Chapter 21

Reaching for the door, Richard cursed under his breath to find it locked. Loath to waste time trying to find a key, he immediately lifted his leg, kicking the door in with his boot, taking it off of its hinges with the force of the violent blow.

With a sudden caution that had been missing just moments ago, he entered the room, fearful of what he would find. Things had not been what they had seemed already and now that he was that much closer to Kahlan, he feared that it would become even worse.

The room was dark save for the lightning that continuously flashed in a window and a candle that burned on the table at the bedside. His eyes fell upon a woman lying on her side in the bed, her back to him. He would recognize her form anywhere.

It was his Kahlan.

The Seeker felt his chest constrict at the site of her, the fury rolling through his body suddenly quieted by the intensity of his love for her. The sword once more slipped from his hand as he cautiously made his way around the bed. His heart leapt into his throat, the joy of finally finding her sweeping through him, his stomach dropping at the site of her.

Kahlan was lying on her side, staring at the wall across the room from her. Her eyes were rimmed in red, a cold desolation permeating them, the candle creating a soft glow about her that only seemed to add the despondency that filled the room. Her beautiful face was pale and tear-stained; a Rada'Han adorned her neck.

Her hands were bound with rope before her, causing his anger to instantly flare again. Her wrists were raw and bruised from the rope rubbing against them. He had to force himself to remember that this was all just an illusion, but it did nothing to settle the firestorm of emotions erupting within him.

Although it was all in her mind, the utter pain and anguish of it all made him want to lie down beside her and die at the site of her like this, the weight of her grief overwhelming him as he stood there watching her. Tears instantly pooled in his eyes as he swallowed back a sob, falling to his knees before her.

The rumbling sounds that had followed him abruptly returned with a vengeance, causing the walls to begin to crumble, but he ignored it all. His sole purpose for living was lying in this bed and he knew that he was the only one who could save her. Nothing else mattered to him but her and their girls.

With trembling fingers, he carefully reached out to her, lightly stroking along her dark hair. She didn't respond like she even knew that he was there. She didn't move, didn't flinch…didn't react at all to his touch like she always used to.

He had always loved her reaction to his touch, how her eyes would sometimes fall closed, her lips curling into a soft smile, or the soft moan that occasionally escaped her throat. It brought him such pleasure to know that she felt that way about him, that he could bring out such a reaction of longing that was for him alone.

Now, her reaction was completely lifeless, emotionless. She had lost all hope, the will to go on. But he was determined to give it back to her.

"Kahlan…" he began so softly that he could barely hear his own voice. Clearing his throat of the tears that filled it, he tried again. "Kahlan, my love…"

"Don't call me your love."

Her words struck him hard like a slap across his face as tears escaped his eyes. Her voice sounded so dead that it sent a shiver down his spine, completely taking him by surprise.

He knew that she had been in danger, suffering in some dreadful dream world, but this…this was so much worse than he had ever imagined, reaching in and tearing his heart right out of his chest. There was no anger in his beloved, no joy, not even a hint of the smile that he adored. There was only complete emptiness.

Spirits, this couldn't be happening, not to his Kahlan. She was the strongest person he had ever known, so full of love and life, an infectious happiness that spread to everyone around her.

He should have fought harder, should have done something sooner. It was his fault that his wife had been enduring such anguish for so long.

Zedd had tried to warn him, tried to tell him that things were not going to be as he thought once he entered her mind. Richard had truly believed that he was prepared for what he would find. He had been so very wrong, but that still would not have stopped him from fighting with all he had to bring her back.

"Kahlan, it's me…its Richard. I've come to get you out of here, to bring you home," he gently told her as he ran his fingers through her hair, his eyes never leaving hers despite the fact that all the light had gone out of her once vibrant blue orbs.

Unable to bear it any longer, he leaned in, pressing his cheek against hers, his eyes falling closed as his nose brushed against hers. Her skin felt cold beneath his touch, but he refused to let go of her. Now that he had finally found her, he was never going to let her go.

"Why? You've already taken away your love from me, our daughters, everything that I love has been taken from me. I have nothing left to live for," she murmured as if a fact, not an opinion.

To her, it was all so simple, not something that needed any further discussion. It was just the way it was now, what she had finally come to accept. She had lost her mind, her soul-mate, her daughters, her title, her everything. Nothing was left. Why go on?

Every breath she drew was just an aching reminder that she was still alive.

"What you are seeing is not real, Kahlan. I am real," he desperately told her, pulling back as he began to undo the ropes around her wrists.

"Everyone thinks I've gone mad. I've lost our daughters…lost you to Nicci. Please…just end my life…" she gasped as a tear trickled free from her eye and slid down along her nose.

All of the sudden, the window on the other side of the bed shattered with a deafening crack as glass exploded into the room. Jagged shards flew everywhere, allowing the swirling tempest outside access into the room.

Richard immediately threw himself over Kahlan in an attempt to protect her from the pieces of glass that were suddenly sent flying through the room. He pulled back after a moment, his panic rising. He had to get her out of here before she brought the entire Palace down upon them.

