Disclaimer: I don't own anything from MI-5/Spooks, or NCIS. This is just a story made for my amusement, and hopefully all of yours as well. This will mostly revolve around the NCIS universe, with strong elements from MI-5. There will small elements from Nancy Drew: Silent Spy (which I don't own, disclaimer here), but just bits of the storyline from the game, no actual characters from Nancy Drew will be present.)
Summary: Kelly Gibbs is very much alive, but she has miles of baggage she is carrying, and the ever present danger nipping at her heels.
Pairings:
Evelyn(Kelly)/Lucas North
Gibbs/Jenny
Tony/Ziva
Abby/McGee
Warnings: Mentions of Torture, PTSD, Violence, Language, and Sexual Situation and brief mention of drug use. This is NOT the same as The Girl in Memory. It will share the same basic plotline, and have some similar parts, but it IS a different story entirely.
Thank you Ants nz, Calista Mason, Cavill, Curiouser-and-Curiouser101, DS2010, Fantasyfictionwriter, FourHorses, JrSnape, Lady Isabelle Black, MDDC26, Mary Artemis, RedEyedSurprise, Rianna Hunter, ShadowGuardianAngel, Sir-Tannin, SpecialAgentLeonie, Stars2008, Tehyariddick, adrienmaciel, andrewjeeves, Soccergirl0388, aprilalvinsmith, craftygirl26, joe bob billy bob, jrfan2383, Okaloosa, skeeter88, tammy henson, thedudewithoutaname, x-xLittle-Miss-Brown-Eyesx-x, LeleChaos, KStover, HeartBreaker989, RidingAngelxspy, Sammyangel, CandyHearts22, azreal angel of death, laurabhouse7, disneynut98, BlainX, vampire-lover96-biteme, Safara Bellamy, kendog52361, Funfawn5, daytimesun99, redhouseclan, EmmieRaeJean, emergency70, LegalAddiction20, saji235, Noriko333, rockrose, lucksby92, reader29, jenny14, haeraquill, SnowLeopard167, jayesh, Dreamsb223, Storywriter905, EQfan74, katrin lily, Voldymoldy666 and xLyraCharlottex for the follows!
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I would like to also like to thank 'Children of Gibbs' and The Favorite Stories of Kendog52361 to adding me to their community. That made my day.
And a special thanks to the reviewers, CandyHearts22, BurnedSpy, DS2010, MaryArtemis, Mayflowers123! Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it.
Guest Reviews:
Inspired by the song:
"Say You Love Me" by Jessie Ware
"Undefeated" by Chris Daughtry
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
"Back To Normal...Or Not"
The wheels on the wheelchair squeaked as they rolled down the hallway. Evelyn had a knuckle white grip on the arms of it, and tension was coiled tightly in the back of her neck. Her pulse pounded in her throat, and she fought the urge to glance over at her father who walked silently beside her. He had been like a shadow these last few days. He was there, but the words that had been passed between them had been little to few. And Lucas, who stood on her other side. Her "body guard" had also been there, and it only increased the anxiety flowing through her veins. Admittedly a great deal of this anxiety was self induced. If she only had been honest and told the truth instead of getting stabbed then there wouldn't be a wall between her and her father. If she only would allow her heart to speak, then there wouldn't be a wall between her and Lucas either.
However, those walls had been built upon scars. Horrible, nightmarish things that had been branded upon her heart with a whitehot iron of pain. Evelyn let out a shaky breath, absentmindedly listening to the nurse who rattled off what exactly she needed to do in the next few weeks. Bedrest, taking it easy, blah, blah. It was all white noise to Evelyn. The doors of the hospital slid open, and Evelyn drew in her first breath of fresh air. There was a hint of winter still clinging to the air, and small piles of snow scattered around. It made a knot well up in her throat as she remembered the igloo that her and Lucas had made. It had been the first time she allowed all her walls to come down, to let herself get lost in that moment with him and entertain the idea that just maybe she could have a normal healthy relationship.
How quickly that idea had fallen apart.
"How are you feeling?" Jackson Gibbs smiled from where he stood by a simple black unmarked car with Fornell, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else.
"Good," Evelyn smiled the best she could. She had a feeling he could see right through it. Having her grandfather back in her life had been an unexpected blessing, a rock in the storm that was her life. "Been better. How about you? How are you feeling?" She inquired, softly.
"I'm doing just fine," Jackson assured her. "Now, let's get you out of that chair, and on your way home?"
"Sounds like a plan," Evelyn said, the edges of her smile smoothing out into something softer.
