"You are not to lay a finger on the Amity or I will be the one to hand out your punishment and trust me, you'll be begging for me to make you factionless after that. Do I make myself clear initiate?!" Kenny mumbled a disgruntled 'yes sir' before Eric threw him to Four and Blaze. "Get him out of here. Put him in the infirmary or to the docks for all I care, just get him out of my sight," Eric barked at them. "Everyone else go back to sleep. You all still got training tomorrow morning. As for you," he turned towards me.
I slowly and quite fearfully walked towards him. Once I was within arms' reach, he yanked me out of the dormitory, slamming the door shut behind us and sulked off to God knows where. We didn't even go anywhere near the Chasm, the hallway where his apartment was, or even close to his office. We actually climbed up some stairs and walked up a couple more levels. I finally realized where we were going. It was off to the roof where we boarded the train to go on the capture the flag game. Eric continued to pull me along until we finally reached the edge of the roof and he dropped my arm. I rubbed where he had his death grip on me and waited for him to turn around and look at me.
"Am I going to get punished for starting a fight with Kenny," I asked quietly when I noticed that he wasn't going to start talking. Eric let out a somewhat cynical laugh.
"You started that fight?" He still didn't face me.
"I threw the first punch."
Eric turned and the look on his face told me he wasn't pleased.
"Why can't you just leave well enough alone? Why Ana? Is this some game to you? Is this some way to prove that you're not weak? I already told you Kenny is dangerous! And I know you said that you could handle yourself but don't you see what could have happened tonight?"
"Eric, I was fine."
"No, you weren't. I saw how scared those two girls were when Blaze bought me to them. They were scared, not just for themselves' but for your safety too, Ana! Stop being so reckless! It doesn't help me any when you're like that."
"Help you? How am I supposed to help you with anything?"
"You should be making things easier for me!"
"Easier how," I questioned. "Like your job?"
"No! That's not what I meant Ana!"
"Well, it sure sounds like it!"
"Argh," Eric growled and then started to pace.
I was leaving him frustrated, over what? After a few minutes of him huffing around, he finally stopped and stood directly in front of me. I could still tell he was furious.
"I just want you to follow the rules. For once, Ana, just leave the other initiates alone, especially Kenny."
"I can handle..."
"No, you can't. He's too dangerous! That Candor said that he knocked you out cold!" I heard him release a breath. "I just want you safe."
I turned to look at Eric. His voice suddenly sounded soft, tender, and caring. It finally dawned on me what I was making complicated for him. It wasn't his job. Four was right about Eric being interested in me. However, he wasn't just 'interested' he was starting to care about me. How can he care about me when I was constantly putting myself at risk?
"It's nothing," I replied softly. He closed his eyes and let out frustrated huff.
"That was something. The other initiates had to tie him up to keep him away from you. Ana, don't treat this like it's nothing."
"I said I'm fine. I'm not some silly, weak, little girl from Amity."
Eric stepped closer and ran his hand down my cheek. "I'm sorry about the fear simulation last week. I didn't mean to think of you as being weak." Did I hear correctly? Did Eric just apologize? "There was something that I thought I saw in," he started but then paused staring into my eyes. He shook his head. "It doesn't matter anymore. I know you're going to make it through initiation already, Ana. Stop trying to prove yourself, especially outside of training."
I nodded as Eric pulled me to him. He started to lean in as if to kiss me. I placed a hand on his chest.
"You've been ignoring me ever since my first simulation," I whispered. "You think I'm going to let you kiss me and be okay with it?"
"Yes, I do," Eric replied and then roughly brought me to him and kissed me hard. The intense kissing went on for what seems like hours. Eric's hands gripped onto me. It sent shock waves through my body.
"Eric," I sighed as he started to suck relentlessly on my neck. He backed me up into a wall and lifted me up easily.
"Say my name again," he growled.
But I couldn't. His hands, his lips, his touch, they were all leaving me breathless. He trailed kisses down my chest. I stifled a moan. Eric growled again when I didn't say his name. He pulled me back a little and then slammed my body into the wall as he attacked my neck once more.
