Notes & Disclaimers: Anything you recognize as familiar belongs to Janet Evanovich. I am just borrowing her characters for fun and am not making anything from the story.

As you are aware by now, please use your own discretion at reading because this story is not Morelli friendly. We're past most of the angst and bad parts, but if you've stuck with me to chapter 20, I figure you're in for the long haul! Remember that this is fiction, so I have taken some creative liberties. Thanks to all of you that have reviewed and let me know that you're enjoying the story.

Previously:

Carlos seemed in thought for a split second, then agreed. "True enough. But just for the record, Babe, you are perfect. In every way, to me, you are perfect."

"Thank you Carlos. I love you."

"Te amo Babe. Let's get going."

We made our way down to the garage, and he helped me into the Porsche. I leaned back into the supple leather as Carlos rounded the back of the car and slid in. I was finally feeling more and more like my old self. If I had my way, tonight would be the start of many good things to come.

… … … … …

Our ride to Marsilio's was quiet and relaxed. Soft music played through the radio and Carlos held my hand on his thigh as he drove. He softly caressed my skin as we made small talk. I could feel the electricity between us. It was almost palpable. I was trying really hard not to concentrate on what was to come later. Or rather, what I hoped was to come later. I was afraid that if I thought about it too much, I'd end up even more anxious and panicky. I don't know why I was nervous about it. Carlos and I had been together lots of times. But tonight would be…different. It would be the first time since…well, since the attack. And I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted it to be a new start for us.

I chanced a glance over at Carlos and he met my eyes with a soft expression and a slight smile. He exuded confidence and calm. Why couldn't I be that way? He never seems nervous or out of control. How does he do it?

"Deep thoughts Babe?" Carlos asked, while taking my hand to his lips for a soft kiss.

"Not really. Just thinking about how you're always so calm and confident. You never seem to get anxious or nervous over anything. I wish I could be more like that."

"Steph, I get anxious over a lot of things, especially where you're concerned. But I've had a lot of practice at hiding my emotions. I tend not to do that so much anymore around you. You're one of the few people I've let inside to see the real me. And besides, if you were more like me, you wouldn't be you. And I love you just the way you are. I don't want you to change a thing."

"Yeah, right. My face is like an open book. Most everyone can read my expressions as the thoughts run through my mind. Sometimes it's a little embarrassing."

"I think it's cute."

"Yeah, well. You wouldn't like it too much if it were you and you weren't able to automatically use the patented Manoso blank face. You're always in control."

"Not really. Not when I'm around you. You make me lose control, Steph. I think that's one reason why I resisted a relationship with you for so long. But eventually, I couldn't stay away. I can't imagine my life without you in it. And as far as being nervous, tonight I feel about as nervous as I did on our first date. If not more."

I snapped my head in his direction and gave him my 'that's unbelievable' look. "What do you mean you were nervous on our first date? You didn't seem nervous at the time. I don't remember that."

"I told you. I hid it well. But inside, I was a wreck. We'd had dinner several times, out at Pinos, in my apartment, in your apartment. We were slowly growing closer. But the night I asked you to come to Marisilos with me, alone, was what I consider the start of our official dating relationship. Do you remember that night Steph?"

"Of course I do. I wore a black dress and you brought me a lily when you picked me up. I still have it, pressed in a book in some tissue paper."

"They're your favorite."

"Umm hmm. And you knew that, even though I'd never told you."

"I make it a point to know things about the woman I love."

"You loved me then?"

"Of course. I'd told you before."

"You always qualified it when you said it."

"I was scared. I was afraid of opening up. Of being vulnerable."

"Hmm. Interesting. Were you really nervous for our first date? I thought I was the only one."

"Babe, I changed clothes three times before I picked you up that night. I made Lester wash the Porsche- twice. I brought you one lily because the other eleven I had bought didn't look nice enough for you. They were either too small or too big. The bloom was open too much or not enough. I had to pick the one that was just right. So I figured bringing you one lily would be romantic. And not too pushy."

