Hey guys – quick upload I'm literally about to go on holiday like now so enjoy!

They were back to normal, whatever normal was. Ellie's nightmares had settled and Clara was finally coming round to not panicking every time she was out of her sight. Clara herself was much better too, finally getting back to her normal mobile self. The twins were certainly giving her the run around, but life was much more enjoyable once again. All 3 girls were in bed now and Danny was sat marking on the sofa when Clara came back downstairs. She knelt down on the sofa beside him, taking one of his arms and holding it and resting her chin on his shoulder. Danny quickly turned his head to kiss the top of hers before looking back at the book in front of him.

"I've been thinking," she spoke up, Danny nodded. "We need to have a holiday."

"Didn't we just book one…?" He asked. They had indeed booked a family trip to Cornwall in the summer, but that's not what Clara was talking about.

"Yeah I know, but I mean just us two. I haven't quite worked out how yet, but we do." Danny nodded again. "Are you listening?" Clara asked.

"I'll think about it." She sighed at his response, taking the pen out of his hand and putting it on the table, forcing him to look up. "Right, tell me what's going on in your mind Danny Pink, something's bothering you." Clara placed a hand on his cheek so she could see his face.

"4 months ago… that night. I went somewhere." Clara sat back a little, nodding. "I never did tell you where."

"I know, I told you it didn't matter. It still doesn't, I trust you. But if something is hurting you I want to know." Danny moved the books off him and on to the table, turning towards her. Clara was concerned about him; he definitely didn't look himself right now.

"One of my friends got in touch, from the army… I was meeting them. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know how I felt, I didn't know what to do. I haven't seen them again since, I just said I needed to focus on my family, but I just can't stop thinking about it and today…" Clara finished his sentence for him.

"…is the anniversary. Danny you should have told me, this is important. Contact him, get back in touch, this is important for you and that makes it important for me too. Is he local?" Danny paused before looking up.

"He's a she… Emma. She was the medic with us, we got on really well, nothing serious or anything she's married, but yes. She's local." Clara smiled to reassure him before replying.

"Then invite her round, with her family too if you like? Pick a date; we're not doing anything tomorrow if you're really keen. Go on, you don't need to hide your phone from me anymore." This was still an area of Danny's life she knew next to nothing about, he just didn't talk about it and if he had some connection that he wanted to explore then Clara knew he should. Danny looked for extra confirmation and Clara smiled as he finally pulled out his phone and dialled the number. She stood up, going to the kitchen to give him privacy.

He was a while, probably 20 minutes or so before he appeared through the kitchen door where Clara had settled with tea. There was a smile - that was a good sign. She stood up, heading over to him and putting her arms around him, smiling back and kissing him quickly.

"Tomorrow afternoon; about half 4? She has a little boy – Freddie, he's the same age as Ellie so it'll be nice for them hopefully. You're really okay with this?" He asked, looking down in to her eyes with his usual awe.

"More than, I'm really happy for you. I feel like there's a side of you I never see, one I shouldn't touch, it'll be nice to see it. In the meantime, I'm really feeling TV and sofa?" Danny kissed her again.

"Really going wild tonight are we?" Clara chuckled and took his hands, going through to settle down for the evening.

~.~.~.~.

The next day Clara was attempting to get everything tidied, and Danny was back to his marking, occasionally lifting his legs for a small child or a hoover.

"Clara please chill out, it doesn't need to be perfect." He spoke as he finished the final book, standing up and taking the duster from her hand. "You make any room fabulous." He smiled, kissing her gently.

"Mmm…" She said as he put a hand round her waist. She pulled the duster back from him. "That doesn't stop me from wanting to make it look half decent." Danny rolled his eyes, going to speak. "If the next sentence contains the words control or freak you'll be in trouble." He paused for a moment, considering his reply.

"You are being a little bit control freaky though…" She gave him a look before pushing him back playfully and trying to hit him with the duster. "You'll only get dust everywhere again and you wouldn't want that would you?" Danny teased while trying to dodge her. Clara stopped, dropping the duster and grinned a little, they both knew what would happen next. Soon enough, she was chasing him upstairs while Ellie happily cheered on both parents in turn, giggling away. Danny managed to get around her and back downstairs and eventually they ended up back in the living room where Clara finally managed to grab him, pulling him down on to the sofa with her, both of them breathing a little heavier but chuckling too as Danny lay semi-on top of her in the position they'd fallen down in. Clara smiled when she noticed Ellie look away just before her parents kissed again.

