Chapter 21: Water

I am hysterical. I sob. I scream. I beat my hands on the tree. I can't compose myself. I don't even try.

Charles is dead.

Thaddeus is done with the rest of the announcements before I can think clearly enough to listen. I curl up in a ball on my tree branch and cry. I don't try to be quiet. I hope someone hears me. I hope they come. I want to be out of here.

Charles was my last shred of hope. I already knew I would die, but I thought maybe - just maybe - I could save Charles somehow. It kept me going more than I realized. I think of Charles. His body is laying in this arena somewhere, being circled by vultures. He is cold and alone. I wonder who killed him. I guess I'll never know. When I finally open my eyes and sit up, night has fully descended. I hear small animals scampering through the forest, but mostly there is silence. No one comes for me. No one will put me out of my misery. I realize I'm shivering. I don't know if it's from the cold or from my body's inability to cope with this situation. It has gotten chilly since the sun went down. I can't make myself care. I lean against the tree and look at the stars. The unchanging sky calms me a little. I remember my last conversation with Charles, where I promised to keep trying if he died. I mentally kick myself for agreeing to that. I turn my head from side to side, trying to find a comfortable way to sleep.

Yeah right.

I'm cold, I'm thirsty, I'm twenty feet in the air, and my only ally is dead. I'm not getting any rest tonight.

For ages I sit and do nothing. My whole body is numb from the cold. I burrow into my jacket, tucking my knees and hands inside. I hear noises in the distance. At first, I assume the sounds are from other representatives moving in the forest. Once the sounds grow louder, I realize that can't be it. Surely no one would be stupid enough to go around making that much noise. I stand up and climb to a higher branch. The cold, darkness, and soreness of my arms and sides make me even slower than I was earlier.

When I finally reach the branch I was aiming for, I look around, searching the arena for the source of the sounds. It's not hard for me to spot. I can see people with flashlights swarming all around the cornucopia that I started at. It takes my eyes a while to adjust to the moving lights. I can see that all of the bodies are gone, and the weapons and supplies that nobody took are being picked up. I notice that a group of people are doing something to the cornucopia itself. After a few minutes, they all step away. The cornucopia begins to lower into the ground. Once it's gone, a hatch slides closed and the workers begin covering it with dirt. I can easily spot the other four cornucopias around the arena now. The bright flashlights are small glimmers in the distance, but I can only assume that the same tasks are being performed at the other launch sites. I watch the people mill around for a while, but nothing interesting happens. I decide to crawl back down to a safer height. Climbing is awkward in the dark, and I can barely see each branch as I lower on to it. I settle on a branch about ten feet from the forest floor. I doubt anyone will spot me, and I don't really care if they do. I bundle up inside my jacket and close my eyes. I fall into a restless sleep, jerking awake every few minutes. I dream of Charles. I see his death a hundred different ways, all of them gruesome and painful. I often wake up with tears streaming down my face.

At dawn, I give up on my fitful slumber. I eat a few more raisins, though I don't feel hungry at all. I make sure I haven't forgotten anything, and I climb out of the tree. There is barely enough light for me to see where I step. I try to form some kind of plan, but I feel so lost. My entire plan was based on Charles. I never accepted the fact that we might not find each other. I am overwhelmed with hopelessness. I try to keep from crying again. I can't spare the water.

Of course, it doesn't work.

I clamber through the forest, trying to be quiet. My eyesight is hindered by darkness and tears. I trip over roots and shrubs. I sniffle so loud that I'm sure every person can hear me for a mile around. Soon I lean against a tree to try and put myself together. I can't keep going like this. I breathe in the cool morning air and close my eyes. I have to get it together. I made Charles a promise, and the only thing I can do for him now is to keep it. I have to keep trying.

I open my eyes and look around. I guess my first goal should be to find water. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to do that. I suppose I'll just pick a direction and start walking.