"Kahlan, you must listen to me. This is not real…none of this is real. You've been trapped inside of your mind since I brought you back from the past. I'm bringing you home with me, back home to our daughters," he urgently yelled at her above the din of the storm surrounding them as he released her from the ropes.

"Paige and Piper? You told me I was unfit to be a mother, that I was a danger to my own babies."

"Piper? No, Kahlan. We have two daughters, Paige and Priya," he corrected her as he studied her face, puzzled by her response.

"Priya…" Kahlan repeated the name, the corners of her mouth turning up ever so slightly with the sound of her daughter's name.

"Yes, Priya. Remember the night that we finally decided on our daughters' names? We made love and then we talked for hours about names. I kept teasing you with unusual names that I knew that you would never agree to just because I love the sound of your laughter so much," he reminded her, his heart fluttering with the joy that momentarily flitted through her eyes with the memory. But then it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared.

Kahlan could barely grasp what he was saying to her. She wanted to believe this man who looked like her husband, who sounded and smelled like him, who told him the things that she so desperately wanted to hear. The sight of his warm brown eyes filled with tears began to prick her heart despite the deadness that continued to grip her soul.

Was he just telling her what she wanted to hear to try and trick her? Was he trying to finally push her over the edge that she was hanging by her fingertips to, suddenly turning into Nicci again just to taunt her?

She so badly wanted to just let go, to fall…fall knowing no one would be there to catch her. In the past, her Richard would have always caught her, back when he loved her. She knew that with her whole being, but now she was so lost, so confused.

"You told me that I unstable…not allowed in your bed…you…you…" she began to suddenly sob with the haunting memory of those words. Tears that she thought she no longer had began slipping down her face.

Richard felt his rage growing even hotter, his heart hammering harder with the things that she told him. Seizing hold of her arms, he forcefully pulled her to sit up, making her look him in the eye. He knew he was gripping her tighter than he should, but he was so frantic to make her understand, to make her see how deeply he loved her.

"Kahlan Rahl, listen to me! I am your husband!" he heatedly yelled, his tone angrier that he wanted, but his own hurt and anger was driving him now. "You are my wife…forever and I would never, do you hear me, never banish you from my bed. I love you and you alone and nothing you say or do will ever change that."

Kahlan stared at him as tears continued to roll down her face, not knowing what to believe any more. She wanted so desperately to believe him, but she was terrified to trust him only to have her heart ripped out all over again.

So many things had been said to her, so many things had changed. She didn't know which end was up, which way was right. All she knew now was unending pain that ate at her every waking moment.

"Nicci…" she murmured. "Nicci said…said that you…and her…"

Richard watched in agony as her lips trembled with her words, her hair whipping wildly around her from the gusts of wind, the profound pain in her eyes like a dagger to his heart. He immediately grabbed hold of her head, kissing her forehead before releasing her.

"I need you to trust me, Kahlan. Nothing happened with Nicci, nothing will ever happen between me and Nicci. Trust me…trust this," he solemnly told her, grabbing hold of her hand and placing it flat against his chest over his heart, his hand covering hers as the ceiling began to flake and crumble above them. "This…this beats for you, Kahlan…only you…forever."

The sincerity of his voice, the truth of his words, the love that he held in his heart for her that mirrored in his eyes suddenly began to break through the storm of despair that had held her captive for so many days now.

"I just love you…so much, Richard…" she cried.

"Forever, my precious Kahlan…forever…" he passionately said, grabbing hold of her face again, pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss.

Kahlan fought against his kiss at first until the word 'forever' finally sunk into her mind. And then she knew…she suddenly knew. This…this was Richard, her Richard. He had come for her, only her.

Feeling her beginning to respond to him, Richard immediately deepened the kiss, frantic to make her believe him, for her to know that he had truly come for her and that he loved no other but her.

Pulling back for air, Kahlan smiled at him, a ghost of that special smile that lit his whole world, but it was still his smile and he knew.

He had saved his Kahlan.

Hovering worriedly over them, Zedd and Cara waited anxiously for any sign that Richard was reaching Kahlan. Richard had been asleep for over three hours now and they were growing more frantic with every passing moment without any sign that he was getting through to her.

Staring at her friends, Cara suddenly pointed excitedly at them. "Look!" she cried to Zedd with relief.

Zedd watched with stunned disbelief as Kahlan's fingers suddenly moved, her hand finding and taking hold of Richard's in their sleep. They intertwined their fingers, clutching each other tightly, their eyes beginning to flutter open.

Cara and Zedd shared a look in that moment that told them that everything was going to be alright now. They were going to have the rest of their family back with them, Paige and Priya would have their parents.

Opening his eyes, Richard swiftly sat up, turning to gather Kahlan into his arms in a protective embrace. The sheer joy and relief that overwhelmed his heart wouldn't allow him to hold her any less fiercely.

She immediately threw her arms around his neck, clutching him so tightly that she feared he wouldn't be able to breathe, but she didn't care.