They didn't really move for a few minutes, only eventually disturbed by the simultaneous noises of the twins waking and the doorbell ringing. Danny kissed her once more before standing up.
"You take door, I'll take children." Clara smiled and went upstairs to collect the twins. Danny went to the door and opened it.

"Come on in," he invited Emma, Leo and Freddie inside. Ellie had joined her Dad, clinging on to his hand. Danny picked her up "Ellie, this is Daddy's friend Emma." Emma smiled at her.

"Lovely to meet you sweetheart." She spoke, Ellie looked at Leo and Freddie too, clearly unsure.

"Who are they?" Ellie asked quietly, looking at Emma as she did.

"This is my husband Leo, and this is Freddie my little boy, he's the same age as you." Freddie jumped forward, waving up at Ellie who eventually decided to wave back. Danny put her down slowly.

"Why don't you show Freddie your toys sweetie? You can play together." They'd had to teach Ellie a lot about sharing, but she was getting there. Danny watched as Ellie took Freddie in to the lounge where she'd been drawing – not going to venture too far just yet. "Come on through, I can put the kettle on. Clara's just…" he started, but was interrupted by her reply behind them."

"Arriving back. You know these two are starting to get too big to carry them both like this." She smiled at Emma. "You must be Emma, lovely to meet you. I'd shake your hand but, well, I don't get much use of them at the moment." Emma laughed, coming closer to look at the twins. "Your left is Chloe, right is Faith. They just woke up so the mood is quite good right now."

"They're gorgeous, could I?" Clara nodded, carefully transferring Faith to her and shifting Chloe a little in hers. "I heard a lot about you all when we last met. I'm… sorry about that, by the way, I had no idea." Clara shook her head, smiling at Faith as she settled in Emma's arms.

"No worries, it's in the past now. I'm afraid I haven't heard too much about you, but Danny had good reasons for that. I gather you were in his unit?" Danny had gone through to the kitchen with Leo to collect drink and check on the dinner.

"Yeah I was. We were sort of each other's rocks out there, it's not easy, and once you're back there's nobody that really understands." Clara nodded.

"I learnt that the hard way believe me." Emma looked curious at her. "Our first date was… a bit of a disaster to put it mildly. I touched a nerve or two – unintentionally of course – but yeah. Touchy subject at first, but to save any repeats congratulations on any wells you dug." Emma laughed, Clara smiled a little too at the memory which had become somewhat of a joke over the years. "On the plus side he pissed me off too so it was quite clear by the time we'd both walked out we were meant to be together." Emma's eyes widened. "Eh it's okay by the end of the night we were kissing on his sofa." She missed out the bit about time travelling in between. "So did you guys lose contact after Danny left then? I don't really know much…"

Emma sat down on the sofa with Faith at that point and Clara joined her, looking over to check Ellie was still happy but she seemed settled playing with Freddie.
"He wanted a clean break which I understood. I didn't necessarily agree, but it wasn't my decision to make. A few months ago we moved in to the area and I was looking around schools and I spotted his name on the website and so tried to get in contact. I think you know the rest?" Clara nodded in agreement and looked down at Chloe. "Do you know what happened out there?" Emma had clearly been battling over whether to ask that question and Clara had to think about the answer.

"Yes… yes I found out over time." Clara could tell there was something else she wanted to ask, it took a few moments.

"Does it still affect him?" Another difficult question and one she knew she had to answer carefully. "I did try to ask him but he diverted the question…"

"It does, but it's not always a bad thing. He's amazing at his job, he loves the kids. A few weeks ago there was a fire at the school, I found him in a cupboard getting the class to do times tables to keep them calm. I've never known anyone like him before… but I do know what you're really getting at, and yes. Not as much, but occasionally." Emma smiled a little; Clara could see the look in her eyes she'd grown accustomed to seeing in Danny's. "Do you still struggle?"

"Not as much, I didn't go through the same as Danny did, and Leo's ex-army too so we can talk about things." Danny walked back in at that moment. "You two took your time!" Emma smiled up at them. Clara spotted Chloe starting to get a bit wriggly in her arms.

"Ah, feeding time. Danny can you take Chlo and I'll sort out the bottles?" Clara handed Chloe over and went in to the kitchen to retrieve two bottles for warming. To be honest, she simply needed out of the conversation before she started to tear up – Clara hated not being able to be there for Danny in the way he needed her sometimes. She knew he still had nightmares sometimes, she knew it still haunted him, but he tried to hide it and she just stopped mentioning it anymore which suddenly she felt incredibly guilty for.

