I don't want to see you so sad... - Tears wanted to come out but Eric just wouldn't let them.

The red headed boy sniffed and wiped the tears off his face - I'm sorry... I know I have to be strong now... But it's not easy... -

- Nobody said it would be - Replied the chubby boy - But we have each other to face rough times together... Right? -

Kyle nodded, a slight smile coming at him from his heart that was again warming at the words of his boyfriend - Of course... -

Eric smiled too - There's my tough little guy... - He hugged Kyle quickly again and said - I love you... -

Kyle hugged him back tightly and said - I love you too... -

- Are you feeling better now? - Asked Eric.

- You always make me feel better - Answered Kyle smiling.

- At least when I'm not doing something stupid... - Said the chubby boy looking away.

- Hey! Don't tell me to let this go and then start saying that - Replied Kyle with a frown.

- You're right... We both gotta move on... - Said Eric.

- So, are you both okay now? - Asked Kenny hesitantly, he and Stan were standing near the bench.

- We're good... - Answered the bigger boy.

- Um... Eric, could I talk with you for a minute? - Asked Stan.

- What's the matter? - Asked back Eric a little puzzled.

- Just come with me okay? - He looked at Kyle - Don't worry about him, I just need to talk a little, that's all -

Eric gazed at his boyfriend a little hesitantly and Kyle returned the gaze, then, the red head nodded and said - I'm okay sweetheart. Go... -

The husky boy nodded and gave Kyle a slight smile, then he got up and walked towards Stan. The black haired boy motioned him to the shore and they both started to walk, getting a little away from the bench but not too much, just enough to talk in private.

- Are you gonna tell me what's this about? - Asked Eric.

- I needed to talk to you about what happened... - Replied Stan - Are you... Are you really fine now? -

- Of course - Said Eric immediately, then he looked at the lake - I mean, I'm still hurt, and really afraid of what's gonna happen between Kyle and me after all this... - He sighed - Do you think that he will ever trust me? I mean, really trust me... You're his best friend, I'm sure that if someone could answer that is you... -

- Look, the one that could answer that the better is Kyle himself... - Replied Stan looking at the lake too - You both need to have a serious talk about this, but I understand that this is not the moment. You both gotta recover from the shock of yesterday's eve. Kyle is a great guy, and he always tries to see the good in everything, but this is a delicate thing. Maybe the only thing you both need is time. Many years went by with you lying and not even Kyle can forget about that so soon. But maybe what you both need to realize is that those times are in the past now. You have changed - He chuckled a little - Hell, if I hadn't been here through all of this I could say that you were replaced by an alien clone or something... - Eric chuckled too - I think that you two need to concentrate on the present and the future now. You have a chance to earn his trust, to show him that this is the real you and that it will be from now on. He opened his heart for you, now all you need to do is show him that even if you have some bits of your old self still, you won't give in to them, and specially that you won't give up on this change inside you -

- That's the other thing I'm afraid of... I feel so weak right now... - Eric sighed - I know we should both have patience on each other, but when he told me those things... I just lost it completely. I had said before that I wouldn't let myself fall so quickly, but in that moment... Life just didn't made sense anymore... I... I just didn't felt the need to keep going on if he would hate me so much... - Eric closed his eyes, trying to control himself and stop the tears from falling down his face.

- That's what I wanted to talk to you about - Said Stan - Look, I... I have never felt like that before... Close yes, but I see now that what happened to you last night was far worse and I'm trying my best to put myself on your shoes to understand it. And you know what? It sucks, really, it sucks that the one thing you put your whole efforts on starts to crumble before your eyes... I get that, but you know what sucks even more? What happens afterward? - Eric opened his eyes slowly and gazed at his friend - Eric, have you ever thought about what would happen if you really died? -

