Chapter 21: Impulse

Morgan watched the truck driving off for just another second, but then it registered what Reid said. "What?" he repeated as he turned his head to look over his shoulder at Reid. He had to drop his line of sight because Reid was picking up the vial at their feet from the gravel where it had landed.

He turned to face Reid who then pushed his hand against Morgan's chest. "Take it." The vial exchanged hands as quickly as Morgan could react and then Reid pulled away to get back into the vehicle. It took a moment as Morgan processed that Reid didn't try to keep it, but then he shoved the vial of Dilaudid into his pocket and got back into the vehicle.

Reid pulled down on the seat belt with a fast jerk and it caught, locking the mechanism. He tried again and it loosened, allowing him to get buckled. Morgan followed suit; quick to get buckled, fired the engine up and floored the gas pedal. Reid had to grab onto the center console and the trim panel at his right. This was the first time he noticed that Morgan and Rossi didn't get a hybrid car like he, Hotch and the girls had. Loose gravel kicked up onto the vehicles undercarriage and Reid looked in his side view mirror to see a cloud of dust trailing behind them. He glanced at Morgan and turned his head away as soon as Morgan looked at him. So much was still in the air, but the thick of it got left on the roadside the moment they needed to switch gears from personal to professional. Morgan situated himself in the seat to get more comfortable and then stole another glance of Reid before turning the first corner they reached. Reid swallowed back the lump in his throat.

"Are you sure?" Morgan's insistence on the gas pedal had the engine roaring and the RPM gauge racing to reach 5000 RPM in his attempt to catch up. The unsub had to be at least a mile ahead of them by now. He had been haulin' ass to begin with.

The yellow lines on the road had been hypnotizing Reid as he stared ahead... and he was letting it happen… with absolutely no resistance. Anything was better than thinking the alternative thoughts. It took a little bit to snap himself out of it to answer Morgan. "Uhhh… I'm positive." Reid moved quickly to search through the files on the floor at his feet and found the one with the boyfriend's picture in it. He held it up to Morgan who took only two quick and careful glances.

"You gotta call Hotch." Morgan's eyes looked back to the road. He had the appearance of a head strong hero, ready to save the day.

Reid immediately went for his phone, but couldn't finagle his hand down his pocket. The phone was too deep and Morgan's driving had the seat belt locked thanks to his braking at the last corner. It was holding Reid down and he couldn't get it to unlock. "Dammit," he whined as he tugged on the belt with no result. He tried to raise his body, he tried to turn onto his side and finally grunted in frustration and just unhooked the belt buckle.

"What are you doin'?"

"I can't get to my phone."

"Come on, man…" he quietly moaned, more to himself than to Reid. Morgan didn't want to worry about Reid right now. He wanted to be mad at Reid, as selfish as that was. He swallowed and closed his eyes tightly for just a second. When he opened them again, he caught a glimpse of the truck ahead. "I see youuuu…" he breathed.

Reid speed dialed Hotch and held his finger to his other ear. "Hotch! Hotch, we're in pursuit of the unsub. He's driving a late 70's model Ford truck… blue, no tags…" There was a long pause. "Hotch?" Morgan glanced at Reid and saw Reid staring at the screen of his phone. "Hotch?" Reid held the phone to his ear again as he looked out the windows at their surroundings... It was just a high embankment and some trees. "Shit!"

From the corner of his eye, Morgan looked Reid up and down. Reid rarely swears. It was obvious he was pretty frazzled. "Podunk, Reid. Keep tryin'. We probably just hit a dead zone."

Reid tried Hotch again, not really listening to Morgan, but his phone wouldn't even send the call. When Reid glanced upward, he saw they were about to come up right on the Ford truck's tail.

"Did he hear you at all?" Morgan asked as he pulled his phone from his waist. He flipped it open and saw it said No Service which permitted him to close it and just toss it into Reid's floor board area, quickly giving his attention back to the road.

Reid kept watching the truck ahead of them. "I think so… I'm not sure. I didn't get the chance to even tell him where we are before I realized-,"

"That's alright." Morgan knew if it came down to it, this rental car would give a location if all else failed.

