Natasha had hoped that, given some time, things might start to look up and get better, that maybe even in the crazy days that came to follow her messing up the convergence she might lose focus of what had happened, that the nightmares of waking up with blood between her legs would stop, that she might not feel as though she had a gaping hole in her chest.

It didn't.

For the next two weeks she went to bed with a feeling of trepidation, never knowing which of the nightmares she'd have to deal with and hating them all the same. Loki often spent his evenings with her, just holding her and soothing her as best he could when she'd wake up, and more often than not Thor would come and do the same, wanting to help in any way he could. Since it helped Natasha, and kept happening over and over again, Loki had long since learned to stop dissenting. Nat couldn't have been any more grateful, huddling closer to the both of them each night, face buried in either Loki or Thor's chest as she trembled and sobbed. She'd never been this broken down before, not after her parent's death, not after she'd been brought here. Somehow this felt real, more strange and because so it seemed to have more power over her unconscious mind. Loki had offered potions to help her get through the night, to keep her from dreaming, and though she appreciated the gesture she'd always shake her head. No, she needed to conquer this herself, however she could, no matter how long it took.

But time, it seemed, was anywhere but on their side. The Allfather was getting close to waking up, and more than once she'd caught Thor and Loki hissing conversations to one another, Thor's hands tight as though they imagined strangling Loki, while the latter simply glared daggers more dangerous and sharp than real ones as he countered whatever Thor was saying. They would always stop whenever Natasha would enter the room, having disappeared to either speak with the queen, who'd been requesting her presence more often (likely as a result of the boys asking her for guidance), or else returning from yet another sparring or training session. Fighting was the one thing she knew, could master, and as such she threw herself into training as she hadn't done since her days fighting and infiltrating for the Red Room, trying to find the same nirvana that she had once before, the same drive. Some days were better than others, that was certain, but as she felt her body grow more comfortable with the strain, stronger with the hours spent practicing, she noticed a certain amount of tension slip from her mind as well. Fighting and sparring were two things she could always be able to lose herself in, and the others were more than accommodating in helping her achieve whatever help she needed, Sif especially.

It didn't hurt that the goddess was looking for tips from Natasha about Steve, but Nat didn't mind that either, the conversation easy between the two of them as they went back and forth, exchanging blows, Sif conscious of avoiding Natasha's stomach, and Nat grateful for the thoughtfulness.

"Has Loki asked you, yet?" The goddess asked one afternoon, the pair of them taking a break for water, both covered in sweat and grinning like idiots as the post-fighting endorphins kicked in. Nat's brow furrowed as she took a deep drink from her mug.

"Asked me what?"

Sif's lips made a small 'o' of surprise and she flushed, murmuring that it was nothing. Nat had never seen her look so flustered before and though her mind tried to fill in the gaps herself with what she imagined Sif could be talking about it only added more strain, rather than take away. Whatever it was Loki wanted to ask her she wasn't too sure she wanted to hear, didn't know if she could even think of. It wasn't that she didn't love him, she later explained when Sif asked her about what her feelings were towards the man.

"I do. He's an ass sometimes," she admitted while ducking low to avoid a kick to the face, catching Sif around the knee and bringing her down with a loud slam to the mat. "But we all are, it doesn't make me love him any less, but-."

"Thor?" Sif offered, flipping herself back up and driving her fists towards Natasha's face. Nat managed to block most of them, though the one to the jaw hurt like a bitch.

"Exactly. The last time I tried to get caught between them it didn't end well, but the thought of losing both-." The lump in her throat made her an easier target, allowing Sif to sneak a move in which to floor the red head, and Sif apologized for it a moment later. Nat waved it away. "They've both helped me so much with . . . with what happened." Would she ever be able to say it? To fully come to terms with it?

An obsession with the past had gotten her into trouble before, though, and hagalaz burned as though to remind her of her mistakes. But how did she get away from that?

"So don't decide," Sif said, lips pulling back in the smallest of smiles. "Tell them they can both have you or not at all. They've shared most everything else in their lives, I don't see how this should be any different."

