Tankards and Tempers
Chapter 21: One Bridge too far
"Weeeeee!" Keldorn heard being yelled from the other side of the house as he entered Laska's abode. Apparently, she and his other friends were ready to start adventuring again and they would try their luck finding a new job to further fill up the 'Imoen'-fund as Laska called it. A moment later, he noticed Risa sliding down the bannister, apparently having great fun.
"Careful, child!" he said while he moved to catch her. "You might fall!"
"Nuh-uh!" Risa laughed as she wriggled away from his grasp only to run up the stairs again for another go.
"Coming through!" the voice of Laska sounded from above as she came sliding down the bannister as well. "Keldorn!" she shouted as the last moment, just before the elf slammed into the paladin while he replied with a resounding 'ooooffff'.
"Errr, sorry," Laska grinned as she stood up and helped Keldorn to get up as well.
"Why do you act like such a child?" Keldorn groaned as the strong elf hoisted him to his feet.
"Oh, come on," Laska chuckled. "It's fun. Try it."
"GREAT FUN!" Minsc shouted as he slid down the bannister. Unfortunately, he shot through and landed squarely on top of the table. His trip didn't end there; he slid over the table and came to a halt when he crashed into the piano, making the instrument scream in protest by exclaiming false musical notes.
"Woohoo!" Jan giggled as he followed and actually overshot Minsc.
A few moments later, Viconia followed suit, sitting side-saddled on the bannister.
"Not you too," Keldorn sighed.
"Wow, the bannister has never been cleaner," Laska chuckled.
"And my robe has never been greasier..." Viconia grimaced, while she wiped her pantseat.
"OY! Watch me go!" Korgan roared as he shot down the bannister with great speed.
"But now it's all dirty again," Laska muttered as she ran her finger over the bannister after Korgan's brief use of it.
"Och, it be nothing. No need ta be thankin' me," Korgan replied.
"Don't you lot have anything better to do?" Keldorn sighed.
"Oh, yeah... I almost forgot..." Laska said and bent to one knee. "Risa, you enjoy yourself at school while we go off to work."
"Sure!" she giggled.
"Remember to lock the door," Laska said.
"Oh, what can happen?" Jan giggled. "Though I guess some people might come in and squat the place... Oh, I forgot, we already did that. What are the chances of that happening twice in one lifetime?"
"Alright," Keldorn said. "Gather up Khittix and Boo and we are off."
"A little eager, aren't ye, long-limb?" Korgan chuckled.
They noticed Khittix and Boo were sitting in opposite chairs in front of a roaring fire. Boo was squeaking, and after he was done, Khittix seemed to be chirping in response.
"Hey," Laska said. "Is it just me, or are those two having a conversation?"
Jan put a finger to his beard. "Say, shouldn't we douse that fire?"
"Nah, it'll go out on its own," Laska shrugged.
"You're a credit to home security, Laska," Viconia sighed and folded out the screen in front of the fire, effectively choking off the fire's supply of oxygen.
Then, while Minsc picked up Boo, Viconia bid Khittix to return to the statuette which she gently put in a small pouch tied to her belt. The group gathered their weapons and were set to leave home.
"WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF THAY!" Lilarcor sang cheerfully, but terribly off-key.
"No, we shipped him off to Icewind Dale," Viconia muttered.
'*Can't you shut your mouth for just an instant, you big blow-hard!*' Ipsiya snorted, while Lilarcor continued to talk.
"Hey, baby," Lilarcor tried again. "We're off to adventure again, you little nice-hilted blue momma..." he spoke in a strange accent.
'*Shove it!*' Ipsiya snarled.
"Your scabbard or mine? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink," Lilarcor added.
'*Grrrrrr*' she seethed in response.
"Ready to go?!" Laska asked while her companions nodded. "Let's go!"
And before Keldorn knew it, they had run out of the house leaving him standing. "Amazing," Keldorn told himself. "Immovable for a week, and then out of the door in an instant."
