When You've Been Hurt, Too

Chapter 21 – The Kiss

By Threshie

AN: I don't own Escaflowne, thank you very much. If I did, I couldn't be a fan of it, just another writer obsessed with their own world (not that I'm not that, too, for my own original fiction, mind you.) Eeek, sorry for the long, long wait since last chapter--and it was a cliffhanger, too! Threshie has been mucly busy with her college work and teaching job lately, eheh. Anyhow, here's Chapter 21, the finality of Dallet's embrace--the Kiss. (Ominous BG music) Despite how it sounds, this chapter is NOT supposed to be taken as shounen ai or yaoi...even though it probably will be by everyone, anyway. ; Except Asrafarel, who is apparently one of the rare few non-yaoi DS fans out there besides myself. ; There's a fine line between malexmale vampirism and malexmale romance...and I'm gonna do my best not to cross that line with this fic.

To the hobgoblin (even though you likely won't read up to this chapter in while, eheh), Pocky is a Japanese snack food consisting of thin biscuit sticks dipped in icing. It comes in various flavors, is crunchy, and only the icing is sweetened, the biscuits are not. Pocky is also copyrighted. I do not own Pocky. Ehehehe.

Sakura Shinguji-Albatou, I've just finished re-reading an old email you sent me back in August of 2004 and am realizing how long I've recognized you by name... (grin) Thank you for sticking with my fics so much--you're a darned good writer yourself, y'know!

To those listed above and everyone else, thanks again for reading--knowing that people enjoy this story really does make me happy. (heart-heart)

Eheh, guess we'd better get on the the actual FIC...read on and enjoy! (wave-a) I'll see you after the Akugis...

"Sit down." Dilandau's voice was weary. Dallet was becoming rather uneasy, himself, but did as bade. His mind kept replaying little bits of information he had heard about the Kiss over the past few days. Nobody remembered why it was called that. It was just the fancy name for the second time a childe drank their Sire's blood. It completed an embrace. Dilandau had had to give every one of his childeren the Kiss in order to complete their embraces. None of them seem too emotionally traumatized, the ex-vagrant told himself uncertainly, So it can't be so horrid that they would never want to see Dilandau-sama again after having such a thing happen to them...unless... A frightening thought occurred to him--a really frightening thought. What if it was a kiss, of the old-fashioned lips-on-lips sort, and the others were simply so obsessed with Dilandau that they had enjoyed it? What if Migel had been the only one who leaned toward liking women, anyway, and so he had tried to resist his embrace even after he was fully a vampire?

Glancing sidelong in Dilandau's direction, the brunette suddenly felt a little...flighty. So it's either go insane or become part of his all-male harem? Is that it? B-being one of his 'toys' would make me go insane! He shivered at the mere thought. What should I do? What should I do...! Run? Stay

"What the hell are you staring at?" Dilandau demanded, shooting him a glare; the sudden words made Dallet jump slightly. Apparently the situation with Viole and the recent fiasco in retrieving him (and undoubtedly losing the dual with Allen) had put the silver-haired vampire into a worse mood than usual.

"N-nothing!" The brunette was dismayed to hear his voice squeak a little. Hurriedly, he changed his staring-into-nowhere default direction from 'Dilandau's nose' to 'the plush red carpet'. Damn, was anything in this keep's decor not red or velvet--or both?

"Whatever. Get over here." Dallet stiffened a bit at these words. He'd thought that he had been subtle in sitting a little further away from Dilandau than he usually would have...apparently not subtle enough for a vampire to miss.

He glanced over at his Sire nervously. "Wh-what for?"

Dilandai rolled his crimson eyes, reaching over and snagging Dallet's wrist. "For the Kiss, you idiot--dammit, aren't you aware that we've already waited too long? Do you want to go insane?" Considering the alternatives, maybe I do! Dallet thought rebelliously, frowning in return.

"Why 'the Kiss'?" The ex-vagrant asked pointedly, scooting a little further away, "Why not 'the Big Drink', or 'the Hug', or 'the End of Your Humanity', or maybe 'the Payback-For-The-Damn-Bloodsucker-Biting-You-First'!"

The air from the sigh nearly whistled as it slid around Dilandau's fangs. "I don't have time for this," he grumbled, scooting over so that he was close without Dallet having to move. Very close.