"But-." Nat frowned, trying to comprehend how it would even work, though she couldn't eny the idea was really appealing. She wouldn't mind be shared by either of them, especially since they both held her heart captive in their own ways. They'd been perfectly polite and gentle to her after her accident, never once asking for anything in return, and she couldn't have asked for better help with her night problems.

"But nothing." Sif smiled as she stood in front of Nat, shoulders relaxed and chest heaving with how hard her breathing was coming. Nat watched as she reached a hand out to cup Natasha's chin. "They both love you, it's obvious to anyone with eyes, so neither will give you up while they can help it. They won't like it at first, but since when have either of them been conventional?" Her bright eyes softened. "And if they both help then you tell them that. Your heart and happiness and health right now takes precedence. Understand? Natasha, don't cry." She sounded apologetic but Nat couldn't help it, her emotions running very close to the surface lately. It was uncomfortable most of the time, like when she broke down in front of Frigga or Baelor, the newest captain of the guard when he told her (with good reason) that it would be awhile before they could allow her back onto the guard. But with Sif, who put her arms around Natasha without hesitation though Nat knew, had it been anyone else, she would've told them to toughen up? It felt how Nat imagined coming home after being gone for years might, comforting and non-judgemental, welcoming, as though she and Sif were family. They might as well have been. Damn her for getting choked up again; the whole emotion thing just wasn't working for her.

"Thank you," Natasha breathed shakily, smiling up at Sif with water eyes. Sif just chuckled quietly and nodded to signify it wasn't a problem before she nudged Nat in the side.

"You'd better go to them," Sif murmured. "Before they kill one another in competition."

"Right. Thanks," she smiled and couldn't help but add: "Oh, and you and Rogers better tell one another how you really feel. I might just slap you both if you don't stop making eyes at one another."

"And here I was, helping you from the goodness of my heart, and you bring that up?" Sif asked as she watched Nat leave. "Thanks Natasha."

"Thank me when something finally comes of it," Nat threw over her shoulder, for the first time feeling lighter than she had in days. Months, even.

Natasha found both princes in Frigga's study, raised voices stifled by the soft knock on the door. Loki answered and his face immediately softened to see Natasha, gaze brightening when she gave him a small, genuine smile and pressed her lips to his cheek. "Can I come in?"

"Certainly," he said, standing to the side to allow her entry. Thor smiled to see her, standing and embracing her gently. She returned the gesture and kissed his cheek as well. Oki, though he'd long since stopped pouting every time she showed Thor affection, looked away at where Frigga was seated at the side of the room, watching her with a look of curiosity. The Allmother chuckled.

"I didn't summon her here, this is for you three to discuss; it's not my business." Frigga said as she rose. After greeting Natasha she excused herself, saying she'd be with the still slumbering Allfather if they needed her. Her lengthened stare at the boys almost signified something, but Nat left it at that. Loki almost seemed like a lost child, his eyes fixed to where his mother had disappeared. What the hell had happened? Her gaze turned expectantly to Loki, then to Thor, who was also staring at his brother. The dark haired man huffed.

"Really? You're putting this one on me?"

"Do you honestly want me to explain it?" Thor asked, arching a brow. Based on Loki's slight wince he had him there.

"Right," Loki sighed as he locked the door with a simple spell and led the, quite confused Natasha, to a chair. She took in their body postures, the way that they both tensed as they looked from themselves then back to her. Loki seemed more tense than anyone, with his hands fisting then relaxing as he tried to calm himself, while Thor's simply acted as though they were about to summon Mjolnir, as though he needed the strength of the hammer. Geez, who had died?

"Okay, the pair of you acting so strange is not helping at all," Natasha broke the silence, turning her curious gaze from one to the other. "What is wrong?"

"Your actions, your treason against me and against the Allfather's plans-while admirable," Loki said. "Had a certain effect that is not recommended."

"It reversed, I know that much," she said, sitting forward in her chair to watch as they stood a little closer together, as though self consciously preparing themselves for the worst. Strange and hilarious that they only became closer as a result. "You think he will seek me out and, what, lock me up?"

