"Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. Oh, take me back to the start."
[The Scientist - Coldplay]
"Have you thought about how to tell her?" Caleb asked, keeping tight Hanna's hand throughout the ride.
"Of course not, but I think there won't be necessary many words upon she'll see you with me..."
Caleb nodded.
"Are you nervous?" Hanna asked.
"Actually, a little..." Caleb admitted, biting his lip.
Hanna smiled; in that moment, Caleb looked so cute to her.
"Hey, my mother adores you, trust me." she said to him, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.
"And I adore her, but... But for her, I'm the jerk who left you for someone else, after everything you had done for me, and I haven't even ever said goodbye to her, when she had basically welcome me in her house like a son, and..."
Hanna interrupted him.
"Don't worry, let me talk then. She's my mom, she's still her, and everything she wants for me is to be happy. And to be happy, I just need you, Caleb. I really appreciate that you've accepted to come with me to her, seriously. Even though you're freaking out..." she eventually said, smiling.
Caleb sighed, smiling as well and shaking his head, so he pulled Hanna closer to him and he held her against his chest. He looked outside the cab window the New York's contours, as he weaved Hanna's blonde hair through his fingers.
"I was a bit rough, huh?" Hanna suddenly said.
"What are you talking about?" Caleb replied, confused.
"This..." Hanna replied, running her index finger around her lips' mark on Caleb's neck, still perfectly visible.
He chuckled, kissing the top of her head.
"Pretty much..." he added.
"Seemed like you liked it while I was at work, though..."
"Who told the other way around?"
Hanna chuckled.
"We could start from this to explain your mother how things are now, don't you think?" Caleb joked.
Hanna laughed again.
"I don't think that's a good idea... If my mother knew I had sex in the college, she'd go crazy!" she added, smiling.
"But it was beautiful, wasn't it?" Caleb teased, rubbing her shoulders.
"Who told the other way around?"
Caleb chuckled again, so he bent down to kiss Hanna's neck.
"Caleb..." she shooted at him.
"I was thinking that... Today... We did so many exceptions to the rule... So... Now that we're at this point... It'd be better to totally break the whole rule... At least for today... Wouldn't be?" Caleb whispered, between kisses.
Hanna smiled, placing a hand through Caleb's hair.
"No..." she whispered in his ear.
Caleb groaned in disappointment.
"I want you, Hanna..." he continued.
Hanna sighed and cupped his face between her hands.
"Caleb... One, we're in a cab; two, I want you too, but what I don't want is you to play the role of the secret guy of mine; and three, we have to be decent to go to my mom's. If everything goes the way it's supposed to go, we can do whatever you want tomorrow..." she said, whispering.
Caleb bited his lip.
"Okay..." he whispered, replacing himself properly on the back of his seat.
"I promise the wait will be worth it..." she added then, winking at him.
Caleb smiled at her, so he grabbed again her hand and he held it.
"You know, about what we were talking about last night, instead..." he continued.
"What?" Hanna played dumb, even though she perfectly knew what Caleb was referring to.
"Our wedding!"
Hanna let go a loud laugh.
"Rivers... No diamond, no wedding. Keep it in your head..." she added, nipping his arm.
Caleb was about to say something, but he was interrupted by the ringtone of Hanna's mobile. She took it from her purse, and she read Dave's name on the display, which was clearly seen by Caleb as well. Hanna sighed and searched for his eyes.
"Pick up." he said, without worry.
Hanna nodded and answered the call.
"Hey..." she started, biting her lip.
"Hanna, I... I need you..." Dave mumbled.
He sounded upset, and Hanna could tell he was crying.
"Dave, what is it? What happened?" Hanna said, a little concerned.
"My dad... My dad, Han..."
Hanna felt the blood freezing in her veins.
"What, Dave?" she continued, not wanting to believe what came up to her mind.
"My dad died."
Hanna sighed, not sure about what she could said. Her eyes started filling with tears, as Caleb looked at her peplexed.
"Where are you?" she just asked then, with trembling voice.
"I'm getting out of the college now... Hanna, I didn't know who to call, I know you're with your mother, but..."
"Don't worry, I'll be there soon..."
"But you don't have to reschedule for me..."
"Are you joking? My mom can wait, and you need me right now, so... So wait for me there, I'm coming, okay?"
"Thank you, Hanna. Thank you with all my heart... I love you, you don't know how much..."
Hanna felt dirty when she heard the love through his pained words. She hung up upset, wiping away a tear.
