Inspirational song: Thank You – Simple Plan (Disclaimer: I obviously do not own this.)
One Moon Later
Hollypetal exited the warrior's den, shaking the cramps from her legs. Flashing a smile at Spiderleg, who was on guard duty, she turned and padded towards the fresh-kill pile lazily.
The only other cats that were awake were Brambleclaw, Frostpaw and Briarlight. Brambleclaw was watching the camp, looking relaxed. Frostpaw was splayed out in a small splash of light from the oncoming dawn, tail flicking as he watched a grasshopper jump by him. Briarlight was doing her scheduled exercises, watching Spiderleg mischievously.
Hollypetal plucked a sparrow off the top of the diminishing fresh-kill pile and walked over to Frostpaw, plopping beside him with a loud huff.
"Good morning," he mewed, not taking his eyes off the grasshopper. "That's a yummy looking breakfast."
"The sparrow or grasshopper?"
He jolted forward, one paw smacking into the grasshopper, sending it flying a small distance. He jumped at it again, pinning it beneath both of his front paws. Staring down excitedly at them, tail swishing with uncontainable excitement, he lifted one paw and the grasshopper jumped quickly, only to be brought back down once more.
"You're such a kit," she mewed to him as he padded back over, leaving the poor bug to sort itself out.
"It was calling out to me," he replied simply, watching it closely as it hopped out of sight.
"Grasshoppers can't talk—don't be ridiculous."
"I meant the kit in me. It was calling out, saying play, play, play!"
"Well, you succeeded. Is your inner kit proud?"
"Oh yes. Ooh, sparrow!" He snagged his claw in her half eaten bird, dragging it closer to him and taking a large bite out of it.
"Hey!" she yelped in protest. "That's mine!"
He blinked at her, chewing slowly before what she said seemed to click. "Really? I could have sworn I grabbed something..." He took another bite, grinning when she scowled.
"You grabbed the grasshopper."
He hummed, looking absentmindedly past her, taking another bite out of her sparrow. "Hey"—he blinked out of his daze, looking at her again—"did you want to go on a patrol together?"
She tilted her head, feeling somewhat awkward. "Just the two of us?"
He shook his head and she couldn't help but feel relieved. "I was going to invite Rainpaw too, if that was alright." He got to his paws and started towards the apprentices den.
"Um, yeah, sure," she murmured, the awkward feeling immediately coming back. It wasn't that she had a problem with Rainpaw—it was that she didn't have a problem with Rainpaw. In fact, lately she had been really enjoying his company.
Ew.
The silence had been irking, and she was almost always with Rainpaw when she wasn't busy. Him or Molenose, who had been becoming increasingly protective of her and determined to keep them away from each other.
To put it lightly, it had been annoying.
Speak of the devil, she thought crossly as Molenose waltzed out of the warrior's den. Almost instantly, his eyes were drawn to her and he smiled. She flicked her tail in response, and just as he started walking towards her, Frostpaw and Rainpaw padded out of the apprentices den, intercepting him.
There was a long pause. Molenose glared at Rainpaw. Frostpaw looked at his paws. Rainpaw twitched his tail.
Then, without a word, Rainpaw turned toward her and walked over. "Hey," he greeted breezily. "Frostpaw said we were going to go out hunting with you?"
She sat up quickly and nodded. "Uh, yeah!"
Frostpaw joined them, still looking down, Molenose a few steps behind.
"You're going out hunting?" he asked. "Do you want me to come?"
No, not really. "Uh—"
"That's a great idea," Brambleclaw interrupted. "The more of you, the more food for the clan. Plus, just because you two are almost warriors," he said to Frostpaw and Rainpaw, "doesn't mean you are yet."
Molenose looked satisfied; Frostpaw and Rainpaw looked annoyed. She wasn't quite sure how to feel about what was about to happen.
"Well, it should be fun," she offered meekly. "Going out hunting with three of my friends."
"Friends forever," Frostpaw sang. "Right, Molenose?" He looked right at Molenose in a daring way, as if saying Only friends, right?
She blinked. Was Frostpaw trying to set her and Rainpaw up?
Ew ew ew.
"Forever is a long time," Molenose said awkwardly as they started out of camp.
Frostpaw leapt onto the words, looking triumphant. "So you don't want to be friends with her forever? That's too bad. I mean, we're clan mates and you two do get along."
Molenose scowled. Frostpaw looked smug. Rainpaw looked faintly amused.
"No, what I meant was"—he flicked his eyes to her momentarily, and she pretended to be interested in a passing cloud—"that maybe one day we wont be just friends."