"Say it." His hands traveled endlessly throughout my body. He gripped his hand on my butt and squeezed hard as he bit somewhere on my neck.
"Eric," I finally screamed.
He pulled back, smirked, and then pressed our lips together again for a hard and deep kiss. He stopped after what seemed like an eternity and slowly let me drop from the wall. Eric was breathing hard as he brought his forehead down to mine and rested it there.
"I really don't appreciate it when you put yourself in danger, Ana," he whispered after a minute.
"I'm fine, Eric," I said moving my hands slowly up his chest and then looking up at him. "I always made it out of this type of situations since initiation started."
"Ana..." I could hear the irritation in his voice.
"Fine," I relented. "I'll play it safe."
"Thank you," he whispered and gave me a soft kiss.
"Anything to make your job easier," I said rolling my eyes, knowing he would like that.
"Still so disobedient," he chuckled and kissed me softly again. I found these kisses to be more toxic.
"I think I should head back to the dormitory, unless was there some sort of discipline you're supposed to hand out for me acting out tonight?"
Eric continued to smile, kissed my forehead, took my hand, and lead me back inside.
"I think you've learned your lesson. Although, anytime you feel the need to see me," he said smiling. "My office is always open."
He chuckled while wrapping his arms tenderly around me. I turned in them to hit him playfully. Then it hit me. He was being playful and sweet. I looked up at him and then quickly tore my eyes away. Eric wouldn't always be like this. Come the morning and it wouldn't be Ana and Eric. It would be an initiate and a leader.
"Ana," he said gently. But I refused to look at him. I knew. Somehow I just knew that all of this would be gone. I didn't want to chance it. Taking a chance in enjoying this when I knew this would end. "Ana," Eric pleaded. There was such a kind tone in his voice that I looked up. "Is everything okay? You seem..."
"I'm okay."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm just tired. I really should head back to the dormitory."
Eric sighed unconvinced, yet led me back to the room. He assured me he just wanted me to be safe and I assured him that I would be as he dropped me off outside the doors to the room. He quickly turned on his heels and made his way back to his room, without a kiss. There he was, the real Eric. My heart almost broke right there. How did I come to like him so easily? When I walked in, everything was quiet and everyone seemed to be sleeping. So I climbed into bed and went to sleep as well.
We had gotten not just that night but a second night of sleeping in the dormitory without Kenny being there. We had not even seen him at training the next day. Four stated that Blaze was handling it when I had asked. I thought it odd that he wouldn't show up for training but I let it go. We seemed to be cheering up without his presence.
"Let's go! Wake up," shouted Four, waking us up on the second day without Kenny.
"Crap," muttered Noah trying to climb out of bed.
"You've been here for nearly eight weeks initiates," continued Four. "You should know this by now. You got two minutes!"
"Two minutes, two minutes," I muttered getting out of bed.
Hec looked over at me and smirked. Whenever Uriah and Peter woke us up it was always five or sometimes they were generous and it was ten minutes. I wanted to ask Four what in the world was up with just giving us two minutes. I let out a small laugh too which proved to be my mistake.
"What was that initiate?" I turned to see Eric glaring at me.
"Nothing, sir," I bit back and rolled my eyes. How I hated that we were on one day and off the next. I really liked...
"You know why I'm doing this, right," Eric's voice said from right behind me, interrupting my thoughts. I felt him trail his finger slowly down my back.
"No," I sassed. "Perhaps I need to be sent to your office."
"So tempting," he growled in my ear, squeezed my hip and then disappeared. I turned to see him walking, un-phased, and still intimidating the other initiates into getting ready for the day.
"Please be careful." Scott jumped down from his bunk with a serious, yet hurt expression.
"I will," I assured him as I finished getting dressed.
We walked towards the simulation room laughing like nothing. Think positive thoughts, I guess. Noah was cracking some sort of joke. Hec was talking about a whole bunch of nonsense. When we had gotten to the room, we immediately quieted down. Kenny was there with arms crossed, totally upset. He didn't look my way rather he just continued to stare at the floor.
