Spring 1968...
After Jo and I spent one afternoon together, she persuaded me to ride with her to fetch Soda home. When we pulled up in the yard of the ranch, Jo got out confidently, heading for the nearest barn; she'd been here before. I followed, slightly nervously, holding Jay tight.
There was more noise than I'd expected, especially the worrying kicks against stalls - plus snorts and snuffles all around - as Jo strode through and out the other end, looking for Soda. I glanced around in case one of the horses was escaping. Jay was very interested, babbling excitedly and pointing at the two or three horses who stuck their heads over the surprisingly flimsy doors of their stalls.
"Me hug hoss," he announced, stretching out his little arms towards a huge brown head. I was telling him 'no' when a voice said,
"Oh, old Princess won't hurt him none, if he wants to pet her."
I turned around. "Barratt?" It was him, complete with cowboy hat.
"Evie? What in the world...?" he said as I asked, "What're you doing here?"
Barratt shrugged. "Work here, of course. My uncle runs the show. I told ya, this is the family place? Must have, back when." Damn, I'd never put two and two together when Soda talked about 'Mac's ranch'. I never even thought to check if it was 'MacIntyre's'. Barratt looked curiously at Jay. "This ain't...?"
I shook my head. "This is my step son." That didn't really help, he still blinked in surprise. So I told him Steve and I were married and that I had Jay living with me.
"Steve Randle, Soda's friend? I know him. Raced him, over to the drags, once or twice." He nodded at me, smiling broadly. "Well, hell, sweetie. Congratulations!" As he kissed me on the cheek, Jo came back in.
"Hey, Barratt," she said a little suspiciously. "You two know each other?"
"Sure do." He grinned. "We go way back, huh, Evie?"
I nodded as we laughed about the fact that we'd never realized we had a connection through Soda now. Jay was almost jumping out my arms by this point.
"Can I?" Barratt took him from me. "Now, little cowboy, this is how we do it." He held Jay's little hand and patted the horse's nose gently. Then he slid Jay's hand along the horse's neck, talking to him about how to be gentle as he did it. Jay was overjoyed and babbled to the horse, smoothing it enthusiastically.
"Lookit, Vevie. Me hug hoss."
"I see ya, JJ." I nodded, taking him back from Barratt, still nervous.
Barratt chuckled. "Don't tell me, you still never got near one of these things?"
I shrugged. "Still ain't a whole lot of 'em, around my neighborhood."
"That don't seem to hold some people back," Jo commented. "Where is Soda, anyway?"
Barratt led us around the back of the stable, to where there was a corral off to one side. Soda was riding. That doesn't do it justice. This wasn't any scrappy bronc battle, to be counted in seconds. That always seemed to me, the few times I'd been near a rodeo, like a fight between man and beast.
Soda was flying. He was curving the horse from one end of the corral to the other, in fluid movements that kind of melted him and the horse together. And he was laughing.
Eventually he slowed the horse and walked it over to us, his face lit up in a smile that I hadn't seen in a long while.
"Hey, baby." He blew a kiss to Jo, said 'hi' to me and Jay.
Jay's eyes were huge. He leaned out of my arms. "Soda hoss and me," he said urgently, meaning he wanted to get up with Soda.
"Not this one, little buddy," Soda said. "He's got a mean streak." I stepped back from the fence, warily.
"Seems like you got his number," Barratt told him approvingly. Soda gave a modest shrug and patted the horse's neck.
"Soda!" Jay was demanding loudly.
Soda shook his head. "No. Not this one." Jay pouted.
"Find him another one?" Barratt offered. "We got some real cute little kids' ponies."
I said no thanks. I was pretty sure Steve would come home expressly to skin me, if I let Jay on the back of anything horse shaped.
Soda climbed down, taking the horse's reins with him and made his way to the gate at the end of the corral. His limp was immediately obvious and I realized why he'd seemed so happy, so free, while he was riding. Jo went with him to do whatever you do to put horses away.
Barratt squinted at Jay who was winding up to a tantrum over the horse. "Kitties," he said suddenly. "You wanna see some kitties, little bud?" Jay shut up about the horse.
We went over to another barn and Barratt showed us a litter of kittens in the straw. Jay was beside himself with joy, petting them enthusiastically as they tumbled over his legs, once we sat down.