"Did you hear that, Hollypetal?" Frostpaw all but screamed. "Molenose wants to mate with you!"
Normally such a comment would make her embarrassed beyond belief, but that absolute bluntness of it all made her trip over her own paws and burst into fits of giggles. "Frostpaw," she sputtered, "you're so gross!"
Molenose was slumped in embarrassment, and when the word gross left her mouth, hurt flashed across his gaze, but she was still laughing too hard to apologize.
Rainpaw was grinning wildly and Frostpaw looked relieved to have finally affected something.
"You mean you don't like Molenose, Hollypetal?" Frostpaw continued.
Hollypetal tilted her head, feigning ignorance. "He's a good friend."
Frostpaw looked at Rainpaw. "Oh, alright. How about you two go ahead—I wanted to talk with Molenose."
Molenose looked like he was about to protest, but Rainpaw was already shrugging. "Sure, I guess." He looked somewhat puzzled, but started walking ahead, Hollypetal following after a moments hesitation.
"What," she hissed under her breath to him when they were far enough away that Molenose wouldn't overhear, "is your brother doing?"
"I don't know," he meowed, looking beyond amused. "But I like it."
"It's certainly amusing," she agreed ruefully. "But he's embarrassing Molenose and me!"
"Do you like Molenose?" he asked abruptly, looking straight ahead.
She blinked, surprised. "No. What I said back there is true—he's a good friend, but I don't... I mean I haven't... I haven't really even considered getting a mate before."
"If he asked you to be his mate, what would you say?"
"...I don't know. I'd probably ask to think about it."
"Do you think you'd be open to having a relationship with him?"
She stopped abruptly, frowning. "Rainpaw, is my love life any of your business?" she snapped harshly, embarrassment prickling her fur.
He stopped too, scowling. "So you would be," he accused.
She thought carefully before replying. "Molenose is really nice and we get along great. If I opened my mind to it, I think I could probably like him, yes. But right now, a relationship with him wouldn't happen. He is my friend, and that's all I want from him. Why do you care, anyway?"
"I don't," he denied, almost too quickly. "I'm just bored—and I like gossip."
"Well then talk to Cherryfall," she snapped, beyond annoyed. "She and the queens are filled with useless words."
She turned and continued walking, trying to control her emotions, wishing Hollyleaf was there to give her advice, or even mock her. Anything was better than the silence that was louder than anything.
"Hey, stupid, don't you know better than to think of her by now?"
She jumped violently, her mind finally connecting with the fact that her paws had, once more, lead her to the ShadowClan border, where Rockfur was sitting calmly.
"Rockfur!" she exclaimed delightedly, jolting forward until she was just in front of him.
"The patrol you're with is filled with annoyed cats," he meowed, sounding amused. "Molenose, Rainpaw and Frostpaw, right?"
She nodded.
"Well aren't you quite popular with the tomcats?" he teased, shifting closer to her. "I haven't seen you for awhile. How is everything?"
"Quiet," burst out of her mouth and she dug her claws into the wet earth irritably.
"Even with them around?"
She slapped the cheeky look off his face affectionately. "How are you and Roseleaf?"
He shrugged. "Same old, same old." He paused thoughtfully. "Actually she's pretty sad about losing Mom again, but…"
"Sorry," Hollypetal mewed, guilt washing over her.
"Don't be," he waved off. "It's not your fault."
Completely.
"Well—"
"Oh StarClan, not him again," Rainpaw's exasperated voice meowed behind her as he caught up.
She held back her defensive comments as Frostpaw and Molenose arrived. Frostpaw sent Rockfur an awkward glance, and Molenose was quick to check that he was on the ShadowClan side of the border.
"This is supposed to be a hunting patrol, not a casual meet-up," Molenose said commandingly, voice harsher than usual. Chances were that that was Frostpaw's fault.
Still, her defense's continued to rise as Molenose glanced disgustedly at Rockfur. "Lay off," she snapped, earning her a surprised look. "Rockfur is my best friend, ShadowClan or not." She felt her fur lift slightly. "If you haven't forgotten already, I'm part ShadowClan."
"Hollyleaf was part ShadowClan," he spat back, apparently in a worse mood than she had first realized. "She was ThunderClan, WindClan and ShadowClan. Unlike her, you have clean, ThunderClan blood."
Her claws shot out again, sinking into the ground threateningly. Rockfur's face was rock-hard with anger. Frostpaw looked like he wanted to make a run for it. Rainpaw was giving Molenose a look of pure shock.
It was harder to restrain her emotions without Hollyleaf there to tell her to back down. Attacking a clan mate is against the warrior code.