"H-hey...! Listen, I'm not so sure I want to do this," Dallet frowned at the vampire sidelong.

"The time for choices is long past," Dilandau frowned back, yanking at one of his sleeves. "I don't know what the hell's gotten you so worked up, but this is a very simple process, and the fact that we are running out of time to do it should make clear how soon you'll be going mad if you don't cooperate!"

I'm sure it's real simple, Dallet though darkly, keeping a careful eye on the other inhabitant of the room; if he leaned in toward his face, or tried any funny business whatsoever, the ex-vagrant would not be taken by surprise. Despite this assurance in his mind, he was still taken a bit by surprise when Dilandau sank his fangs rather forcefully into his own wrist. Like I used to cut myself to feed Gatti, he realized, as the silver-haired 'youth' frowned and reached for him again.

"I don't care if you enjoy this," he hissed, pressing his bleeding wrist to the brunette's mouth, "Just drink so that this whole mess will be concluded."

Finding no room in that tone for argument of any kind (and finding the smell and taste of the crimson that teased at his lips intoxicating), Dallet moodily grabbed the offered wrist and sipped the blood that welled from it. It was hard to stay angry when that heavy, coppery flavor was consuming his senses; almost immediately after the first taste of it, he began to feel warm. His mind felt hazy, fuzzy...everything was in a fog, especially whatever Dilandau was saying to himself while all of this was taking place. The warmth fizzed across his skin, a wonderful tickly sensation that flowed like champagne. H was submerged in the bubbly tingling for perhaps a full minute, after which it gently and gradually faded away.

The room felt too still. Perhaps it was his enhanced hearing weirding him out again, but the silence seemed too deep to be possible. Dilandau watched him intently, smiling very slightly. Feeling a bit traitorous for breaking such beautiful stillness, the brunette released his Sire's wrist, asking a bit shakily, "W-was that it...?"

Sweatdropping, Dilandau explained in irritated tones, "It's usually a bit more ceremonial, but we were pressed for time, all right?" He actually sounded a little offended.

Dallet stared at him, taken aback. "Th-that...was it? The wh-whole thing?"

"Yes, that was it!" The silver-haired vampire grumbled, pulling his wrist back over and examining it a bit tiredly. "I told you it doesn't really have anything to do with kissing--that's just the name because the first vampire to give a childe the Kiss actually kissed her." He frowned, mumbling something to the extent of, 'Must have never embraced anybody else, or she'd accuse him of cheating...' while staring down at the bite mark he had inflicted upon himself.

That was it, Dallet sat there for a few moments, trying to let the realization sink in. THAT was IT...? The Kiss, this thing everybody talks about like it's some sort of big deal--and that was it? He couldn't believe it. Why all of the fuss over something so ridiculously simple? He'd already done this before when Dilandau embraced him! What was the big deal? Migel sure must have been enjoying his apprehension over it, that was for sure...

His attention was drawn to Dilandau when he saw the injury on his wrist rapidly heal and close itself up--it was gone before it even would have stopped bleeding had it been a human wound. Rolling his sleeve back down, vampire told his new childe a bit more softly, "It's finished...I'm sorry."

Dallet blinked, glancing at him questioningly. "I thought you wanted it to be finished."

"I don't embrace just anyone," the pale vampire frowned, "If you hadn't saved Gatti...if you hadn't been endeared to my childeren already, I would have allowed you your mortal death." Endeared to your childeren, but not to you, hm? Dallet asked him silently. "The fact is, though, that in repaying you for saving Gatti's life, I have taken away your freedom."

Dallet forced a smile, "I-it's alright. I've wandered all my life without any idea where I was headed..." He sighed, the smile fading as he admitted, "I-it'll be different. I won't adjust to staying in the same place overnight. But...if there's anywhere in the world that I would choose to be tied down to, it would be here."

Dilandau blinked at this; he looked at if he hadn't been expecting such words.

A bit embarrassed, Dallet added, "Y-you and everyone here are really the only reasons I came back to this city. I even knew that Oume was following me...I just didn't know how close behind me he was. I could have outran him, if I hadn't been paying so much attention to re-tracing my steps to find Kagero's estate again. I-I really thought that I was going to die...how did you find me?"