"What's up?" Caleb asked then, scared.
Hanna sighed, then she told the driver to stop.
"Caleb, Dave needs me. His father died..." she added, turning towards him.
Caleb bited his lip. He rubbed Hanna's wet cheek and nodded, resigned.
"Got it. I'm sorry, really." he murmured, before opening the cab's door.
"Hey..." Hanna said, grabbing his hand before he got out.
Caleb turned around.
"Remember that I love you." she said.
He smiled at her with bitterness, so he closed the door and watched the cab going away, where Hanna was now reaching her boyfriend, to go comforting him. Caleb sighed deeply, as he waited for another cab. He knew that the unlucky event which had just happened in Dave's life would have prolonged the times to stabilize his relationship with Hanna. He knew that she would have been by his side now, that she should have stayed close to him, and it clearly wasn't the right moment to tell him that she was in love with someone else and so she wanted to break up with him. She couldn't have turned her back at him in a moment like that, especially knowing about his fragility and his father's death. Caleb would have beared this nth low blow, he would have kept waiting, but he couldn't hide the fact that all of this was making him badly suffering.
Hanna hurrily got out of the cab and ran to Dave, sitting outside the college, on the steps. He weakly stood up, and when Hanna approached him, he just opened his arms and held her tight to him. Dave cried silently, shaking, and he hid his face against Hanna's shoulder, as she rubbed his back.
"I'm so sorry, Dave..." she murmured, letting out a few tears as well.
Dave didn't reply, but he kept holding Hanna and crying against the material of her leather jacket. Only after some minutes, he slowly pulled away from the hug and managed to say something.
"Thanks for coming..."
Hanna slightly smiled at him, stretching a hand towards him to wipe away his tears.
"How did it happen?" she murmured then.
"Infarct... In a moment, he wasn't here anymore..."
"You should go home, Dave... Your mother needs you, now like never before..."
"I know, but... I can't, I don't wanna see her broken, and... And I don't wanna see dad like that... I can't do this, Hanna..." he stuttered, restarting trembling.
Hanna held him again.
"Hey, listen to me... Your family really needs you. You're a strong guy, you have to be there for them, and for your father too. You're the man of the house now, got it?" Hanna continued as she hugged him.
Dave nodded weakly, so he returned to look at her in the eyes.
"Come with me?" he added, wiping away a tear.
Hanna sighed.
"I don't feel right about this, Dave. It's a delicate thing, it's right that there will be just you and your family. But call me for anything, okay? Feel free to do it..." she added.
"Yeah, sure. You're right." Dave nodded.
Hanna smiled again at him, so he kissed her on the lips.
"Thank you, Hanna. I don't know how I could without you..." he murmured, before walking to his car.
Hanna sighed again, feeling even more guilty towards him. Her mobile rang again, but this time it was her mother, who was probably wondering where she had ended up.
"Hello?" Hanna picked up.
"So, Hanna? Where are you?"
"Mom, we have to reschedule... Dave's father died..."
"Oh my God... How is he?"
"Not well..."
"Give him an hug for me..."
"He's not with me now, he's gone home. But don't worry, I will."
"Hanna... You were going to break up with him, weren't you?"
Hanna swallowed, taking then a deep breath before answering.
"Yes, I was. Some things happened, and I would have talked to you about it today, but... But I don't feel ready to do it now, not after what happened to Dave."
"Well, I don't know what are these things which happened, but... But he deserves the truth, don't you think?"
"In fact I was about to tell him everything, but... But I really don't think that's opportune to break up with him right now. Not in this moment."
"You have someone else, don't you?"
"Mom, I don't wanna talk about it now, nor by phone..."
"Fine. But you know, I know what means to be cheated on, and it's not a beautiful thing. And I wouldn't wish it to anyone, nor to a nice guy like Dave."
Hanna sighed deeply.
"I know, mom. I know. I have to go now." she concluded, frustrated.
"Sure, let me know when you're gonna come visit me."
"Okay, bye."
Hanna hung up and sat on the steps. And without noticing, she started crying.
She cried because she felt bad. She felt first of all a bitch for what was her situation with Dave, but she also felt like she was in a cage, because she couldn't be with the person whom she actually loved. She was tricking Dave, like her mom had appropriately reminded her too, and she was appeasing her by now clear feelings for Caleb, and both things were making her feel bad, really bad. Bad with herself, with Dave, but also with Caleb, because she perfectly knew that he loved her to death, that he would have waited for her, but that he would surely have gotten hurt hard having to stay watching and waiting, again.