That rule apparently didn't go through Rainpaw's mind, because before she could begin to tell Molenose off, Rainpaw's claws were raking his cheek harshly.
Molenose hissed loudly, turning and glaring threateningly at Rainpaw. Rainpaw didn't back down, keeping his burning amber eyes steady as he glared straight back at Molenose.
There was a long moment before realization crossed Molenose's face, quickly followed by mortification. "Hollypetal—I—I didn't—"
"If you had any hope of actually becoming my mate," she started icily, "It's gone now."
His expression immediately turned to one of hurt. "No—Hollypetal, please don't say that—"
"Get away from me," she spat, looking away from him.
There was another pause as Molenose debated whether he would stay or go. The latter lost. "Hollypetal, please—"
"Are you deaf?" Rockfur snarled, interrupting Molenose. "She said to get away from her." She heard his claws scrape against the ground furiously. "So go before I make you."
"I…" He broke off, and a second later she could hear his paw-steps leading him away.
"What a piece of fox-dung," Rockfur growled after another tense pause.
"He's usually nicer than that," Frostpaw defended awkwardly.
"Don't," Rainpaw warned. "Don't try to defend him after what he just said."
"Uh," Frostpaw meowed.
"Are you okay?" Rockfur asked, turning back to her. He looked like he was debating chasing Molenose down and beating him. Or maybe that was just what she was debating.
"I'll be fine," she replied. "I just wasn't expecting something like that from him."
He flicked his tail awkwardly, and cleared his throat. "Well… how about you come over?" he invited. "You seem like you need a break, and Roseleaf would love to see you."
Sure, she was allowed over according to Blackstar, but she had never taken the offer up. She had been avoiding social outings since Hollyleaf had left. She wasn't even sure how to hold a conversation anymore.
"The invitation was for you, Hollypetal. You're allowed to be on our territory—but if you try to hunt I'll chase you off."
She almost smiled. "I…I could use a break," she admitted, stepping over the borderline. She looked back at Rainpaw and Frostpaw over it, and felt sad. This is how it is, isn't it? she thought miserably. There's always going to be a barrier between two of my closest friends and I. They'll never understand what it's like to be like this.
Then Rainpaw stepped over the border and the mental imagery was shattered.
"Uh," Frostpaw said again.
"I'm going too," Rainpaw stated, glancing quickly at Frostpaw. "You can tell Firestar where we are, can't you? And maybe catch something on the way back to camp so Brambleclaw doesn't get mad."
"Uh," Frostpaw continued.
Rockfur narrowed his eyes at Rainpaw. "Try to hunt here and I'll claw you."
Rainpaw rolled his eyes.
"Is he allowed to come?" Hollypetal asked dumbly.
Rockfur looked up thoughtfully. "It makes sense that there would be more than one of you. Coming over by yourself is a little reckless, isn't it? Besides, he'll probably make you more comfortable."
Rainpaw make her comfortable. Yeah, right.
Rockfur looked at Frostpaw. "Well, go on then. Shoo."
"Uh?" he said again, but turned and started away.
Rockfur flicked his tail. "Come on, then. We don't have all day."
The smell of ShadowClan still made Hollypetal uncomfortable. Rainpaw didn't look particularly thrilled either, though he had just invited himself, so he would have to get over that. Only Rockfur seemed comfortable walking over the damp ground, each step confident and proud. He was ShadowClan through-and-through.
Rainpaw shook his paws every fox length, signalling he was not enjoying the trek through the marsh.
Hollypetal herself was feeling rather indifferent. It felt familiar, the pine under paw, the damp earth sinking under her weight, Rockfur's scent washing over her. It made her feel more at home than she had felt in a long time. But the smell was enough to drive even the sanest of cats' crazy. How Hollyleaf had ever gotten used to it after spending her life in ThunderClan, she would never understand.
"The camps right up ahead," Rockfur meowed, filling the silence, probably for Rainpaw's benefit.
She bobbed her head at him, picking up her pace. She remembered exactly where it was. It wasn't exactly forgettable after her near-death experience.
Behind her, Rainpaw let out a small uncomfortable growl.
"I didn't invite you," Rockfur meowed.
She didn't need to turn around to know he was bristling. "I know that."
Rockfur just shook his head, sending Hollypetal an irritated look. Ah, so Rainpaw was mentally blaming Rockfur. How she had become such good friends with such a thickhead she would never know.
When they walked through the entrance to ShadowClan's camp, heads jerked up at the scent of ThunderClan, and threats were immediately forming on curled lips. When the few cats that loitered the area realized Rockfur was escorting her and Rainpaw, they relaxed, though not completely. Hollyleaf's disappearance was no secret, and Hollypetal was just another ThunderClan warrior to them. Her lost credibility stung her harder than she thought it would have.