Gibbs watched the exchanged, and damnit, he couldn't help the burn of jealous that rolled through his stomach. His father had figured out to connect to Evelyn in a way that Gibbs was struggling with. It was like walking through sand with weights tied to his feet, and each breath felt like he was drowning. He watched as Fornell opened the door, and he reached out automatically to help her out of the chair. He gave North the evil eye when he realized the man did the same.
Evelyn tensed, her eyes flickered to both the offered hands and bit back a sigh. The two absolutely hated each other, and it only seemed to have gotten worse. Gritting her teeth, Evelyn managed to get to her feet and stumble into the car herself. She slid into the seat and collapsed against the door. Jackson slid into the passenger seat and Lucas took the driver seat after a nod to Fornell. Her blue eyes flickered towards Gibbs who sat in the backseat beside her, and shut the door behind him.
It was stifling in the car. The roiling tension seemed to reach overwhelming heights and the silence did nothing to stop it. Evelyn wrapped her arms around herself, forcing herself not to jump when the car started to move. "Has there been…any progress? On Tarasov?" She asked, though she didn't really care in this moment. She just wanted to fill the silence.
Lucas's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "As far as we can tell he is laying low. This recent attack on your life has generated too much scrutiny for his liking," he stated, feeling the heat of a glare on the back of his head. Gibbs and Fornell may want Evelyn not to worry about Tarasov, or know anything more about the case, but Lucas had hurt her once by hiding the truth. He would not do so again.
"That's not good," she breathed out.
"No, it's not," Gibbs agreed, darkly. His eyes flickered over to Evelyn, who was slightly curled in on herself. His hands were clenched into tight fists in his lap, and he fought the urge to reach out to her. He didn't think she would welcome right in this moment.
Evelyn's eyes were downcast. It took her several seconds to muster up the courage to speak again, and she raised her gaze onto his face. "Are you okay?" She asked, softly. This couldn't be easy on him anymore than it was on the rest of them.
Gibbs didn't answer right away. "Getting there," was the reply he came up with, and he held back a sigh. He was not intentionally being short with her, but the conversation they needed to have needed between just them. Not with Lucas or his father in the front seat.
Evelyn supposed that it was better than nothing. Silence or anger was definitely the worse response that she could have received. Indifference or neutral response was way better than that. She could work with that. She took in a deep cleansing breath, and leaned her forehead against the glass of the window. She watched the scenery flash by, and time seemed to fade entirely.
Gibbs glanced over at her. The way she was curled into the seat, with her head against the window brought back so many memories. She used to do that on the long trips back from the beaches when she was tired out, and she would fall fast to sleep. He could recall each every time that he carried her into the house, and tucked her into the bed. Staring at her now, he was all the more aware of how many years he lost with her.
"I mean, what do you get someone after something like this happens?" Abby paced between the desks nervously. She twisted her hands together and her lips were pursed thoughtfully. "I mean, there's the traditional flowers and 'get well soon' card. But that seems a little blasé because we found out that Evelyn is Gibbs's daughter and she almost died! She almost died! That would have sucked because I really like Evelyn! Not like-like because I don't swing that way, so shut up Tony," the goth stopped long enough to send him a glare.
"I didn't say anything," Tony blinked innocently.
"Also I don't think Gibbs would appreciate flowers or a 'it's a girl' card," Abby wrinkled her nose then shook her head. She didn't want a head slap. "But I want to make them both feel better. Kind of. I mean, I'm still uber mad Evelyn hid this from us, but I suppose I understand. Maybe." Abby paused long enough to take a breath, and turned around to glare at the three of them. "Why are none of you helping me?"
"With which part? Your babble went all over the place, Abs. No offense," McGee stated, distractedly. He was trying to focus on his computer rather than Abby's hips which was hard when she kept pacing back and forth like she had been. Down boy. She doesn't like you like that, McGee told him, with a shake of his head.
"Flower, McGee," Abby gave him a stern glare. "We were talking about flowers. Are flowers appropriate thing to make Gibbs and Evelyn feel better?"
"I don't know about Evelyn, but I do not think Gibbs is a flower kind of man," Ziva stated, with a half smile.
"What about a fruit basket? Everyone loves those," Tony said, after sharing a smirk with Ziva.
Abby made a disgusted noise. "You all are a font of nothing," she declared, then turned on heel and stomped off.
"Well, that was something," Tony said, slowly.
"Speaking of something…McGee, I need you to pull any information you can on a man named Nathan Williams," Ziva stated, with a frown as she glanced over the file. "Lives in Norfolk."