The more she thought about it, the more emotional she became and eventually she knew she couldn't hide away forever. Clara wiped quickly at her eyes to make sure and went out with the bottles. By the time she was back out Danny had both twins happily positioned on his lap – this was his feed as it had been with Ellie once she was on to bottles too, so Clara handed them over. The three of them were in deep conversation about something army related and Clara decided it wasn't worth butting in on and went back in to sort out dinner.

~.~.~.~.

Dinner went alright in the end, but Clara did keep quiet for the most part and instead spent more time serving and checking on the twins or helping Ellie out where needed. She was a little grateful when the evening went on and Emma decided they should get Freddie home. Clara had already disappeared upstairs with a quick goodbye, taking Ellie up before she missed her bedtime and leaving Danny down to say his own farewells. Just as they were about to leave, Emma stopped and turned to Danny.

"I think Clara might have felt a little left out tonight… sorry about that." Danny smiled, he had to admit he'd been concerned, but as Clara had said herself – tonight was about him.

"Don't worry; she's been through a lot recently. Once Ellie's settled we'll have a chat as normal, she'll be fine. See you soon yeah?" They hugged quickly and Danny stood at the door until their car had pulled off. He shut the door and locked it, smiling a little as he spotted all the drawings Ellie and Freddie had been doing all over the floor but left them for now, heading upstairs. He looked in on Ellie's room and found her already asleep – no surprise, but he was a little confused as to where Clara had got to. After checking the twin's room he went to their bedroom, walking in to find Clara lying on the bed and going through their wedding album. "Clara…" he started, but she interrupted almost immediately.

"I'm fine. Only came in to grab a jumper but I got a little distracted, everyone gone?" Danny made his way over, sitting on his side of the bed and looking down at the photos.

"Yep, all quiet on the western front. You sure you're alright?" Clara sighed gently and shut the album.

"Yes, of course. I am super tired though, can we settle in bed?" She sat herself up and smiled, kissing him gently. "I'm just going to shower." Clara jumped off the bed and headed to the bathroom to shower, leaving Danny on the bed not totally convinced by her answers. None the less, whilst she showered he got himself sorted for bed and went to make tea for them to have. By the time she had reappeared Danny was back on the bed, holding tea ready for her. Clara climbed in to bed beside him and took the tea, positioning herself to lean against him. "Did you have a good time then?" Danny moved an arm to go round her shoulders.

"Yeah it was lovely to catch up properly and to have you there this time, thank you for everything you did sweetheart." Danny rubbed her arm gently and Clara just shrugged in response, sipping at her tea.

"I didn't do much; I just wanted you to enjoy it that's all. I have my Dad and my Gran; you need something that's yours too. You need someone to talk to about all that… I know it still bothers you." Clara turned her head up and kissed him. "What're you thinking, you're thinking about something?" She shifted herself up a little, concerned.

"I'm thinking that you are very on edge and I don't want you to be. I haven't changed you know? Still the same Mr Pink." Clara nodded, relaxing in his grip. "Nothing is different, nothing at all." He put his mug down so he could use his spare hand to play with her hair. "I still have the most beautiful, gorgeous and amazing wife." Clara smiled, kissing him deeply. "Mmmm that's better." She chuckled, putting her mug down now and turning to him.

"I think I have some apologising to do…"

~.~.~.~.

Sleep came easy and early, but Clara was woken just before 1am by Ellie pulling on her arm. Clara took a moment to adjust before realising who was there.

"Mummy! Faith is all upset and she woke up Chloe and now they're both crying and I couldn't make them feel better I'm sorry." Clara sat herself up and immediately kissed Ellie on the forehead.

"Hey hey you don't have to do anything okay? Mummy should have woken up I'm sorry darling, are you okay?" Ellie nodded, hugging Clara who picked her up, stood up and laid her down where she had just been. "You keep Daddy warm okay? Good girl El." She kissed her again and went out to the twins who were being really quite vocal. Clara sat down beside the cot, lowering the side and taking them both out so she could hold them. "Are we hungry eh? Bit early tonight aren't we? Alright sweeties but we're going to have to get clever tonight because Mummy failed to express last night – we'll blame Daddy for that shall we?" She smiled, starting to position them to feed – this had got difficult very quickly hence the expressing, but there was little choice right now. Clara settled down in the chair once they were happy.

A few minutes later Ellie appeared at the door with her thumb in her mouth – something she only did now if she was scared.
"Mummy something's wrong with Daddy…" she whimpered quietly, Clara sat up a little.

"What do you mean darling?" Clara asked, looking down at the twins and then back to Ellie.

"He's sad and wriggly but he won't wake up." Clara wanted to stand up and go to him immediately but the twins made that difficult.