"Where did you go yesterday," asked Noah. We all turned to look at him. "What, I know you all are wondering about it too."
Kenny scoffed. "Like you missed me anyways," he mumbled and put his head back.
"Congratulations initiates," announced Eric. "Today I have to step away for a few conferences," he stated.
"And what does that mean for us," I sarcastically rolled my eyes.
Suddenly Eric was right in front of me with an arm against the wall right next to my face as if he was boxing me in. I gulped. Like seriously how could he just turn into something so deadly that quickly?
"That means that all of you run simulation today, even the ones who went yesterday. Do I hear any complaints," he stared at me but everyone else just murmured 'no'. "Since the Amity decided to speak up, she can start you folks off," Eric ordered as his eyes scanned me up and down. Our eyes met before he licked his lips and then left.
"Let's go Ana," called Four. "Blaze, we're going to need help."
"Help for what," asked Mina.
But it was too late. The door was closed on us.
"Wait," I said holding up my two hands. I closed my eyes and shut them tightly. "This is my third time. I can do this," my eyes still closed.
I heard movement and just when Peter's hands pulled back my hair, I jumped.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this," I screamed.
"What's going on," asked Blaze.
"Amity over here is afraid of needles," said Peter as he stalked around me and tapping the syringe in his hand.
"Great," sighed Blaze. "Is that why you called me?"
"She put up a mean fight the first two times," chuckled Uriah.
"I'm glad that you folks find my fear of needles so entertaining. Just give me another minute." I closed my eyes again and tried to slowly breathe in and then exhale. It was of no use. The second the needle poked my skin, I turned and pull it out quickly before Peter could inject me. "I'm sorry. I can't. I don't want it, Mom!"
"Mom," questioned Blaze.
"I'll explain it once she goes under," stated Uriah who started laughing again.
Just then Peter wrapped his arm around me and held me tightly to him. I tried to elbow him, kick him, anything to get him to let go but he continued to hold me.
"Help," he finally called out.
"Of all the times Eric decides to not be here is the day that Ana has to go under," Uriah complained.
Uriah tried to hold my arms behind my back and Blaze gripped onto my legs while Peter got another syringe ready to go. I continued to call out that I would be a good girl and I wouldn't use bad words anymore. Blaze started to chuckle as they wrestled me to the chair. When they had me somewhat contained, Four came, titled my head for Peter to get better access and held it still.
"Got it," Peter said out of breath as I felt the needle pull out from my neck. My body relaxed and everyone slowly stepped away. I had a feeling that this was going to be a constant battle, me and this needle.
"I'm assuming from the constant 'I'll be a good girl' shouting that this happened to you a lot in Amity," teased Blaze. I looked over to him and saw him smirk.
"A whole lot, yes," I responded.
"Now, Ana, you can relax. You already know to calm yourself down," started Four. "Control your breathing. Keep your focus. And Ana," Four called. I opened my eyes. "You are Dauntless."
It was cold around me. Why in the world was it cold? I slowly opened my eyes already afraid of what I would see. But I couldn't see anything. Everything was black. Was it dark or was I blind? I couldn't really tell, just yet. Just then a light come on and shined down on Blossom tied up in the corner crying.
"Blossom," I yelled. The person holding me started to laugh.
"Don't worry, you Dauntless brat. If you cooperate, your friend won't be made factionless."
I knew that voice. I turned around to see that it was none other than my brother Jonathan.
"Why are you doing this? You're my brother!"
"Faction before blood," he laughed and slapped me hard so that I fell down. "Now tell me who is it?"
"Who is what? I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't lie to me JoyAnna," he picked me back up and shook me a little. "Tell me or your friend over there isn't going to last long. Just like those other traitors," he shifted my body and I saw Mina, Ace, Hec and Scott all bloody and beaten on the opposite end of the room.
"Why are you doing this Jonathan?"
"Don't talk to me like we're friends JoyAnna!"
"We're more than friends! We're family!"
