A/N: Hi guys! Yes, I'm on a roll, so there's another update... earlier than expected, right? ;)

Thank you so much siophiefandom for doing the betareading, once again! You rock!

Trigger warning: this chapter approaches a sensitive subject (suicide attempt). If you don't feel comfortable reading about that, you should skip to the very end of this update. But don't worry too much though- you know how much I love our girls, so I will always take care of them in my fics. TeamPaily! forever!

Stanford - Mid July

Summer session had begun, and, not surprisingly, Spencer Hastings was already in her element. She had enrolled in four different classes, in fields as varied as marketing, comparative literature, political science, and even environmental science and technology - the only class she had in common with Paige. It was a busy schedule, but nothing a Hastings couldn't handle.

Paige had given her friend a grand tour of the Stanford campus, of course, and after a few days, Spencer had already found her favorite spots to study or simply to hang out with classmates. Stanford drew students from all over the country, and even some from abroad. It was a very stimulating environment, but the atmosphere remained relaxed - very Californian, according to Spencer.

"Is it like this during the school year?" Spencer asked Paige while they were having lunch on one of the many outdoor patios. "Do people always study outside? Why do they even have indoor libraries, then? I was at Cubberley this morning, and there was only one other student in there."

"Well," Paige said, "It's not too different during the school year. A lot of students like to study outside. But I suppose the libraries get some use, too, especially at night. Though I mostly used to study in my room, so I don't really know."

Spencer raised a brow. "You spent the whole year studying alone in your room?"

Paige shrugged. "Well, my roommate, Heather, was there, too, sometimes. When she wasn't out with friends, of course."

"You and your roommate weren't friends?" Spencer asked.

Paige sighed. "No, it's not even that. I mean... Heather and I... we got along. But... let's say that my social life was... nonexistent at the time," she said, dipping her head.

"And why was that?" Spencer asked softly, though she had a pretty good idea.

"It was... my decision," Paige said in a low voice, her eyes still focused on the ground. "After what had happened with Emily the summer before... I guess that I wasn't in the mood to mingle," she concluded with a shrug. "So, I basically withdrew into my shell."

"Hey," Spencer cut her off. "That's in the past, okay? This is a fresh start, for both of us."

Paige raised her eyes and shot her friend a small, but sincere smile. "You're right, Spence. And I'm so glad to have another shot at... the whole Stanford experience. With you here, to top it off."

"Yeah," Spencer grinned, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "It's gonna be a great summer. And a great school year after that, I'm sure. Oh, by the way, I think that I've chosen my major!"

"Already?" Paige asked. "Well, knowing you, I'm not so surprised, Spence. What are you thinking of?"

"Journalism," Spencer said in an excited voice. "My marketing professor here, Helen Lodge, also teaches print journalism and mass-media sociology during the year, and she's awesome. We've already had some very interesting discussions about media empowerment."

"I'm sure of that," Paige grinned. "And journalism, that's a great idea. I can totally picture you as a journalist. Spencer Hastings, the great investigator!" she teased. "Like that old movie, you know, the one with Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman, about the Watergate scandal... I don't remember the title..."

"'All the President's Men'", Spencer said. "Great movie, by the way. You know your classics, McCullers. I'm impressed," she teased.

"Well, you're not the only nerd here, Hastings," Paige retorted with a playful roll of her eyes. "And by the way, I remember now, I watched that film at the drive-in theater in Lakeport."

"Oh, that same drive-in movie where you and Emily had a very hot make-out session," Spencer smirked.

"Em told you about that?" Paige gulped.

"Yep, she did," Spencer confirmed, a big grin on her face. "And I'm pretty sure she told Hanna, too."

"Oh god," Paige sighed dramatically. "I sometimes forget that you guys tell each other everything."

"Not everything," Spencer smirked. "And by the way, Hanna is still a little mad at me for not telling her about what happened at UPenn right away."

"Really?" Paige asked, surprised. "Wow, Hanna can be tough sometimes. I experienced that first hand," she pointed out, referring to the way Hanna had reacted after the cheating. "Though they're two totally different things," Paige quickly added. "I had no excuse for what I did to Em, and you... you were not the one to blame, Spence."

Spencer shook her head. "I don't think it's that simple, Paige. We've talked about that before, and I told you: I accept my full share of the blame for what happened to me."

Paige was about to object when she suddenly caught sight of a petite blonde girl who was rushing towards them, a huge smile on her face.

Paige jumped on her feet, just in time for the girl to fall into her arms.

"Paige! Paige McCullers!" the blonde stranger squealed. "I can't believe it's you! This is crazy!"

