Okay, I only have one more chapter finished, so I have decided to take a brief hiatus over Christmas. Chapter 22 will be posted on the 26. By then, I should have some more done.

Merry Christmas; I'll see you on Boxing Day!

Chapter Twenty-One "I Need You"

That look he had when they were dancing in the kitchen was back in Steve's eyes. Only there was no fear or hesitation. He ran his fingers through Catherine's hair and looked into her eyes, still shimmering from the tears she couldn't stop.

"I'm sorry," Steve said.

She nodded. "I know. Stop talking," she said, holding Steve's face in her hands. He did.

But he took his time. While two years had only intensified his feelings for Catherine, he knew better than to rush into what they had before: an almost relationship, struggling for, but not quite grasping meaning and significance. This had to be different.

Steve pushed Catherine's hair from her face with one hand and placed the other on the small of her back. She tilted her head upward, her lips barely parted. Steve leaned his face into hers until their noses were touching, and his eyelashes brushed her check. Time no longer existed; they were suspended there.

When his lips touched hers, Catherine felt everything speed up again. Her heart raced, and she couldn't hold Steve close enough or tightly enough. Prior to Jack, their relationship had always been physical, but this was something else. This was the first honest kiss they'd ever had.

Catherine realized that she wasn't breathing, and at first, she didn't care. She had Steve again, and she was never letting go. But her lungs betrayed her. She pulled away, her lips still barely touching his, just enough to breathe. She felt Steve's hot breath on her neck as he breathed along with her.

"Steve," Catherine gasped.

"Yeah?" he said.

She wrapped her arms around him and tried to breathe. "I don't want to leave," she said. "I don't ever want to leave."

"I don't want you to," Steve replied. "I never did."

Catherine pulled away a little so she could look him in the eye. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Steve let out a staggering breath. "You want to know the truth?"

She nodded.

"I was afraid you wouldn't want the same thing. That you would drift farther from me if I told you. I was a coward."

Catherine shook her head. "I was too." She smiled with some irony. "We've wasted so much time."

Steve pulled her close again, smoothing her hair and kissing her head. "Not anymore," he said.

H-5-O

Johnny drove Anna home. She didn't want to drive herself. He offered to stay with her, but she said she wanted to be alone. Johnny wasn't sure what to do with himself. He didn't want to be alone, but he also didn't want anyone to feel the need to comfort him. For once in his life, he wanted to be the strong one.

He drove around for a while, stopping at familiar sites to admire the view or think of times he spent there with Alana or his family. He watched tourists, and wondered why he felt like one in his own life.

Johnny knew his tail was probably getting annoyed. He kept driving around aimlessly because he really didn't know where he was going. Finally, he stopped at Wailupe Beach, less than a mile from his childhood home.

He couldn't go back there yet. There was something he still needed to figure out, though he wasn't sure what it was. He knew as soon as he stepped through those doors, Steve would know what had happened. He would turn into that protective, comforting creature he had twenty years ago. It wasn't exactly a bad thing, but Johnny wasn't sure what it meant.

Steve had taken the place of a father for Johnny in a lot of ways, and he didn't want to think like that anymore. Steve wasn't his father. He couldn't possibly take on that role.

Johnny realized that he had to accept the fact that he no longer had a father. That he was never going to get that relationship back, and no matter how hard Steve tried, he couldn't be that for him. But he could be what he was. All this time, Steve had been trying to be a good brother, and Johnny wouldn't see it.

He hated to admit it, but right about then, he needed Steve. He needed the protective, comforting creature. He had tried to be strong, and it lasted a while, long enough to keep Anna from seeing how freaked out he was.

It wasn't the end of the world. Johnny knew that, and that was just it. It should have been. It was the end of Alana's world, but he had to go on, and he wasn't sure he had the strength anymore.

H-5-O

Steve watched Catherine watch Jack. She looked so tired, but somehow not as worn out as when he'd first arrived. She leaned heavily against the door frame, eyes half closed. Steve came up beside her and put his arms around her waist. He kissed her jaw and felt her relax against him.

"You're about to fall asleep standing up," he said softly.

Catherine mumbled something unintelligible and buried her face in Steve's shirt. She wasn't going to move, but she was shaking, so Steve picked her up. She didn't protest, or even react much as he carried her to his room. He laid her on the bed and slipped off her shoes.

For a second, Catherine looked like she was going to try to get up. "We need to talk," she said.

"We will," Steve replied, pulling the blankets over her. "First, you need to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."
Catherine smiled, closing her eyes. She relaxed against the pillow, and her breathing instantly slowed. Steve sat watching her for a second, before getting up and going to the chest of drawers on the other side of the bed.

In the top drawer, the place of honor, where it had sat for as long as Steve could remember was a dull gray box with a thick layer of dust on top. He brushed it off and held it in his hand. It hadn't been opened in probably twenty-five years. Steve was hesitant to push back the lid. Did he really want to go there?

Yes. Yes, he most certainly did.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed opposite Catherine and opened the gray box. There it was. The object which inspired such terror and such excitement. Steve couldn't quite grasp why. He ran his fingers over the smooth white gold and the three bright diamonds. It needed to be cleaned.

Steve remembered what his mother used to do when she wore the ring for special occasions. She would clean in with toothpaste which he always thought was hysterical, but it came out shiny, like new. Following her example, he cleaned the ring just like she did.

Susan McGarrett didn't like to wear her mother-in-law's ring because it was "too big." She didn't like the feel of it, so she just wore her wedding band. It's the only reason her ring wasn't lost in the car bomb.

Laying back on the bed, Steve twisted the ring around the tip of his finger. It wasn't nearly as big as his mother made it out to be or he remembered it. It seemed a bit on the small side. Only a bit.

Steve's heart beat faster all of the sudden. It was just the sort of ring Catherine would pick out.

Steve's phone beeped on the bedside table, and he looked at the message, expecting another "all's well." Instead it said, "your brother's outside your house."

H-5-O

Johnny stood outside the door but couldn't bring himself to knock or just go in. He found himself out on the beach again. The late afternoon sun glared in his eyes and he lit a cigarette. There was no one to be offended here. He watched the lighter flame come on and go out. After the first couple of drags, he ground out the cigarette in the sand and sighed.

Johnny crossed his arms over his knees and listened to the dissonance of the waves and didn't try to make sense of it. He heard the distant sound of the back door opening and closing and the slow, heavy footsteps across the lawn. Steve wasn't wearing shoes.

Johnny kicked at the sand and stared at the tracks he made. He wouldn't look up. He couldn't do it just then. Steve didn't say anything. He just stood there in the sand next to Johnny. Stood there by his side where he had always been.

And then, Johnny couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't act like he was fine because he wasn't, and he wasn't supposed to be. He turned and looked Steve in the eye, tears making their way freely down his face.

He tried to tell Steve what happened, but he couldn't get words around the lump in his throat. But Steve nodded, and his eyes said he knew.

Johnny felt his tense muscles relax and felt like he might fall over, but Steve was there. He held out his arms, and Johnny knew they'd been open all along, waiting for him to come home.

When Johnny felt his brother's strong arms wrap around his shoulders, he still felt like he couldn't breathe. But somehow that was okay.

He wrapped his arms around Steve's waist, digging his fingers into his shirt, holding on with everything he had. His mind flashed back to that April night sitting at the top of the stairs, a time when he still felt like he had a family.

"Don't let go," Johnny choked over the knot in his throat.

Steve's hands made circles on his back. "I won't," he whispered.