Shatter

Chapter 21

A/N: It won't be angsty forever, I promise. Follow along just a little bit longer, there is more of this tale to be told.

Frozen with fear, Setsuna stared at her wide-eyed and helpless. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, a deep blush staining her cheeks. Embarrassment and shame filled her, the cause of her blush as Asuna scrutinized her, eyes boring into her own until she was forced to look away.

"Well?" Asuna demanded once more. At this, Setsuna looked back up to her.

"A-Asuna, can...can you give me more time to think about it? Please?" Setsuna begged, feeling the threat of tears beginning to overwhelm her. She reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. It had managed to escape her hastily constructed ponytail this morning.

Asuna was silent for a moment, biting her lip as she looked at Setsuna. Setsuna could see the thoughtfulness in her eyes as she gazed unblinkingly at Setsuna. Setsuna, for her part, managed to hold her gaze, breathing heavily through her nose as she struggled to control her conflicting emotions.

It seemed like an eternity, but finally Asuna spoke.

"In another week. I'll come ask you on your birthday, like I promised I would. Have your answer ready by then."

With that, Asuna turned on her heel, ignoring Setsuna's stuttering protests, and left, exiting much more calmly than she had entered. Setsuna was left standing at the spot she had disappeared, quietly now, her protests dying as soon as Asuna had left her sight. Now, she clenched her fists angrily, and glared sullenly at the floor. Her mood had turned angry as swiftly as Asuna's departure, and now she mumbled angrily to herself as she slowly turned and walked back toward the elevator.

She herself wasn't sure why she was angry. She pressed the call button for the elevator and leaned against the wall as she waited for it.

Her teeth ground together as her brows knitted together in an angry scowl. If she dared to look inside herself, she knew exactly why she was so angry.

She had lost the moral high-ground, plain and simple. It was a disgusting revelation, and not one she was particularly proud of, but it was true. She didn't know exactly when she had become such a pathetic, manipulating creature, but somewhere along the line, she had come to secretly enjoy catching Asuna with Kaede. It had given her an underserved sense of betterment. And now, Asuna was declaring that she didn't actually need Setsuna, and had plunged her into the depths of despair and current state of self loathing that she was now drowning in.

Setsuna's eyes widened as she realized she was outside of Konoka's door, her hand on the steel handle. She backed up a few steps, then turned and slowly made her way over to the bench, sitting down upon it. She leaned forward until her head was resting in her hands, and finally let out the tears she had been holding back.

And she had never cried so hard. Her gasping sobs drew the looks of a few others in the hall, but no one approached her to offer consolation. Mere feet from Konoka, she was well and truly all alone.

Setsuna tried to sort through the jumble of thoughts tumbling through her head as she squeezed her eyes shut in a futile attempt to stem the flow of tears.

It was true that she enjoyed the time she spent with Asuna. The girl was lively, out-going, beautiful, loud-mouthed, and passionate. In some ways, she was her exact opposite in every way, and Setsuna would have to be blind not to notice how well they balanced each other out.

But did that mean she loved her? She didn't know. Was the emotion just not there? She genuinely couldn't tell. The dominant thought she had where Asuna was concerned was mainly one of possession, and it was a startling realization. She wanted Asuna. She wanted no one else to have her. But she didn't want to be tied down to her. Maybe it was a strange kind of love Setsuna had for her, that she didn't want to hurt her by risking what they had with a relationship that could possibly destroy everything if it went bad?

Or maybe that was just her own sick way of justifying stringing her along?

She didn't want to think about that. Not right now.

What about Konoka? That girl was a mess, plain and simple. Setsuna truly wanted nothing more than to help her with whatever struggles life threw her way, even if that meant standing by her side throughout her entire life. Somehow, without warning or notice, this had become more than a job to her. If she got fired today, she would be there tomorrow, checking up on her and carrying on as if nothing had happened. Of that, she was sure.

Wiping her tears away, Setsuna tried to regain her composure before she went in to see Konoka. It wouldn't do to have Konoka worrying and questioning her.

Taking a few deep breaths, Setsuna steadied her shaky breathing, before entering the room.

Asakura looked up when Setsuna entered, and her face was unreadable. Setsuna knew she must look like a mess, but she tried to retain whatever shred of dignity she still might have possessed, and walked over to the chair beside Konoka. Konoka looked up at her and smiled.

"Everything okay?" She whispered.

Setsuna shrugged, unwilling to go into detail with Asakura here. The spiky haired girl intuitively picked up on the reluctance, and slapped her leg decidedly.

"Well, I'm gonna go down to the cafeteria and get something to drink, and check up on Konoka's mom. You want anything, Setsuna?"

Setsuna shook her head, and without a sound, Asakura was out of her seat and out the door. Only the gentle clicking of the door latch against the striker signalled her departure.

There was silence for a few seconds, before Konoka smiled at Setsuna again.