Gazing around, he noticed the house was a big mess. Clothes, armors, pieces of half-eaten food were all laying on the floor. Used plates and half-filled glasses were sitting on the table, having awaited a wash-up for days. Two decorative suits of armor were thrown about and left lying, and spots of dirt 'adorned' the expensive carpets, while the walls showed the remnants of a recent food-fight... and this was only the main room. Considering they had only been living here for a week, he wondered what this house will look like a month from now. Or a year.
Then, before leaving, he gazed at the bannister. 'Why not?', he chuckled inwardly, walked up the stairs and attempted to slide down. Unfortunately, the weight of his armor meant that he was only able to slide for a couple of centimeters. "Aw," he sighed in disappointment.
One of the most important places in Athkatla was simple called 'the Bridge'. Whoever came up with that name was not very creative, but rather very practical. Athkatla was essential sliced into two halves by the river moving through it, and the bridges were important lifelines keeping connected. As such Athkatla's three bridges, of which 'the Bridge' was the largest, saw traffic twenty-four hours a day.
Laska had seen and walked across this impressive structure several times before, and she was just as amazed as she had walked across it the first time. This sturdy, stone bridge was very long, almost as large as Waukeen's promenade, and high enough to allow vessels to travel under it. Twenty-five years in the making by the finest gnomish craftsman and designers (none of which was a Jansen, Jan had told her indignantly), had given Athkatla a bridge to be proud of. So thick and sturdy it was, it was able to support a multiple amount of large structures, including several inns and houses which were actually built into the stone bridge itself. The Five Flagon's Inn was famed for having an entire basement hewn into the stone. This massive feat of engineering in itself was completed by the wooden docks which complimented the larger docks nearby.
Best thing of all, the bridge was large enough so that Laska would not have to be confronted with deep water on either side.
Today, however, the Bridge seemed to be seeing considerable less bustle. There were a lot of guards about and some places seem to have been cordoned off.
"Uh-oh," Laska muttered as she was interrupted by the clanking of armor and noticed one of the city guards approaching them. "What did we do now?"
"Greetings, citizens," the guard greeted with a harsh look. "I trust you'll be keeping your weapons at your sides. I should hate to have to run you by the garrison if anything should happen."
"Hey, we haven't done anything yet! We just got here. This isn't a shake-down, is it?" Laska snarled.
"Without question," the guard replied, "but I'm making it my business to warn everybody on the street. With all your gear you might look a rich target to the wrong person."
"Heroes of goodness need no warning!" Minsc shouted. "Where we tread, evil trembles in our wake! Any evil scum who would dare to do their evil deeds will face hamster justice!"
"Errrr, I see," the guard replied warily. In the background, Viconia made extra effort to keep herself hooded.
"Ach! Any bloody fool who dare to be thinkin' of me as a target, rich or nay, is a fool begging to have his innards brought out to be meetin' the sun, and that be the bleedin' truth," Korgan pounded on his chest.
"It's not like that..." the guard sighed. "There's a disgustingly sick person out there and I simply don't have the manpower to protect everyone. He's been killing paupers, sometimes in the alley where they sleep."
"What!" Keldorn spoke up from behind. "How long has this been going on?!"
"Sir Firecam!" the guard exclaimed. "I did not see you standing there."
"What do you mean 'I did not see him'?" Jan chuckled. "How could you have missed the hideous color of his armor?"
"My armor was a gift from Torm," Keldorn spoke in a heavy, threatening voice.
"Have you kept the receipt?" Jan asked. "Maybe you can exchange it for something less horrible, like a purple plate mail or a red leather..."
"If I might break in," the guard broke in, "I think we got off on the wrong foot. I am Lieutenant Aegisfield and I have been charged to investigate these horrible murders. All the clues I have gathered indicate that the murderer flays them... alive, and then he leaves them to bleed in alleys. Little Faraji, a local urchin, found the latest victim. I hate to think of a child seeing that. But now, Sir Firecam, I assume these are the adventures who cleaned out the Beholder cult? Perhaps you could assist me in my investigation."
"How long has this evil been going on?" Keldorn asked.
"Two weeks now. I'm afraid I don't have the manpower..."