I laughed out loud. "Oh my God! I can't believe this! The mighty Batman was really nervous! Who would have guessed? I don't feel so bad about changing shoes three times now, and changing outfits twice that night."

"You looked beautiful. But you look even more so tonight, Babe. I'm glad that you suggested we go out tonight."

"Me too Carlos. I wanted some time alone for us to talk about my appointment today. And to relax."

Carlos pulled the Porsche into the parking lot and was immediately at my door, holding my hand as I stood from the car. He placed a hand around my waist as we walked into the restaurant together.

We were seated at the table we had sat at on our first official date together. It was in an intimate corner of the restaurant where the lighting was low and strategically placed green plants formed a nice barrier from the remainder of the dining area. Carlos pulled out my chair for me and then seated himself as I began to look over the menu.

Our waiter came by and took our drink and food order, and then Carlos turned to me and smiled. It never failed to take my breath away to see him smile. When I first met him, it was a rarity, but the closer we became, the more frequently I saw him smile. I liked to think that maybe I had something to do with it. Lord knows he's responsible for the one that's usually plastered on my face.

"So Babe, wanna talk about today's appointment with Rebecca? Or would you rather dance?"

"How about we talk and then dance?"

"Sounds like a plan. I know you said things went well. And that she gave you some suggestions?"

"Yes. But first I wanted to tell you why I went alone today, without you."

Carlos interrupted. "Steph, you don't have to explain why you…"

I took his hand in mine and leaned in to him. "Yes. I do. I want to. Carlos, you going with me to my appointments has meant the world to me. I honestly don't think I could have done it without you. But today I was kind of embarrassed to talk to Rebecca about my fears concerning us being intimate. I didn't want you to know how scared I was. And I guess it sounds kinda silly to you but…"

Carlos interrupted again. "Steph, it's not silly at all. These are valid feelings that you have that are perfectly understandable. Especially considering what happened. But Steph, really there's no hurry. We don't have to do anything you're not ready for. I'm not going anywhere."

I could feel my skin blushing as we talked about our intimacy. I wasn't used to talking about things like this, but I knew if I didn't do it now, I'd chicken out. "That's the problem. I am ready for more. I've never been comfortable talking about things like this, even before the attack. But I miss that part of our relationship. I talked to Rebecca about how I was scared that I wouldn't have the same feelings. Don't misunderstand me. My feelings for you are as strong as ever…if not even stronger. I feel like what we've been through has somehow bonded us together and made us stronger as a couple. I'm talking about my ability to feel sexy. My ability to be sexy. I was scared that I was broken in some way, and that I'd ruin things between us. Making love with you is a wonderful experience. And I miss that. I was so afraid that I wouldn't be able to live up to what we once had. I also talked to her about my fear that I would panic in the middle of things and not know what to do. But Rebecca told me that all of those feelings were normal. And that I should talk to you about them."

"I'm glad she suggested that. Steph, you can always talk to me. About anything at all."

"She reminded me that 'anything that goes good or bad in a relationship usually centers around communication'. Whether it be good or bad. And I don't want anything going wrong with us, or hindering our relationship in any way. So as hard as it was to talk about, I'm kinda glad I did. I'm glad it's out in the open. I don't want any secrets between us."

"I agree, Babe, and I really do understand your concerns. I can't wait to make love to you again. But only when you're ready. You said something about suggestions. What examples did Rebecca give you?"

"Well, simple things like leaving a light on, going slow, keeping my eyes open and focused on you. That kind of thing."

"Sounds easy enough. But for now, how about we just take tonight as it comes, and enjoy ourselves with no expectations. It'll be kind of like our first date again."

"I like that idea."

"Come on, Babe. Let's dance."