"Our father is not known for his mercy," Thor admitted with a grimace, his eyes going dark, and he stepped forward to take her hands between his own and squeeze them. "But we think we have a plan for how to keep him from that path, as neither of us want to lose you. You see, were you to-."

"Natasha, marry me." Loki cut in, his green eyes catching her surprised ones, while Thor in front of her wheeled around, a snarl on his face. Before he could retort Natasha squeezed his hands to keep him in front of her, though she couldn't deny that her heart had stopped for a full half a second at Loki's words. "It will keep the Allfather from being able to kill you; as a princess of Asgard, and my bride, you will not be able to be touched. You could be protected, and I love you. I want you to be my wife-."

"Yes, well you ought to get in line," Thor growled, eyes narrowing as he watched his brother. "You are not the only one who loves her, Loki. I, too, feel deeply for you," he said as he turned to Natasha, switching to bend down on one knee. Above him, Loki rolled his eyes. "And I would be honored to have you as my wife."

Oh. She felt her throat clench up, her eyes searching one, then the other. What the hell kind of situation was this? Whose idea was it to put her in such a shitty position? When she didn't say anything both of them turned to the other in fury, angry for pushing her into choosing, for putting unnecessary pressure on her when she needed to be relaxed, for jumping the gun and not providing a unified front like Frigga had suggested-.

"I love you both," she murmured, her eyes seeking the both of their gazes, looking as equally between the two of them as she possibly could. "I came to tell you both that I didn't-I tried going behind both of your backs before to be with the other one, and as a consequence I've got strong feelings for you both. Loki, I trust you and am glad to have your trust, and Thor you are a constant source of my strength. I could not put one ahead of the other, and would not even if I could." She said, watching as they both grew more confused. Hah. Good, at least they knew how badly it sucked to be in such a confusion position. "And I would have you both, or not at all and escape to Midgard to avoid your father. If you both intend to put me in a compromising position-."

"You would never be able to escape him," Loki countered.

"Then you'll both lose me for good." She said, lifting her chin defiantly. His eyes widened at the shock of it and quickly recanted. She struggled not to smirk as the pair of them shared a look of resignation. She owed Sif, and vowed to push Rogers into making the first move if it killed her. The poor woman deserved as much happiness in her life as she could get.

"Natasha, you cannot marry us both. There are strict laws against polygamy in Asgard," Thor murmured.

"But not laws against cheating, correct? And it's not truly cheating if we are all in agreement to share and not get jealous. It's something we all need to work on as it is," Nat murmured, herself included. She would have to keep herself from feeling anything of the sort when, and if, Thor found himself another woman who caught his eye, or even Loki. She gnawed on her bottom lip. "If marriage is the only way to keep me from dying, as you say, then it would anger the Allfather less if I married Loki. No offense," she said, catching his far too excited to care grin. Thor looked crestfallen, but she tipped his chin up, her eyes meeting his. "If I married the heir to Asgard's throne, the one who will likely be married off for political reasons, the Allfather would only seek to null our marriage and I'd find myself either dead or married to Loki. Or worse. Correct?"

"Aye," Thor murmured, though it was clear he still didn't like it. Natasha brought her lips to his in a quick kiss.

"You don't have to like it, but it's the only plan I can think of since you two seem so determined to pop this on me and I cannot stand to lose either of you," she admitted, beckoning Loki over to her so she could take his hand and kiss him as well. It was a mark of how far he came that he didn't even flinch. He was getting her out of the bargain, after all. "But I would like to be the both of yours so long as you are willing to have me, else I'll go pack my things and get out before he wakes up, as you said."

"No," Thor cut in with a heavy sigh, bringing the hand he still clutched in his own up to his lips. "I would rather you alive and married to Loki and still partially mine than dead or on the run from my father, where I cannot protect you."

"And I will do my best to keep from getting jealous and throwing Thor off the bifrost again," Loki murmured hastily at Natasha's look. Well, it was a start. She just smiled and once more kissed them in turn.

"Besides, have either of you considered the all too exciting prospects of all three of us in the bedroom?" She teased, winking when Loki snorted and Thor gave a hearty laugh, the mood lightening. "I couldn't do without you. The last couple weeks . . . I need you both. Please."