"Two weeks?!" Keldorn exclaimed. "Why did you not inform the Order? We would have gladly assisted you in this effort."
"My superior Isaea Roenall explicitly ordered not to involve any other organizations or persons with this investigation," Aegisfield spoke with disdain. "He wants all the glory of finding the murderer for himself."
"Preposterous!" Keldorn snarled. "That whelp wants to hoard glory while people die?"
"And he full well knows I can't do this one on my own," Aegisfield lamented. "I would be grateful for any assistance you can give me. But I bid you to be careful. Old Rampah was damn near killed, and a streetwalker in the area, Rose, was plain lucky." With a curt nod, Aegisfield bid the party good luck before going on his rounds.
"Well," Laska grinned as the party moved to an alleyway to confer. "We have a new job! Things are looking up."
"Well, what be this then?" Korgan chuckled. "Mayhap a rabid mink wants revenge on the long-limbs... HAR HAR!"
"Please," Keldorn stressed. "I hardly think talk like this is appropriate."
"Strange," Viconia muttered. "I wonder why he only takes the skin. I've heard of other human organs making excellent spell components. And the bodies could be enchanted as undead. Seeing the murderer wastes so much profitable ventures, it makes me consider he's looking for something specific. On the other hand, it is no strange occurrence in the Underdark to flay a prisoner or slave for sport."
"I really don't want to know how you found out about that," Laska grimaced.
"Gee, I wonder if those drow flayed someone I knew. I haven't seen uncle Eduardo for a while. We lost track of him when he bought a new house, next to a nice family of griffins," Jan muttered. "Maybe the drow kidnapped him!"
"We must give the boot of justice to the nasty icky person who steals skin that does not belong to him!" Minsc announced.
The group moved out of the alleyway and stepped further on to the Bridge. But just as soon as the party passed through a great arch leading into another section of the Bridge, they were met with another gruesome scene. Three bodies, all human men, lay sprawled on the ground, surrounded by a number of gawking locals. The faces on the bodies were twisted visages of pain, and the flesh seemed to have been ripped from their necks with great force.
"Aye," one of the peasants said. "Aegisfield's men ain't got around to pickin' 'em up yet."
"At least they ain't skinned like the other poor sods," another spoke.
"Ach, they be thieves. I ain't sheddin' no tear for those Shadow Bastards," yet another peasant added.
"They were men too, Gilbe," the fourth peasant said. "No one deserves this fate. Come on. Let us leave..."
As the peasants walked off, Laska and Viconia stepped up to the bodies to get a better look. "Hmmm," Viconia said. "I wondered if this was done by... someone we are acquainted with..."
"Speaking of which," Laska replied. "Are you any closer to finding something that could help Dynaheir?"
Immediately, a gasp of hope could be heard from behind the two elves. A twirl around her axis revealed a beaming Minsc to Viconia. "You... will help?" he asked. "You will cure fair Dynaheir?"
"Well, I," Viconia said, but a few moments later, her ribs screamed in protest as she was taken in a powerful bear-hug.
"Oh, GLORIOUS DAY!" Minsc shouted and put Viconia down again.
"Thanks a lot!" Viconia shouted at a sheepish Laska while being crushed by the hulking giant. "That's all I need! Yet more pressure!"
"Errrr," Laska flashed bright red, "sorry... Me idiot..."
"Hey!" Minsc suddenly spoke up. "Boo hears the sounds of whipping! Maybe a disgusting mean man is harming a helpless horse! Let us investigate!"
"Yes," Viconia said while still killing Laska ten times over in her mind, "lets. I am thankful Minsc, at least, has a short attention span."
"Hey, I said I was sorry," Laska pouted.
"Oh, come on, Laska," Jan called from the bottom of the staircase leading to the docking ports next to the bridge. "It's easy... One step after another... You've down stairs before."
"Oy! Will you be comin' down anytime soon? We ain't got all day!" Korgan stressed.
Once more, Laska put her first foot on the staircase... and felt fear grip her by the throat again as she looked down. "No!" Laska shouted. "I'm not going down! You'll have to solve this yourself."