Carlos led me out onto the dance floor and as we started to dance to a slow jazz number, I placed my arms around his neck. He held me close as we swayed to the music, and I couldn't remember ever feeling as loved as I did tonight. I closed my eyes as I relaxed and Carlos began to whisper to me in Spanish, and even though I couldn't understand much of it, it made me feel treasured and supported. The words soothed my soul and warmed me like a blanket on a chilly night. I forgot all of my anxiety and fears, and just let the music, his words, and the moment surround me, surround us, until I could no longer remember why I was even nervous about tonight in the first place.

When the music ended, Carlos continued to hold me for a moment before tilting my head up so that my eyes met his. "Stephanie, you are my light, my heart, and my love. I love you."

Tears filled my eyes as I looked into his eyes. Gone were the fears that I had felt earlier, along with all of my insecurities and doubts. I'd never felt more loved or cherished. All of my anxieties were replaced with a love that I could see clearly mirrored in Carlos' expression. "I love you too Carlos. You are my world."

We made our way back over to the table. The food was excellent, and after we'd eaten, and I'd had dessert, Carlos paid our server and we headed home.

The ride to Haywood was made in comfortable silence, and before I knew it we were pulling back into the garage at Haywood. Carlos turned off the engine and came around to my side of the car and opened my door. As I stepped out, he pulled me into a hug and soft kiss, before leading me towards the elevators that would take us up to seven.

As we stepped through the doors, I turned to Carlos and asked to see his keys. Carlos handed them to me, but only after hesitating slightly and raising one eyebrow. "Babe, I can get the door upstairs."

I leaned into him as I pressed the button on his key fob to scramble the cameras. "I'm not worried about the door upstairs," I stated, as I gently nipped his bottom lip. His slight intake of breath told me that I'd surprised him, so I ran my tongue over his bottom lip to soothe the skin. Carlos pulled me even closer to him and continued to kiss me, making a growling noise when I raised both of my hands to his collar to loosen his tie and unbutton the top button of his shirt.

We continued to kiss each other, lost in the emotions we were feeling until the bell dinged and the doors opened. I was surprised when Carlos broke apart from the kiss and was breathing just as heavily as I was. He scooped me up bridal style and carried me to the entrance of the apartment where I unlocked the door with the keys in my hand. Carlos pushed the door open with his foot, and after stepping into the foyer, gently pushed it closed with his foot. I reached a hand out to lock the door, while Carlos' lips found mine and we continued where we had left off.

We were both lost in the emotion of what we were feeling but Carlos was able to speak before me. He pulled away from me slightly and rested his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed and I could tell he was working to regain his control. "Babe, if I'm reading you correctly, you're telling me that you're ready and wanting this as much as I do. But if that's not the case, and I'm totally misunderstanding, please tell me now. I won't be upset, but I need to know."

I silenced him by placing a kiss on his lips. "Carlos, I'm ready. Please take me to bed. Make love to me." Those words were all that was needed to spur Carlos into action. He carried me into the bedroom and gently stood me up beside our bed. His hand went to my cheek, as he looked into my eyes, as if he were searching for an answer. I met his gaze back, hoping that my expression showed just how much I loved him and was ready for tonight. He continued to look into my eyes until he seemed to find the answer he was looking for.

"Stephanie, if you need to stop, just tell me, okay? Don't be afraid to tell me what you're feeling…what you need. We've got all the time in the world."

I nodded to him, understanding that he wanted to make me comfortable. "Carlos, I'm not nervous anymore. I'm ready. I love you. Always have, always will."

I ran my hands under his jacket and pushed it off of his broad shoulders. It fell to the floor and I began to unbutton the rest of the buttons on his shirt. I pulled the tail of his shirt out of the confines of his pants as he slid a warm hand underneath the thin straps of my dress. Carlos bent to kiss me, and I moaned as his tongue dueled with mine. Our passion was like a dance, starting slow but building with intensity as each item of clothing was removed. Finally, after I'd removed all of his clothes, Carlos slid the zipper of my dress down, making the dress fall to my feet in a puddle. I stood in front of him in the dark blue lace bra and thong set that I had purchased earlier. Carlos' deep intake of breath told me he liked what he saw.