"Not anymore," he snarled. He turned and motioned for someone to step out from the darkness.
"Jimmy Bean!" I struggled but Jonathan held me tight. "How dare you Jonathan! He's our little brother! He's only five years old!"
"Like I said," Jonathan snarled. "Faction before blood." Jimmy was crying.
"It's okay Jimmy. We're going to get out of here!" He cried even more. "Jonathan, please let us go!"
"Tell me!"
"I don't know what it is that you want from me!"
Jonathan turned me around and slapped me again. Why did this sting so much? This wasn't real. That's right! I looked at Jonathan. He wasn't real. I shook my head. I had to get out of here.
"Tell me who it is! Tell me," he shook me.
"Never," I shouted as another slap came down on my face.
"Fine," he spat as he let me go and walked over towards Jimmy. I stared in shock as he picked up our brother and slapped him also. I had never felt so much rage for my brother before.
I stood up quickly and tackled him to the ground.
"Ah," I screamed as I once again threw myself from the chair and onto the floor. I opened my eyes and looked around the bright room. It wasn't real, I repeated in my head. I was in Dauntless.
"Ana," Peter said softly as he was again the first one to come to my side.
"What the hell was that," I asked.
"I'm not too sure," Four answered. I got up, gripping onto Peter's hand and then turned to face Four. "That was too quick, Ana. You were in there for only five minutes. And the way you got out. Your heart rate was fast, everything screamed for you to stay in the simulation, I don't understand."
"Where did Blaze go," I asked realizing that he was gone.
"Four had him watch everyone outside, just in case," Uriah answered.
"I'm kind of glad, considering how this went," said Four. "Peter, will you show Ana out the back way?"
Peter nodded and led me out the other door.
"I would have saved her Pete," I said turning towards him. "If I knew what Jonathan wanted, I would have told him to save her."
Peter looked away for a brief second and then back at me.
"You don't know who he was asking for?" I shook my head. "Well, that could just be a fear. He did keep saying 'faction before blood'. Perhaps you're scared that because he transferred to Erudite and that you're here in Dauntless that he would take whatever Erudite expects of him more seriously than his own sister."
"I guess," I looked away.
"You going to be okay," he asked as I nodded. "Hey, um," Peter cleared his throat and looked uncertain.
"What is it," I asked.
"Eric told me this morning to watch you," Peter admitted. "I think that he's actually concerned about your well-being and your safety."
"Shut up," I said turning to walk away from him.
"I'm serious," Peter shouted. I stopped, rolled my eyes, and turned to face my cousin. "He said two nights ago that Kenny attacked you and he just wants you safe. He wants to know not just if someone physically attacks you but also if they disrespect you in any way. I need to either deal with that person myself or find a way to end said person. Of course he threatened me by saying that if I ended up harming you or insulting you like I did the first day of simulations that there would be hell to pay. I think someway somehow you were able to make that Dauntless leader of ours care about someone other than himself."
"He's hardly said as much to me," I said softly remembering how he acted on the roof.
"Eric never will. He's not like that." I let out a sigh. "Do you care about him?"
"I don't know Peter. He makes me feel good..."
"Too much information," Peter interrupted me. I started to laugh.
"Not like that. Well, I mean we have..."
"I really don't need to know what the two of you have or haven't done." I held back my laughter and nodded. "Just be careful, okay?"
"Of course," I nodded. "Can you keep an eye on Eric for me?" Peter titled his head. "I know he's planning something and I just…"
"No."
"You don't even know what I was going to tell you."
"Ana, it's too dangerous and I know what you're thinking. You can't stop them. That's it isn't it? You're trying to stop whatever Jeanine Matthews is doing by getting involved with Eric?"
"That's not true." Peter eyed me out. "Okay, maybe it is and at the same time it isn't. I don't know what my feelings are towards him because he never shows me his true feelings. He cares about me one day and then the next despises me. He leaves me confused and you can tell him that if you want. I want to like him but he doesn't let me."
"And his plans for Dauntless?"