Reid saw Morgan seemed to be dead set on closing the gap between them and the truck, and rather quickly. "What are we gonna do? Just follow him or…?" His hand grabbed onto the handle of his pistol out of habit, sensing a need for protection. They hadn't had any time to prepare. They weren't wearing any type of communication gear other than their useless cell phones, their bullet proof vests were in the trunk and they had absolutely no plan. Not that he and Morgan couldn't take down an unsub on their own, but something didn't feel right. The longer Reid watched Morgan and his unwavering determination, the more nervous he got and his mouth started to hang open as he tried to watch everything that was happening. They were right behind the truck now and that bad feeling was yanking at his nerves, demanding to be acknowledged. And he wasn't getting through to Morgan; that was crystal clear when Morgan didn't answer him.

Morgan kept watching the reflected eyes of the unsub who was watching them in his rear view mirror. "Whatever it is you're plannin' to do… don't do it…" he said under his breath.

"Don't do what?" Reid tried to make out detail of what was happening through the back glass of the lifted truck, but he had no idea what Morgan was noticing. "What is he doing?"

That's when they heard the exhaust drone as the unsub's vehicle sped up. "He made us. He's gonna run." Morgan sped up to keep up.

"Made us?" Reid repeated back to himself as he watched Morgan, noticing the impulse reaction that had such a grip on him. He was like a dog chasing a cat. He wasn't gonna stop. Urgency suddenly struck Reid and he began yelling at Morgan as Morgan kept right on the unsub's ass. "We're unmarked and not wearing our gear! We are not prepared to stop him!" he tried to iterate to Morgan, louder this time. "We need back up, Morgan!" Reid exclaimed.

"I came up on him too fast. Hold on!"

"Are you listening to me?" Reid saw the severity of focus on Morgan's face. His body swayed as Morgan jerked the steering wheel to the left so he could drive down the center of the road. "Mor- Wh- What are you doing?"

"Gonna try a pit maneuver."

Are you crazy? "Morgan, all of our gear is in the trunk. For all we know he's got a shot gun cocked and loaded. I don't want to be a sitting duck for a loaded 12 gauge!"

"I ain't lettin' him get away, Reid! Now buckle your fucking seat belt!" Morgan barked after he saw that Reid was facing him, holding onto the seatback with his hand, not secured at all.

Reid snapped to move, doing what Morgan ordered. He tried desperately to pull on the belt, to pull it down and across his body, but once again, it locked. "What's wrong with this thing?" And with the adrenaline beginning to surge through his body, Reid couldn't pull on the belt gently enough for it to unwind. He looked up when he felt the impact occur. Morgan had bumped the left rear of the truck with the right front of the Fusion. That's when Morgan realized his miscalculation. Since the truck was lifted, the sloped front end of the car could barely nudge the bottom corner of the pickup bed, allowing the unsub to recover quickly.

"Dammit!" Morgan looked more determined than ever.

"Morgan, stop, this isn't going to work!" Reid felt like he was screaming at Morgan and still not being heard. It was infuriating.

Morgan had to think of something else. "Shoot out his tire!" Morgan ordered Reid.

"I can't even get buckled and you want me to disable his vehicle when you're practically crawling up his ass?" He shouted, still fighting to secure himself.

At the last second, the belt unwound. Reid pulled it over his body, but it caught again just before he could latch it. That adrenaline coursing through his veins had him shaking and he couldn't see through his hair enough to know he needed just another inch of slack on the belt. He looked up and thought he saw Morgan reaching for his own gun. His chest tightened, feeling like he was in a race against time and when looked back down, out of the corner of his eye, he saw red light glimmer between the wavy strands of his hair. In the following split second, he heard Morgan curse and then everything went dark.

Reid could feel tapping on his cheeks… He could feel hands in his hair… He could feel a near paralyzing pain throughout his entire body as warmth dripped down his neck, tickling enough for him to try to move his head to halt it.

"Reid! Reid…" Morgan kept trying to revive Reid and he could see that Reid was struggling to come to. "Don't you scare me, man. Wake up! Open your eyes… Look at me, Reid."

Reid could hear Morgan loud and clear, but nothing about his body felt like he had any control. He fought so hard to open his eyes and when he saw a sliver of daylight, he fought harder. When one of his lids finally lifted, he saw a blurry Morgan. "Mmmmmm… Mmmmo… mph," his voice was weak as he tried to say Morgan's name.