I took a shaky breath and tried to speak. "Was this the kind of lace you had in mind earlier?"

"It's exactly what I had in mind, Babe. More than I could have imagined. God, you're beautiful."

I unbuttoned the clasp on my bra and tossed it to the growing heap of clothes in the floor. "I think it'll look better on the floor, Carlos. What do you think?" He looked at me and smiled a playful smile, before quickly picking me up again and tossing me on the bed. He gently pulled the thong down my legs and tossed it over his shoulder before coming to lie down beside me. We continued kissing, touching, nipping, and petting until we were both breathless.

Carlos gentle fingers ran up my thigh and dipped into folds, finding them slick and ready. "Dios, Babe! You're so wet. I can't wait to taste you." His words fueled my desire even more as a finger circled my clit. When he finally landed on the sensitive nub, my hips shot up and I moaned in appreciation. "More, Carlos. Please…more." His hands knew my body better than even I did, and he quickly plunged one, then two of his fingers deep within me. I moaned in ecstasy as I felt a fresh flood of warmth between my legs. I'd never felt so full of need and desire. Carlos continued to gently pump his fingers into me while still circling my hidden nub, and when I felt the slow burn that signaled my orgasm, he immediately sensed it and bent his fingers in a 'come here' motion, rubbing against my g-spot. His ability to always sense exactly what I needed never ceased to amaze me. The waves of pleasure poured over me, surprising me with their intensity.

As I came down from my pleasure high, Carlos began kissing his way down my body. He started with my lips, and slowly and methodically moved to my ears, my neck, and down to my breasts. He suckled and nipped them, causing me to gasp in pleasure. I ran my hands over his taught muscles as he continued to work his way to my center. When he reached his desired destination, his tongue explored and licked until I was a bundle of electricity, and before I knew it I was moaning his name, begging and pleading for more.

"Please Carlos, I need you. Please…more. God I want you!"

Carlos rose from his place between my legs and covered my body with his. As he did, he reached and turned on the bedside lamp, casting a soft glow on our bodies. "Stephanie, you are so beautiful. I love you, mi amor."

He caressed my body as he hovered over me, resting his weight on his forearms. He pulled one of my legs over his, and gently slid inside me, inhaling deeply as he slid home. This sheer act of intimacy reaffirmed our love for each other. Finally I felt whole again, no longer unsure of myself or my ability as a woman. Our lips found each other and in between kisses he spoke to me, telling me how much he loved me and adored my body. He talked of how lucky he was that I was in his life. I'd never felt so loved and our lovemaking had never felt so intense. I closed my eyes, lost in the moment and the feeling of him filling me and possessing me. Carlos ran his hand into my hair, gently turning my face to him while speaking softly. His voice was almost a whisper, his words almost reverent. "Stephanie, my love, open your eyes. Look and me and see what you do to me, what no one else can do."

Our bodies moved in a slow, languid dance together, reacquainting and falling in love over and over again. When we both came together, it was not in wild passion, but was a deep, soulful moment that was unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I felt him spill his seed into me as I convulsed around him, milking him, taking from him until I was overflowing with emotion.

Carlos held me afterwards and pulled me to him, placing my head on his chest. He kissed my forehead while gently caressing my back. "Babe, are you okay?"

"Mmmmm. I'm more than okay. That was…wonderful. There aren't words to describe it. They've not been invented yet."

Carlos chuckled. "I agree Babe. Tonight was perfect in every way, just like you. Sleep now, mi amor. You need your rest."

I snuggled in closer to Carlos and felt peace wash over me. I felt like I'd just taken one more giant step in reclaiming my former life. Once again I was reminded how lucky I was to have Carlos by my side. Sleep came quickly, with Carlos holding me tight. And thankfully it was peaceful and full of wonderful dreams.

TBC