"Ignore them," Rockfur said as one warrior darted off to the leaders den. He led them to a stump that sat at the side of the camp, tail tip twitching. "Remember, Blackstar gave you permission to be here. Rainpaw, not so much, but he probably won't mind."
Rainpaw shot him a glare but, thankfully, remained quiet.
"I'm going to check the warriors den for Roseleaf. I'll be right back." Without waiting for her to protest—because they both knew she would—he bounded away.
Hollypetal sighed, settling between the roots of the trunk, trying to make herself invisible. Rainpaw, also sighing, sat beside her, looking around carelessly.
The cats of ShadowClan had all turned back to their own business, apparently finding no threat in the two of them. The only one still watching her was Redwillow, who flicked his tail in greeting before getting to his paws.
Before he could reach them, Rockfur padded back out of the warrior's den, alone. He and Redwillow reached them at the same time, glancing at each other easily.
Redwillow leapt onto the stump and looked down at her. "Hi, Hollypetal, I thought that was you," he greeted, casually sprawling over the stump. "What brings you to ShadowClan today? Did you finally realize that the rumours are true and that it is the best of all clans?"
That coaxed a small smile out of her. "No, I still prefer ThunderClan." He scoffed. "But ShadowClan would definitely be my second choice."
He nodded, casting a look at Rainpaw. "And who is this? Aren't you a little too young to have a mate?"
She didn't bother correcting him, figuring that Rainpaw would get in his face about it. Instead, there was a long, semi-awkward pause, before she and Rainpaw both turned to glare at each other.
"Why didn't you deny it?" he demanded before she could snap the same thing at him.
"I thought you were going to!" she spat back, bristling defensively.
"Well, I thought you were going to!" he huffed. "So you should have!"
"What kind of logic it that?!"
"You were the one who was talking about getting together with Molenose!"
"No I wasn't! That was you and Frostpaw meddling!"
"Well you didn't deny it!"
She rolled her eyes exasperatedly and turned her head away from him pointedly, only to see Redwillow and Rockfur both shaking with restrained laughter. "Oh, shut up!"
Redwillow swallowed back his laughter and cleared his throat. "Well, I can see I've caused enough trouble for the time being." He backed off the stump, looking between the ThunderClan duo pleasantly. "I can tell you two will have beautiful, beautiful kits. Bye!"
Rockfur shook his head at Redwillow as he retreated, Rainpaw growling loudly after him.
"Sorry," Rockfur meowed after a few moments. "We're trying to teach him manners, really."
Rainpaw turned away from her and sat facing the other way, making Rockfur send him yet another irate look. He was probably regretting letting Rainpaw come by now. He directed his attention to her when he finished with the scathing look that had gone ignored. "What was that back at the border anyway? I've never seen such hostility from that guy."
"Guess he wasn't as okay with everything as previously thought."
"No," Rainpaw said, keeping his eyes trained away from her. "It's because you've been acting all stupid since Hollyleaf left."
"Don't call me stupid," she grumbled, ignoring the point he'd made. She had been acting different since Hollyleaf left, but she hadn't been acting stupid.
"Sad," he corrected himself, sounding angry. "You've gotten a lot sadder, and he hates Hollyleaf for leaving you alone because it makes you sad. He lashed out because he's mad at himself because he can't help and the only other cat he can blame is her."
She looked away from them. "It doesn't excuse what he said."
"I didn't say it did," he snapped, bristling again. "For StarClan's sake, it's like everything I say to you just goes right over your head!"
"What do you know?" she snarled back, and then they were both bristling and facing separate directions.
Rockfur shifted awkwardly and cleared his throat, looking around ShadowClan's camp. "Hey, Raccoonpaw!" he called abruptly, prompting her to look at him again. He was staring at a grey and black tabby that was halfway to the camp entrance. He still had one paw in the air as he looked over his shoulder at Rockfur nervously. Rockfur flicked his tail and Raccoonpaw darted over.
"Um, yes, Rockfur?" he asked, tail swishing.
"Do you know where Roseleaf is?" Rockfur replied, looking past Racconpaw as a hunting patrol arrived. Roseleaf wasn't among them.
Raccoonpaw glanced at the patrol and shook his head. "No, I haven't seen her for awhile."
"Really? I recall you two going out together early this morning." Rockfur glared down at Raccoonpaw, expression unimpressed.
"Uh, well, yes," Raccoonpaw said quickly. "We did go out this morning! But we both came back. I went out to patrol the RiverClan border, and she wasn't here when I got back, so, I don't know where she is, you see . . ."
