Author Notes: Wow. I think I updated faster than the usual, right? YAY! Well, I'm finally done with my part-time job last Monday, which means I finally have more free time to focus on writing. *throws confetti* I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. Thank you so much. Your comments are truly motivational and I'm amazed and overwhelmed that a lot of people are still keeping up with this fic, even though I think I messed it up. *awkward chuckle* Thank you for all your support and patience. I hope you will also like this chapter and if you think this is the end because that's what I said in my last update, well I lied. The next chapter will be the real last chapter because if I would really try to end this story in this chapter, it's going to be a very, very long read. *sweat drops*

Anyway, before you begin reading, just some words of warning. This chapter might be a little bit confusing to understand. There will be a constant shift of tenses from past to present, different font format and cheesiness. A whole lot of cheesiness and oh, let's not forget the OOCness I injected in Grimmjow's badass character. *shifts nervously*

So, just remember:

Sentences in this format is Ichigo's thoughts in present tense form.

Sentences in this format are Grimmjow's and other characters' dialogues.

Sentences in this format are flashbacks.

Fuck. That was one long note from me so I'm gonna stop rambling now and let you guys read. Hope you like it and please tell me what you think.^^

Thank you to my wonderful readers: xTkx / Symbol of forever / Ramecupmiso / alliefan / Sleepless-Souls / fujiwarakoharu / Grimm-SemeXIchi-Uke / Phoenix Dysis / Death to Bunny / Forbidden Kawaii Chan / Hollow Ichigo-Ichigo / Axel's Roxas / meka18 / lot-o-luv13 / Myra Cifer / oxogreenappleoxo / Curiosity Killed Kristy / cccccCc / BlackXloveBlueXblood / Enigma180 / TheLPaddict / Boogermeister / the-freudianslip / OfeliaWolf / Shizuka Namura / Mayuzu / Ali Midnight / Ikorose / Deb Coop / Klaanvdia / Yami-no-Tamashii / shillanna / kittykatrawr / shadowX101

Beta Reader: Keadeblue264, who never gets tired of helping me. *hugs her tightly*

Warnings: contains yaoi/homosexual relationships between men, bad language and OOCness. I swear, I might have turned Grimmjow into a real depressed prick in this chapter. Sorry. :(

Disclaimer: Kubo owns it. If I do, Grimmjow and Gin will still be alive.

Chapter Twenty:

In this white world

As I opened my eyes, all I could see was white, all I could hear was silence and all I could feel was... nothing.

I can't feel anything.

It's like I was trapped in some white room that seemed to have no ends or corners, like I was floating in empty space, drifting in nothingness.

What happened?

Where am I?

Why am I here?

I can't really remember.

I tried to think, tried to remember who I was or what happened before I woke up here, but there was nothing. I couldn't remember anything.

Why can't I remember anything?

I closed my eyes again, hoping to see darkness, but white still assaulted my vision. I tried to scream or at least think I did, but stark silence was the only sound that tore through my throat. It was weird. Really weird.

Am I dead or something? Am I in heaven? Or maybe in hell?

Why am I here?

What is this place?

I had no idea.

"Ichigo."

A deep voice suddenly surged through the invisible walls of this pallid dimension, stirring my slumbering thoughts awake. Actually, I couldn't tell if I was asleep or awake. It was difficult to tell when all you could see is white. It was hard to know when you couldn't even hear the sound of your own breath nor the beat of your heart. But maybe I had awakened, or all along, maybe I was awake. I wasn't really sure. I probably thought I was asleep because my ears couldn't perceive anything and that faint echo was the first thing I had heard in this white abyss, the only thing that piqued my interest and made me believe that I was not alone here.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ichigo."

The voice said and it sounded so beautiful, like the rustle of leaves falling and moving with the autumn breeze, yet it was sad... heavy... and full of sorrow.

"Ichigo."

Ichigo?

Who's Ichigo?

Do I know him?

Why are you calling him?

Who are you?

