Chapter 21

Lauren settled after a while, and Max was thankful Tanya hadn't go back in yet. "I'm Sorry Daddy…" Lauren whispered, but remained in the comfort of her Dad's hold.

"What are you sorry for ay?" he really was confused, she hadn't got anything to be sorry for. If anything, it should be his wife apologising.

"For putting you and Mum through all this, for being so selfish" Max felt her tense in his arms "because I am aren't I ? I never think about what this is doing to you or to Mum…for the last 18 years it's always been about me"

"And that's the way it should be babe… your our daughter Lauren. You'll understand when you have your own kids" he said, he noticed Lauren had stopped crying, she seemed more than calm now.

"That's another thing isn't it? You and Mum never had any other kids. That's because of me too" she looked up at him, pushing herself up and wiping her eyes "isn't it?"

Max reached for her face, cupping her cheek softly. "Now listen to me, if me and your Mum wanted more children, we would have had them. But we didn't and do you know why?" she shook her head "Because we have our perfect girl already, we love you Lauren, never forget that."

"I'm scared Dad… what if I don't wake up? If something goes wrong" she took a shaky breathe "are you scared Dad?"

"I'm scared every day Lauren, scared that me and Mum will come into your room on a morning and you won't be breathing... but it's ok to be scared Lauren."

There was silence between them for a while until Lauren spoke "It's sad isn't it really? That someone had to die so I could be saved…"

Max nodded "I know baby" he saw her thinking, the concentration really set on her face. "Mum didn't mean it Lauren, she's just scared too . We know how grateful you are baby girl and we know how much you've been through"

They were interrupted by the Nurse from earlier, she knocked gently on the door and stepped in "am I ok to come in?" Lauren couldn't help but roll her eyes, she still didn't like her much.

"Sure" Lauren said. She turned her attention to the door as Tanya walked back in. Lauren could see she'd been crying as much as she had, and that hurt a little. "Mum?" She held out her hand and Tanya stepped forward.

"I'm here…" she whispered "right here"

"Lauren, I need you to get dressed into the gown for me and then we'll start you on your dialysis for tonight" Lauren agreed without a fuss, she just wanted it over with now. Tanya helped her change into a gown and back into the bed. The nurse set the dialysis up connecting it to Lauren. "I'll be back in the morning, Lauren ok"

"Thanks". She turned over in the bed and pulled the covers up trying to create some warmth.

Tanya was sat to her side, rhythmically brushing her fingers through her hair, "Get some sleep baby girl… and this time tomorrow it'll all be over".

This was meant to be up earlier but if you follow me on twitter you'll know I've been in A&E (again) because the stupid idiot I am, I accidentally stuck my fingers together with superglue 🙈 :( so yes all better now !

Lauren is so insecure poor girl, but nothing her Daddy couldn't fix. Let's hope the operation goes smoothly hey ? Keep up the reviews please, they make me smile, hearing all your ideas and thoughts, back tomorrow Xx