And she would never have wanted to be reason of a pain so big towards people who didn't deserve it at all.
Maybe she should have accepted earlier her love for Caleb, so she would probably have talked earlier to Dave, and now she wouldn't have found herself in a situation so complicated. Maybe she was the one wrong, as always.
Caleb arrived in front of the NYU with his cab, and he couldn't help but notice Hanna with the head bent on her knees on the college steps. He approached her quiet, until he was by her side and he could place a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?" he whispered.
Hanna lifted her head and looked at Caleb with her eyes filled by tears.
"No, I'm not okay at all. But nobody could do anything to make me feel better..." she murmured.
Caleb sighed and sat by her side.
"Caleb, go away." Hanna mumbled then, sniffing.
"Do you really want me to go?"
"Yes, I do. I'm an idiot, I'm good just at making messes, and... I don't deserve all of you to be always after me. Just go away, Caleb, okay?"
"No, it's not okat. You're not an idiot and you're not good just at making messes. And I love you." Caleb replied with decision, searching for her hand.
Hanna shook it off.
"You love me, Caleb? You love me? Why? Why do you love me if I've basically made you sit in the waiting room while I'm doing my things with someone else, huh? I'm treating you like a whatever toy, I... I'm asking you for absurdities, after I've made you suffer every kind of thing for weeks, and... And you love me?" she yelled, with tears falling down her eyes.
Caleb took her face between his hands.
"Yes, I do love you. I love you to death. I love you because you're the best person I know, and if you find yourself in this situation is just because you don't wanna hurt anybody. And this can just be an honorable thing. It's me the one who choose to stay here waiting for you, because I don't want anything but you. And believe me, it's me the one who should ask you why you love a guy like me, after how much I hurt you in the past years, so... Calm down and do what you feel right to do. But you have to know that I love you and I will always love you, so I'm not gonna turn my back at you, got it?"
Hanna sighed and avoided Caleb's gaze, looking to the opposite direction.
"You don't have to pretend to be fine, I know you're suffering because of all this mess..." she said then.
"You don't have to worry about me..."
"Instead I have to, Caleb. This is all my fault..."
"Stop it, okay? I thought we've made clear that it's nobody's fault here... It's right for you to stay close to Dave now. He needs you, and I understand it..."
"What about you? You don't need me?" Hanna replied, returning to look at him in the eyes.
Caleb smiled with bitterness.
"To death." he added honestly, sighing.
"See? See that you feel bad because of me?"
"Hanna, don't worry. I don't want anybody to end up destroyed by this story, neither Dave. He's a person who had serious troubles in his life, and now he's dealing with a very tough moment, so... You're the only one who can help him to get over it. And then, one step per time, you'll tell him how things actually are, and when everything will be fixed, I'll be there, okay? When we will be finally together, you'll see that we won't even remember how much we've suffered in this whole story... Trust me, everything's gonna be okay."
Hanna sighed deeply, wiping away her tears.
"I love you, Caleb, but... I really need to stay alone now." she said then.
He nodded, kissed her on the forehead and got up, slowly walking up the steps which took him inside the college.
A/N: Poor babies :( I know, Dave's father chose a really bad moment to pass away :/ Hanna just want to stay with Dave for a few days because he needs her support after what happened... She doesn't love him that way, but she cares of him, so... (I promise the Dave/Hanna break up will happen in a few chapters!) Anyway don't worry, Haleb will be parted for a while, but the next chapter is taking place twenty days after this, so there will be the reunion already :) Glad you guys liked Caleb's "endurance test" of the last chapter by the way haha ;) And guys, seriously, I don't even have words to describe last episode of PLL... HALEB IS BACK OMG :D I was literally screaming when they kissed, but I also liked a lot the way Caleb said "of course" and the way they held hands, and the way they touched each other, just... Awwwww! I missed Haleb so much :') I liked some quotes too... "If you lose them, you'll always have me." by Caleb, and "Caleb's not a mistake. He's the most un-mistaken thing in my life." by Hanna... Just... AWWWW I CAN'T DEAL WITH MY FEELINGS! ...I hate how the girls are ruining their relationship because of that bitch of Ali btw... Anyway... Let me know what do you think of this bitter chapter... I'd love to know :) Thanks for reading as always and I'd be happy to read your reviews ;) Love you guys! xx -Atramea.