"Ach, get down, ye sissy elf!" Korgan shouted.
"Is she afraid of heights?" Keldorn asked.
"No," Viconia replied. "Water."
"WATER?! HAR HAR!" Korgan roared in laugher. "Donnae be tellin' me missy tough-as-nails point-ear is afraid of a little water?! Har, HAR!"
"It's true," Viconia said. "Imoen told me Laska has never even told her the story behind it."
"But I've seen you swim in the pool back at the home!" Jan called upward. "Is there a different type of water in your pool?"
"Yeah," Laska retorted. "But I can see the bottom in my pool, not here! I'll just stay here, thanks..."
"We will not get her down. She is very stubborn in this matter," Viconia said, remembering Laska's fearful attitude towards water back in Baldur's Gate. She had refused to cross the bridge leading to the city and it had taken Viconia and Dynaheir an hour to convince her to cross it.
"Come on!" Minsc added. "We must hurry! The evil man could be leering evilly over that poor horse as we speak!"
"Har, har... Sissy elf," Korgan chuckled, just before a bucket thrown from above hit him in the head.
"Work faster, you useless dogs!" a very portly man with whip in hand shouted in a very whiny voice at his two workers who were loading crates to his ship. "Faster, I say! We shall never have the ships loaded on time if you continue to be so lazy!"
The two ogres were hard workers and continued to load the crates. One of them, however, seemed to display a rather sickly color in his face. Immediately, the other ogre put down the crate and supported his friend. "Gurgh be sick! Sick! He must slow, master!" the ogre spoke.
"Never!" the fat man shouted. "I'll not lose a commission because of you damnable ogres! Work faster I say! FASTER!"
"You no nice! We ogres no work!" the sickly ogre replied.
"Yes, we no work for you if you so mean!" the other one said.
"Do not force me to whip you again, lazy dogs!" the fat man replied. "You will respect my authori-TAH!"
Suddenly, as the man raised his whip and tried to slash it forward, he found his wrist caught by a graying, scarred man in a hideously colored armor. "For shame, merchant," the man spoke with disdain. "These ogres turn from the path of evil to attempt to make an honest living and you reward their good intentions with violence?"
"Who do you think you are, dog?!" the fat man cried. "Release me, I say, or this entire city shall BURN!"
"I highly doubt that. And I think it would better that you two find a new job," Keldorn spoke to the ogres who looked on warily. "There is always good work to be found for ogres with strong backs. Try to find someone who will treat you better."
"Gurgh and me thank," the large ogre spoke and he and his friend strolled to the other side of the dock to try their luck at another docked ship.
"You cur!" the fat merchant shouted at Keldorn. "Now I will never get back to Neverwinter in time!"
"Next time, think upon your actions," Keldorn said and turned to his party... just in time to see Korgan's axe fly only inches from the side of his head. From the gurgle behind him, Keldorn was certain that the axe had landed in the fat merchant's forehead. "Korgan!" he said as the dwarf whooshed by to retrieve his precious axe. "That was unnecessary!"
"Was it?" Korgan chuckled and turned the bleeding corpse over, showing that the fat man had been holding a miniature crossbow. "He be plannin' ta shoot ye in the back, ye daft pansy!"
"Ah," Keldorn humbly spoke. "I owe you an apology then. And my gratitude."
"Ach, it be fun. And even better! Now ye owes me. HaHAR!"
A few moments later, a very confused Minsc stepped into view. "Minsc does not understand. Where is the poor horse?"
Tired of waiting, or more to the point, tired of pacing around waiting for her companions, Laska decided to take a few moments to wet her whistle. There were no less than two taverns near here, and she was deciding where to go. The Five Flagon's Inn had more choice of drinks, but Delosar's Inn was rowdier, and thus, the change of getting into a good fist fight was greater.
After some thinking, she decided to step over to the Five Flagon's instead. She could use a drought of evermead. It was her people's drink, after all... But walking across the marketplace near the Five Flagon's she came across a crying girl calling loudly for her mother to find her. The little girl was about Risa's age, Laska could see. The tall elf bent to one knee and spoke to the child. The child started a little, but looked the elf in the eye.