Fear struck Morgan's heart. I broke his brain… Reid's ongoing moans sounded like that of a mentally or physically disabled person who couldn't communicate. "Don't try to talk," Morgan told him. "I'm right here."

Thoughts and questions were beginning to arrange themselves in Reid's head, but he couldn't express any of them vocally. His eyes tried to focus on the air bag in front of him as Morgan kept trying to push it back into the compartment it shot out from. He could smell something burnt in the air and knew it was from the airbags detonating. The scent scratched at his throat and he involuntarily coughed, feeling a horrible pressure behind his temples. He touched his palm to the right side of his head and realized he could feel sensation in his hand, but where he had touched his head felt numb. His eyes got wide when he pulled his hand away and all he could see was the color of bright red painted onto his palm from his blood soaked hair.

Morgan pushed Reid's hand down into his lap. "Reid, we had an accident. Help is on the way. I need you to stay calm and don't move."

Reid looked beyond Morgan and saw the tempered glass of the windshield was shattered with quite an imprint in it. He could make out dents in the dash board and he looked at the deep scrape on his right arm that was starting to sting, just above the inside of his wrist. He couldn't stop his eyes from watering as the pain became overwhelming; the pressure in his head, his right shoulder and arm… his back, his hips... Reid suddenly remembered the unsub. "Where's… Where is he?" He was relieved to hear his own voice, but he still didn't feel coherent. He wasn't sure he said what he meant to.

Morgan was so relieved to hear Reid speak. "He's handcuffed to that truck. He ain't goin' anywhere." Reid squinted through the all the tiny cracks in the windshield to look at the back of the truck. Morgan followed his eyes. "He made me rear end him and he couldn't break loose thanks to his drop hitch. It's just about wedged into the engine." Morgan smiled a little bit and started lookin' around. "Dumb ass." His eyes made it back to Reid quickly. "How you doin'? You got a good bump on your head."

At some point, Reid had stopped listening while Morgan was talking. As he sat there, he could feel all his questioning turning to anger as he remembered how they got to where they were. In fact, he was getting so angry that he could feel a sensation rising outward from his chest. He needed to get out to the car. He felt so cramped and was dying for some fresh air. He tried to muster up the coordination to move. His hand reached for the door handle. Even extending his arm was painful. He felt like he could move though. He was going for it.

A car stopped to offer assistance and Morgan told Reid to hold tight, not sensing he was lookin' to bail, and he got out to speak with them to get them on their way; saying thanks and that help was coming. When he came back, he saw Reid standing outside of the car, trying to walk to the side of the road. He was limping and holding his right arm close to his chest.

"Reid!" Morgan immediately ran to him. "What are you doin'? Come on back. The ambulance is gonna be here any minute." He reached his arms out to Reid and Reid shied away.

"DON'T touch me."

"Reid, hey…" Morgan looked like Reid had just broken his heart. He kept his arm stretched out hoping Reid would just change his mind.

"Stay away from me…"

Morgan could tell by the look on Reid's face and sound of his voice, he absolutely meant it. Morgan heard the ambulance coming and looked down the road, but didn't see it. He looked back at Reid who was stressed to stay on his feet and then he glanced at his watch. It had been about eight minutes since the wreck. If it hadn't been for a nearby resident who heard the crash, they would have not even had an ambulance on the way yet. Reid was safer inside the car. Someone gawking at the accident could run off the road and hit him. "Reid, just come back to the car?"

"Why? You didn't kill me the first time?"

Morgan was taken aback. "What did you just say?"

"I told you it wasn't going to work. You did it anyway. You knew I wasn't buckled in…" Reid face grimaced as he suffered through the aching.

"Reid…" Morgan started, but Reid turned his back. "I didn't know. I thought…" he stopped talking, trying to remember what happened. He couldn't finish as the deep weight of the guilt set in. "Oh, man," he mumbled quietly to himself. "I am so sorry," he told Reid, trying to step into Reid's path to get Reid to look at him. Reid finally shot a glare at him and Morgan stepped aside. When Morgan reached up to rub his head with his hands, he felt the burns left from the airbag fabric. He stretched his arms out and could see red welts and broken skin. He looked back to Reid and watched him try to hobble off like a wounded animal.