"I'll check to see if he's in the system," McGee nodded, and walked over to his computer. "May I ask why though?"
"I believe he may be connected to this fake Deacon Hooper," Ziva said the name with distaste. It was another remind of what all had transpired and how all them had been thrown for a loop. Her eyes darted from Tony and McGee, both had dark circles underneath their eyes to match hers. No one had been getting sleep, not that anyone could blame them.
"Whoa! That was fast," McGee gaped, his eyes wide in slight surprise. "Nathan Williams works as garbage collector on Norfolk Naval base. He has a criminal record that includes driving under the influence…and drug possession. And he had a court date next week for a hit and run that mysteriously vanished. All charges dropped."
"Well, isn't that interesting," Tony crossed his arms over his chest. He glanced over at Ziva, and raised an eyebrow. "Who was involved in the hit and run case?"
McGee frowned, and pulled it up. "Umm, let me see…The victim was an elderly woman and it says there was only one witness at the crime scene. I'll see if I can find the name…"
"Let me hazard a guess Commander Matt Burnett?" Ziva said, dryly.
McGee nodded. "Yes. Commander Matt Burnett was the witness in the case," he said, with a frown. "But how does he connect to Tarasov? I mean, Fornell said that Tarasov killed Doctor MacDonald the same way the Commander was killed."
"Back scratching!" Tony blurted out.
Ziva and McGee gave him a look.
"You scratch my back, and I'll scratch you back," Tony explained with a wave of his hand. "Tarasov needed the doctor out of the way, so he gave Nathan Williams the means to do it."
"Williams then used the same lethal combination of drugs to kill Burnett and the Commander's witness testimony was the only evidence they had against Williams. No witness, no case against Williams. Both benefit and it is as good as a theory as any," Ziva nodded, thoughtfully.
"I'll get a search warrant for Williams' apartment," McGee picked up the phone.
"And we'll go pick him up," Ziva said, rising from her desk. She grabbed her badge and gun while Tony pulled on his jacket. "Are you going to call Gibbs, and let him know?"
Tony paused. "Not yet. I'll call him after we have Williams in interrogation. You know, make it a present to brighten his day," he said, with a slight sarcasm to cover up the worry that was there.
"I doubt anything will be able to brighten his day," Ziva said, as they stepped onto the elevator. The doors slid closed and she desperately tried not to fidget. "Have you spoken to Evelyn?"
"Briefly," Tony admitted. "She's not in a good place."
"Can you blame her?" Ziva asked, quietly.
"No, I can't," Tony frowned. "But I can't blame Gibbs for being upset as well. You know, normally I love the drama that spices up the daily work life, but this is too much Days of our Lives for my taste."
"Days of our Lives?" Ziva looked confused.
"Ziva, do you even own a tv?"
The drive to the house lasted nearly an hour, and Evelyn had been more than a little relieved to get out of the car. The air had been stifling in the uncertain silence, and as soon as the car was parked, she had tried to get out. Needlessly to say, she had earned three disapproving looks when she gave a whine of pain for standing up too fast. With pink cheeks, she leaned on Lucas to make it inside of her house. It was silent, too. With a sigh, she flopped her head against Lucas's shoulder tiredly and she felt his arms tightened around her waist. "Are you alright?"
Evelyn buried her face slightly into his shoulder, and breathed in deeply. She couldn't deny that having him was comforting, even if she wasn't exactly happy with it. She was stubborn like that. "No. But I will be," she whispered out, as they reached her bedroom door. She held onto him for a moment longer, before she pulled out of his arms.
Lucas reluctantly let her go, but stood close in case she stumbled. Evelyn used the wall to keep her upright, and let out a labored breath. She was not looking forward to the physical therapy the doctor recommended, she thought dryly. Her expression was drawn closed, and when she reached her bedroom, she made her way to her desk. Her fingers automatically searching for the secret button, and she could feel the weight of Lucas's stare upon her.
The compartment slide open, and swallowing thickly, she pulled out the bracelet and the wedding ring. She stared at the items, both tethered to different times in her life that had both come around in full circle. She lifted her gaze to Lucas, who stared at the items with his brows furrowed.
"What is that?" He asked, quietly. Almost as if he were afraid that speaking to loud and breaking the silence would have some adverse reaction.
She smiled thinly. "Your information. You know, the reason the FBI wants me protected," she stated, with a bitter chuckle. She pulled the blue stone apart, and revealed the flash drive for what it was.
Lucas's brow went up to his hairline. "Hidden compartments, hidden flash drives," he said, his tone slightly teasing. "Are you sure you've left the spy life completely behind you?"