"Hey there," she smiled. "What's wrong?"
"I...I'm lost," the girl sniffed, dressed in rags and barely five years of age by the look of her. "I can't find my mommy."
"Okay," Laska smiled. "This is an adventure I can handle. So, in which house do you live?"
"We...we don't live anywhere," the girl cried. "Mommy doesn't have any money!"
"I see," Laska said. "Tell me about your mother? What is her name?"
"Me mommy is... is... she's my mommy!" the girl's tears ran over her cheeks again. "I just want my mommy! Please, please, I just want my mommy!"
"Okay, quit the waterworks," Laska said and took the girl's hand. "Now where did you last see her?"
"I told you to leave me alone!" Viconia snarled at an elven sailor.
"But I... I was just wondering if you... Ermmm, might be... willing to... Errr..." the hopeful elven sailor pressed.
"I can smell you from across the docks, darthiir!" Viconia snarled. "Even if I were interested, I do not want you to be that close to me!"
"But..."
"Do you really want to find out how vicious drow females can be?!" Viconia snarled. "It's people like you that prove males are inferior!"
"But..."
"Go away!" Viconia snarled again. "Can you not take a hint? I am not a sex toy nor a prostitute!"
The elven sailor sighed and slinked away disappointed.
"Let us find Laska," Viconia asked Keldorn, while the aged paladin gave a couple of coins to a halfling beggar, who in turn bowed and told Keldorn he was looking forward to eating the food he was going to buy with it.
"Why do you bother, Keldorn?" Viconia asked. "Why do you give your gold to these people who do not deserve it?"
"A little compassion, Viconia," Keldorn spoke softly. "The measure of our hearts is taken by the kindness we show to the least of our brethren."
"Hah," Viconia chuckled. "What will your coins do? At best, it will buy a beggar a meal or two before it is gone. In the worst case, it makes him a target for a mugger or cutpurse, meaning your kind gift could cost him dearly. The best solution for him would be to find a job and work himself out of destitution by self-determinism. Your hands-out only serve to keep the destitute lazy and unproductive. Hunger is a powerful teacher, suliss."
"Of course," Keldorn said, "but our gifts will keep a man from starving. What you propose could lead to people dying the streets. There are simply not enough opportunities offered for everyone. The solution is not as simple as it might seem to you. A few coins can help, and the church of Ilmater does a lot to alleviate the suffering."
"Which creates adverse effects, unless Ilmater hands out employment."
"Sometimes they do."
"Ah, but it is the nobles that control all the opportunities. The poor are simply not strong enough to take them. What they don't realize is that, together as a group, they are about twenty times more in number that the nobles, and that they could easily overpower them and take power from the nobles."
"What you are suggesting is nothing less than a peasant-revolution!" Keldorn said. "But that will have death and chaos as a result!"
"Do not worry," Viconia chuckled. "It will never happen, for they cannot work together. In a way, they have the same weakness the drow have. We are strong, powerful warriors, in the way of blade and magic alike, but we trust each other less than we trust outsider-races. And that is our greatest weakness. Trust me, if the drow ever learn to trust each other and work together, the armies of darkness will march all over the face of Toril. But it will never, ever happen..."
"Did I hear mention the word revolution," Jan chimed as the party climbed the stairs heading toward the upper bridge. "That reminds me of my cousin Jeffrey Jansen. Strapping young lad, he was. Until the exploding horse-plop incident of course, but that is another story altogether. Anyway, cousin Jeffrey was the first and subsequently the last gnome to mechanize the turnip-growing process. After buying out all the old trustworthy turnip cellars around Luskan, he created a whole factory to grow turnips at an incredible rate. With machines, top-notch fertilizer... and lots of unhappy gnomes who, while lovingly growing turnips still, were dreadfully underpaid. One exploding piece of machinery too many, which was shabby workmanship really, led to public outrage. That silly Jeff; I told him not to make heavy machinery out of highly flammable cardboard, but Jeffrey was a cheapskate, you see? Anyway, all the workers went on strike and left Jeffrey high and dry. The factory was down for more than a month, the turnip-supply was dwindling, and so were the exports. Unfortunately, the export halted to a very big importer of turnips, namely, the drow city of Rilauven. And those drow get pretty cranky when they can't get to their turnips!"