The ambulance pulled up and Morgan waved the paramedics over to him and his injured partner. He insisted he was fine and to take care of Reid. He told them about his head injury, how he couldn't speak, and absolutely no narcotics when treating him. The rest of the BAU pulled up along with two patrol cars. Morgan took one last look behind him at Reid getting questioned about his injuries and listened. Reid was a good patient, telling them everything he knew was relevant. Morgan scanned the scene for Hotch and when they met eyes, they began to walk to one another.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked as he looked Morgan over. He looked as professional and unemotional as ever, but of course, Morgan knew him well enough to see deeper than that. Hotch was pretty concerned about what he could see had happened.

"I'm fine, but," Morgan motioned toward the car and then he and Hotch look toward where Reid was, "he wasn't buckled. He got tossed around…" Morgan felt another wave of guilt and it chocked him up for just a split second; he quickly controlled it. "I think he got thrown into the middle of the dash and then into the windshield and then back down. He was practically in my lap before I even knew what happened."

Hotch nodded while listening to Morgan. "You had confronted him?"

"We got into a bad fight, Hotch..." Morgan's face made it clear he was still in distress over it.

Hotch's eyes stared at Reid with the paramedics, but then moved to the wrecked rental car. "Is this accident a direct result of your argument?"

Morgan shook his head and held his fist to his mouth as he looked down at their feet, thinking back. "No, we were stopped on the side of the road. We weren't even in the car. And then Reid recognized the guy… We got in the car and caught up to him…"

There was a bit of silence as Hotch read the guilt on Morgan's face. He put his hand on Morgan's shoulder and then left him standing there and he walked up to Reid who was being stabilized on a gurney. "Reid, how are you feeling?" He looked down at Reid, very lovingly, like a caring father would and moved Reid's hair from his face.

Reid tried to smile at Hotch. "I have a splitting headache."

"Reid, I'm the one who found the Dilaudid. I should have come to you directly and I'm sorry I didn't."

"Hotch…" Reid was going to say he was sorry with the strength of a million apologies, but Hotch shook his head once, cutting him off with that simple gesture. The corners of Reid's mouth turned down and he looked away. When he looked up again, he saw Morgan standing at a distance, watching. His eyes shifted left and right until they looked up at Hotch again.

Hotch took Reid's hand and gave it a firm grasp. "Let me see who can accompany you on the way to the hospital." He left Reid and headed back to Morgan.

Morgan drilled Hotch as soon as he was standing next to him. "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing."

"It scares the shit outta me. He lied to me, Hotch."

"I'm worried too, but let's go ahead and wait until we can get back and then we'll address this with him, see if we can't get him some additional support."

Morgan just shook his head and sighed. He thought Reid didn't have any more chances… Hotch's soft spot for Reid was showing…

"Do you want to ride with him?"

"Nah, he doesn't want me around." Morgan tried to ignore the puzzled look on Hotch's face, but couldn't. "He's mad at me over that wreck. I insisted we get the guy… I was so focused on the chase…"

Hotch nodded once. They both stared at the Fusion with its front end plowed into the rear of the truck.

"I trust it will all be in your report… " Hotch locked eyes with Morgan and purposely contradicted his statement with his expression, meaning to leave out his personal issues with Reid. Morgan nodded in acknowledgement and in thanks. Rossi was last seen putting the unsub in a patrol car. JJ and Prentiss were waved over by Hotch. "Will you two please ride with Reid?"

"Yes, of course," JJ said. Prentiss nodded.

When the girls were out of sight, Hotch held out his hand to Morgan. Morgan looked around them and over his shoulders while reaching into his pocket. He quickly handed the vial over to Hotch. They nodded to each other and Hotch left Morgan there, standing alone. He watched Hotch meet up with Rossi across the way. He looked back to the ambulance and saw JJ holding Reid's hand. Prentiss was next to her, smiling at Reid, obviously trying to kid with him a little bit. It wasn't too much longer before the ambulance took Reid and the girls away. The unsub was also taken away by another ambulance. All that was left was the loud diesel engines of the tow trucks that were on site to tend to the truck and the rental car.