"I thought you weren't gonna work the family business?" I remembered back when we dated, Barratt telling me that he knew horses but wasn't needed to run the ranch. He had three older brothers.
He twisted a piece of straw. "Yeah. Well. Things change. Ray and Joe...well, one got in a car wreck and one got the draft, but the result was the same. Gary's still here, but between you an' me, he ain't no good with stock. He can do the books, but that's about all." He pulled a face. "I was working twenty four seven before Soda came by."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know, about your brothers."
"No reason you should, sweetie." He shook himself. "Life goes on, huh?"
On the ride home, Jo asked how I knew Barratt, of course. When I said we used to date, I saw Soda shoot me a surprised look. He could be as suspicious as he liked; I wouldn't ever tell anyone the details. I owed Barratt that.
Soda eased his leg, with a wince that didn't escape Jo's attention.
She shook her head. "I ain't sure this is doing you any good."
"It don't hurt when I ride. It only hurts when I stop," was his stubborn reply.
xxXxx
One year. The day in June that marked one year of Steve being in Vietnam rolled around. I stared at the space on the calendar like I could burn it with my eyes.
If he came home today, he'd be safe. Maybe he wouldn't be home, he'd be in Fort Wherever, but he wouldn't be there. Wouldn't be in the jungle. Wouldn't be somewhere people wanted to shoot him or blow him up or...
I hadn't watched the news since forever. But every camera shot I'd ever seen, before Steve went away, was welded into my memory whether I liked it or not. The grainy, black and white images of soldiers became living Technicolor in my dreams, where Steve was always just ahead of me in dense jungle and I had to find him, but my legs wouldn't move, in that way that happens in dreams.
That was what I woke up from, what Two-Bit heard and what he'd lied to Soda about, when he worried about Jo coping when he was drafted. Sometimes I didn't even wake up fully, I just cried, found my pillow wet in the morning.
That night though, the dream was particularly vivid and I threw the sheet off me and walked out the bedroom, wanting to be physically away from the fear and the loneliness and the rest of it.
I cussed, none too quietly, in the kitchen as the faucet sprayed me. For some reason it occasionally slipped full on, even if I only turned it a little. I yanked at it with the dishcloth to turn it off.
"I'll fix that." Two-Bit yawned. He'd been promising that for weeks. I rolled my eyes.
"I ain't holdin' my breath."
He sat down at the table with me. I sipped my glass of water. I wasn't really thirsty, but I needed something to do, something I could pretend to myself was the reason that I was up in the middle of the night.
"He's gonna be okay, Tink." Guess I wasn't fooling anyone. Two-Bit shrugged. "I know it stinks, but we know why he's doin' it. You have to trust his choice."
I couldn't answer. Part of me was disappointed with myself though, because, truthfully, as much as I loved him and missed him, I was also angry with Steve. It seemed like such a gamble, like the draft all over again, to choose another three months in Vietnam over a safe eight months at home.
He was going to miss Jay's second birthday.
I tried for a grateful smile, I knew Two-Bit was trying to be as positive as he could.
"He just wants out." He regarded me with steady gray eyes. "That's what it comes down to. He wants to be back here, with you, as quick as he can." I nodded. "So, all we gotta do is let September come around. And he'll be here." He rubbed his chin. "Now, on that topic. I been thinking. Maybe I should fix up the apartment over the store. 'Cause I ain't itchin' to be a fifth wheel when you two get to play house at last."
Apartment was stretching it as a description. As far as I knew, it was a couple of rooms and a sink. Currently full of the junk that wasn't even nice enough to go in the store.
"You wanna come by, help me see if it's live-able?"
I nodded.
xxXxx
We went over the next Sunday.
I asked Two-Bit if he wouldn't just move home again, when Steve came back. He shook his head as he unlocked the side door, that led up over the store.
"I may give a good impression of being a mama's boy, but comes a time, Tink, for a guy to get out on his own. I figure twenty one is that time."
Two-Bit Mathews's being twenty one and a responsible adult seemed like a contradiction in terms. He also claimed that alcohol had lost its taste, now that it wasn't illegal for him to drink it, although it didn't seem to have put him off altogether.
"I'll miss you," I said, unexpectedly sad at the thought of not having him around all the time.