"Have you?" She countered, narrowing her eyes. "I think we both know the answer to those questions."
Lucas heaved a deep breath, running a hand down his face. "I don't want to fight with you, Evelyn," he told her, simply. "I don't have the energy for, and neither do you. Is this really want? To fight, and to be bitter?"
Evelyn looked stubborn, for all of a moment. Her face fell, and she tunneled her fingers through her hair. "I am sorry. That was unfair of me. I know…I know that you meant it when you said you were sorry, and I know that this is…hard for all of us," she whispered out, lifting her gaze from items in her hands to him. "I don't want it to be like that either, but I…I don't know if we can go back to the way it was before."
Lucas gaze was steady on her face. He could see that she ached for him as much as he did for her. To be able to go back to that safe place that had built together.
"You probably want this," Evelyn said, after a moment. The uncomfortable ache, and urge to break down built up within her chest. She stomped it down, and blinked back the burn of tears. She placed the flash drive into the palm of his hand, but before she could pull her hand back, his fingers clasped over hers. A light gasp tore through her lips, and she watched Lucas bring his other hand up. His fingertips stroked along her hand, mapping every detail about it before his thumb brushed across her pulse with a feather light stroke. She let out a small sigh, and closed her eyes. So many emotions struggled across her face, and she opened her eyes when she felt his forehead pressed against hers.
"I don't want to give up on you," he told her, sincerely. "Have you given up on me?"
Evelyn let out a quivering breath, and placed a shaky on his chest. Her eyes said everything he needed to hear, and a real smile curled on his lips. "I am glad to see some things are the same," he breathed out, his voice barely more than a whisper. "It's a place to start."
Evelyn felt her lips tremble, and the urge to close the distance between them was never more stronger than it was in this moment. "Lucas," she whispered out.
Lucas smiled, a hint of sadness on the edges of his lips. He leaned up, pressing his lips to her temple gently before he pulling back with the flash drive in hand. "Get some rest, please. I'll make sure that Fornell gets this," he promised, after clearing his throat. He glanced at the doorway where Gibbs stood with a glare on his face, and arms crossed over his chest. "Gibbs," he acknowledged, before he gave Evelyn a small smile. "I will be back."
"I'm holding you to that," Evelyn said, wrapping her arms around herself. She watched him leave, feeling her heart clench at the sight. She looked away to compose herself as Gibbs stepped into the room. "I never invited you, or of the team here, did I? Why didn't I do that?"
"Because you were hiding a secret?" Gibbs raised a brow.
"No. I mean, a little bit. Yeah," she flashed him a nervous grin, before she sat on the edge of her bed. She had barely been up and about and already her body was completely drained. "But I think inviting you here would have made it real. Well, more real than it already was." She gnawed on her lower lip, twisting the ring between her fingers. With a heavy heart, she lifted it out towards him. "I think that this really belongs to you."
Gibbs took a step forward, and he took the ring out of her hand with a curious expression. He looked down at the band in his hand, and he drew in a rough breath. "Shannon's wedding ring," he said, his voice raw and his eyes looked at Evelyn who was trying to look as small as possible.
"I had it with for as long as I could remember. I don't know how I got it. If I had taken it before…" Evelyn trailed off, a pained gleamed in her eyes. "Even when I didn't remember who I was…I couldn't let it go. I knew it was important."
"Do you want to talk about it?" He said, leveling a knowing look at her. He crossed his arms over his chest, and he noticed how she was slightly hunched over. It was a defensive posture and his chest tightened, to see that she was so weary around him.
"The accident?" Evie said, looking at him sadly with those blue eyes. His eyes, she had his eyes, he realized as all the air rushed out of his lungs. "Not really. No. I hate that memory. I hate remembering it. I hate talking about, but I know at some point we'll need to. But not today."
Gibbs held the ring tightly in his hand, like it was lifeline. "You had amnesia? From the accident?" He broached that subject instead. Did it make it better knowing that she had forgotten him? In some ways, yes. In other ways, no.
"Induced by mental and physical trauma. So the doctors said," Evelyn said, twisting her fingers together. She sat on the edge of the bed, and her unfocused eyes were cast towards the window. A thin of stream of light came shining through the curtains, and she could make out the grey clouds shimmering above. "I still have trouble remembering everything. There are periods in my life that are still…disorganized, and jumbled up. But for the most part, it's all there."
Gibbs paused. "When did you remember?"