"Is that so?" Rockfur murmured, looking at the camp entrance thoughtfully.
Raccoonpaw's paws scuffed the earth. "Do you want me to go look for her?"
He looked back down at him. "No, it's fine. If you see her, though, tell her I was looking for her."
Raccoonpaw's shoulders relaxed. "Alright. I'll see you later then." Rockfur nodded and Raccoonpaw darted away.
Hollypetal cocked her head at him. "Do you enjoy scaring apprentices?"
His gaze switched back to her. "Raccoonpaw is easy to scare."
"Where do you think Roseleaf is?"
He shrugged.
"Is she okay? You mentioned she's upset about Hollyleaf."
"Everyone's upset about Hollyleaf."
"Well, yes, but she wasn't everyone's mother."
He looked into the sky. "I think she'll recover from this. Hollyleaf was never really back, you know." He looked back towards the entrance wistfully. "I think Raccoonpaw is good for her," he admitted. "He makes her happy. She needs that. She needs him."
"Oh," she meowed, not quite sure how to respond. "That must be hard. Needing someone."
"I imagine it'd be harder not to," he responded. He was staring at her bemusedly, and she couldn't figure out why. "Well," he continued after a moment, "Okay then. Do you want to, ah, see Blackstar?"
"Not particularly." Whoever had went to inform him of her arrival had come out seconds earlier, ears flat against their head.
Rockfur twitched his ears uncomfortably. He probably wanted Roseleaf here to take over the conversation. He was far from a good conversationalist (to which he narrowed his eyes at her.)
The silence stretched on, until even Rainpaw had turned back and was looking between the two of them, not appearing to know how to continue the conversation.
"Oh," Rockfur said when Rainpaw's tail starting twitching awkwardly. "There she is."
Moments later, Roseleaf padded into the camp, two mice hanging from her mouth. She dropped them off at the fresh kill pile and immediately started for them. She was glaring at Rockfur and he sighed.
"Can you not freak out Raccoonpaw?" she snapped at Rockfur. "I saw him on my way back - I know it was you that scared him!" She stopped her snarling to look at Hollypetal. "Hello, by the way."
Rockfur rolled his eyes. "I wasn't scaring him on purpose. I only asked if he knew where you were!"
"Well maybe if you didn't glare at him all the time, he wouldn't be scared of you!" she yowled. A few cats glanced over, but upon seeing it was just the siblings, turned away, heads shaking.
"It's not my fault he's a wimp," Rockfur meowed in a tone that was almost a whine.
Roseleaf bristled. "He isn't a wimp!"
"Hi, Roseleaf," Hollypetal cut in.
"Hi," she said again. "Why are toms so stupid?"
"A question for the ages."
"Oh, you brought a friend." She looked Rainpaw up and down with squinted eyes. "Rainpaw, right? Or have you gotten your warrior name yet?"
Rainpaw swished his tail. "No, I'm still a 'paw."
Roseleaf nodded. "It sucks when you're right on the edge of changing. You just keep waiting for the announcement." She shook her head sadly. "Every time there's a meeting and you don't become a warrior you just die a little inside."
"Yeah," Rainpaw said dryly, "Thanks. I got it."
Roseleaf smiled apologetically. "Oh, so why are you two here? Everything's alright, I hope?"
"Everything is fine," Rockfur answered, looking a lot calmer now that he wasn't being scolded. "Hollypetal was just taking up the offer to come and visit."
"Oh. Well, that's nice of you." She glanced at Blackstar's den. "Blackstar knows, though, right?"
"Yes, Smokefoot told him."
"Alright. Wouldn't want you here without Blackstar knowing. No offence," she added hastily. "It's just—different clans and everything."
"It's fine. Your clan is ShadowClan. It comes before friends from other clans." It was a rule that you learned before you even became an apprentice, as were most rules.
One of those rules was to not kill. Hollypetal found herself thinking of that rule a lot.
"Yeah," Roseleaf said, still looking apologetic. "It's not that I don't trust you—I just have a leader, so, you know..."
"It really is fine."
Rockfur cuffed his sister over the head. "It's fine, she said. So you can calm down."
"Don't talk to me," Roseleaf said, apparently still annoyed about Raccoonpaw.
"So, tell me about him—Raccoonpaw, I mean," Hollypetal said before they could start arguing again.