I continued to listen as the delicate voice kept on chanting, uttering the same name so softly, so gently, so lovingly and yet so longingly, over and over again.

The voice echoed again through my ears, waking up my senses, startling me a bit. I had no idea how long I waited for it... longed to hear it again. But this time, it wasn't alone. There were other voices... from people whom I also couldn't see and didn't know. One was another male, his baritone a bit huskier than the beautiful voice I'd been hearing, and there were kids... two of them... their tone was high-pitched... maybe girls.

"W-when will he wake up? Do they know?"

"They can't tell. Even I can't tell. It might take weeks... months... years."

"But he will wake up, right?"

"Yes. I hope so. I really hope so."

"Ichi-nii, will wake up! He has to!"

"Yuzu, calm down. I'm sure, he'll wake up soon. Don't worry."

Deafening silence filled my achromatic world once again as the voices stopped speaking, as if they were in despair, as if they were stuck in an awkward, horrifying nightmare that they couldn't fight back and could only respond to with dead air.

"I'm sorry. I... I didn't want this to happen to him. I didn't want him to get hurt because of me. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, Grimmjow-kun."

Grimmjow... so that's his name.

Such a beautiful, beautiful name but why are you in deep pain?

"When will you wake up, Ichi?"

Grimmjow's asked one time, his voice still tainted with ache and sadness.

"Wake up. Please, wake up."

He pleaded for the hundredth time. Every word that he said, every syllable and letter that he whispered were like knives that repeatedly pierced through my entire being. Listening to him was similar to being tortured slowly to your death, and yet I couldn't stop myself from hearing him out, from wondering why he kept asking this Ichigo to wake up and why I could hear his begging requests.

Is it because I'm a part of Ichigo?

But how come I can't remember anything?

How come I can't remember you?

"Come back to me." He begged once again. "Please come back to me, Ichi."

"Do you know what day is today?" Grimmjow asked, his voice sprinkled with a touch of happiness and excitement that I hadn't heard from him before. "It's your birthday, Ichi. Your dad and sisters will come later. They said they have presents for you. Szayel said he'll bake you a strawberry cake. You like that, right? And Yoruichi said she'll drop by after her work's finished. I have a present for you too, Ichi. But I won't give it to you... I won't until you open your eyes and wake up. You want to see it, right? You want to know what it is, right? I know you do, so please open your eyes, open your eyes already so you can see it... Please, just... wake up. Wake up, Ichigo."

His voice never failed to flow soothingly through my ears. If I were to give an estimate of how often I heard Grimmjow talking to Ichigo, I could say he did it every single day, as often as he could. On very rare occasions it sounded happy, joyful, even teasing, but most of the time it sounded sad, an obvious sign that he was suffering great pain. This time, however, it sounded different. Grimmjow was distressed, angry, defensive... scared.

"It has been two years, Grimmjow-sama. Don't you think it's about time to-"

"Stop! I don't wanna fucking hear it! No matter how many times you spout nonsensical shit like that I won't hear any of it! Leave me the fuck alone! Leave!"

"The doctor said he might never-"

"No! Get the fuck out of here, Szayel!"

"Grimmjow-sama."

"Don't you dare fucking say it!"

"Please understand, Grimmjow-sama-"

"You're the one who doesn't understand! He's still gonna wake up! He's still alive! He's still breathing! His frigging heart is still beating! He's just in a very deep sleep and he's going to fucking wake up!"

"I just can't take seeing you like this anymore! You've been waiting for him for two years! You've abandoned everything, your job, your health, even your own welfare! I know Ichigo is important to you and I know you're blaming yourself for what happened to him but you just have to accept the truth! He's not going to wake up anymore! He's already a vegetable! He's a living corpse!"

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up! I don't care if he's already a vegetable like most of you say! I don't care if you all believe him to be already dead! He's still alive for me and I don't give a flying fuck even if I have to wait till I fucking die! I won't leave him! I'm not going to leave Ichigo!"

