Finally have some free time now, and found the motivation to finish this chapter, so here it is! Inspired by a scene from 'Women's Appreciation' in season 3. BTW, we've crossed into 2002 now. Enjoy.
"Alright, people, listen up!", Dwight exclaimed, standing in front of Pam's desk with his hands on his hips. "Since Michael is in New York today meeting the new Vice President, as Assistant Regional Manager-"
"To the," Jim interjected, to Dwight's chagrin.
"... of this branch, I will be in charge of the office in his absence," he finished, prompting a few groans around the office. Meanwhile, Jim sifted through his memories, trying to remember if this scenario had appeared in his nightmares.
"I expect all of you to work to your usual standards under my supervision today, if not exceed them," Dwight announced. "Anybody who disobeys any of my instructions throughout the day will receive a demerit." Jim put his hand up.
"Yes, Jim?", Dwight said.
"Hey, um, what is a demerit?", Jim asked.
"Let me put it this way, you do not want to receive three of those," Dwight replied. Three of those, and you'll receive a citation. Five citations, and you're looking at a violation. Four of those, and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those, that'll land you in a world of hurt, in the form of a disciplinary review, written up by me, and placed on Michael's desk."
Jim spun his chair around to face Pam, shooting a look of astonishment at her.
"If anybody needs me, I will be in Michael's office," Dwight announced, "but please knock before entering." Dwight picked up his bag from his desk and opening the door to Michael's office, walking in and placing his bag on the desk with a smirk on his face. While being in charge of the office today would only inflate Dwight's ego even further, Jim was fine with it, because it also meant that he would be away from his desk, and thus away from Jim, for a whole day.
And it gave him a chance to have some fun.
A few minutes later, Jim got up and walked over to Pam's desk, a walk that he couldn't make anymore without pondering the fact that Roy was going to propose to Pam on March 25, 2002, in two months and twenty-three days. Nonetheless, he was doing his best to hide it.
"I have an idea," Jim whispered.
"What?", Pam asked.
"Do you think it's humanly possible to receive a disciplinary review from Dwight?"
"No, I don't think it's humanly possible to receive three demerits, five citations, four violations, a verbal warning, and two written warnings all in one day," Pam responded.
"Wow, her memory is good."
"But I'd like to see you try," she added with a smile on her face.
"You're on, Beesly," Jim said with a smirk.
"One rule, though," Pam added, "you can't do the same thing to get punished more than once."
"Got it," Jim replied. "Hey, what did you do for New Year's?"
"Not a lot," Pam replied. "I just watched the ball drop in Times Square on TV with Roy. What about you?"
"Just hung out with some friends," Jim said. "You made any New Year's Resolutions?"
"Here's a New Year's Resolution for you," Dwight, suddenly stood behind them, interrupted. "Stop wasting company time talking to each other, and do your jobs, or you can both expect a demerit."
"I've already made mine, can't change it now," Jim responded wittily, to Dwight's chagrin.
"Just go back to your desk, Jim," Dwight said. Jim thought about it, before shaking his head and continuing his conversation with Pam. Dwight scowled, before storming into Michael's office. A minute later, he emerged with a small piece of paper which he had written on, and handed it to Jim.
"That is a demerit for disobeying my instructions," Dwight said. "Now go back to your desk." Jim read the demerit, before scrunching it up into a ball and throwing it into the bin by Pam's desk, further angering Dwight, who walked back into Michael's office again.
"Good start," Pam said congratulatorily. Jim smirked, before walking back to his desk. Moments later, Dwight came out and put another demerit on Jim's desk, for "disrespecting a superior", before walking away. A few minutes later, Jim walked into Michael's office, where Dwight was situated.
"Did you not hear what I said about knocking before entering?", Dwight asked.
"Oh yeah, I did, I just chose to ignore it," Jim responded. Dwight shook his head, before grabbing a piece of paper, writing on it, and handing it to Jim. It was a third demerit, for failing to knock before entering.
"That's three demerits, Jim," Dwight confirmed. "You know what that means. A citation."
"Well that sucks," Jim said. "Oh, by the way, I went ahead and carved my name into your desk, took one of your pens and lost it, and broke one of your pencils. I guess that's vandalism, stealing and destroying company property."
"You know what else that is, Jim? Three more citations," Dwight said angrily, quickly writing up three citations on pieces of paper and handing them to a satisfied Jim. "Don't make me give you another."