"Yeah, me an' my dirty socks."
I grinned. No matter how often I did the washing, there were always dirty socks around the laundry basket. Around, not in – Two-Bit would never have made a good basketball player. Balled up socks, too, which meant someone had to unroll them or they wouldn't get clean. That someone usually being me.
But compared to everything he'd done for me, and for Jay, dirty socks were a small price to pay.
Two-Bit was carrying Jay up the stairs. Jay would have taken forever on the steep climb. He was whining though and insisted on being put down once we reached the 'apartment'.
There were more rooms than I remembered. At the front there was a big room, currently full of boxes, but which would make a great bedroom, because there was a tiny but functional bathroom off of it. The tub was filthy and the toilet seat had disappeared, but the water was on.
At the back there were a couple of interconnecting rooms for living space. There was no obvious kitchen, but Two-Bit seemed to think he could fix something up. He tried to open the window which looked to be painted closed.
Jay beetled off into the next room and I followed him, on watch. But it wasn't Jay getting into trouble or breaking something that made me call Two-Bit to come see. Someone had been up here, recently. A space had been cleared to one side, some candles standing on a plate, on a upturned crate. There was a mattress on the floor – the wooden bed frame was stacked against the wall, in pieces. Next to the mattress were a few empty Pepsi bottles and a crumpled pack of Kools.
"Pony!" Jay declared, recognizing the labels as he jumped on the mattress. Two-Bit and I laughed. And then we stopped and frowned at each other.
"Anyone else got a key?" I asked casually. Two-Bit shook his head.
"Nah, Elle's got one to the store, but not up here. I got the only one. But that wouldn't stop anyone I know."
There was a sudden giggle from the stairs, followed by an urgent 'shh!'
"Are you sure you locked it last time?" came a whisper.
Two-Bit motioned me to stand behind him, as I scooped Jay into my arms. He reached into his back pocket, then as the door at the top of the stairs pushed open slowly, he relaxed and let go of his switch. I peered around him.
"Pony!" Jay let out a happy yell, proved completely right.
Ponyboy looked equal parts embarrassed and annoyed.
"Who is it?" asked a voice from behind him.
"Took the words outta my mouth," Two-Bit snapped, beckoning Pony forwards. He stepped into the room, closely followed by a girl in a rocking pair of pink hot pants. Her eyes went wide and she tucked behind Pony, chewing on a strand of her long hair.
Pony beamed a suspiciously familiar grin. "Hey, guys, how's it hanging?" Dear God, he looked like Soda when he tried that. Jay babbled at him.
"And this'll be the part where you snow me about your reasons for sneaking into my property?" Two-Bit was laying on the 'stern adult' real thick. I stayed quiet to see where he went with it.
"Ain't really yours..." Pony started to object, then backtracked quickly as Two-Bit's expression did not lighten: "Aw, Two-Bit, we was only..."
"Homework!" the chick blurted.
Two-Bit snorted at her in disbelief. "You in summer school, sweetheart? 'Cause last time I passed the high school it was kind of...summer..."
"Yup. Ponyboy's my tutor."
Pony winced at this.
"Is that so?" Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow. "How come you don't got books with you?"
"He don't need 'em, he's so smart, he just asks me questions." She looked quite pleased with herself for that answer, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"I'll just bet he does."
"What're y'all doin' here on a Sunday anyway?" Pony sighed. He slid his arm around the girl, giving up all pretense that they were there for anything other than what we assumed they were there for.
"I'm getting it ready to move into." Two-Bit smiled wickedly. "Real nice of you to volunteer to help me clear it out and clean it up." Pony opened his mouth to object but Two-Bit continued smoothly. "That is what I'll be telling Darry, when we discuss you being up here, right?"
Ponyboy Curtis rolled his eyes and muttered something to the effect of his being practically seventeen years old and not afraid of his big brother anymore. Two-Bit just chuckled.
"Well, alrighty then. 'Cause he's on his way to help me with these window frames..."
Pony shot an involuntary glance at the door, his expression making it perfectly clear that everything he'd just said about Darry was complete bull.
Two-Bit winked at me.
A/N: Since I've always had Barratt in the background (at least in my head) I thought I'd post a little of his and Evie's back story. It's called 'Lonely, But No One Can Tell.'