"I was told that he is trying to convince the leaders to come into an alliance with Erudite and I want to stop that. It is what's best," I commented. "But I don't plan to hurt Eric. I just want to be there for him if he lets me."
"So you are using him?" Before I could say anything, Peter put a hand up to silence me. "Ana, Eric is not one to be messed with."
"I've been played before. I want something serious. As far as I'm concerned I'm not messing with him."
"Be careful," Peter warned. He turned and walked back into the simulation room.
I walked out towards the Pit and waited for the next initiates to finish. I was kind of shocked when I saw Blossom coming out. She looked a little scared when someone bumped into her.
"Sorry," she said and then kept walking towards our usual hang out.
"Blossom," I waved my hands. Blossom let out a sigh of relief and came running towards me. "What was it this time?"
"I was naked and all the guys were laughing at me."
"Oh Bloss," I said as I hugged her. "Who was it so I can punch the living daylights out of them?" She started to giggle. I pulled back and smiled.
"Peter almost walked out to go and find some of them," Blossom stated. "Uriah had to calm him down. He finally admitted that I was his sister, in front of Four, too." Blossom started smiling.
"I'm kind of jealous that you have your brother here with you. I don't have anyone to look out for me, like you have Peter."
"He does so much for me, I know he has a lot on his plate, yet he's always there for me."
"I know with your brother, even just a little 'thank you' would suffice," I offered and she smiled again. We hugged and then noticed the next initiate to come out.
"Dude, I am so going to kill him when I see him," said Ryan coming by us.
"Kill who," asked Blossom.
"Noah. In my fear simulation he kissed Mina."
"And," Blossom questioned.
"And she liked it!"
"I should have said 'so'," said Blossom. Ryan looked confused. "As in so what if she kissed him in your simulation."
"Mina was my first kiss."
"Wait what," I asked.
"She was my first kiss. My first actual crush and Noah went behind my back and kissed her!"
"It was just a simulation," Blossom stated.
"Besides Ryan, you have nothing to worry about. I believe Mina only has eyes for you," I said starting to laugh. Even guys get insecure once in a while.
As time went on, everyone started to come out slowly. Kenny came out somewhere in the middle of the group and came to sit down by us. Hec and Don made small talk with him but other than that no one really conversed with him. Despite everything that he did, I felt a little bad for him. I couldn't help but think that he was possibly another Eric or even a Peter in the making. Someone who was just a little misunderstood. That was quickly vanished when Kate came out.
"You bastard," she yelled at Kenny and slapped him. Tammi and Kimber pulled her away and Don went to see if she was okay.
"He must have been in her fear simulation," said Scott sitting by me.
During dinner that night, something unexpected happened.
"Hey, initiates," a tray was set down next to me. I turned to see a handsome guy sitting down and smiling at me. "Ana, right?"
"Well, that depends."
"On?"
"On whom you are."
"Forgive me," he said smiling again. "My name is Diesel."
"Argh," I groaned.
"Oh come on, you don't even know me."
"No, I do. I've heard quite a lot about you actually."
"Nice to know I'm in the dreams of you pretty girls," he flirted. I rolled my eyes and turned to continue eating my food.
"Get lost," Beth ordered.
"I actually came here to see," he paused and turned to the guy who was sitting on the table next to ours. "What was her name again, Gage?"
"I think it was Rose."
"It's actually Gardenia," said Elena. I tried to stifle a laugh.
"Gardenia," Diesel repeated.
"Average height," Mina started to describe Blossom. "Black hair, fair skin, has greenish brown, almost hazel looking eyes."
"Yes," he answered. "But that name doesn't sound right."
"That is her name because she has pink Chinese gardenias tattooed on her leg," Mina responded. This time all of us had to hold back laughter.
"That's right," Diesel said like he reached an epiphany. "Gardenia," he said slowly almost dreamy like. "Well, have you folks seen her?"
"No," I answered.
"Perhaps I can just talk to you then," he flirted while touching my side. I pushed his hand away and he looked sad.
"How odd that I don't want to talk to you though," I said turning away from him.