I choose to go left. As I walk, I notice a few plants weighed down with berries. I stop to examine them. After only seconds, I am certain that the plants are blueberry bushes. I pick some berries and look at them closely. It's the wrong season for blueberries. I'm not sure how the gamemakers forced them to grow in this environment. I bend down and look at the base of the bush. Unpacked dirt is piled all around it. I can only assume that the plant was recently put here. It must have been grown in a greenhouse and then transplanted. From the looks of the leaves, it won't live long in this climate. I gather as many berries as I can. I stuff the front pocket of the backpack with berries, and I put some in my jacket pockets too. I don't really feel like eating, but I pop a few into my mouth just for something to do. Once I'm sure the bush is picked clean, I stand up and nestle my backpack on my shoulders. I sigh. I really shouldn't walk around unarmed.

The thought of killing again makes my head swim. That doesn't change things, though. If I want to keep Kade safe, then I'll have to fight. I pull my mace from the backpack. The sight of it sickens me, but the metal in my hand makes me calmer. I stride off into the forest again.

I spend most of the day walking. After a few hours, my worries and fears are replaced by thirst. By noon, I can't think of anything but water. I chew on blueberries for the moisture, but it doesn't help much. I hear four gunshots while I walk, but they don't bother me much. I know that these are not for Charles, so why should I care? I stop for a rest at what I judge to be 2:00. I find a patch of dense shrubbery and hide myself in it the best I can. My stomach is starting to growl despite my near constant consumption of blueberries. I would like to eat some of the beef jerky in my pack, but the salt would only dehydrate me faster. I sit for a long time, debating what I should do. I've walked a long way, surely I'm close to a water source. I should just continue in the same direction until I reach a barrier telling me I can't go any further. But what if the only water source is in the opposite direction? I'll be too weak to walk if I don't drink something within the next 24 hours. I pull leaves off a nearby plant while I argue with myself.

Suddenly, something rustles nearby. I freeze. Listening intently, I can tell that the rustling continues in a steady pattern.

Footsteps.

I silently huddle deeper into my patch of shrubs. The footsteps come closer and closer. They belong to a man. A boy, really. He must be one of the youngest representatives. He is tall and skinny, with a small blue backpack on his shoulders. He doesn't hold a weapon, but I know that doesn't mean he's unarmed. He walks by my hiding place without a glance. I see the word "Lee" written on his back. I don't recognize the name. I know I could kill him now. I have the element of surprise. If the boy has a weapon, he would lose valuable time trying to dig it out of his backpack. I would win this fight.

I don't move, though. I hold my breath and stare as the boy walks out of sight. When he's a safe distance away, I relax. I get up, dust myself off, and start walking once again.

In another two hours, I am miserable. My muscles are so sore. I can't tell if it's from all of the strenuous activity or from the lack of water. I want to sit down and rest, but I know I can't spare the time. I need to find something to drink before nightfall. I can't traipse around in the dark looking for water. I hear six more gun shots before the sky starts to darken. I lean against a tree, wishing I could see the sunset. I hear frogs croaking nearby, and it reminds me of home. I lay my head back, and I close my eyes to listen. When I was little, my parents lived near a pond that was filled with frogs. I could hear them every night while I went to sleep. My mom told me they were singing me a lullaby.

My eyes snap open.

Frogs.

Pond.

Water.

I start to run.

As soon as I see the little pool, I fall to my knees and bring handfuls of water to my mouth. I remember the jug in my backpack, and I sit down to pull it out. I fill the jug and lounge against a nearby tree, drinking my fill. A gun fires twice more in quick succession, but I barely even acknowledge it. I take out a piece of beef jerky and gobble it down. I take a second piece and force myself to put the rest away. At sunset, Thaddeus's voice reads out the names of the representatives who have died today. I don't even bother to take out my list. I never searched for my marker, and I didn't listen to most of yesterday's announcement, so there's really no way for me to keep up with who's left.

I refill my water jug and climb into a nearby tree. My outlook is much better now that my thirst is satisfied. I close my eyes and quickly fall asleep. I dream of Charles in his dark green coffin, making his way home.