I felt his agony flowing through me like like wildfire and it made me want to scream in pain as well, scream in pain with him because the wounds it inflicted were deep, the kind that leave horrible nightmares and excruciating cicatrices. I wanted to do something for him, embrace him and ease his pain. But what could I do? I was trapped in this colorless universe and I didn't know how to escape.

Three words would fall graciously from his lips from time to time.

"I love you."

And in those extraordinary moments, the urge to leave this place strengthened. I wanted to tear through this vast sea of whiteness and go to him, embrace him, protect him from further pain and relieve him of his misery. But how could I escape? How could I achieve freedom from this dimension of emptiness? I couldn't see an exit or a way to get out, not even a small dot. Staying in this lonely place was such a terrible torture, I started to think that maybe I was actually in hell and that listening to Grimmjow's beautiful baritone was my punishment.

I figured he was usually a moody person and the littlest of things set him off. His tone was usually mad and furious, but today, it seemed as if it was worse. His voice was heavy with fury and in every inhale and exhale of breath that he did, impatience and hopelessness were fully evident from it.

"Why won't you fucking wake up? Don't you want to see me anymore? Don't you want to be with me anymore? You said you're going to stay with me! We were supposed to be together! It has been three years, Ichi! I've been waiting for three fucking years! I still want to fucking wait for you! I really do! I promised I would, didn't I? But..."

But what?

"God, I'm getting tired. Hopeless. I can't take it anymore. I want to see you... with your eyes wide open and looking at me. I want to hear your voice, talking to me, calling my name, screaming fucking obscenities at me or nagging at me. I want to... I want to feel you, feel your hands touching my skin, your warmth embracing me. Goddammit, Ichigo! I need you! I fucking need you! Don't make me wait any longer! Please, wake the fuck up! Wake up!"

Then, the erratic sounds of his heavy breathing filled my prison, as if he was waiting... waiting for any response from Ichigo whom he had been talking to for ages.

"Still nothing? You're really not gonna wake up? Are you really going to sleep like that forever, Ichi?"

The light of hope that used to shine in his deep voice slowly faded and died as he sobbed, the sounds of sorrow he created cruelly ripping me apart and breaking me into little pieces. Tears started to form around my eyes as I heard him weep, letting out his frustration and misery in low gasps and strangled groans.

No.

Please, don't lose hope.

Even though I don't know Ichigo, I know he needs you.

He needs you.

I need you.

Don't give up.

I miss his voice.

I miss Grimmjow.

I miss him so much.

After his terrible episode of rage and anguish, I hadn't heard him speak since then. Had he really decided to stop seeing Ichigo? Had he become tired of calling his name and begging to come back to him? Had he finally given up on him? Such scary, unimaginable thoughts... They were so frightening it shook my world and my pitiful existence. I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want him to give up. I wanted to hear and listen to his voice forever. I needed him and yet I had no idea how to reach him.

Come back.

Please come back.

I want to hear your voice again, Grimmjow.

I didn't know how long I waited for him to come back and hear his voice. It was difficult to tell how much time had passed by in this place. But I continued to wait for him, still hoping that he would return and would start talking to Ichigo again.

But it has been so long and even If I didn't want to, I was starting to lose hope.

Why?

Why did you give up on Ichigo?

Why did you leave me?

This bleak world continued to remain bleak and as I stayed here, I felt suffocated, restricted, miserable. It was a prison worse than the fiery pits of hell. I floated around and slept, slipping in and out of consciousness, waiting for something that might never come back.

"It's been a long time."

My heart suddenly fluttered violently inside my chest as that familiar ray of sunshine vibrated through the invisible walls of this white prison.

Did I just hear that?

No. That's impossible.

My ears must be playing tricks on me.

"I missed you..."

Something exploded violently inside me, something heavy shattering into so many pieces I felt like I was going to experience a third, or a fourth, or maybe my thousandth death. But it was strange... so strange because instead of pain, happiness and joy filled my heart and soothed my oppressed soul.

You came back.

"Sorry I had to leave, Ichigo."