"I believe you do want to talk to me."
"She doesn't though," said someone standing behind us. I looked up to see none other than my brother Jonathan. What the?
"Excuse me Erudite," said Diesel standing. "But who told you, you could come here?"
"I did," answered Eric standing next to Jonathan. I gulped and turned in my seat. "Unless there's anything else you want to ask the initiates, I believe I heard one of them tell you to GET LOST." Eric started to growl and 'get lost' was exactly what Diesel did. "Follow me, Ana," Eric ordered.
"You'll be okay," said Mina leaning towards me.
Although she didn't know what was in my fear landscape. Is that why Blossom didn't make it to dinner? Oh dear God, my fear simulation was coming true. I slowly got up and refused to look at my brother. I stayed behind them with Eric and Jonathan standing side by side walking towards Eric's office.
Is this it? This is where they're going to lock me up and demand to know who the divergent is. This is where Blossom is tied up, defenseless, crying. I almost turned and run, but by the time that thought came into my head, we were already in front of Eric's office. He opened the door and motioned for me to walk in first.
"What's going on," I asked once Jonathan and Eric came inside and the door shut.
"JoyAnna," a weak voice called out behind me. I turned and saw someone I was hoping I wouldn't see. It was like I was reliving my fear simulation.
"Jimmy Bean," I yelled towards him as he ran and jumped up into my arms.
As I squeezed him tightly, my eyes searched frantically on Eric's desk. There has to be something here. Something I can use to defend myself or at least protect Jimmy. I grabbed a small throwing knife on his desk and whirled around. Eric and Jonathan immediately looked confused.
"What is he doing here, Jonathan?!"
"JoyAnna, relax," he said putting up his two hands and taking a step near me.
"No! You stay right there. I swear to God, Jonathan if you so much as hurt Jimmy I'll cut you one right here, dammit!"
"Why would I hurt Jimmy?"
"Faction before blood," I yelled back. Eric took a step. "That goes for you too, Eric. Stay away."
"What's going on," another voice called out. I turned to see Jensen and Joshua there looking just as terrified.
"The hell Jonathan," I spun back around. "Whatever it is you're planning on doing, leave them out of this! I don't care if you're some high official now in Erudite, I'll end you if you hurt anybody here!"
Eric let out a sigh and put his hands down. "Ana, what was in your fear simulation today?" I pointed the knife at him and slowly backed away. "Ana, whatever it is that was in there, this is not what's going on right now." He walked slowly to me. "Come on, we're going to put the knife down and talk. Something important happened and we need you to focus now." I looked at Jimmy in my arms and then quickly back at my two brothers. "They're fine, see," Eric tried to coax me. "Everyone is fine, Ana. Put the knife down, no one is getting hurt."
I looked into his eyes and something told me that it would be.
"Eric," I asked.
"I give you my word, Ana."
I had never seen Eric so calm. He was yelling at us this morning. He had me pushed up against a wall and looked so deadly. In this moment I trusted him though. I put the knife down and pulled Jimmy back.
"Jimmy, are you okay?" He nodded. "I'm sorry," I murmured as I hugged him again. I gently put him down and Joshua and Jensen cautiously walked up to me and hugged me.
"You scared us," Jensen murmured.
"I'm sorry," I whispered as he pulled back. "So, what brings you all to Dauntless," my voice was quiet and still.
"JoyAnna," Joshua's voice sounded sad. "We... we came to bring you back to Amity."
"I can't go back. I chose to transfer here. I live here now. I belong here at Dauntless."
"You have to come back with us," encouraged Jensen.
"The only way I'll leave, if I leave is if they make me factionless."
"That's why I came to see Eric," said Jonathan. "He agreed that you can leave tonight. He'll postpone training as much as possible. He can buy you maybe two days, three at the most. But after that you'll have to be back in Dauntless. No one must know. It'll get too suspicious if you're gone longer. That's why we'll take you away as we are."
"I don't understand. What's going on?"
"JoyAnna, Dad's spirit is no longer with us," said Jensen as he laid a hand gently on mine.