"When I had already signed my life away to Cathedral. Something…just triggered it," Evelyn said, a nervous tremble in her voice. Her shoulder sagged with the weight of all of her emotions. "By that time I figured it was too late. I wasn't a child anymore, and my life…my work was dangerous. It didn't seem like the right thing to do," she tried hard to get him to understand.
"The right thing to do?" Gibbs said, quietly.
"I…" Evelyn's voice faltered. She swallowed down a deep breath, and she managed pull the gaze off the window. Her blue eyes flickered over him, and his haggard expression. Guilt twisted in her gut painfully. "I am so sorry. Please…please believe that."
Gibbs just sighed. "I know that you are sorry. I know that, and I know that you mean that. Hell," he said, dragging a hand down his face roughly. "I don't know what you want from me, Evelyn. To be alright with this? I'm a trying. I am trying." He walked to the edge of the bed, and looked torn about whether reaching out to her. Finally, he placed his hand over one of hers and blew out a harsh breath. "For years, I dreamed of having your mom and you come back to me. A painful part of me always hoped that you were alive, but it was just a dream. This is…reality. I look at you and I don't see the secrets that you keep apologizing for. I see how much time I have lost with you. I see how I didn't protect my little girl. I see how I failed you."
Evelyn looked startled. "What? Failed me? Y-you didn't fail me," she told him, taking his hand into hers more securely. "Knowing that you were alright, knowing that you were okay…was one of the things that kept me going in a time that I when I wasn't okay. You've never failed me."
Gibbs felt his throat tightened. It took him several seconds to get his voice back, and he looked straight at her face. "You knew I was alright?" His voice was light, and he saw a flash pain cross her face.
"After…after I remembered, I wanted…to know if you were alright. I used some contacts that I had to check in on you," Evelyn said, her voice shook a tiny bit. "It was selfish. I've been selfish."
"Why did you just tell me?" Gibbs asked, his voice shattered. He stared at her with this look, like he was looking a ghost. So hopeful, but so much pain at the same time. The uncertainty was stark clear in his blue eyes and Evelyn felt like she had been punched in the gut. Her heart was thundering in her ears, and she felt a cool sweat break out across her skin feeling suddenly not sure what to say.
She swung her arms before clasped her hands together in front of her and twisting them. It made Gibbs's heart lurch up into his throat. Kelly always did that when she was in trouble, and was trying to talk her way out. Gibbs pressed his lips together. There was so much more he needed answers to, but he could see the exhaustion on Evelyn's face. He squeezed her hand tightly before he stood up, and told her, "You need your rest."
"No, Gibbs, I…we need to talk about this," Evelyn said, shaking her head side to side. She made to stand up, but the pain stopped that thought quickly. "We should have already talked about it."
"We will talk about it," Gibbs assured her, with a nod of his head. He was reluctant to leave her, but forcing the issue right now was just not the thing to do. Besides, they both had to sort of their feelings. God, he hated feelings. "I promise."
Evelyn bit her lower lip. "
don't think is a right thing to do in this situation," he said, after a moment. "I think…that we have chose between two hard choices."
Evelyn closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around her midsection. She had to wear loose clothing, to hide the bandages, but she couldn't hide the pain.
"Do you need your medicine?" Gibbs asked.
"No. No, I'll be fine when I lay down," Evelyn told him, flashing a quick smile.
"Don't do that," Gibbs said, sharply. "Don't pretend with me. I can see right through it."
Evelyn froze for a second, before she nodded. "I'll try."
Gibbs nodded, and took a breath before walked out the door and shut it behind him. He leaned against it for several moments, needing them to compose himself. His cellphone went off in his jacket, and he fished it out. Seeing DiNozzo's name on the screen, he flipped it open, "Gibbs."
"Boss, we found a suspect in Commander Burnett's death. A Nathan Williams," Tony informed him, quickly. "We searched his apartment and found both the drugs as well evidence that he made them into the deadly cocktail that poisoned the Commander."
Gibbs let out a huff. "Then why are you talking to me when you should be arresting him?" He barked out.
"A step ahead of you, boss," the smirk could be heard in Tony's voice as clear as day. "He's in interrogation one. Do you want us to go ahead, or do you want to-"
"I'm on my way," was all Gibbs needed to say.
END OF CHAPTER!
Hope you all enjoyed. This chapter is a bit shorter than I would like, but I wanted to get it all moving along. I also wanted to show that not everything is going to be hunky dory. :D
NEXT CHAPTER: Lucas and Evelyn are stuck under the same roof, while Gibbs works with Fornell to track Tarasov down.
READ AND REVIEW! :D