Warning: Smut sandwich: That's smut in the middle with angsty plot on either end.

My Importance

Whore.

It was the single most depressing word that had gone through her head, over and over. 'You'll always be a whore.' Her mind chanted to her over and over again. Despite his honeyed words of the past few days, his declared desire for her to be his wife if it were a possibility and his seemingly obvious desire for her love, all she would ever truly be to him was his whore and he had found a way to achieve that. That was what she thought when he'd announced the substance of his oversight. Those were thoughts that overwhelmed her and tore apart whatever bond she felt between them.

Heimdall's ever-watchful eye. The moment her disappearance became apparent, the moment the crown would be petitioned with the rare request to find someone gone missing, his all seeing eye would search for her and discover her on Midgard. While it would result in her shame and being brought back to face whatever punishment such a crime deserved, it would result in far worse for the dark prince. Loki would never allow such a thing to happen, could not allow such a thing to happen. So she couldn't imagine that it had been an honest mistake, that the God of Lies had been telling the truth when he professed to having made such a monumental oversight. She had been certain that it had been a calculated move, a truth that he had kept from her until he saw fit to reveal it. She knew now, that she had been wrong in her supposed certainty. If she'd been thinking rationally at the time and not like some scared, caged animal ready to bite anything that came near her, she would have realized that if he'd been intentionally hiding this revelation from her, he would have waited until after taking her to Midgard or right before. He would have waited for the moment when she couldn't possibly refuse him however; he'd revealed the monumentally important information before that. He'd done it during the 'truce between them', perhaps as a gesture of his good faith. But she had not been rational; she'd been nothing but angry and hurt.

She'd been foolish to use those words, to 'be rid of him' but she had not been thinking about how her words would be received by the temperamental prince. She had only been thinking about the implications of what he'd said. Each time she struck a deal or refused a deal with this man it led to either her prostituting herself in some way or her being inadvertently brutalized. Of the many things she looked forward to on Midgard, being relieved of the title of whore was right at the top of the list. When she found out how often he would need to return, she could only think that he meant to continue their bargain, continue it on Midgard and that she would never be able to escape that soul crushing moniker. It had left her feeling so hollow inside that she wasn't mindful of her words to a man she already knew was unpredictable and oddly fragile where it concerned her.

However, the moment she finished that sentence, she knew that life was just about to get infinitely more difficult. Did she expect to lose her final days in Asgard and not be given a chance to even symbolically say goodbye to the realm of her birth? Not in the slightest. Even after he'd told her that this was her new home, she hadn't been able to believe it. With the still burning pain in her back and then the excruciating feeling of being flipped inside out, she still didn't believe it. She didn't believe it when she quickly glanced around the odd, very foreign room. She didn't believe it when he told her that she belonged to him. It wasn't until he threw the object through the wall that it all solidified in her mind. She'd collapsed on the cushioned bench at that moment; the weight of it all was crushing her. Then she confirmed what she already knew, what he'd already told her but she needed to say the words aloud. This was how they would always be, she truly did belong to him whether she had given her consent or not. The choice had been his and his alone while she was impotent to do anything about it. She could try to fight it but she would lose, just cause herself pain and perhaps even worsening her already pitiful situation if she tried.

The worst part of it lay in the undeniable fact that she really did care for him but no matter the situation, she would never care to be his possession knowing that her life would never really be her own. Her father truly had cursed her by ever letting her believe that it could ever be any other way. He should have always sheltered her, determined the important aspects of her life for her and made sure she thought the same way as most Asgardian girls. If he'd done that, she never would have known the beauty of freedom, the indescribable feeling of self possession and she never would have had to know the absolute pain of having it all ripped away.

Twice now she'd felt this sort tearing of her soul. The first had not been the announcement of her betrothal but Fraener's declaration that she would only be his wife, not allowed to be the healer she had always dreamed of becoming. That was the first time her free will had been taken and now this was the second. She'd bargained for a life that would be her own but he'd taken the liberty, whether intentionally or unintentionally it didn't matter, to change that bargain. Her life would never truly be her own; it would always belong in some part to someone else. She'd traded a shorter life on Asgard with Fraener as her keeper for a longer one on Midgard with Loki as her keeper. She obviously preferred the lesser of two evils but the preference would never be confused with choice. She'd never had a choice as much as she'd deluded herself into thinking she did.