The chubby boy raised his eyebrows for a second and then looked down - I... Did... Before. I mean, I had thought about... - He gulped - About dying a couple of times before. But it was always the same, I could only think that most of the people wouldn't even notice about it... And the people that were closer to me, would only think about it for a couple of days at best and then just move on with their lives... - He looked at the lake again - I thought that Kyle could even be glad about it, finally getting rid of the worst pest that had ever crossed his path... - Eric closed his eyes again, this time not being able to stop the tears from falling - That night at my house... I even thought I would be glad about it, it was the only way I could finally stop being a menace to the only person I loved... - He sniffed and continued - At least until he held me and told me that he cared, that he would care and even feel bad about me dying... -

- Things are deeper now Eric - Replied Stan - He spent the whole evening desperately calling everyone to know if you were ok. He called to your cell like a million times from his house until I turned it off... He was more than just worried. And then, today, when I told him about how I got you at the bridge... - The black haired boy sighed - I had never seen Kyle like that... He almost fainted and after that, when I told him about what you had really been doing yesterday he just... He lost his will to live Eric -

The chubby boy opened his eyes abruptly and stared at his friend in disbelieving - What?! -

Stan lowered his head a little - He wanted to leave, he said he didn't deserved to live anymore... - Eric clenched his fists and started to shake out of desperation, he had never thought that the love of his life could get to feel like that because of him.

He shifted his body, trying to go back to the bench but Stan put his hand on the boy's shoulder and squeezed it, not too much, but firmly enough to stop him - We're not done here Eric. Let me finish please -

The bigger boy gazed at him with a frown and said - I can't let this to pass by, I need to talk with him now -

- No - Said firmly Stan - You will stay here and let me finish - He tightened his grip a little more.

Eric stared at him, almost glaring, but then he eased his expression and said - Go on then -

- Look, he did felt like that, but he's not thinking about it anymore, at least that's what I think - Said Stan - But you can't go storming to him now and bring all that back. You yourself told him to lay back this whole thing for now. Keep your word -

The chubby boy stared at his friend. He had stopped shaking and was now looking at him with more concern than frustration.

Stan continued - Eric, I wanted to tell you this because it's really important for you to know it. You said you wanted to change, to be a good person. That includes caring about the people who is around you, the people that cares about you. Kyle loves you, he really does, how do you think he would feel now if you died? He almost went away himself knowing that he had made you think about suicide again... Now, I want you to think deeply about that. If you ever have those thoughts again, please, just call us, go to Kyle, talk to him, he's there for you and he loves you. And if you can't do it, for whatever reason, you still have us. Kenny and I will always be here for you. And, if no one were around, please, just think about what I said now. We would all feel like shit if you went away, but Kyle would be destroyed. I don't know if he could ever commit suicide, but even if he weren't, life to him wouldn't have meaning if you did such a thing now. You said that Kyle is your life, the most precious thing in the universe to you; well, guess what, you are his life too now. If you ever feel like you were yesterday, please, think about him. It doesn't matter if you argue or even fight, he loves you Eric, and you gotta learn to fix things in your life and not just run away from them or deny them... I know you didn't do it on purpose, no one does. I'm not calling you a coward because you thought about killing yourself, but you have a whole new life ahead of you, please, don't throw it away, and don't end your boyfriend's life either... -

Eric just stood there, his face blank and his breathing erratic. He was trying hard to process everything that Stan had said, he knew that the other boy was right, but those words had stirred so much pain and grief inside him that he couldn't even speak.

For a long moment, they just stood there, Stan gazing at the bigger boy with sadness and concern in his eyes, Eric just staring at nothing. Then, the chubby boy took a deep breath and said - I... I never thought I could do such a thing to him... I thought he hated me yesterday... - Tears started to fall again from his eyes but he looked firmly at his friend - Stan please help me, please, I'm scared... I don't want to hurt Kyle like this never again... - His voice broke and he started to sob.