"I was out looking for Viole," the Sire replied, frowning at his own recollections of that night. "If he really does have precognitive abilities, then perhaps he knew that leaving the keep would lead me to you--I don't know how else such a thing could have happened. It certainly seemed too arranged to have been chance." He paused, eyes narrowing to crimson slits, as he added fiercely, "Now that you're my childe, though, if anyone so much as attempts to do such things to you again it will be their last foolish action!"

Sweatdropping, the ex-vagrant pointed out, "My regeneration would just heal up any injuries I got now, anyway."

"I don't care," Dilandau declared firmly. "My childeren will not come to any more harm while I am around to prevent it. I'll protect them, even if I have to keep them all inside of the keep forever!" Dallet sweatdropped, Oh, you'll protect them...you, the same person who doesn't hesitate to slap any one of your childeren upside the head if they so much as look at you wrong? Somehow I'm finding this difficult to believe...unless your idea of 'protection' is very different from mine. By now he knew better then to make such a sarcastic comment to Dilandau's face, though--or he would only end up adding another of Dilandau's infamous slaps to his own count.

"Migel mentioned the teething stage," Dilandau commented in a feigned casual manner, still staring down at his wrist and looking tired. "...What did he mean, chewing on his shoulder...?"

"Ehehehe..." Dallet glanced off to the side, sweatdropping. "Suffice it to say, he has a higher pain tolerance than I previously thought."

The albino raised an eyebrow. "I...see."

Dallet nodded. "Exactly." He paused, glancing at the silver-haired vampire, then commented as casually as he could, "We should get some rest while things are quiet." Dallet himself was not in the least bit tired--the Kiss seemed to have completely restored his energy, much better than any full night's sleep might have--but Dilandau looked exhausted, and the brunette knew that suggesting outright that he take a nap probably wouldn't be over well.

His Sire, however, seemed to know what he meant right away. "You couldn't sleep right now even if you wanted to," he smirked slightly, "the Kiss energizes and renews--you probably won't need to sleep for a week."

A bit more boldly, Dallet countered, "You sleep for awhile, then. I want to go and talk to Viole, anyway."

Looking saddened at mention of his purple-haired childe, Dilandau murmured, "I should have seen it."

"His precognition," the albino clarified, scowling at Dallet's questioning look. The expression faded back to troubled quietness, however, as he sighed, "He...has had this ability ever since his embrace, and yet in all the hundreds of years I've had him for a childe I never once guessed it. Not once! Because of his damned accepting ways, he never on even one occasion let on that he was discontent! How the hell could I have made such an oversight?" He closed his eyes, "How many times he must have dreamt, experienced, something horrible happening, and gently steered the rest of us from harm's way... How many times has he seen someone he cares about die, and not been able to tell anyone?"

"He's seen Gatti die." Dallet's interruption was spoken frankly. Immediately, Dilandau's crimson eyes were trained upon him.

"How do you know?"

"I've known about the precognition thing ever since the first time I was here," Dallet sweatdropped at the albino's strange expression. Eheh...it's been going on under his nose for centuries, and yet even the newbie knows--that can't help his ego any. A bit hesitantly--he wasn't sure if Viole had wanted to explain this to Dilandau himself, but now that he'd spoken up it was too late anyhow--he elaborated, "He...had a dream about one of the childeren getting crossed. If it had been you, he would have risked everything and told you outright...but since it wasn't you, he kept quiet, and so it happened like he'd dreamt. That's why he blamed himself so much when Gatti was crossed--he felt it was his fault for not preventing it."

"He was against that excursion," Dilandau sighed, leaning his face on one palm. There was a distant look in his eyes, whether from memories or weariness it was hard to tell. "I thought it was because that was the first time that I had allowed any childeren to venture out of the keep with me...since that damned Allen Schezar began to hunt us. In a way, it was--he knew what I had dared try to defy. That given a ghost of chance, the Abaharaki would go to every measure to cause us harm!" He gritted his fangs, his eyes flaring brightly in a frightening fashion, and Dallet wisely chose that moment to stand--it couldn't be safe, being that close to an angry Dilandau.

"Well, he's been doing his best to prevent the things he sees, and it's always harder to get people to do things when you can't explain why. Think of it this way, though: if Viole had prevented Gatti from being crossed, it would have saved everyone a lot of grief, yes. But I would still be wandering the streets out there, and you would have one less childe. Gatti's crossing was the only reason I ever met any of you."