"Okay darling, alright thank you for telling me. You go back to bed now alright? I'll come and see you soon but you try and sleep." She waited for Ellie to leave before turning her attention to the twins who were thankfully just about finishing up and dropping back to sleep. "Good timing you two." She carefully placed them back in the cot where she'd normally wait for them to be fully asleep and ran back to Danny. As she'd feared he was having a nightmare again, the first for a while. Clara went to him, wrapping her arms around him tightly to stop him thrashing and whispering in his ear.

"I'm here, I'm here and everything is okay, everyone is safe." His nightmares were nearly always to do with one of them now, usually her. "Danny, Danny listen to me and wake up now okay? It' s just a nightmare there is nothing real about it." They didn't normally go on this long; it was beginning to worry her now. "Come on Danny…" she kissed him carefully, something which seemed to settle him a little. "There we go, wake up now." Clara kept holding him, running a thumb along his cheek and then taking his hand.

Emma was right, nobody understood this. Clara did her best, she tried so hard, but she didn't know how this felt for him. After 7 years she was getting better, but that didn't make her brilliant. She wanted to ask why it still troubled him, but the fact was that it was never going away – it was part of Danny, she knew that from the start. It made him who he was, sometimes that was good – sometimes not so much.

Eventually his eyes flickered open and he went to push away but she kept a tight hold until he recognised where he was. Danny turned to face her, throwing his arms around her tightly and kissing her softly – definitely about her this time. Clara looked him in the eyes before he kissed her again, deeper this time. She pulled back, shaking her head and taking his hands.

"No, no last time we did that it was bad. I'm here okay, I'm safe and alive and completely okay I promise." Danny knew she was right, but he also couldn't let go of her just in case. Clara let him hold her; she curled up against him, playing with his right hand whilst his left rested on her stomach. "Talk to me." She whispered in to the silence that had covered the room.

"It was different." She'd figured as much, it felt different to her as well. "I didn't mean to let you go, I didn't want to I…" Clara kissed his fingers gently. "I couldn't protect you."

"You didn't have to, it was just a dream. You always protect me in real life, always." Clara let that settle in before asking her next question. "What triggered it?" She always had to ask him, he'd told her always to ask him, but that didn't make it an easy question.

"Something that Emma said about you being left out… I don't know, it was playing on my mind I guess. With all the army talk things probably stirred up." Danny was so fragile after these dreams, a state that nobody else ever saw him in. "I'm so sorry I woke you."

"I was already awake, the twins…" now probably wasn't the time to tell him it had been Ellie that first noticed. "Danny I wasn't left out, I was fine. You three had a lot to talk about and I got that okay? I just realised that there's so much I can't do for you and I really wish I could understand it all."

Danny pulled her closer, although she wasn't convinced that was possible but it turned out it was.
"You are everything I need, that stands as much now as it does in anything else, I don't expect you to know everything; I don't want you to know everything. I want you to know me now, not then." Clara nodded and then remembered something.

"Ellie… I need to go and see her, I promised I would." She stood up, but Danny kept hold of her hand. "I'm going down the hall for 2 minutes, I'll be back. You can count if you like." Clara lifted his hand up and kissed it softly before letting go. Thankfully Ellie was asleep when she checked in, but Clara tucked her in gently and double checked on the twins too before she went back.

"All asleep?" Clara nodded and climbed back in to bed. "How come El was awake?" He asked, Clara knew she couldn't lie.

"She heard the twins before I did, came to tell me. I left her in here…" Danny realised where she was going with this before she finished. "You were only a little restless when she left, but we'll have to explain in the morning." She lay back down, her head resting on his chest. "You should sleep now." Clara could hear his heartbeat as he lay there – it was still going fast.

"Not sure I can to be honest." Danny replied as she'd expected, but Clara knew he was just scared. She practically forced him to be lying back down properly joining him once he was comfortable.

"I'm still right here, still going nowhere. Just try resting your eyes at least, I know you're tired." She watched as he reluctantly shut them and soon relaxed in to it. "Don't be worried, think of all the good things we've done and our beautiful children – we did that. Together. No guns, no bombs, no running. Just you, me and an awful lot of tea." He smiled a little, but she could tell he was starting to fall asleep. "Whatever happens in your dreams, it can never be real, it can never rule our lives. I promise you I will always be here, I couldn't imagine being anywhere else." He was definitely asleep now – his grip had loosened on her and his breathing evened out. "Between us we muddle through don't we? I'm sorry I'm not perfect at it, but I'll always try." Clara settled down again, shutting her own eyes and falling asleep once more.

See y'all in a week or so. I'm hoping to do some writing whilst I'm away but we'll see how it goes.

Love xx