I quickly pulled it back. I knew what that meant. Dad, my dad, was dead.
"No, you're lying. He's in the field somewhere. Did you folks even try to look for him? He wasn't killed Jens. Don't tell me that," my eyes started to water.
"JoyAnna," Joshua repeated.
"No," I shouted. "You two are lying." My voice was starting to disappear. "Don't do this to me now. I swear don't you dare tell me that. Don't," I whispered right before the tears started to fall.
"Jonathan is taking you back to Amity, Ana," said Eric. "You should go see your Mother and your other brothers."
"You're kicking me out," I asked him.
"No. I know you would want to see your family and that your mother would want to see you." Something in his eyes looked soft and genuine.
"I can come back to Dauntless then?"
"Like Jonathan said, I worked it out for you. I've had fear simulations cancelled for now. But you can't take longer than three days, do I make myself clear? That's the most I can give. Go and see your family, Ana."
"Can I speak to Eric alone?"
"JoyAnna," asked Jonathan.
"Please," I looked towards him. He nodded and ushered our three brothers outside. Eric and I stood there for a moment. "Eric, thank..."
"Don't," he said raising his hand. He stepped forward and ran his hand down my cheek. I felt him gently wipe away some tears. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, which I can only guess had a tear on it. "You come back to me," he whispered. I pulled back and stared at him. "You come back to me," he said louder and looked me straight in the eye. "Do you understand?" I nodded and he pulled me close for a deep kiss.
It was like he wasn't going to see me again. He poured every single feeling into this kiss and I thought I would end up never leaving Dauntless, his office, or him. There was hurt, passion, anger, and joy all rolled together in a way that Eric, and only Eric, could kiss me. When it finally ended, he leaned his forehead to mine. He was risking a lot by letting me leave to visit my family, I knew that much. Hell, he risked a lot letting Jonathan bring the boys here.
"I'll see you in two days," he said softly.
I didn't say anything because my voice was gone. Eric had left me speechless and motionless during this time. Hell, I couldn't even nod. Eric gripped my arms on the side, kissed me softly one last time and then led me out the door.
"Go and see Abigail on the third floor of the loading dock offices. She's the only one stationed up there. She'll help you and your brothers get out without anyone seeing you. I'm going to head to the control room to make sure the footage in here the past half hour is deleted."
"Is that all really necessary," asked Jensen.
"Jonathan here is one thing but to see three Amity dependents here, that makes it necessary," Eric answered. "I can see your sister isn't the only inquisitive one in the family," he said as he ran his hand down my cheek again. I could see Jensen looked a little uncertain about Eric's hand touching mine but no one else questioned it. Eric looked at my brothers and then took off down the hall.
"Where to," asked Jonathan.
I picked up Jimmy Bean and ran the other direction leading them towards the loading docks.
"Watch your step," I told them as we walked down a narrow staircase by the Chasm.
We took two other hallways that I recognized when we sneaked out with Hec to ride those parachutes. I had to make sure that we wouldn't be seen. I couldn't walk pass the training room or somewhere highly populated by Dauntless. Eric was right. An Erudite, three Amity, and one Dauntless initiate would cause suspicion. Hec told me once that the cameras here weren't recorded on a live feed, so that should help Eric remove whatever is seen.
The second we reached Abigail's floor, she walked out of her office. "Abigail," I called out to her. She smiled and ushered us to follow her down the hall. She handed me a backpack.
"When you return keep this backpack with you, it will help you if you get stopped by a Dauntless guard. In there is the time schedule for the train. Be on your way back here before nine o'clock in the morning."
"Thanks, Abigail," I said putting on the backpack and then hugging her.
Abigail led us down another hallway.
"At the end of here, is a long underground tunnel, which should lead you to your brother's car on the road not far from the outskirts of Erudite. Not too much know of this, so I suggest..."
"That we tell no one. Got it," I said nodding. "Abigail, why are you doing this? I don't even know why Eric is doing this."