Dilandau tangled his fingers in his silver hair, closing his eyes, and was silent.

"...Please try and rest," Dallet sighed, "Somebody else can mind the keep for awhile--Viole did a good job while you were gone."

"...Of course he did," the other vampire sighed. Unsure what else there was to say, Dallet let the conversation end at that, quietly slipping out of the room. Walking down the shadowy halls of the keep, he revelled in how he could see every detail even though he knew that it was dark in there. Now I know why they even have candles in here, though--it's for the sake of the humans around here. ...Wait a second... He paused, frowning.

"If there are human donors around here all the time, why the hell did Dilandau-sama need to abduct me to care for Gatti!" The empty hallway, sole witness to the frustrated question, offered no reply.

Surprisingly, Dallet was able to locate Viole's room with little trouble, even though he'd never been there before. The shiny metal plaque on the door that read 'Viole' probably had something to do with the ease of finding it...

Lightly, so as not to disturb the inhabitant should he be sleeping, he knocked on the wooden door. A long moment passed, and yet he received no reply. Hesitantly, the brunette turned the knob and peered inside. I figured he would still be in his room, but I guess I didn't bother to check with anyone before coming... He thought. The room, not surprisingly, was furnished in various soft shades of purple, with candles gently glowing from various silver holders set into the walls and a plush grey carpet underfoot. All of this barely caught Dallet's notice, though, for lying on the bed with his face buried in his folded arms and his lavender-grey curls spread free in tendrils across his back was Viole. The lovely vampire did not look up as he came in, though he must have heard the door close. Poor Viole, Dallet thought, saddened at the sight. His precognition was the only reason he left the keep, so it's not like he went and started all of this by choice...

Hearing a soft whimper from the one on the bed, the brunette felt his heart squeeze. It's been a tough few days for him...I wish somebody would stay with him so that he doesn't have to be alone... Padding lightly across the carpet, he seated himself quietly on the edge of the bed, placing a hand gently on Viole's back.

"It's not your fault," he murmured. Viole seemed startled at his touch--perhaps he'd really been so consumed by his own misery that he hadn't noticed when Dallet had come inside. Lifting his head, he looked tearfully at his friend and tried to smile.

"D-D-Dallet...I-I'm sorry, I d...didn't hear you c-come in..."

Dallet looked at him earnestly, repeating, "Viole, this isn't your fault. None of it is...I don't know what dream you had to make you leave the keep, but it must have been awful enough to make you forget to tell anyone..."

Abandoning what little pretense of cheer he had had, the purple-haired vampire buried his face in his hands again, muffling a small sob. "I-I didn't forget...! I d...d-did it on purpose!"

"Because you were afraid of what Dilandau-sama would say and do if he learned about your precognition," Dallet sighed, rubbing his friend's back gently, "But that doesn't make it your fault! You dreamt something, saw something, that you couldn't accept happening, and so you set out to change it. At your own risk, and at the risk of everything you knew, you did, and that to me is a courageous thing to do!"

"N-no..." Quieting a little, Viole sighed shakily. "I'm n...not courageous a-at all, Dallet...I-I'm a coward. I only l-left the keep because..." He trailed off, sniffling.

"Because you were scared?" Dallet intoned gently, concerned. Viole was a sensitive person...everything was supposed to be over by now, but the emotional repercussions of being kidnapped and tortured and having to tell Dilandau his deepest secret were surely only starting to show.

Slowly, Viole sat up. Leaning forward, he slid his arms around Dallet's waist and hugged him tightly, resting his head on the brunette's shoulder. The ex-vagrant tensed at the embrace, untrusting as always of being touched, but did not pull away.

"I w-wasn't scared...I was t-terrified, Dallet..." Viole whispered, his eyes closed, "B-because I dreamt of you, a-and someone was hurting you...and I knew th...that unless I left the keep immediately, you...would die." So, it's as Dilandau-sama and I suspected, then--he did leave the keep to set up a chain reaction that would save me from Oume. That means...I'm a vampire because of him... Dallet felt wet warmth seep through his shirt, the vampire's tears tracing across his skin even as he breathed, "I-It's selfish, but I'm glad you've been embraced...y-you're just like the other ch-childeren--like family to me! I love you, s-so please...p-please..." His voice was lost in the tears. Someone...loves me, Dallet thought, feeling a pang in his heart. Nobody had ever told him those words before. In his every memory, no one had ever loved him.

