Warning: This chapter contains coarse humour.

Storming the Warehouse

Uniform, Neil's team and CO19 formed a convoy as they drove en masse to the warehouse. Neil's car led the charge, and with him in it were Grace, Stevie and Jo.

"How's Max getting himself abducted as well, eh?" Stevie said to Jo, who sat with her in the back seat.

"It must be love," Jo replied, then she spun her head as a van zoomed past them. "Was that our white van?" she asked.

"I saw it coming and checked the plates, and no, it wasn't," responded Grace. "But I'll call it in anyway, just in case. I got the number of the car behind it too. They seemed to be moving at the same pace." Grace went to speak into the radio.

"Guv," she said once the vehicles had been identified. "Both vehicles are registered to Jenson's company. What should we do?"

"Right, get on to the Super and see what he says. Tell him I think we should continue to where we're going and he can assign a second team to take care of the van."

"Yes Guv." The ever-efficient Grace was on to it.

When they arrived at the warehouse it certainly appeared completely deserted. CO19 did their search, and predictably announced it all clear. They indicated that there were signs of the recent habitation of one of the old cool rooms. Grace lagged behind to sort out the business with the departing van while the rest of Neil's team made their way down to Max and Millie's cell. They were accompanied by Eddie and his team, who had arrived there shortly after.

Eddie was instructing his charges as they entered the room. "OK, we're looking for signs of a struggle, or potentially of violence; blood, bits of teeth, human tissue, that type of thing. Also possible sexual activity, possibly involving a struggle, the usual bodily fluids, condom wrappers, condoms …"

"Sexual activity?" said Stevie. "Is that just because we think there's something going on between Max and Millie?"

"We don't know what means Jenson could have used to try to get information out of them," said Neil, who could see that Eddie, Stevie and Jo were enjoying this line of speculation far too much. "Watching a fellow officer get, um, tortured could very easily break you."

Grace entered the room. "Guv, they've managed to catch the van on camera and uniform and CO19 are on their way to intercept it now."

"Fingers crossed it contains Millie and Max, eh? Safe and sound," replied Neil.

Eddie and his team had bagged up the wine bottle and glasses, plus the pizza boxes and the dust sheets that made up Max and Millie's bed. Eddie shook out on of the dust sheets, and he chuckled to himself when he saw something shiny at his feet. "Um Jo," he called and handed her the wrapper.

Jo sighed and took the wrapper in her gloved hand. "I'd better have a look at it I suppose," and examined it, and a big smile appeared on her face. "Hey Stevie, look at this," she said and handed it to Stevie.

Stevie read the words 'extra large' on the wrapper. "Thank God,' she said, "I was beginning to think Millie had lost her mind for sleeping with Max. Now I know she has a good reason."

The Hostages

The sound of footsteps became louder and louder. Max was trying to deal with sickening feelings of dread that he felt were almost choking him. Here they were in a potentially life and death situation, and he had to rely on Millie's reactions to keep her safe. Having just been treated to a show of her temper, he worried that she might react that strongly to something their kidnappers might do. He didn't believe they would waste any time negotiating with her, they would just shoot. And then there was the 'three little words' issue. She said she had voiced them 'just in case they get killed'. Shouldn't he reciprocate? Why were the words sticking in his throat? How would she feel if she died never having heard them from him?

Millie could see that Max's mind was ticking over, and she wished he would just relax. She was pretty sure of the intensity of his feelings for her, and took it quite literally when he said it was 'just not the type of thing' he said. She looked over at him.

"Stand right beside the door Millie," he said. He was ready to spring like a cat once the door opened.

"And have the door swing open and break my nose you mean?" asked Millie.

Damn, I hadn't thought of that, thought Max.

"I think they're here…" hissed Millie, trying to ensure only Max could hear her.

The door opened and six of Jenson's goons burst in. They didn't waste any time, they simply launched onto Millie and Max and overpowered them.

"You're coming with us," one of them said. "And seeing Mr Jenson was kind enough to feed you, he asked you to come quietly."

Max and Millie were led from the room, having each been assigned two of the thugs. It was of course night time by now, and the building was in darkness, except for the light of the torches in the hands of the other two of Jenson's men. Eventually they reached the outside and were bundled once again into a white van. They moved towards each other and Max put his arms around Millie and breathed a sigh of relief.

The van started to move.

"Did you see much this time? Do you think you've been there before?" Max asked Millie.

"No, Jenson never took me on any joyrides. But I think I know where we are now. This is one of Jenson's properties. I don't think it's used much these days, as is pretty obvious from our little stay there."

"From the material I'd seen on Jenson, it was vaguely familiar to me too. So what do you reckon Jenson has in store for us now, Amelia? And, why 'Amelia' by the way."

"You do realise, Max, that Amelia is actually my name? I thought everyone at work knew that."

Max looked slightly ashamed that once again he hadn't bother to notice something about Mille from work that everybody else knew. "I would have thought Millie was short for Millicent or Mildred."

"Ugh, I wouldn't let anyone know my real name if it were either of those. So, is Max short for anything? Maximilian, Maxim, Maxwell, or Agent 86 perhaps? You know, I have been looking for an excuse this whole time to shake my head at you and say 'Oh, Max!'".

"Mmm, that's a new one," said Max sarcastically. "And my name is my secret. But if I'm Maxwell Smart, you are definitely my 99. It's certainly what I'd rate you as a lover." He moved in closer to her.

"What did I lose a point for?" asked Millie indignantly, feigning rejection.

Max softly stroked her face and then whispered into her ear, "For not actually being in the process of making love to me right now. Not that it's actually possible at the moment, but just bear in mind that's when you're the perfect 100."

Millie pulled herself close to Max and nipped his lip gently with her teeth. "Oh Max," she purred. "I may not be physically making love to you, but mentally? Hammer and tongs! Who knew you had such a silver tongue?"

Max's mouth responded to hers with similar play. "Let me tell you if the circumstances were different right now, my silver tongue would be just about to …Shh! Wait! What's that sound?"

"Police sirens?" said Millie. Nice timing guys! she thought ungratefully.

The van screeched to a halt. The armed unit yelled its caution.

"Maybe I can make good that promise sooner than I thought," said Max smiling at her. Thank God, he thought, They can't get to us from inside the van, the police will beat them to us. We've got through it! She's safe! "Now I think we'd better not be found like this when they open the van."

"Right," said Millie, and pulled herself away.

They could hear the front doors of the van open, and the sound of people being thrown against the side of the van, and then the clicking of handcuffs. Max smiled to himself again, convinced that from here nothing else could go wrong.