Like the sound of birds I remembered the outside world possessed, his voice proceeded to spread happiness through my achromatic world, making everything lively again as if he never left.

"Do you remember the novel I was writing three years ago? I finally finished it. Surprised? I know you'd get mad at me because it's already way past the deadline. But after what happened, I just couldn't find the strength to continue writing it. I didn't know how to when I saw you in this... dreadful situation. I couldn't function. I couldn't think properly. I... just couldn't live without you. That's why I went away... because I was scared. I didn't know how to live in a world where you don't exist. I pretended that I didn't meet you, pretended that you didn't exist in my world so I can continue living, but I was stupid, so fucking stupid because even when I tried to bury our memories together in the deepest parts of my mind, the sound of your voice and the taste of your lips were still deeply engraved in my chest. And the next thing I knew I was opening my laptop and was writing how much I missed you and wished that you were here with me. Do you remember why I didn't want you to see or read it back then? Because that novel is about you... It's about you and me. It's our story, Ichigo."

After that, he began to read the novel he wrote, gradually adorning this colorless world with descriptive words and adjectives that were filled with passion and love in every sentence and paragraph. He began to tell his and Ichigo's story and I felt alive while listening to it. And for the first time ever since I woke up from here, I felt clouds touch the pads of my feet, like I was walking in the sky, bouncing happily on its soft surface as I danced to the sound of his voice.

I want to hear more.

Please tell me more.

Please continue painting colors in my world.

He started by telling how he met him and what he felt the first time he saw Ichigo. Then narrated about how he seduced the man to fall for him and how he wanted to spend so much time with him, he forgot about his job and dragged him to go to spur-of-the-moment vacations, and how he finally conveyed his feelings for Ichigo.

"The woman who they wanted me to marry, she's from a rich family that owns one of the largest shipping companies in Japan. My parents said she's the perfect girl for me because of her standing. I say they just want to get richer so they whore me off to her. I've only seen her once and that was during the surprise engagement party because I ran away from home after that."

"Is she pretty?"

"Yeah, I guess she is. I remember, she has this long orange hair, big doe eyes and really huge breasts. But you're way sexier than her… and smarter."

"But I don't have big breasts."

"Fuck, Berry. I don't love you because you have big breasts."

"Wait! Say that again!"

"Say what?"

"What you just said a while ago."

"I don't love you because you have big breasts?"

...

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No! I just can't believe you said that."

"Said what?"

"That you love me!"

He continued to speak of his wonderful tale, every word that bounced against the walls of this blank dimension continually splash bright colors around my vision, slowly forming pictures, creating beautiful images that one could only see in the real world.

"You do know that you can't be with that man."

"I don't give a goddamn fuck. Don't you dare touch Ichigo again and stay the fuck out of my life!"

"How could you say that? We're your parents. And this old man is right. You can't be with Ichigo-kun. You're supposed to marry Orihime. The preparations for your wedding is seventy-five percent completed. We just need to settle a date, choose a nice suit and beautiful wedding gown for you and your fiancée, do the food testing, send out the invi-"

"How hard is it to beat into your fucking skulls that I'm not going to marry her? I don't care about the wedding. If you want her to be part of your fucked up family so much, then why don't you fucktards marry her yourselves? Leave me the fuck alone And don't ever go near Ichigo again!

"Grimmjow, calm the fuck down!"

"How could I when I almost lost you back there!"

"The fuck are you talking about? I'm right here! You didn't lose me!"

"I would've if I didn't come on time! What the fuck were you thinking, leaving the house without even telling me? I told you so many times to never do that but you just don't listen! Look at what fucking happened! My parents took you and they probably beat some stupid crap into your head for you to break up with me! If I hadn't asked Szayel to stalk you, I wouldn't have known that they sent Aizen to kidnap you! And you, like the stupid idiot that you are, willingly went along with him just because you wanted to meet my parents! Do you have any fucking idea how I felt? You scared the fuck out of me!"

"They know. Everyone knows. The media will be all over this and they're not going to leave you alone."