Roseleaf narrowed her eyes at Rockfur for a few seconds before turning to Hollypetal excitedly. "He's so nice, right?" she gushed. Hollypetal nodded quickly, though she wasn't sure she was qualified to give her opinion on someone she hadn't talked to. "He used to be like my best friend when we were apprentices, but lately I think it's been getting a lot more serious between us, and I mean, I'd like a mate at some point, so he seems like a good choice, right? I mean, we already get along so well and he won't be an apprentice much longer, just a moon or two. But we haven't really talked about it either, so I'm not sure he likes me, and I mean Rockfur scares the fur off of him."
Hollypetal looked at Rockfur. "Stop that," she said.
He huffed and fluffed out his fur and turned away moodily. "Who are you to tell me to shove off? You have toms fighting over you!"
"I have toms fighting around me like idiots," she corrected. "Rainpaw had good reason so smack Molenose."
Roseleaf looked startled. "They're literally fighting over you?" she asked. "I thought Rockfur meant, like, arguing."
"No, unfortunately everyone I know is an idiot. Beside's you," she added hastily. "All the toms I know are idiots."
Roseleaf nodded. "Oh, but why did Rainpaw hit Molenose? That's against the warrior code."
"Yeah, that's why I wasn't the one to do it," she replied pleasantly. "Molenose was being extremely rude about my heritage." She paused and blinked and turned to Rainpaw. "Thanks, by the way."
Now Rainpaw looked startled. "For what? Hitting Molenose?"
"Yes."
"Oh. You're, uh, welcome?"
She nodded contentedly at his confused expression before turning back to Roseleaf. "If Raccoonpaw doesn't confess, why don't you?"
"Me?" Hollypetal had never heard such an appalled tone before. "I—I can't do that! He's still an apprentice! I'm not even sure he does like me! Are you crazy?!"
"Quite possibly."
"Oh. Uh—"
"So what if he's an apprentice?" she interrupted. "If you like him, tell him! If he doesn't like you back, then the quicker you can move on."
Roseleaf glanced around. "Well, if I confess, then so do you!"
"Who would I confess to?"
"I don't know! You have toms fighting over you and you don't even want either of them? Rude."
"They aren't fighting over me."
Roseleaf looked at Rainpaw for a long few moments, to which he glared back at her. "You don't even like Rainpaw?" she asked when she looked back at Hollypetal. "I mean, you let him come here with you. You must be close."
"That doesn't mean mates. Besides, he's an—mouse dung!"
Roseleaf smirked. "Changes a bit when they're apprentices, doesn't it?"
"But I don't like Rainpaw!"
"Thanks," Rainpaw muttered offendedly.
"You know that's not what I meant."
"Don't you want kits some day? A family?" Roseleaf continued.
"They'd probably die," she said before she could stop herself. Like it was fair of her to say that when Roseleaf and Rockfur had lost both their parents before they were even apprentices. She herself had only lost her sister and Hollyleaf. Sure, she wasn't able to be close to the rest of her family, but they were still alive.
Roseleaf eyes had glazed over while Hollypetal was scolding herself.
"Oh, shut up," Rockfur meowed before anyone else could comment. "Death is inevitable. There's no point in complaining, or acting like you don't care. You're always going to care."
Roseleaf abruptly got to her feet. "You know what, though? You're right!" She looked Hollypetal in the eyes, which was rather unnerving. She'd been looking at her as a whole before, and now Roseleaf was suddenly very determined to meet her eyes. "I'm going to go tell Raccoonpaw how I feel. Who knows when he could die?"
Without so much as a goodbye, Roseleaf was darting out of the camp in search of Raccoonpaw.
Rockfur immediately started glaring at Hollypetal. "Now look what you've done!" he accused. "My sister is going to go confess! I could've prevented Raccoonpaw from confessing to her, but no one can stop her from doing what she wants!"
"But you said you thought they were good for each other!"
"But she's my sister!"
"Are you this protective of Dawnpaw?" Hollypetal whispered to Rainpaw.
He shook his head quickly.
Rockfur huffed loudly. "Me and him aren't the same." He paused for a long moment before continuing with "Imagine if Petalpaw had been interested in a cat."
Rainpaw looked away so fast he'd need to be treated for whiplash.
Hollypetal felt her eyes widen in horror.
Rockfur cocked his head at her.
"No way!" she meowed loudly. "That's my sister! Mine!"
The toms were both shaking their heads; Rainpaw with astonishment, and Rockfur with amusement.
She looked at Rainpaw again. "You'd be completely fine with Dawnpaw getting a mate?"
He nodded, eyes narrowing in annoyance. "It's not my business if she gets a mate."
"But we're both closer to our sisters," Rockfur said. "And have a natural reaction to defend them. So it's different with us." His lips curled into a snarl, surprisingly aimed at her. "If he hurts her I will skin you."