Spencer looked quizzically between the two girls. Paige seemed to be baffled, but also a bit embarrassed, if the slight blush on her cheeks was any indication. And the other girl seemed a little bit too exuberant to be just one of Paige's acquaintances - especially considering the auburn girl had just told Spencer that she had hardly any friends at Stanford.

Feeling Spencer's eyes narrowing on her, Paige let go of the petite blonde and cleared her throat. "Um, Natalie?" she said, taking a step back. "This is Spencer. Spencer, this is Natalie. The friend I traveled with for a while, in Europe."

"Oh yeah, so you're Spencer!" a beaming Natalie said. "I've heard so much about you! I feel as if I already know you!"

"Can't say the same," Spencer couldn't help but retort. She glanced at Paige, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Paige did mention your name once or twice, though."

"Oh, okay..." Natalie said, the smile on her lips fading a little. Spencer narrowed her eyes at the smaller girl. She didn't want to be rude, but something about the newcomer was bugging her, and she didn't know what. The girl seemed objectively charming, not to mention very pretty, with her baby blue eyes and her freckles across her button nose.

"Um, Natalie,"Paige said in her husky voice, "It's great to see you, but, what are you doing here? In California, I mean?"

"Well, I'm seriously thinking of applying to an American college," Natalie explained. "And you spoke so highly of Stanford..."

"Yeah, but why.. why didn't you call me first?" Paige stammered. "We could... have planned something... I mean, I had no idea that you even were in the States."

Natalie pursed her lips and looked down. "Well," she said in an hesitant voice. "I didn't know you were here either, Paige. Last time we talked, you were seriously considering dropping out of college. You weren't even sure you were going to stay in California."

"Well, things have... changed," Paige said simply. "A lot."

Natalie raised her eyes to meet Paige's and asked in a soft voice: "For the better, I hope?"

"For the better," Paige confirmed with a small smile.

"Good," Natalie nodded.

The two girls stared at each other silently, until Spencer coughed and said: "Okay, so, how about a drink to... celebrate the happy reunion? This way I could learn more about you, Natalie," she added, taking the blonde girl by the arm, and ignoring Paige's pleading look.

Palo Alto - later that evening

Spencer took a last sip of her Bud Light and cleared her throat.

"So, Natalie, tell me," she began, her eyes fixed on the petite blonde in front of her. "You're Australian, right? So, how come you and Paige met in Europe, then?" she asked, in a prosecutorial tone very similar to that of Veronica Hastings, her lawyer of a mother.

"Oh, I'm half-Australian, half-French," Natalie explained. "My family was always on the move when I was younger, so my entire childhood was split between two continents. I try to take the best of both worlds, I guess" she said with a small wink.

"Uh huh," Spencer said without even the hint of a smile. "So, you and Paige first met in Paris, right? And then you traveled together for a while? How long? And where did you go?" she said, narrowing her eyes.

"Spencer," Paige intervened in a warning tone. "What is this, a cross-examination? What's your problem, exactly?"

Spencer turned her eyes to the auburn girl at her left. "What? I don't have a problem at all. I'm just trying to get to know your friend a little better," she said in a defensive tone. "And since you're barely talking tonight, apparently, it's up to me to ask Natalie herself about your... time together in Europe. You're okay with that, Natalie, right?"

The perky blonde, looking more and more uncomfortable, just nodded.

"If you have any questions about us, Spencer, go ahead! Spill it!" Paige said, her voice rising. "And ask me, instead of putting Natalie on the spot!"

"I... I'm fine, Paige, really," Natalie stuttered, fidgeting in her seat. "Um, does anyone want another drink?"

"No," Spencer and Paige both snapped at the same time. The tension between them was becoming so obvious that some customers had started staring at the three girls.

"O-kay," Natalie said after a beat. "I... I have to go to the bathroom, so..."

She got up and quickly headed for the bathroom, leaving a frustrated Spencer and an angry Paige behind.

"What the hell, Spencer?" Paige hissed. "Seriously, what's wrong with you tonight?"

"You tell me, Paige," Spencer said in a defiant tone. "You're acting super weird yourself. I mean, you should be delighted to see your friend, and you're clearly not. And it's as if you're... hiding something."

Paige looked away. "It's not what you're thinking," she muttered.

"Oh yeah? And how do you know what I'm thinking?" Spencer challenged.

Paige didn't answer but shook her head instead, her eyes still down. "...Whatever," she mumbled. "You can think what you want, I don't care," she added in a harsh tone. "I'm always the bad guy in your and your friends' scenario, anyway."

Spencer stared at Paige, her mouth half open, before letting out a exasperated sigh and getting up briskly. She grabbed her jacket and threw a five-dollar bill on the table.

"I'd better go, or I'm gonna say something I'll regret," she said. "Enjoy your night with your friend."