The worst part of it, while Fraener was a just a cruel fool that didn't understand what he'd done, Loki was no fool and understood with complete clarity what he had taken from her. She knew this for fact, or he would not have stood there, held her and apologized for it.

Now she lay in her Midgardian bed with her Asgardian capture's arm draped over her, his chest to her back. She wanted to cry but she just lay there blankly. She could try hating him again, punishing him again the only way she knew how but she'd played out that little fantasy before. It wouldn't change anything. Every three months he would come to renew the concealment and every three months he would renew his possession over her. Though she wasn't going to fool herself, she would see this prince of Asgard far more often than that. He was not one to deny himself her attentions for too long. She sighed. She would accept this fate and in time, until that acceptance dawned, she would just try to focus on what her life would consist of outside of him. She would eventually grow used to this new idea of him, as she had forced herself to do in Asgard. The ache would scab over, grow numb and someday she would likely grow to look forward to his visits and his possession. It was the way of things, if a person does not adapt, that person will eventually die and Kenna had no desire for that.

The arm around her suddenly tightened, signaling his arrival into the conscious world. He remained still behind her for some time without speaking. She wondered how long this would go on. He certainly knew she was awake as well, in truth; she'd never really slept. After some time passed, the thumb of the hand that had been pressed against her upper abdomen started caressing the smooth flesh with small back and forth swipes. Not long after, she felt the hardness of him form against her buttocks. That was when she moved for the first time, tilting her chin down toward her chest only a fraction. Whether he took that tiny movement as some tentative consent or if it was just what broke him out of his frozen state, she didn't know but right after, his hand slid down her belly and between her legs. Kenna let out a breath and nothing else.

That hand lifted up her thigh so he could place his leg between hers, keeping her slightly parted for him before the same hand started a tortuous caress of the small nub that was responsible for so much of her pleasure. She felt him shift behind her, rising up onto his elbow before he started to kiss her shoulder. He willed a response from her body with careful ministrations and before long he'd garnered her slickness with his fingers. He took her body's offer for what it was and used the same hand to lift her leg higher, spreading her enough to allow him easy entrance. As soon as he was seated deeply within her, he relinquished her thigh in favor of a full breast. Kenna didn't try to keep the sighs hidden from him or the moans that followed once he'd started his steady pace behind her.

"Do you hate me Kenna?" He whispered into her hear before kissing the spot directly beneath it. She just shook her head. "Will you hate me when I never leave you be?" She hesitated but took a deep breath and shook her head once more. "Thank you." Kenna just let out a clipped sardonic laugh and then she nodded. Finally she moved, reaching back with the arm she wasn't lying on to gently place her hand on his hip, feeling the muscles clench and release beneath her palm. Loki then released the breast he'd been paying exquisite attention to in order to run his hand from her upper arm and down to her hand that touched him so simply. His hand covered hers completely before he entwined his fingers with hers. The gesture made her chest ache and just served to confuse her even more than she thought possible.

He continued within her, not saying another word and not releasing her hand until Kenna knew he was getting close then he moved both of their hands between her legs and silently asked her to take her own pleasure. She did, rubbing furious circles upon herself, his fingers hovering over hers, watching in a tactile sense while he placed little nips along her exposed neck. He sped up his thrusts when she got close but waited to finish until she started her rhythmic embrace. His teeth were firm against her shoulder as he groaned out his end but not hard enough to hurt or leave a mark. They both lay there panting for several minutes and he didn't bother to leave her immediately. Eventually, he pulled from her with a small hiss escaping his lips. Kenna stayed on her side until he silently asked her to roll onto her back with a gentle pressure from his hand.

When she finally obeyed, he hovered over her, his eyes seemingly scanning her face for something. Kenna couldn't even begin to know what it was he was looking for but the longer this went on, the more worried he became. His sights landed everywhere, her lips, her chin, her eyes and hair, never stopping in their unfathomable search. She couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you see when you look at me?" He eyes snapped to hers, some of the tension draining from his face seemingly at the sound of her voice but he didn't answer. "Do you see more than your whore?" He squeezed his eyes shut but again remained silent. "Because I can't see how you could." He didn't look at her when he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry to have made you think that."