"I won't," Jim replied. "Oh, by the way, your hair looks stupid today."
That got Jim another citation, his fourth, resulting in a violation. After falling asleep at his desk, taking his tie off and untucking his shirt to make himself look untidy, and mocking Dwight by giving him a citation of his own for his "false sense of superiority", Jim was moving up again.
"That's four violations, Jim, and you know what that means," Dwight said, standing at Jim's desk.
"Verbal warning," Jim replied. "Damn."
"That's right," Dwight confirmed, nodding his head. "So here it is. Jim… I'm warning you. Be careful. Next time, it'll be in writing."
"Got it," Jim said. Dwight went back into Michael's office, and Jim spun around in his chair to look at Pam, who was shaking her head, albeit with a grin on her face.
Roughly twenty-five minutes later, Dwight emerged again. "Hey, Dwight," Jim said, getting his attention.
"What?", Dwight asked.
"You want any of this?", Jim enquired, holding up a bottle of water.
"No," Dwight said, "I have my own water, thank you."
"Oh, this isn't water," Jim said. "This is vodka, and it is awesome." Jim opened the bottle - which contained absolutely no vodka whatsoever - and took an extended sip from it, as Dwight's eyes lit up in shock.
"Give me that!", Dwight snapped, lunging forward and snatching the bottle out of Jim's hands. "I will have NO drinking on the job in this office!"
Meredith overheard this from the other side of the office, and promptly took her flask off her desk, placing it inside one of her drawers.
"I'll be back with a written warning," Dwight snarled, before marching back into Michael's office, and coming back a few minutes later with a written warning for Jim. One more written warning, and victory would be his.
Soon after, the phone rang at Dwight's desk. Jim answered it.
"Dunder Mifflin, Dwight Schrute?", Jim asked. "Ah yes, Mr. Owens! How can I help?... oh, well I'm sorry to hear that, but rest assured your paper will be with you as soon as possible, and as a reward for your patience I'll even throw some of my very own Schrute Farm beets in there!... what do you mean, you don't want them? They're the best beets in Scranton! Well then you're not getting your pap-"
Jim was stopped by Dwight, who seized the phone from him and held it to his ear. "Your paper was dispatched this morning, Mr. Owens, it will be with you later today," Dwight said quickly, before slamming the phone down.
"Just trying to help," Jim said, shrugging his shoulders.
"I warned you, Jim," Dwight snarled, "I warned you, yet you continued to disobey me. Now, when Michael gets back from New York, he will find a disciplinary review of Jim Halpert, written by me, waiting for him on his desk."
Dwight stormed back into Michael's office for what seemed like the millionth time today. Once he was gone, Jim got up and walked over to Pam's desk.
"Well done," Pam said, applauding, as Jim took a bow.
"Nothing's impossible, Pam," Jim said.
"Hopefully that includes me and Pam being together."
"Alright, your turn."
"No thank you," Pam said, laughing. "I'm afraid that he'll explode if we push him any further. And I'd probably be the one having to clean it up."
"Whatever you say, Beesly," Jim said with a grin, before walking back to his desk. He went about doing his work until just after four o'clock, when Michael returned to the office.
"Hey, hey, hey!", Michael exclaimed in his best Fat Albert voice, announcing his arrival.
"Michael!", Dwight cried, running out to greet him.
"Did I say you could use my office?", Michael asked.
"I thought it would be a good idea, y'know, to remind everyone that I was their boss for the day," Dwight protested.
"Well you should have asked me first, so I could say no," Michael said.
"Sorry, Michael," Dwight apologised. "Welcome back. On your desk you will find a disciplinary review of Jim Halpert, written by me, for his persistent insubordinate behaviour today. You may punish him as you see fit."
"Well he's fine when I'm here, so I don't care," Michael said, angering Dwight, who stormed into Michael's office, hastily collected his belongings, and returned to his desk next to Jim.
"How did it go in New York, Michael?", Pam asked.
"Good, good," Michael replied, lighting up. "Jan Levinson-Gould is her name. Very nice girl, she'll make a great Vice President. Now I know what you're thinking, Pam, but she's married, so no potential romance there."
"I wasn't thinking that," Pam responded.
"Well, the point still stands," Michael said, as he walked to his office. "Once they're married, fuhgeddaboudit."
After distracting himself all day, Jim was reminded of his predicament.