Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

TDF

Friday, October 7, 2011 – 12:47 pm – Ladies Night, O'Mallory's Pub & Grub, Port Angeles, WA

"Bella, your 'bad luck' is not because of orange panties. It's not even bad luck, it's just your lack of verbal filter and tendency to go a bit loopy regarding all things Edward Cullen," Alice pats me on the back with surprising force from her tiny hand, as I drunkenly wallow in my day's failures.

"Tanya Denali is a bit of a kook and could not possibly foresee that because you wore a pair of orange panties, you would yell at a customer and son of our business partner, then ask a stranger that left you a creepy voicemail on a date. All of that foresight stuff is just a bunch of hogwash."

Alice growls a little thinking of Tanya's misplaced meddling in her own life and hands me my fourth pomegranate martini of the night. I know I should stop, the voice in my head tells me four martinis is a bad idea, but I take a drink instead.

"Well," I slur to Alice. "I couldn't chance anymore fuck-ups. I took my panties off at lunchtime and shoved 'em in my purse after I knocked over a cart of books for re-shelving. Wasn't taking anymore chances."

Alice's peels of laughter ring out and I am not sure if she is laughing at my clumsiness or the fact that I am sitting here commando. She starts in on a story about her day at the restaurant supply store and I allow her voice to be drowned out by the hustle and bustle of O'Mallory's on ladies night.

I am surrounded by beautiful young women, dressed to the nines, dancing, laughing, flirting and hoping to catch the eye of one of the few eligible males in the bar. I am hit with a sudden pang to my gut when I realize that I cannot possibly continue to compete with these girls. Everyday more and more women turn 21 and I keep getting older and less attractive.

An ear piercing shriek from Alice brings me out of my self-pitying haze, and I almost fall off my stool as I whip around to see what is the matter.

I must move to slow because Alice's tongue is already half way down Jasper's esophagus by the time I am able to fully react to the moment. Those two must have tongues made of magnets.

"Well hey there Miss Isabella Swan," Teddy smirks as he siddles up next to me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I slur and reel back.

"Jasper was concerned by all of the drunken texts Alice was sending him, so we dropped my car at your place and came here to pick you two up."

Teddy smiles triumphantly. Ugh.

"I don't need a knight in shining armor to drive me home from the bar," I sneer. "That is what taxi cabs are for."

"Give me a chance, Swan," Teddy shoulder bumps me and I wobble on my stool a little.

"Look at you," he chuckles. "Alice really got you sloshed tonight, didn't she?"

"I had a bad day and she was trying to make-up for a disagreement we had earlier this week," I shrug off his judgment.

"Well you need to be at work in less than five hours, so let's get you home," he tugs on my elbow gently and gathers my purse.

"Excuse me, DAD," I frown at him. "But, Alice gave me the day off tomorrow. So, I don't have to go anywhere."

Teddy slides onto the stool next to me and I suddenly realize that Alice and Jasper have left.

"Alice didn't say goodbye," I whine.

"She didn't have the chance, I think Jasper swallowed her tongue," Teddy jokes and I laugh like it's the funniest joke I have ever heard.

"So, now that your friend is gone, do you want to sit here and help me bat off a bunch of college girls in short skirts, or do you want me to take you home?" He eyes me confidently knowing my answer already.

"Home," I sigh.

TDF

As he drives my Jeep back to my apartment, Teddy will not stop glancing over at me. I stopped by the bathroom on our way out of the bar and tried to clean myself up, but I am sure I still look like quite the drunken mess. Teddy is usually half inebriated himself when I am in such a state, he is probably appalled at my appearance.

Its Teddy, what do I care? I ask myself. Drunken me just shrugs and crosses her arms in response.

"Come on, Swan," Teddy encourages. "Buck up, you are usually a much more enthusiastic and entertaining drunk. This sad Bella routine is getting me down."

"I told you I had a bad day," I whine. "Edward Cullen asked me on a date and I freaked out on his married ass, banning him from the café, then I called up Jacob Black, one of my dad's friends kids, someone I haven't laid eyes on since I was ten, and asked him on a romantic date to The Wharf."

"Good on you, telling Cullen off. He deserves it, and I don't care what Alice says about customer service," he grins over at me, before returning his eyes to the road

"Sucks about the date, though," Teddy shrugged. "Just go out the once and then you will be free to date other more qualified and familiar men.

I snort at that. Qualified and familiar men, I know no one that falls under that category. Maybe I should just buy my ten cats now, Teddy could drive me by a 24hr animal shelter. Those have to exist somewhere.

"Whatever," I huff. "It's not even my fault all of this happened anyway."

"What do you mean it isn't your fault? You were the one that said the words that got you a date with a stranger and told off Cullen," he asks confused. "Though I will maintain that yelling at Cullen was a brilliant move."

"It's because I wore orange today," I pout.

"Bella you can't be serious, a piece of clothing cannot hold any control over your luck or karma or what have you. Trust me, I played baseball for years, we had all sorts of stupid superstitions, none of them were true. Wearing a certain color did not change your luck today," Teddy stresses as he laughs at me.

"No, I am serious! It was my panties," I start to ramble. "My panties were orange and Tanya said don't wear orange on Friday, but I did, and look at all that happened. So I had to take them off. Had to put them in my purse and spend the day commando. I am commando right now."

Teddy, obviously shocked and maybe a little disgusted by my revelation, jerks the car over onto the shoulder briefly. The quick readjustment causes my purse to tumble over off the console between us and my orange lace panties fly out and land right in Teddy's lap.

AN: Soooo much longer than I ever intended it to be. And half the things I wanted to be said tonight weren't. Meh. Hope you still like it.

Remember, no Beta, though LiveThruYou and IWant2Sparkle give me greenlights everynight, it is just me writing in the moment and having fun with these goofy characters.

See you tomorrow!