Interlude: Letter #3

I am not afraid.

Darkness is nothing to be afraid of.

It is calm here.

In this place there is no pain, no suffering.

Is this heaven?

No. It cannot be. Why then would they wish to drag me back to that place?

That place where the light, the sounds, the life brings only pain.

What pain?

I know of pain.

When it hits, the pain is instant. The shock follows, anger, hurt, anguish...then comes the dullness. The dull pain, the pain that they say will fade. Over time will fade.

Time heals all wounds?

They lie.

My pain remains. That pain. That dullness, it will not fade.

It remains, always with me, always.

Only when I am here. In the dark. In the emptiness. In the cold that there is not pain.

No thoughts.

No memories.

No sounds.

No...

No her.

This place is my heaven.

My place of refuge. Here I am safe. Safe from...from memories.

Is that why she forgets me?

Why she erases me from her existence?

Yes.

I will erase my existence.

I will stay.

Stay in the dark.

Stay.

Disappear.

Become nothing.

I am nothing.

Nothing.

Nobody.

...not enough...never enough...never was...

Healer notes:

Diagnosis: Mental trauma ongoing. Reasons remain unclear. Patient incoherent outside sessions.

Recommendation: Weekly sessions rather than fortnightly sessions. Supervision may be required. Family & Friends visitations daily - weekly acceptable.

PATIENT SESSION #3 END.

A/N: I'm not entirely sure how helpful these interludes are in helping y'all understand Ron's mental state but for me, as the writer, its kinda scary. As many writers know the characters take you over and the words just flow. The words over the last few 'interludes' were Ron's words. Ron that I created for this fic that is and the place I had to go with him to write them was scary. There was an image which flashed into my head while writing this that made me physically sick.

So can I ask everyone, are you feeling what Ron is feeling? Are these chapters helping you understand him?

If you'd like to get a peek into my mind/Ron's mind, there is a chilling image I remember from a long time ago that pretty much sums up Ron's state of mind, I've posted it at my livejournal, link to that is available in my author profile, or I'll pm you the link/image if you ask me in your comments.