Stan went closer and hugged the chubby boy - I know you don't want that. I want to help you, we all do, but you gotta promise that you will let us... -

Eric hugged him back and with an effort said - I promise... -

Stan patted the larger boy's back and parted the embrace, he looked at his friend and said - You will get over this. I know you can, and then you and Kyle will have nothing else to worry about and will live happy together for the rest of your life -

The husky boy sniffed and nodded - Thanks. I still don't know if I'll be up to this. But I want to give all I have so that we can be happy... -

Stan smiled a little - I know. Just remember, rely on us, we're your friends, we're here for you -

Eric smiled a little too - Thanks... I'm sorry for being such a burden... -

- Don't say that - Replied Stan - You're not a burden, we all help each other - He smirked - Although you did wrecked my bed last night... -

Eric chuckled a little - Sorry about that... Most of the time I didn't even knew where I was... All I remember now are some blurry flashes... - He looked at Stan a little concerned - I didn't said or did anything... Wrong, right? -

- Wrong? - Asked Stan a little puzzled - No man... In fact, you were almost in a trance most of the time... Except for the moment when you told us about what had happened and then when you started to cry until you fell asleep... -

- Well, it's better that way... - Replied Eric - I... I know that my head is not working well still... Even if I'm trying to fix it, and I would have regretted it if I had said something... Regrettable... -

- Dude, nothing happened last night okay? - Said Stan - Nothing outside of what we told you at least -

Eric nodded and said - I... I really need to be with Kyle again now... -

Stan smiled a little and replied - Of course, let's go back -

They walked towards the bench where Kenny had maintained Kyle looking at another direction the whole time so he couldn't see what happened between Stan and Eric, he knew that if Kyle saw his boyfriend crying or upset, he would had wanted to go there or he would had started feeling really bad again, and he knew that their friends needed to talk alone.

Quickly looking towards the lake like he had been doing every minute, Kenny saw his friends coming over and said - Hey Kyle, they're coming back now... -

The red headed boy quickly turned with his gaze full of concern, but Eric had a little smile on his face so Kyle relaxed a little and smiled to him too.

- Everything went okay? - Asked Kenny.

- Sure - Replied Stan - We just needed to talk about some things... -

- Eric are you okay? - Asked Kyle.

- I am sweetie - Replied the chubby boy sitting next to his boyfriend - Are you feeling better? -

Kyle nodded and smiled. They both stared at each other for a while and then Kyle blushed and said - I... Need to kiss you... -

Eric's smile grew wider and said - I really need that too my love... - He looked around them and saw that there were nobody close that could see them - There's no one else here... -

Kyle blushed harder and his heart was beating really fast. He needed so badly to kiss the chubby boy but he still was afraid that someone could catch them. Finally, the need proved to be stronger and hesitantly leaned closer to Eric and gently pressed his lips against the soft ones of his boyfriend. Eric took Kyle's hand on his own as he returned the kiss softly. It didn't lasted long, not nearly as long as they would had wanted, but Eric knew that Kyle was really worried about being caught so after just a few seconds he gently parted the kiss and said softly - I love you Kyle... -

The green eyed boy smiled wide and said - I love you too Eric... -

The chubby boy caressed the back of Kyle's hand with his thumb and said - So, what do you want to do now? -

- I don't know... - Replied Kyle - We could stay here for a while if you want... -

- It's nice in here - Smiled Eric - What you say guys? - Asked looking at his friends.

- Well, it's pretty early still - Replied Stan - I guess we could stay here a little more... We could all use some quiet time... -

- Well, I don't know about you but I'm gonna lay down for a while on the grass - Said Kenny while doing exactly that in front of the bench - My back is killing me for spending the night in a weird position -

- Why did you spent the night in a weird position? - Asked Kyle.