Somehow, this made the physical contact less uncomfortable. Surely if Viole loved him, he couldn't want to ever hurt him...surely, after all that the beauty had gone through--put himself through, alone--to keep the brunette safe, he would harm himself before he would harm Dallet. Not that I want him to, the brunette thought, hugging Viole protectively and rocking him gently to and fro, He's practically broken himself, just to save me...I'm grateful, but I don't ever want to see him hurt like this again!

"Don't worry," he whispered to his friend in return, "I'm not going anywhere...now that Dilandau-sama gave me the Kiss, it's official--I'm his childe, and that makes us brothers, right?"

Despite his tears, Viole smiled, and despite his tears, he looked beautiful doing so. "I-I'll try...to be a good b-big brother," he murmured, sitting back a little and trying to dry his eyes. Sighing a little, he added heavily, "Now...th-that Dilandau-sama knows about my precognition, I...I-I'll try my best to take care of everyone b-better."

"Just don't blame yourself every time anything goes wrong," Dallet warned gently, relieved to see that lovely smile again. It was the first real one he'd witnessed since he had departed four months ago. "Just because you can see things before they happen doesn't mean that those things are your responsibility."

"I-if knowing...would help Dilandau-sama or any of the others at all," the purple-haired vampire said softly, gazing down at his hands, "I-I feel it would be wrong of me...not to tell them."

"You can't fix everything." Dallet glanced around the room, trying to find some way to lighten up the mood of the conversation. "Take this room, for example," he added teasingly after a half-moment, smiling a little. "There's no fixing the purple-ness of this room--was there an explosion of grapes in here?"

Viole looked momentarily surprised, then suddenly began to laugh. It was a bright, happy kind of noise, startling to hear from such a quiet person in such a quiet room, and just the sound of it made Dallet want to laugh, himself. "D-Dallet...thank you, you're...t-too much, really..." Viole giggled, leaning forward to hug the new childe again, and Dallet patted his back lightly, sweatdropping.

"Sheesh, it wasn't that funny..." Despite his words, there was a goofy little grin on his face. Viole was going to be okay.

--End Chapter 21

Hurt Akugi! Volume 21

-- - - Akugi #59

Dilandau: "Whatever. Get over here."

Dallet: (Nervously) "Wh-what for?"

Dilandau: (Grumble) "So that I can hack all of that girly pageboy haircut off and you'll look MALE."

Dallet: (Sweatdrop) "I'll stay over here, thanks..."

- - - - Akugi #60

Dilandau: "I don't know what the hell's gotten you so worked up, but this is a very simple process..." (Rummages in pocket) "...Simple...erm..."

Dallet: (raises an eyebrow, holding up a small thick booklet) "If it's so 'simple', why is the instruction manual this thick?"

Dilandau: (Stops rummaging, scowling) "THAT'S where it went...!"

----Akugi #61

Dilandau: (Sigh) "I should have seen it."

Dallet: "...?"

Dilandau: "The resemblence! Amano looks JUST LIKE Allen Schezar--why the hell do I have him working for me!"

Dallet: "..."

----Akugi #62

Dilandau: "...What did he mean, chewing on his shoulder...?"

Dallet: "Ehehehe..." (Sweatdrop) "Suffice it to say, he has a higher pain tolerance than I previously thought."

Dilandau: (Smirk) "Ahaaaa...you were on one of those 'gumming stages'."

Dallet: (Frown) "Excuse me, I had teeth even when I wasn't a vampire..."

Dilandau: (Idly) "Oh, they all fall out and re-grow when you're embraced, though--hasn't it happened yet?"

Dallet: (Grumble) "Oh, please..." (feels teeth) "They're perfectly fine! They--" (pulls hand away holding his whole set of teeth like dentures in it) (OO);

AN: It's done! It's done! Huzzah! throws confetti Just the chapter, not the ficcy...relax. ) Thanks for reading--you have no idea how many times I re-read this chapter and wondered if it was good enough to post! I hope it was worthy of being associated with the rest of the fic...and don't worry, things are looking calm now, but I'm gonna stir up some trouble again soon like the devious little plotting author that I am. (Rubs hands together) Review onegai shimasu! C'ya next chapter!