"For fuck's sake, get a grip! Everybody knows about that damn engagement, so what? You know it's not gonna happen! You worried that this might affect my career, then I'll stop writing! I don't give a rat's ass about anything as long as you're with me! Beat that into your fucking skull!"

"I just don't want to see you hurt!"

"Do you see me hurting?"

"N-no."

"You worry about things way too much! If you're scared about me getting hurt by people, you don't need to. The only person who has that privilege is you, got it?"

As he kept on flipping through the pages of his novel and the endless space of white became a canvas of colors and beautiful scenes illustrating the events in his story, memories slowly ran inside my head, washing away my doubts and fears, clearing questions I'd been mulling over ever since I woke up from this place. As every scene and chapter unfolded, I started to...

"Ichi."

"What?"

"You'll go with me wherever I go, right?"

"W-why are you asking me that?"

"After all this shit is through, I'm going to take you with me to Sweden."

"If this is another one of your spur of the moment vacations just to piss Yoruichi off, I am not going with you. You still have a book to finish and I'm not an object or slave that you can bring anywhere you like."

"What made you think it was for fucking vacation? Look, I don't want my parents to continuously bug us after we get rid of my fiancée. I'm sure they'll pull up more shiteous tricks just to break us up and I don't want to fucking deal with them anymore so I've decided to leave this fucking country and move to Sweden with you."

"W-why in Sweden?"

"Seriously, you're so fucking dense sometimes, Ichi. Why do you think I chose that country?"

"Because it's a beautiful country?"

"No, you fucking idiot! Because I want to fucking marry you!"

"W-what did you say?"

"I. WANT. TO. MARRY. YOU."

Remember...

I remembered everything. I remembered him. I remembered everyone that was part of my life. I remembered why I was in that place and what brought me there. The person that Grimmjow kept yearning and calling out for was me. All along it was me and I felt so stupid for not seeing or realizing that earlier. Of course I was a part of Ichigo because I was him and he had been in a very deep sleep for a long time now.

I want to go back.

I need to go back.

I want to be with you again.

A smile slowly traced along my lips as I looked at the moments of my life beautifully painted around me, seeing thousands of pictures of Grimmjow with his piercing blue eyes staring back at me and his handsome face expressing a sincere, welcoming smile, telling me to wake up, to leave this place and go back to him.

It's time to go back.

I'm sorry for making you wait.

I'm coming back, Grimmjow.

Those were my last thoughts before I closed my eyes and touched the paintings on the once white wall.

Author Note: You know what? This chapter didn't turn out the way I wanted to when I imagined it so please forgive me if it sucked. It really is a killer because this story is written in Ichigo's POV and how the hell could I even write in his POV if he's in frigging coma/PVS (Persistent Vegetative State)? I tried to read some articles about these two conditions and man, were they difficult to understand. *slumps against a wall* Basically, a person in coma is completely unconscious and cannot respond to any kind of stimuli/pain, but a person in PVS is already over the coma stage and can respond to stimuli or be aware of their surroundings. It's like their asleep but their conscious. At least, that's what I understand from the articles I read in wikipedia. So, let's just say that Ichigo was in PVS and he was trapped in this dimension where he couldn't remember who he was or what happened to him while in that state and he only managed to get out of that state after Grimmjow helped him remember.

I know. That's so lame. Please kill me now and save me from further shame! TT^TT

And as for the length of time that Ichi was in a coma, as we all know, Grimmjow is a stubborn prick. I think he's not the type who would give up easily, so yeah. I think he's not gonna let anyone pull the plug and end Ichi's life as long as he lives, kufufufu.

So, I think I've rambled enough. I hope you didn't lose any brain cells from reading this chapter. Again, comments are love so please tell me what you think. You can also tell me to go die in a hole somewhere for what I did if you like. *nervous chuckle* I don't know if it'll take me time to update again, but hopefully, it'll be next week... if this chapter receives 30 reviews, kufufufu. *gets bricked* Thanks for reading! :D