As Hotch and Rossi sat inside their car waiting for Morgan, Hotch filled Rossi in on what he understood had happened. And for whatever reason, Morgan was fixed on staring at the wrecked car, watching as the tow trucks drivers worked on separating the vehicles. "Something tells me he's not going to handle this well once it sinks in that he almost got Reid killed."

Rossi nodded. "I'd say you're right about that."

When Reid woke up in the hospital, Morgan wasn't there. And to be honest, he wasn't surprised. He was happy to have everyone else there and focused on that so he wouldn't upset himself. The team had waited, not heading back home without him. He even got a phone call from Garcia once she heard through the grape vine that he felt well enough to socialize a little bit.

After two days of treatment and observation it was time to head back to Virginia. Prentiss and JJ went with Morgan to their respective motel rooms to gather their things. Morgan asked the girls if they could grab Reid's stuff… He just couldn't deal with it. He was still angry, still hurt, feeling guilty about the wreck… and he held no comfort in touching anything of Reid's right now.

Reid hitched a ride with Rossi and Hotch to the jet. When he boarded the aircraft, he didn't see Morgan right away, nor did he even try to look for him. He did that on purpose. Hotch and Rossi took their seats just at the entrance and Reid kept walking, choosing a seat facing the back of the plane.

After about twenty minutes in the air, he saw Prentiss and JJ call him to come over to sit on the small couches with them in the back. As he walked to them, Reid ran his hand down his hair, feeling the gauze wrapped around his noggin to hold more gauze in place at the stitched up wound. He felt uneasy and nothing felt right; he felt scattered because of it, but he smiled at Prentiss and JJ anyway, trying to fit in again.

Morgan watched Reid from behind, noting his bandages and the fact that his right arm was in a sling. He hated himself. He wanted to go tell Reid how sorry he was. For everything. He pulled off his headphones and made to get up, but Hotch took hold of his wrist stopping him. Morgan's eye brows rose and he looked at Hotch in question.

"If you go to him now, you will only confuse him …and yourself."

"Hotch," Morgan started.

"Give each other some space and then have your talk." Hotch knew his advice was sound, but he also considered that another argument could take place. He didn't want that to happen in such close quarters.

Morgan relaxed in his chair, feeling the deflation of his bravado as he rested his body against the seat back again.

Prentiss had begun cracking jokes almost immediately, trying to see how many times she could get Reid to smile. JJ sat next to Reid and started messing with his hair, fixing the stray hairs that were out of place from the placement of the gauze. Reid was trying not to blush. JJ and Prentiss were paying special attention to him, obviously trying to distract him and have him feel loved and it was working very well.

After about an hour in the air Reid had been laughing at Prentiss for several minutes and he was convinced she was in the wrong line of work and should have been a comedian. His chuckles wound down as the girls got up. JJ had to use the bathroom and Prentiss wanted some water. Reid sat there alone and stared at his hands, still smiling on and off, already reminiscing about the faces Prentiss was making and the way JJ looked like she was going to cry whenever she laughed so hard.

Reid's sense that he was being watched tapped on his shoulder and he looked up, directly at Morgan. His instincts were right on both counts. Morgan was watching him. They stared at each other from across the cabin for a good thirty seconds. Reid only looked away because he heard the girls coming back. He looked back at Morgan for a second and then looked at JJ and Prentiss. He cleared his throat and tried to engage himself with the girls, but he could still feel Morgan's eyes on him. He couldn't stop himself from trying to glance again. When he did, he saw Morgan raise one eye brow with a slight nod to get his attention. Reid's eyes squinted a little as he became curious and he watched Morgan discreetly bring his closed fist to his chest and move it in a circle over his heart. He was signing that he was sorry. Reid subtly frog faced and looked away giving his full attention to JJ and Prentiss.

Oh, Jesus, that hurt. Morgan closed his eyes tight hoping he had just imagined that.

When the plane landed, Morgan sat quietly and was glad to see the girls get out of there. Rossi was quick to follow. Reid went to the back of the plane to get a bottle of water and Morgan wanted this chance to just talk to him. Hotch was taking his time gathering some things together, but Morgan didn't care that he was around. "Hey, Reid!" Morgan yelled to him. He heard Hotch say his name as he was standing up out of his chair, but Morgan had no problem ignoring him.