When Natalie came back from the bathroom a few minutes later, she found Paige alone at their table, her head buried in her hands. The petite blonde swiftly sat back down in her chair and reached for Paige's arm, patting it softly.

"I'm sorry, Paige," she said. "I didn't mean to cause any trouble between you and Spencer."

"You didn't," Paige muttered, her voice a little shaky. "It's not your fault."

"You didn't tell her, did you?" Natalie asked. "Spencer doesn't know?"

Paige shook her head. "No. Nobody knows, besides you and me. And it has to stay that way."

"Is that why you're acting weird?" Natalie ventured. "Are you afraid that I'd tell your friends?... Because I'd never do that, Paige. You know that. I made you a promise."

Paige sniffed and reached for Natalie's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"I know. I trust you. And I'm sorry for... for acting like a jerk. I guess I wasn't prepared to see you again."

Natalie shot Paige a brief but reassuring smile. "Yeah, I guess so. I wasn't, either. It's weird, though, Paige. It's as if we can't talk anymore now, and we used to be so close... especially after... you know..."

"Yeah," Paige said in a low voice. "What we shared in Europe, it was..."

"...Intense?" Natalie finished the sentence. "You could say that. I will never forget that night in Berlin."

Paige let out a small laugh. "When you say it like that, it sounds as if we had... an affair. I'm pretty sure that's what Spencer thought, by the way."

"So what, would that have been so bad?" Natalie said with a playful roll of her eyes. "I'm a total catch. And you were single at the time, so what's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, I guess," Paige said with a half-smile. "Though we both now that it's not what happened... And, by the way, you're straight, Natalie."

The petite blonde shrugged. "Yeah, well, straight... that's a label.. and labels... they're overrated."

Paige stared at her friend, baffled. "You've switched teams?"

Natalie smirked. "Oh, you wish, McCullers. Sorry to disappoint you, but no. I still dig boys, and only boys."

"Your loss," Paige retorted with a wink.

The two girls exchanged a smile as they both relaxed in their chairs, the earlier tension now dissipating a bit.

Oakland - Later that night

When Paige parked her car in front of her house, she immediately spotted Spencer, despite the semi-darkness of the street. The slim brunette was sitting on the front porch, totally still, her arms wrapped around her knees. She was obviously waiting for her friend.

Paige slowly walked to the girl, a little guarded, and still feeling a pang of hurt after their fight at the bar a couple of hours earlier. The dim light from the porch couldn't hide how miserable Spencer looked. Paige's heart sank at the sight of the girl's pale face and her red, puffy eyes.

"Hey," Spencer said in a hoarse voice.

"Hey," Paige answered simply, before sitting next to Spencer. "You're okay?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"...Not really," Spencer admitted. "You?"

Paige shrugged. "Same," she said. "How... how did you get back home?"

"I called an Uber," Spencer said with a shrug. "No biggie."

"I... I really feel bad, Spencer. We've never fought before, and... I'm sorry for snapping at you at the bar."

Spencer shook her head vigorously. "No, Paige, I'm the only one to blame. I was way out of line, questioning your friend like that."

"Yeah, well...about that... what was going on?" Paige asked. "Do you blame me for... for something? Do you think that I hid things from you? About what happened while I was in Europe?"

"I don't know, Paige," Spencer said honestly. "I... I don't know why I reacted like that. But you know, I had this sudden feeling that... something had happened, between... you and that girl. Not that I'm implying that... " she quickly added. "And by the way, you had every right to... have a holiday fling, or whatever it was. You and Emily weren't even together anymore at the time."

"Absolutely," Paige said. "So, why were you so upset, Spence?"

Spencer sighed deeply. "I guess that... I felt a little disappointed. Betrayed, even," she confessed, stealing a glance at the girl at her side.

"Betrayed?" Paige asked, puzzled. "But, Spence..."

"Don't get me wrong," Spencer cut her off. "You're entitled to have other friends. Of course you are. But it's obvious that you and that Natalie girl shared something... something important."

"...Yeah," Paige said after a brief silence. "Yes, there's something between us. But it's not what you think, Spence. We didn't have an affair, or a fling. Natalie and I are just friends."

"But there's something there, though," Spencer stated.

Paige just nodded. The two girls stared at the quiet street in front of them for a minute.

"...You don't have to tell me, you know," Spencer resumed in a hoarse voice. "If it's your secret... yours and Natalie's... well, I can live with that."

"I..." Paige started, before letting out a puff of air. "I really wanted to tell you, you know, Spencer. I've tried. So many times. But I guess that I'm... I'm still afraid. You won't look at me the same way once... once you know," she said, dipping her head.

"Wow, it's that bad?" Spencer frowned. "What did you two do, break the law? Did you kill someone, or what?" she joked, in an awkward and failed attempt to lighten the mood.