It was Loki this time who embraced her first, drawing her up and into his arms, allowing Thor to hug her from behind as she took her now familiar place between them. She couldn't imagine being any happier anywhere else. "We're here for you," he promised in her ear, kissing her cheeks in turn, then her forehead. Her heart ached at the touch, the familiarity of it all, and how perfect it felt to be between them, as though it was meant to be this way from the beginning.

Hell, maybe if she'd just proposed it from the get go she could've avoided all the pain of the last few months. She smiled against Loki's chest, burying her head in it, doubtful that with their stubborn antics anything else but the very worst would've gotten through their heads.

The ceremony was very small, and held that night with Frigga officiating. The Warriors Three, Sif, Steve, and Thor all turned up to watch Natasha and Loki wed, Natasha's gown white with elegant golden beading and filigree around the torso and hips, the one long shoulder, and the hem. Loki and Thor both looked their finest, dressed in their ceremonial garb, and though she said her vows to Loki she could feel Thor's presence as a comfort beside her, calming her heart and her mind as much as Loki did when he stared into his eyes for his vows.

"Natasha, my darling, I love you more than I can possibly hope of conveying within the few minutes I have to speak, and I just want to say that you have made me the most happy man in the nine realms. I could not imagine living with anyone else but you for the rest of time. There is no sun, no moon, no purpose without you, and the day you said yes to being my bride is only eclipsed by today, when you-hopefully," he teased. "Say yes to be mine, and for me to be yours from this day until the end of days." He swallowed thickly. "I love you my darling girl."

Natasha felt her throat seize up, her eyes already welling with tears, knees going weak enough that she had to force herself to lock them just to stand straight. "Wow," she managed to croak, much to the chuckles of those around her, even Thor, who reached over to squeeze her shoulder and kiss her cheek. His own way of approving, she supposed. "How the hell am I supposed to say no to that?" She teased, blinking quickly to keep herself from crying. Norns knew she'd done far too much of that recently, and this was too happy a day to ruin with tears. "I love you, too. You're one of the only ones I've ever met who's been able to keep up with me and keep me in check, yet you've never once acted as though you were better than I am, but as though we're equals." Though she kept his eye for the speech she hoped Thor knew she meant the same for him. "I've never had anyone do that for me, and the last few weeks has only solidified that I couldn't imagine being any happier than where I am right now."

Loki's grin was infectious, forcing her own upwards as her pulse skyrocketed. Frigga was even a little misty-eyed as she offered them both the chalice in front of her, the pair drinking the mulled wine slowly, bodies turned to face one another and eyes locked the entire time. As they shared their first kiss as man and wife she shivered in his hold, moaned at the taste of wine on his lips and the feel of him against her, the knowledge that she couldn't have been any luckier hitting her hard enough to bring tears to her eyes.

That night, after the mild feast they'd had in celebration, she took both men to bed, and though she didn't feel up to much she spent as long as she could kissing them until her lungs ached and her lips were swollen, their fingers threaded together like their lives depended on it. She'd never felt so safe, so protected as she did between the pair, and as she fell asleep with her head on Thor's broad chest, Loki's lips caressing her throat as she floated into oblivion, Thor's heart her lullabye, she knew she was home.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and for being so patient with me! For those who don't know my computer just bit the dust. Sigh. So any future updates are going to be slow until I either manage to get it fixed or get a replacement. My roommate is a saint who let me borrow her laptop to get this up, so many many thanks to her, and to everyone for sticking through this with me! Love you all and your comments are spectacular.

P.S. Following this fic there will be a second, follow-up fic, called "Consign Me Not To Darkness", and likely third part to this story, so please stick around, follow/keep me on your alerts if you're interested and-should I get the chance to get some chapters written I'll publish them ASAP! If you don't want to wait and are looking for snippets, I'm going to be updating my tumblr under the tag "darkness" and bits of what I've got [so I don't keep clogging up the blackfrost tag.] Again, thank you all so much, I love you to pieces, and your support is beyond inspirational.