- Well, you see - Started Kenny - Your huge boyfriend, even curled up against the corner, still occupied a most of the bed, and I didn't wanted to leave his side because even if I started to doze off, I would have felt if we was trying to leave... So I basically spent the night poorly leaned against the wall over my left side and almost falling off the bed a couple of times... -

- Dude, that's only because you wanted to spend your shift like that - Chuckled Stan - I told you to come and sleep at the couch like I did when it was my turn -

- I... I was worried okay? - The blond boy blushed a little - I saw that you were still in shock and exhausted form earlier so I didn't wanted to leave anything to chance... - He looked away - I'm sorry Kyle, I know that it may look inappropriate that I did such a thing with Eric being your boyfriend but I swear I didn't do it with bad intentions. I was just really worried... -

- I know Kenny - Replied Kyle - You watched over him when he really needed it and I'm really grateful for that. I know that you wouldn't take advantage of such a situation - He sighed - I'm sorry that I made you go through all of this... -

- Don't go there again dude - Said Kenny - I'm glad that you're not mad at me for that and I'm really happy that all turned out fine. Let's just think about that ok? -

- Sure - Nodded Kyle.

- Thanks again Kenny - Said Eric - And Stan... You're both such great friends... - Then he looked at the black haired boy - Dude, I just realized about something... What were you doing on that bridge yesterday? -

- I had went out with Wendy after school and then I walked her to Red's house because they were having a sleepover - Replied Stan - Coming back home, I went by the bridge... -

- So it was just out of chance that you were there... - Said quietly Eric.

Stan nodded, not wanting to add more, worried that it would trigger another sad moment for them all.

- Thanks - Simply said Eric smiling.

Stan smiled back and trying to change the subject said - So Kyle... Did you open your present? -

- Not yet - Replied the red haired boy - I'm waiting until my actual birthday to do it... -

- But I want to know if you like it... - Said Eric with an impatient and childish tone.

Kyle chuckled - I already told you before, I will like it because it's from you... -

- Don't be anxious dude - Said Kenny - It's only three days away... -

- I know... - Whined a little Eric, noticeably unconvinced while folding his arms. Kyle smiled at the extremely cute scene. He loved when the chubby boy pouted like that. A while before, he would had just rolled his eyes with discomfort at Eric doing something like that, but now, even that had changed and seeing his boyfriend sulking just made him want to hug and kiss him.

The boys spent nearly an hour at the park, just talking about small things and trying to clear their minds off the sad things that had happened the night before. Finally, Kyle couldn't help letting out a yawn and Eric said - Are you tired honey? -

- A little... - Replied the red haired boy - I barely slept last night... -

A little sadness crossed the chubby boy's eyes but just said - Do you want to go back to your house and take a nap? -

- I would rather go back to your house and take a nap with you... - Replied Kyle with a slight smirk - But my mother will kill me if I don't go back... -

- I know... - Said Eric - I would love to take you to my house and snuggle with you the rest of the day... But you gotta go back to your place. We don't want you to get grounded again... -

- I think I'll go home and do that too - Said Kenny getting up with difficulty - Ouch... My back... -

- You're exaggerating now... - Chuckled Stan - I would like to catch some sleep too... -

- So we have a great Saturday here and we're gonna spend it all sleeping... - Said Eric amused - We're getting old people... -

They all laughed and then Kyle said - Sweetheart, are you okay with spending the rest of the day alone? - He looked down - I feel bad about that... -

- Don't worry little guy - Smiled Eric - I'm fine now and I promise I won't do anything stupid... Besides, I won't even notice if I'm alone or not, I will probably sleep the whole day... -

Kenny said - Dude, don't you want to come to my place? I mean, I can remain awake as long as I'm sitting in a soft place... -

- I mean it guys. I'm okay now - Replied the chubby boy - Besides, I'm used to being alone in there -

- Will you let me at least... Walk you there? - Asked Kyle.

- Are you sure sweetie? - Asked Eric - You do look tired... -

Kyle nodded firmly and the bigger boy smiled at the cute face his boyfriend was making - Alright... Let's get going then... -

They all got up and started to walk back home. Stan said goodbye to them when he got to his house and the other boys continued their way. When they got past Kyle's house, he decided to text his mother that he would soon be back so she wouldn't worry anymore.