At Paige's reaction - she didn't answer, but visibly stiffened -Spencer felt a shiver run down her spine. "Paige?..." she asked in a blank voice, already afraid of the answer. "Please, tell me, because now I'm fearing the worst, and..."

"Spencer," Paige interrupted her friend, "Natalie, she... she saved me. She saved me from... killing myself," she said, her husky voice breaking a little at the last words.

Spencer felt a pang of pain deep in her chest. "Paige, no..." she stammered. "How... when..."

"We were in Germany," Paige said, her voice now barely audible. "I was... I was in a bad place at the time. I know, I've always told you and Emily and everyone that my trip in Europe was awesome, and yes, I had some good times, but the truth is... I had some dark days, too. Very dark days. Days where I was feeling... very depressed, and so alone, and worthless."

"Paige..." Spencer said again. "I'm so sorry... I had no idea..." She reached for Paige's hand and squeezed it, immediately noticing that it was shaking.

"...And that day, in Berlin," Paige went on, "I didn't know why it happened that particular night, but well, I had been wandering through the city for hours. I had a lot on my mind, and I ended up on this bridge, just above a busy highway, and... and I was really close to... jumping from it. But before I could do it... I heard someone scream my name. It was Natalie... she had followed me there, and she talked to me that night on that bridge, she... well, what we said that night is between us, but, somehow, Natalie convinced me not to do it. She managed to convince me that life was worth living."

"My god, Paige..." Spencer said, at a loss of words. "I'm... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

Paige wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Well, that's a first,then, Hastings," she said with a strangled laugh.

"Yeah, well... I'm so grateful that Natalie were there, and talked you out of it," Spencer said. "God bless that girl."

Paige just nodded, her throat tight. She squeezed Spencer's hand back.

"And have you... I mean, was that the only time you tried..." Spencer resumed in a careful voice.

"Yes," Paige quickly answered. "And I won't do that again, Spence. I swear. I told you, I was in a dark place then, and... so much have changed since. Including me."

Spencer wrapped her arm around Paige's shoulders. "Sorry for pressuring you to tell me. I totally understand why you wanted to forget that night," she said, tightening her grip around her friend.

"Well, honestly, I don't think I can really forget," Paige winced. "But, at the same time, I don't want to. I mean, that was a... rough step, to say the least, but it... it also made me who I am now. If that makes any sense," she said, sniffling.

Spencer nodded. "Oh yeah, that makes sense. I totally see what you mean. And I'm glad you told me."

"Yeah, I am, too, but..." Paige glanced at her friend, a look of gravity on her face. "Spencer, you have to promise me that you will never tell Emily. Or my dad. They must never know."

"Of course, Paige," Spencer assured the auburn girl. "Your secret -and Natalie's- is safe with me. I'd rather die than tell... shit. Sorry," she said with a sheepish smile.

"It's okay, Spence," Paige said. "I know what you mean. And I trust you." She laid her head on Spencer's shoulder and closed her eyes, the exhaustion and the relief getting the better of her.

The following morning, Nick McCullers entered his living-room,and did a double take at the sight of his daughter and Spencer, both sound asleep on the couch, a blanket laid over them. The TV was still on, the credits of a movie rolling off the screen. Spencer's head was resting on Paige's shoulder.

There was an almost empty bowl of ice cream on the coffee table, along with some soda cans - and an opened bottle of Nick's favorite whiskey. The older man huffed and reached for the remote, turning off the television. He grabbed the bottle and took a close look at it. Much to his relief, it was still rather full. If Paige and Spencer had sipped his whiskey (and he could see that they had), at least they hadn't overindulged. Still, the living room was a mess, Nick noted.

"Twenty-somethings," the man mumbled, shaking his head. "They're worse than teenagers. And you can't even ground them anymore."

"What?..." a sleepy voice asked, and Nick, startled, turned his eyes to his daughter. Paige yawned and rubbed her sleepy eyes. "Hi, dad. We fell asleep," she said needlessly, before stretching out her right arm, the one that wasn't wrapped around Spencer.

"I can see that," Nick McCullers simply stated. "Is there something you want to tell me, Paige? About you and Spencer?"

"What?" Paige gulped, now widely awake. "No, dad, it's not... I know we fell asleep on the couch next to each other, but we're not... Spencer is just... you know that I'm in love with Emily, and..." she stammered.

"Relax, Paige," her father smirked. "I'm just kidding. What, you didn't think your old man could do that?" he added at Paige's bemused face. "Well, that's where you're wrong."

Paige stared at her father, a small smile dawning on her face. "I can see that," she softly said, reflecting on her dad's words. "And I like it, dad."

A/N: Sorry for the angst, guys. I hope that you liked the chapter nevertheless. Don't forget to review, please!