"But if he's going to hurt her, he would have at some point anyway," she argued. "I'm just quickening the process. Isn't that good? Besides, then you can stop being constantly trying to scare him away. He's either not a threat to her or her mate."
"A mate is a threat," he grumbled.
She blinked and then thought of Hollyleaf's stories about Ashfur. Ashfur, who'd loved Squirrelflight. Ashfur, who'd been rejected because she didn't love him. Ashfur, who tried to kill her and her family in retaliation to her rejection. Ashfur, who Hollyleaf had killed to protect her family.
If anything, Roseleaf seemed like the more dangerous of the two, since she was the one facing rejection. Hollypetal was pretty sure she was above that, and was unsure on Rockfur's point of view.
"Are you in love with your sister?" she finally asked.
Rainpaw choked.
Rockfur looked more unimpressed than ever. "You just won't understand, I guess. Just think of all the horrible things that could happen. What if she had kits, and died during child birth? What if her feelings changed later, and she tried to leave him, and he attacked her?" His tail lashed.
She snorted. "Isn't he too scared of you to even think about hurting her?"
He looked suddenly pleased. "Do you think so?"
She shook her head at him in disbelief. "You're the worst."
"If he doesn't hurt her, then I'm fine with that." His expression darkened abruptly. "She just told him."
Rainpaw looked confusedly between them.
"Oh, Rockfur can read minds," Hollypetal explained briefly.
Rockfur glared at her.
Rainpaw stared blankly at her before realization set into his face and he turned to Rockfur, looking furious.
Rockfur stood quickly. "Time for you to leave," he said, tail swishing.
"They're together?" she asked, hopping from paw-to-paw anxiously.
He hissed and started out of ShadowClan's camp. She followed happily and Rainpaw sighed as he caught up.
"I can't believe you set my sister up," Rockfur grumbled.
"Good for her," Hollypetal said in her most agreeable voice.
Rockfur glared at her. "You're perfectly okay with—this?" He looked appalled and disgusted. "She's your sister too."
She almost stopped walking, instead tripped over herself. Rockfur had said it. Said the thought that had drifted through her mind constantly. Admitted that he saw her as a littermate.
She blinked and swallowed back her emotion. He understood. He understood that Hollyleaf was a mother to her too.
Rainpaw was shaking his head again, but not at the family thing. He was just looking at Rockfur exasperatedly. "You're really this protective of your sister?"
He hadn't even blinked at Rockfur calling her family, like he'd already known that they were. He didn't necessarily like Rockfur, but he was completely accepting of her being his family, of him being her family. The words had went right through him, that she was part ShadowClan, and he hadn't even blinked.
Molenose's words rung through her mind. That she was of clean blood, but she wasn't, she wasn't. Her grandfather was of WindClan, her great grandfather was a former kittypet, she had siblings in ShadowClan.
Molenose didn't even have 'clean' blood. Berrynose had been born in a barn.
She was suddenly scared of him. Scared that he had been to the Dark Forest, scared that he was going to hurt someone that had mixed blood, scared that she'd end up fighting him if it came down to it.
She didn't want to fight anymore and she'd never actually been in a battle with her clan at her side. If she thought hard enough she could still remember the feeling of Crowfrost's neck snapping in her—Hollyleaf's?—jaws. She felt it sometimes when she ate prey; she would hear the crunch and lose her appetite. She avoided eating sometimes when her head hurt.
Weariness fell over her as they reached the border. Rockfur was watching her out of the corner of his eye, obviously having been listening to her thoughts.
Rainpaw hopped over the scent line, relief lighting his features. "I smell mouse," he mewed, and then disappeared into the deep grass.
"I'll congratulate Roseleaf for you," Rockfur said gruffly. He still didn't look completely happy, but he didn't look as irritated. Maybe the earlier irritation was actually just his fur being brushed the wrong way because of Rainpaw's presence, which was understandable enough.
"If he's good for her, then let them be," she meowed, swishing her tail.
He huffed and was quiet for a few moments. "Molenose doesn't go to the Dark Forest," he finally meowed. "He's never thought about it. I don't know what came over him earlier. He was just angry, so try to forgive him."
"Yeah," she agreed hesitantly. "Let me sit on it for awhile."
He nodded and looked past her, to where Rainpaw had disappeared. "He was right, you know," he continued. "About you being sadder, and about you not hearing what he's saying." He tipped his head. "Though it seems that you might have finally heard him earlier."
"I don't ignore him," she snapped.
"You missed him becoming an apprentice," he fired back immediately. "You were in camp when he was apprenticed. He waited for you to notice, and you didn't."