Burying her face in his shoulder, Kahlan sobbed, trying to grasp what exactly had happened to her. Her fingers clawed at Richard's back as confusion clawed at her mind. Gripping his shirt tightly in her fists, she surrendered fully to the hurts and fears that had held her captive for so long.

Richard pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair as tears slipped from his eyes. Relief washed over him as he held his wife, so overcome with emotions to have her back in his arms, safe and full of life again.

It had been the longest week of his life, not knowing what had been happening to her, having to helplessly sit by and know that she was suffering. Then, what he had found living in her subconscious had been devastating to him, crushing his spirit even further.

Richard didn't know how he was going to be able to get past the fact that Kahlan thought that he would do something like that to her, that he would betray their love like that. The ache in his heart thumped painfully in his chest, a constant reminder of what he had seen inside of her mind.

Richard never heard Zedd and Cara leave or the door to their bedchambers quietly shut behind them. Too consumed with his beloved in his arms, nothing else mattered at that moment.

"I'm sorry, Richard…please forgive me…" she sobbed, the despair in her voice tearing at his soul. "I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh, Kahlan, you have nothing to be sorry for," he gently told her, rubbing her back as crawled up into his lap, her knees falling on either side of his thighs.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you," she cried, gasping for each breath she drew. "It…it was all so real…I thought you…that Nicci…she told me that you and her…I thought it was real…"

Before he could respond, her lips crashed into his, kissing him with an urgency and despair that he'd never felt in her before. She gripped his hair tightly with her fingers, almost painfully so, but he didn't care. This was his Kahlan, his life and she was alive, responding to him again in a way that she hadn't when he had first found her.

Rising up on her knees, she hovered above him, her lips never leaving his as his head fell back, his mouth dropping open to allow her entrance. She was in full control and he relished it because his Kahlan was his Kahlan once more, full of life, full of love for him and it made his heart swell.

His hands roamed over her curves before firmly gripping her hips. The feel of her tongue in his mouth was demanding and forceful and so very erotic. Her satin nightdress brushed against his chest, the teasing sensation of her breasts beneath the material making his heart pound faster. He found his head was spinning with a need so intense and just as equally desperate as her kisses, but he feared it was too soon.

Pulling back, Richard reached up and cupped her face with his hands as he attempted to quell his desire for her that was pumping wildly through his body. The sight of her brilliant blue eyes so alive and full of life again caused his heart to skip a beat, making it even more difficult to catch the breath that she had just taken away.

And if truth be told, he never wanted it back if it meant giving her up.

Staring at her face that was still filled with such despair, Kahlan was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen. Her dark hair tumbled down around her shoulders, her cheeks stained with tears. Her chest was heaving with passion, exposing the tops of her breasts with each exerted breath she took and he could still barely grasp that she had chosen to belong to him and no other.

"Richard?" she murmured between pants, her eyes filled with hurt and confusion by his sudden response.

He quickly reached up, brushing her hair out of her face, wanting to dispel the fear and panic that was swiftly filling her eyes. He never wanted to see those emotions in those beautiful blue eyes ever again.

"Kahlan, I love you more than my own life. You have to believe me that I would never be unfaithful to you," he heatedly told her, attempting to keep his anger and hurt out of his voice, but it was difficult.

She immediately averted her eyes, looking away, looking anywhere but at his penetrating brown eyes that saw directly into her soul. She knew that she had hurt him deeply with what he had seen, but she had to make him believe that it was not him that she didn't trust.

"Richard, it was never you that I didn't trust," she softly replied as she stared out the window, drawing shuddering breaths in an attempt to calm her hammering heart. "It was Nicci. She's the most powerful sorceress who has ever lived. I was so terrified when she sent me into the past that she would use her magic on you, forcing you to fall in love her instead of me."

The heartache that had been consuming him suddenly began to dissipate with her words as tender understanding swiftly filled the void. Bringing her head back down to look at him, Richard smiled softly at her.

"Kahlan, there is no magic more powerful than our love. Nicci's magic could never have touched what lives and breathes in my heart for you," he told her, leaning in and softly kissing her. "You are far too precious to me to throw it all away for something so meaningless as one night of empty pleasure with a woman who means nothing to me.

"Nicci could never come close to comparing to you. She may be beautiful, but you, Kahlan, you take my breath away," he smiled softly at her as he studied her face. "You radiate such love and beauty that I find myself falling deeper in love with you every day."

"I love you so much, Richard. The thought of having to go on without you, it…it nearly killed me."

"I know; I saw it in your mind, I felt it, lived it with you for a short time," he replied, swallowing back the emotion that suddenly filled his throat with the memory, of knowing how close he had truly come to losing her. "I know because I feel the same about you. When I thought I had lost you, Kahlan, I wanted to lie down and die. The only thing that kept me going was the hope of saving you and our daughters."

"I love you, my Richard," she replied, smiling the smile that lit his whole world.

"Forever, my Kahlan," he said, bringing back down for another kiss…