"Hold my hand?" She asked softly once more. Setsuna couldn't deny her. Didn't want to, either, so she reached out and grasped her hand firmly.

"How did it go?" Konoka asked, breathing quietly.

Setsuna shrugged. "Not well." Was her somber reply.

"Would a kiss make you feel better?" She whispered.

Setsuna's eyes widened, and a mild blush came to her cheeks at the thought.

"Th-this is neither the time nor the place for such a thing!" Setsuna said, unable to stop her gaze from trailing down to Konoka's teasing lips.

"That wasn't going to stop you earlier." Konoka countered. "Besides...I kind of want to see what it's like to be kissed."

" But..."

Asakura will be back soon..." Konoka teased, a smile on her face.

Setsuna thought about it, and although she felt a stab of guilt when Asuna's face flashed through her mind, she was at the same time comforted by the fact that she could at least feel that for her friend. With that confusing, non-sensical thought in her head, she leaned forward and gently caressed Konoka's cheek.

"Are you sure?" She whispered, their lips inches away as Setsuna stared deep into her eyes.

Konoka nodded. "I told Asakura while you were gone...that being near you makes me happy. Isn't this the next logical step?"

Setsuna answered her by gently pressing their lips together, closing her eyes as she focused on giving Konoka her first and hopefully, best kiss of her life.

Slipping her fingers gently through her hair until she carefully cradled Konoka's head in her hand, she tilted her head to the side and pressed her lips against Konoka's in slow, gentle kiss. Konoka's lips were soft and yielding against her own, submissive to her will as Konoka's hand came up to grip Setsuna's arm, fingers digging into her skin as she moaned softly.

A few seconds later, and Setsuna had to pull away before things got too heated. The feel of Konoka gripping her tightly, head tilting back and lips gently succumbing to her every desire was almost too much.

Sitting back in her seat, Setsuna stared at Konoka as Konoka stared back. There was silence for a moment, then Konoka slowly licked her lips.

"Well...I can't believe I've been missing out on something like that for so long." She whispered, reaching out and touching Setsuna's arm.

Setsuna smiled, and placed her hand over Konoka's.

"It...was good?" She asked.

"I liked it." Konoka replied softly.

Setsuna smiled. "I'm glad."

They spent a few more minutes in silence, just staring at each other with naught but their own private thoughts, as Setsuna's thumb traced idle circles on the back of Konoka's hand. After a few moments, their peace was interrupted as the door quietly swung open.

"Hey, Setsuna, it looks like we're being kicked out for now. Konoka needs her rest. Or so I've been ordered."

Setsuna nodded without looking up from Konoka, then slowly stood. Finally tearing her gaze away from the porcelain-skinned girl, she turned around. Moving toward the door, she followed Asakura out, pausing to turn around and wave.

"See you later, Konoka." She said. Konoka smiled widely at her.

"Can't wait to see you again, Setsuna!"

And with that, the door was closed, Setsuna once again alone despite the people still surrounding her.

It was a terrible feeling.

Asakura could plainly see that Setsuna was upset, and as she shifted from foot to foot, she contemplated what to do. She didn't know Setsuna well enough to try to cheer her up, or even to offer to hang out with her...Against her better judgement, she decided to leave Setsuna to her own devices.

"Uh...thanks for letting me know about Konoka." Asakura said, figeting with her cell phone. "Well, I gotta go now. Um...bye."

With that, Asakura turned around and began walking away, glancing back over her shoulder to see Setsuna move over to the bench outside of Konoka's room and sit down on it. The last thing Asakura saw before she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight was Setsuna's shoulders shaking as Setuna began crying once more.

She felt bad, but there was nothing she could do, right?

888

Asuna grimaced as she stepped out into the bright sunlight. She had gotten a ride from Kaede once more, but the girl had taken off, saying she had some things to take care of. Now, she was stuck here for a while. She could always call a cab, but...that was expensive. Not that she couldn't afford it, she just didn't want to if she didn't have to.

"I really need to get myself a car." She grumbled, walking down the sidewalk, kicking at stray pebbles and grasping at any thought that crossed her mind to keep the ever-threatening tears at bay. If she let her thoughts linger on Setsuna for too long, she would most definitely break down.

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind, and she smiled crookedly. That was an option, at least. Although it was definitely the most unexpected one.

Looking down the road for oncoming cars, Asuna jogged across the street. She knew where she could go until she could go home.

Setsuna's house wasn't all that far from here, and Asuna knew where Setsuna hid the spare key.

A/N; Well. It only took 21 chapters, but they finally had their first kiss! Talk about taking their time! And wow, even though I knew it was coming, Setsuna's introspection even surprised me a little bit. She is not a nice person anymore :O Reviews are appreciated. And the next chapter may be a little...smexy? Only I know for sure! Nyaha!