Abigail put on a small smile. "There are very few initiates, transfer initiates that I like. I thought you a silly and stupid girl at first when I heard of you. And then seeing you in action, I remembered that I was once like you."
"Once like me," I questioned, not quite fully understanding.
"I'll tell you when you return. As for why Eric is doing this. Although I hope it's not true, from what I've heard, he's taken a liking to you as well."
"He hasn't said anything."
"And he probably never will. Men like Eric are hardened, believe that the world is theirs," she said as she gently held my braid. "But there will always be one, that one woman that completes his world, the missing day to his night."
"Missing day," I eyed her out. "That's an Amity reference."
"You best be going," she hugged me again. "Take care and hurry back safely." I pulled away, nodded, and left through the tunnel.
It was dark and a little damp.
"I'm glad we didn't have to get on that horrible train again," said Jensen. I started to laugh and to my surprise so did Joshua.
"Why," Joshua asked. "I thought that was fun."
"That was irresponsible and highly negligent on Eric's part to suggest we get into Dauntless that way," commented Jonathan.
"Of course, you would think that," I told him.
"What is that supposed to mean," he asked. Even though it was dark, I could almost see him standing up straighter. I let out a giggle.
"Whoa, our sister just giggled," laughed Jensen. The three of us started to laugh.
"What's so funny," asked Jimmy Bean. I ran my hands along, until I found his small hand and then scooped him up.
"Jonathan is a bookworm and your sister is reckless," I said as I blew raspberries at him. He started to laugh.
"I'm glad you're coming back with us JoyAnna," said Joshua. "Mom has been asking for you non-stop. We didn't think you could leave, but Jonathan said he would be able to pull some strings with leadership."
"Of course he did," I rolled my eyes.
Once we were out, Jonathan's car was a couple blocks away and we ran towards it as light was starting to disappear completely in the sky. Erudite looked so bright though. I knew we weren't completely in Erudite but the lights still shined brightly here. I stood outside the shiny gray car.
"You know how to drive that, don't you," I said looking at Jonathan.
"Are we scared, Dauntless," he teased. I stuck out my tongue at him as we all climbed in.
"I got shotgun," screamed Joshua.
"What? Who has a gun," I asked. Jonathan chuckled as Joshua laughed.
"No one has a gun," said Jensen.
"Then why did Joshua say that he has a gun?"
"It's not an actual gun. It's a form of speech. I said I got shotgun, because I'm sitting in it."
"Sitting in it?"
"That's what they used to call riding next to the driver," said Jonathan. As we drove towards Amity he continued to tell us. "Before they had cars, they had something called carriages or coaches."
"Like those in Amity," asked Jensen.
"Exactly like those," Jonathan stated. "Horses would pull them along just like the ones in Amity. Sometimes they carried important people, letters, or even material possessions. People would attempt to rob or steal from the carriages. So someone rode alongside the driver and was given a shotgun to protect the driver and whatever the carriage had inside. It became a popular phrase for whoever wanted the privilege of sitting next to the driver."
"It's like the second in command sits right here," said Joshua as he wiggled his butt in the seat.
"The person who sits there then, it must be a high honor for them," I said.
"Yes, it was for those who originally came up with the phrase. In time it stuck and people used it in reference to sitting in the front of the car next to the driver," answered Jonathan. "It is like you have a higher status because you're helping the driver."
"If it's a higher status, then why is Joshua sitting up there," I teased.
"Funny," he said as he pushed a button.
"Ah," I let out a scream as hot air hit me. Jimmy Bean and Jensen laughed. "What was that?"
"That was the 'shotgun' using his privilege to quiet those in the backseat," said Joshua. He pushed a button and the air started to cool again. I shook my head and rolled my eyes.
We arrived at the border of Amity and Jonathan parked the car. I rather had ridden a train. We quickly hurried down the lane to our house, well their house. I almost hesitated at the door for fear it wouldn't open, like in my simulation. But Jensen walked right through so I entered behind him.
Salmon, I sniffed it out. Mom was making salmon. Fish was always Dad's favorite. It was something we ate only on special occasions.
"Mom," I called out.