"Drow, myself included, do not eat turnips!" Viconia said, a little too quickly.
"Oh, they didn't only eat them, they also smoked them!" Jan said. "And they made furniture out of turnips and beholder-spit!"
"Oh, I refuse to listen to this!" Viconia snarled, again a little too quickly.
"Anyway, the drow came, took all the remaining turnips and burned down the factory. They also forced Jeffrey to return all the lands he had taken, so that the normal turnip-farming could begin anew. And so, the drow actually did a good deed... If they hadn't threatened to come back if the gnomes couldn't deliver, that is... Jeffrey came to a sadder end actually. He traveled to Sembia, where he insulted a half-orc's mother. 'Trench-mouth' is apparently not an acceptable greeting there. So the half-orc folded him up into a nice little ball and tossed him against a couple of empty bottles. And through this a new sport was born... 'Gnowneling'. They don't play it anymore nowadays, since there's this big gnome-shortage in Sembia right now."
"Those lucky Sembians," Keldorn muttered.
"Let's just... find Laska..." Viconia sighed.
"MOMMY!" the girl cried as she flew towards a lean, attractive human woman going through a dustbin in an alley.
"Becky!" the woman called as her child and Laska stepped into the alley. "I was so worried."
"This nice lady helped me find you," Becky said and pointed to Laska.
"Wow," the woman spoke, "you look... dangerous," referring to Laska's armor, weaponry and tattoos.
"I'm an adventurer," Laska said. "Don't you have a place to stay for the night? There are murderers about. It isn't safe."
"Ah, I'm afraid it was the fault of my own naivete," the woman said, looking sad. "I came to this city to start a new life with my daughter... But without money... I was so stupid..."
"Nah," Laska said. "Drinking heavily and spinning around very quickly. Now, that's stupid!"
"My name is Lasalla. Becky here," the woman sighed. "Is the result of my liaison with my former employer. I used to be a maid for a rich nobleman. But when I told him the child was his, he threw me on the street in fear that his wife might find out. We traveled from Trademeet to Athkatla but we haven't had much luck when we got here. I fear Becky here will be the victim of my mistakes..."
"You say you are a maid?" Laska asked. "You see, I recently become the owner of a lovely mansion."
"Definately!" Lasalla said. "I also have quite the cooking experience. Might... Might I presume you... you are seeking to employ a... maid?" she asked with intense hope radiating from her person.
"Well, basically, yeah," Laska chuckled.
"You're not more boring nobles, are you?" Becky pouted.
"Nope," Laska said. "I think you might enjoy our company. You might like my small house-guest too."
"Does, does this mean we are hired?" Lasalla asked?
"Sure! I'm not sure if I'm doing you a favor if you mean to clean up the mess we make, though," Laska chuckled. "Room and board and a nice pay. You can work out the details with my friend Viconia later. She handles all our finances. I'll have to squeeze Keldorn a bit, but I'll be able to get Becky into his daughter's school as well."
"Thank you," Lasalla whispered, almost in disbelief. "You're a saint..."
"Hey, there's no need to insult me!" Laska grinned. "Just go to the Temple District. Look for the Guildhouse of the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart. My estate is next to it... Heh, 'my estate'. I love saying that. Pick out a free room at the top floor and get settled in at your own leisure. Now if you'll excuse me," she said while drawing her swords, "I must go kick some ass soon... Oh, and I hope you like spiders... and hamsters... and dwarves..."
Lasalla nodded once more and took Becky toward the temple district, as to not give her the opportunity to change her mind.
"Ah, another good deed," Laska chuckled, feeling good about herself.
'*HAH!* ' Ipsiya chuckled. *'I wouldn't say that, considering she has to clean up after you lot...'*
"At least they're off the streets and out of harm's way..." Laska said. "Come on," she told her sword. "Let's find the others..."