Reid stood between the couches, waiting for Morgan to take the several steps to reach him. His eyes moved from Morgan to Hotch and back to Morgan. When he saw Hotch was about to get off the plane, he called to him, "Hotch! Can you stay… for a second?"

Morgan looked over his shoulder at Hotch and then back to Reid. It was pretty clear that Reid didn't want to be left alone with Morgan and Morgan didn't know exactly why, but God damn it, he sure knew it stung like a son of a bitch.

Hotch stood at the entrance with his head down, not wanting to hear the conversation, but not willing to leave Reid alone if Reid wanted him there.

"Reid, I… I just wanna say that I'm really sorry, man. I made a mistake… I-"

Reid tried to smile as he cut Morgan off. "It's okay. I know it wasn't-"

"It's not okay…" Morgan cut Reid off, practically demanding Reid blame him for something.

"I'm okay," Reid told him, recognizing that concern in Morgan's eyes. He glanced at Hotch and licked his lips as he leaned closer to Morgan. "Look," he began quietly, "I'm sorry, you're sorry… Let's just forget about it."

Morgan pulled back so he could look Reid in the eye. "Forget about it?" How do we do that?

"Yeah, you know… Go back to the way things were and just forget any of this ever happened."

"Any of this?" Morgan didn't understand and now he was scared.

All Reid could think about was how badly he had disappointed Morgan. He felt that he no longer deserved Morgan and really just wanted to save him any more trouble. Besides, Morgan was done. He ended their relationship and Reid just didn't have the confidence to fight for it any longer. He was quickly getting angry at himself and it was coming through in his expressions as he spoke to Morgan. "Yeah, this…That's what you want, right?"

No, No, No. Morgan's heart began cracking because somethin' about the way Reid spoke had Morgan believing him; this is what Reid wants. He thought about how mad he had been at Reid. His face got hot at the embarrassment of the rejection; he knew now he could take it all back… He didn't want this to be over… but… but the look in Reid's eyes… He was already gone. "Yeah, man… if that's what you want…"

"I think it would be best…" Reid bit his lower lip into his mouth and raised his brow at Morgan.

All Morgan could do was buck up and gesture that he understood, like he got it and absolutely agreed, but he didn't. His mind raced with questions he didn't have the balls to ask. How are we going to face each other every day? How was this not going to get in the way of what a good friendship we had? How do I stop loving you?

Hotch remained witness to this and it made him feel so sorry for the both of them. They were breaking up and neither of them wanted to. Anyone on the outside could have seen that. And as much as he didn't want that for them, he wasn't going to interfere.

"I'll see you Monday." Reid started walking away, but turned his head back to tell Morgan, "Have a good weekend."

To Morgan, Reid's tone actually said I'm going to miss you and that left Morgan unable to speak. He was watching the man that he loved walk away, but he didn't feel like he had the right to stop him.

Reid scooted by Hotch and headed down the stairs carefully. Hotch and Morgan took a long look at each other until Hotch bowed his head and exited the plane.

Reid walked alongside Hotch in silence. He kept licking his lips and tucking them into his mouth to keep the dam behind his eyes from breaking. Walking away from Morgan was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do.

This is really happening, Reid told himself.

I thought I was going to write another chapter for this one, but it seems fitting that what I have already written be the start of a new story because there's going to be a considerable time laps. I do need to run through these chapters again and revise them here and there and I will create a note under each chapter body to let you know that's occurred (like I've done for the first 3 chapters), so anyone waiting on me can check my progress. I'll get it into a completed status and then begin posting for the new story. So, to iterate, the new story will be the same Reid and Morgan! YAY! I just need some time to get things in order.

This story is now on AdultFanFiction and Archive of Our Own. Not all the chapters are posted yet, but all in good time. I will post my other works too, eventually.

Again, all your support and getting so many favorable reviews has blown my mind. (I confess that I read them over and over.) The only thing that could come close to that would be for the CM writers to give me phone call and hire me to bring our boys together on the show. ;) I'll be over here holding my breath.

I will remain a member here and keep posting here.