After another twenty minutes or so, they reached Eric's house and Kenny said - Well guys, I'll be going now. Take care of each other okay? See you at school -

- Thanks again for everything - Said Eric - See you Kenny -

- Thanks for being there Kenny - Said Kyle - See you at school -

The blond boy waived to them as he was walking towards his home. Kyle and Eric stood at the driveway and the larger boy said - Want to come in for a sec? - Kyle, knowing what that meant, nodded vigorously and they both got into the house.

As soon as Eric closed the door, they hugged tightly and kissed softly but almost desperately. They needed to share their love with each other so much.

After making out for about five minutes, they stared at each other smiling. An outsider couldn't had known that something really awful had happened between them just the night before, such was the happiness they were showing for once more being held by each other. Such was the might of their love, which could heal their hearts faster than anything else and fill them with safety and joy.

Despite all that though, Kyle said - Eric, I don't want to be sad again and I don't want you to be either, but I gotta say again that I'm really sorry for what I did... -

The husky boy caressed Kyle's face, gently running his thumb over the red haired boy's cheek - I know honey. And I'm sorry about what I did too... I couldn't think straight and I let my old self to appear once more and I almost ended up throwing away all that we have been building over these past months... I didn't want to worry you like that... And I should have endured and waited for you to calm down instead of running away... -

Kyle's eyes filled with tears that were quickly wiped by his boyfriend's gentle touch, he then said - I should have never yelled at you like that and called you a liar... Eric, I love you... I want us to be happy together... -

- I want that too my sweet little guy... I really love you Kyle. We just gotta learn to have more patience with each other... - Smiled Eric.

- You're right - Replied Kyle, then he leaned forward again to kiss his boyfriend's once more. Eric returned the kiss and after it Kyle said disappointed - I should get going... -

The bigger boy nodded and said - I know sweetie -

- Wish I could stay... - Said Kyle.

- We'll get the chance to spend another weekend together soon, don't worry -

Kyle nodded and letting go of his boyfriend faced the door but he felt a hand tugging gently the sleeve of his jacket, he turned around to see the husky boy smiling at him with his chubby cheeks blushed and asked amused - What? -

- I want another kiss... - Said Eric with that childish tone that made Kyle's heart melt.

The red haired boy smiled and getting closer hugged his boyfriend and they kissed again softly but warmly. Then, Eric said - Ok... Now you can go... -

Kyle chuckled a little - But I don't want to go now... -

- Go now before your mother freaks out... - Chuckled Eric.

Kyle let out a humpf and then said - You're right... - He smiled - I love you... -

- I love you too little guy - Replied Eric smiling - See you at school -

- See you at school... - Said Kyle - Take care... And call me if you need anything okay? -

Eric nodded - Okay... You take care too - He opened the door and let Kyle walk out. The red haired boy walked to the street way and waived to his boyfriend. Eric waived back and waited for Kyle to leave his sight before closing the door.

Kyle walked back home, feeling much better than the last time he had traveled that path. When he arrived, his mother let down a rain of questions over him and she really looked upset, but Kyle just told her that a friend was really needing him and that's why he had ran off so early in the morning. Finally, Mrs. Broflovski seemed satisfied with the answer and Kyle told her that he was going to sleep until dinner since he hadn't slept well last night.

After reaching his room, Kyle went immediately to his closet and took out an old shoe box he had hidden in there where he usually stashed the things he deemed important enough to keep away even from his parents.

The boy sat on the floor with his back against the bed and placed the box on his lap, he opened it and smiling, he took out the small cube that Eric had given to him the day before. This time, the sight of the bright orange paper filled his heart with warmth and he held it against his chest as if the box were the person he had gotten it from.

Kyle looked at it again and frowned a little at the wrinkled green gift bow, he tried to tidy it up again and then put the little box again inside the larger one. He stashed the shoebox inside the closet and then changed his clothes to finally lay down on his bed, feeling exhausted but happy that his life was again headed towards the future he had been dreaming of for the last months.

***Disclaimer: I don't own the South Park characters or any of the brand names mentioned in this story. I don't own any of the songs mentioned on the story or used as chapter titles.

***Chapter title's song is Love me again by John Newman