[Haunted]

Standing on the parapet at three am Helen Magnus knew that she wouldnt be bothered, oh chances were Henry was probably watching her on the security monitors unless like a good lad hed finally gone to get some rest after working so long on the repairs that the electrical entity had caused. Kate was likely asleep already or helping out somewhere and the only one that had truthfully probably given real thought to interrupting her solitude as she was lost in thought and had been for hours, emotions threatening to overwhelm her, was Will. As yet he hadnt interrupted her and she hoped he wouldnt, for well over a century now this was her place of thought and contemplation, where she could get insights and look out over the city shed sacrificed so much to protect. The tape recorder was running, she just didnt have it in her to write tonight and yet sharing her emotions even with the far-reaching winds was part of her ritual.

Not even I can be sure of his permanent departure at his sacrifice of teleporting without a destination in mind, I know only that John himself had told me more than once over the intervening years that it was dangerous to do so with no fixed destination. As head of the Sanctuary network and a physician I suppose I should be hoping that it was, that the women from this time forward and their families are safe from the rage that overwhelms him but I cannot be happy about his possible disappearance or even his deaththough I myself over the many decades have tried to kill him more than once.

Many over the years including my former fianc have called me brilliant, have marveled at the insights, cures, and theories Ive proven or come up with and yet tonight, this entire situation fills me with more than doubt. No one knows him or knew him better than I, at times that was not something I was more proud of and yet despite all Ive seen, my own feelings for the man and knowing how gentle he was when we first met and before the experiments that changed us I never once thought it possible that he was as much a victim of something else as any other creature under my care and protection. Ironically it was John himself who found out the truth, if I had not been forced to kill him and then to revive him again the creature would not have gone into the facility and we would not know.

Pausing to take a deep breath, pulling the shawl tighter around her arms as she felt the soft but chilly breeze flow around her a single tear rolled down the face of time dropping silently to the cement and concrete belowunseen and unknown.

I should have known, I should have defended him even against our friends and my own father who cautioned me about his murderous intentions. Of course I did not believe at first but seeing him covered in blood, the hatred and rage in his eyes as he slashed Mollys throat before me; my own pleas to let me try and help him and yet knowing in my heart I would be unsuccessful. Many failures have followed me through time but none more so than him, not just because of the women he murdered or that I did not see the monster that lurked within him but none more so do I feel than the mistakes I made with Ashley and the first ones I made with John.

Our future was to be so happy, so innocent, and yes perhaps what many would consider common and yet neither of us thought the sacrifices of the experiment would ask for more than we could give. Despite the losses, the sacrifices, the pain my sorrow alone is to never end and as I feel my former fiancs absence as keenly as my daughters. I could not have survived so much over the years without one or both of them, despite the rage that ate at both of them, they were and are familythey were what would see me through time and now I fear in only a few short months I have lost the only two centers of my universe I have ever known. I failed the both of them, in such immeasurable ways that I cannot even fathom how I can tolerate my own continued existence. But that is the part of the universe that is my curse, that no matter what loss I may suffer that I must go on and continue to live, to allow the pain and loss to consume me. If I could have only said goodbye, saved at least one of them but that was not to be. I am forever destined to be alone, in pain and hurting.

Wherever they maybe, alive or gone, whatever form they maybe I only hope that both Ashley and my precious love for all eternity find peace. John Druitt maybe a cold blooded murderer to history but to me he will always be my other half, my love, for all eternity.

Unable to say any more Helen Magnus slowly reached out and turned off the item, she could speak no moreher heart in pieces. For one brief moment, perhaps only a second, the woman considered simply stepping forwardone step would be all it took then if the stories of the afterlife were to be believed she, Ashley and John would be together again and perhaps able to become the family that her own desire of curiosity had cheated them all out of. The thought faded as quickly as it came however as a single word permeated the air from behind

Magnus.