Her paws felt weak. She'd been in camp and she'd missed it? How was that possible? How could she have missed it when Firestar would have called the clan for a meeting? When the clan gathered, when the clan cheered, when Rainpaw waited for her to see him?
"That's impossible," she mewed, voice trembling. "I must have been training."
There was a hardness to Rockfur's gaze that made her feel cold. "No," he said, "You were there. I met him, remember? He was thinking of you."
And they'd joked about it. They'd made fun of Rainpaw's being insecure about her loyalties, about Rockfur's interest in her. It had seemed so silly then, but her paws were trembling beneath her.
"You're not a bad cat, Hollypetal," he murmured. "But you're not seeing what's right in front of you." He straightened suddenly and looked uncomfortable. "He's been really patient with you, so try to be more patient with him, okay?"
She nodded, but found that breathing was hard. When had she become so blind to Rainpaw, who'd been one of her best friends since they were kits playing together in the nursery? She couldn't even remember who Frostpaw's mentor was. When was the last time she'd spoken to Dawnpaw? She had never even tried to comfort her mother after Petalpaw had died. Cinderheart had never gotten any 'last words' with Petalpaw. What about Lionblaze? Had she ever tried to explain to him why she'd went to Jayfeather instead of him?
Had she ever thanked Ivypool for protecting her at the Dark Forest? Had she ever even tried to apologize to Cherryfall? To Sparrowflight?
Why hadn't she just told everyone that Hollyleaf was with her in the first place? She'd caused so much pain, so much anger and hatred. If she had spoken earlier, told someone that Crowfrost was the murder, would anyone have believed her? Would the cats he'd killed after Hollyleaf still be alive?
Had she ever thanked Rainpaw for cheering for her at her warriors ceremony? Had she ever thanked Rockfur and Roseleaf for being her family when she couldn't face her own?
Her paws felt like lead.
Rainpaw's voice was a welcome intrusion to her clouded mind. "Hey, let's hunt before we go back to camp." She blinked at him as he dropped a mouse at her feet. "Brambleclaw won't have a reason to complain then, you know?" He grinned smugly. "We were just a really long hunting patrol that didn't catch much."
"Sure," she said blankly. He squinted at her. "I mean, yeah, okay." She opened her mouth to scent the air. Grass, ThunderClan, ShadowClan, Rainpaw, Rainpaw's mouse. The faint smell of squirrel lingered someone nearby. "I'll go search for that squirrel." She turned quickly and started away.
"At least walk quietly," Rainpaw hissed to himself.
She lightened her steps.
Hollypetal waited at their make-do fresh-kill pile. She'd caught her squirrel and Rainpaw's mouse was sitting with it, half buried. She just didn't know when Rainpaw would be back, which was completely her fault, since she hadn't bothered to ask how much they should catch.
Maybe she should have been the one to say how much to catch—she was the warrior after all.
It was all very weird. Her mind felt fuzzy, like she'd slept too long.
"I'll carry the mice," Rainpaw said and she winced. He'd arrived and of course she hadn't noticed. He dropped another mouse down next to the one he'd caught earlier. "That should be enough to convince Brambleclaw to forgive us." He glanced at her. "Are you listening?"
She jerked upright. "Of course." Her paws started shaking again.
He looked satisfied. "Good. You can carry your squirrel then." He looked at her again. "Are you okay? You look spooked."
"Am I self centred?" she blurted before she could stop herself.
He looked startled. "Self centred?" When she nodded he snorted. "Hardly."
Relief made her shoulders droop.
"Isn't it the complete opposite?" he asked, expression turning puzzled. "Don't you think too much about others, and then get too anxious to do anything?"
Her paws tingled.
He shook his head. "I mean, you spend way too much time in your own head."
She nodded quickly at his words, urging him to continue.
"It's not like your selfish. You just grew up with your head talking back to you, so you didn't have to talk to others about things. It must be weird with that gone."
She stared at him and he stared back.
He flicked his tail and shook his head with a sigh. "Let's go back to camp." He scooped up his mice and waited for her to pick up her squirrel.
She hesitated for only a second before whispering, "Thank you."
He looked confused but simply flicked his tail towards her squirrel.
She picked it up and they headed back to camp together.
Don't know when the next chapter will be up. This one is just a little under eleven pages long! I'm pretty pleased with that. Also, before the next—and final—book is posted, I want to write a chapter-by-chapter plot thing. Have you ever done one of those? They're super helpful. I dunno. I want to write more. A lot more. I don't know. I think I know what I want to do with the next book.
Thanks for your support, guys, it really means a lot.