"It's what you wanted."

"Only in the beginning."

"What changed?"

"I did."

She didn't have a response to that and he didn't elaborate. She had the distinct feeling that he didn't because he couldn't and not because he didn't want to. So instead she opted for a discussion of their future, ever the practical woman.

"So what now?" He opened his eyes again.

"Now?" He sighed. "Now you begin your life here and I," he lowered his head into the crook of her neck, "go back to pretending in Asgard." She pulled away from him then and quickly slid out of the bed. She could feel what he'd left trickle down her thighs at the sudden change.

"Stop that." He looked up at her somewhat surprised, still where she'd left him. "Stop saying things like that."

"The truth? Would you prefer that I lie to you as well?" He asked, sitting up and letting his legs slide off the side of the bed.

"I don't lie to you." She defended herself.

"I was not talking of you." She didn't have a response to that one especially in light of the disarmed look he gave her so she opted for another question of her own.

"Do you lie to me?"

"I lie to myself far more than I've ever lied to you."

"And just what do you have to lie to yourself about?" He laughed self deprecatingly at her question.

"Everything. My importance to my family, my importance to you, my purpose in anything and everything I've ever done. What I won't do to bring you back, away from this unremarkable ball of dirt and its pathetic excuses for sentient creatures."

The confession was too much for her as his confessions tended to be. "Stop."

"So you would like me to lie to you?" He stood up then making a simple gesture with one hand that both placed black pants on him and a green robe around her. "You are the only person that I've ever met that I actually don't wish to lie to but if it's what you would prefer, I'll acquiesce to your wishes." He had advanced on her but not in a threatening manner. He was now standing directly in front of her and she could feel his cool breath against her forehead. She didn't look up at him. She felt so weak right now, too weak to fight with him, too weak to hold up anyone but herself, let alone someone like him.

"No." She sighed and leaned into him. She didn't know how to handle herself at the moment, she felt so confused by everything that had occurred in the past day that she felt thankful when his arms wrapped around her. "Don't ever lie to me." She confirmed for him.

"I will not." She felt his lips press against the top of her head. "You are not my whore. Not any longer." He took a deep breath and she could hear it through his chest. "If you no longer wish to share your body with me, I will restrain myself," he paused momentarily, "if you wish to reject my advances but I give no promises that I will not try every time I come to see you." She just nodded, acknowledging his concession. "Our bargain has met its conclusion and there is no longer any… sexual obligation on your end."

"What I said yesterday…" He hushed her by pulling up her chin and lightly pressing his lips to hers.

"I would rather you not explain." He said after he pulled away. Kenna just nodded and moved onto her tiptoes to initiate the kiss this time. He took it. They stayed like that for a long time before he finally broke it.

"Would you like an orientation of your new surroundings before I return to Asgard?" She gave him a crooked little smile as her eyes looked around the room.

"I'd like that." And as quickly as it had gone, the tentative truce between them reformed.

XxX

AN: This is kinda corny but there's a song that I think goes really well with this story. "Love the Way You Lie" (Perfect title even) by Eminem. So many of the lyrics work so well with the story it's kinda scary. Also, "Quiet" by This Will Destroy You is a good instrumental piece that works will with the angsty chapters.

Jnotjane: I hope this chapter explained exactly why she acted the way she did. She did say that she would consent to be his wife in a 'what if' scenario but like the chapter harps on, she thought he was tricking her at first. Not only is there a legit way for the relationship to continue but now the relationship itself has become something more than just a deal between the two.
LittleNikki: I guess she's not as enamored with him as wel are, lol. And she said what she did out of anger at the thought of being tricked and the despair of what she thought this would make her. It did morph into more than just mindless sex but in her mind, she was always in the position of being his whore but now, with his new promise, she can finally kick that title that she desperately didn't want to follow her for the rest of her life. I wonder if our ideas are the same concerning his plan for bringing her back?
KeeperoftheNine: I try to churn them out. I love writing it but I also look forward to ending as well… kinda odd but true. Thank you! I don't know why I like writing angst so much, I wouldn't want it in my real life so I don't know why I like putting it in my story so much. We shall see.