CHAPTER 21
What Do You Get When You Kiss a Guy? Don't Tell Me What Is All About
You Get Enough Germs to Catch Pneumonia.
After You Do He'll Never Phone Ya.
I'll Never Fall in Love Again.
I'll Never Fall in Love Again.
'cause I've Been There and I'm Glad I'm Out,
Out of the Chains, the Chains That Bind You.
That Is Why I'm here to Remind You.
- Bobbie Gentry (I'll Never Fall in Love Again)
=/\=
A few weeks passed, and things seemed quiet. Bringing in HD Avery was less painful than Carmen had initially feared. He arrived on the promised day and the only odd thing he had asked for was the ability to play music directly through his implanted Communicator, straight into his left ear, if he so wished. Carmen had conceded the point, as soon as she'd extracted a promise from him that he would pay attention when he needed to. He had agreed, and so she was optimistic that he would be relatively cooperative. Certainly, he couldn't be any less cooperative and off-the-charts distracted as Levi.
As for Levi, he was still pounding away at the decryption. And now he was working alone, for Carmen had made it clear that he and the other engineers would need to work a lot harder and faster to get the Flux Capacitor up and running. Deirdre, being a sensible person, had dropped other things in order to devote her time to retrofitting Fluxy. Plus, she had a new boyfriend, and wanted to spend her time with him. It was in her best interests to work hard all day so that she could go out most nights. Bruce Ishikawa was far more appealing than any old decryption.
But Levi had no such distractions. He worked and worked, sometimes through the night, often neglecting food and basic hygiene, all in the service of the almighty decryption. He and HD had barely said three words to one another, and finally Avery tracked him down, at least to be polite. He found Levi in the little courtyard garden, tapping away furiously, "Uh, whatcha doin'?" asked HD.
"Huh? Oh, uh, there's this secret message. It isn't all decrypted yet. I can't figure out, there's a part that's, it's like, there's six different symbols, but there are some others, close ones. It's subtle. And that's not even the paragraph I'm working on."
"Can I see?"
"Uh, okay."
HD took a look, "Your, um, your big paragraph with the six letters and the offshoots? Maybe they're, uh, maybe they're notes."
"Notes?"
"Sure, look, um, ba ba ba ba ba ba," he sang, voice going up slightly higher on the fourth note.
"So? I mean, we need the words."
"Well, sure," said HD, "But notes are letters; it's A through F."
"But there are these other variations."
"Hmm. Maybe they're sharps and flats, corresponding to more letters. And your second paragraph, the one you're pounding on? Maybe that first word, the one with six letters? Uh, maybe it's people."
Levi tried, "Nope. Deirdre's better at this," he admitted.
"Why isn't she working on this, then?"
"I dunno. She leaves early most of the time."
"I bet she's got better things to do than decrypt," HD said, "Hell, it's a Friday night. Everyone's single but Boris, right?"
"I dunno. I never noticed."
"We should be doin' the town."
"Uh, what town?"
"I dunno. Something fun," HD said, "We could go to Ariel, to my old club, see what happens when Marisol and Sheilagh get a little alcohol in 'em. Maybe even Otra, too, see what color those flowers turn, if yanno what I mean."
"Oh," That brought Levi up short, "I don't think Otra would like to do that."
"Why, she got some boyfriend or somethin'?"
"Um, uh …."
"Maybe, uh, maybe we'll go without her," HD backpedaled a little, still unsure of the department's group dynamics, "But we'll ask her, of course. To, uh, to be polite."
"She'll say no."
"Maybe not this time."
A Ferengi came over, "Lilacs are blooming," he smiled, "Don't they smell wonderful?"
He and HD both took a big whiff. Levi did not, as he was back to being engrossed in his PADD.
"Whew!" HD fairly well yelled, "Levi, when's the last time you hit the showers?"
"Uh …."
"Go. Please," said the Ferengi, "You'll make my lilacs wilt," Even he was wrinkling his nose, more wrinkled than it naturally was.
"Von …," Levi protested.
"Really, I must insist," Von, the Ferengi, said, "It's pretty bad when you overpower lilacs in bloom. Don't you humans notice?"
"We do, brother, we do," HD said, "Hey, maybe that first word in the Manifesto paragraph is humans."
Levi tapped a bit, "Hot dog! It is."
"Okay, since I, uh, I gave you that, wanna do me – and everyone else at the Temporal Integrity Commission – a huge favor, and hit the showers?"
"Do I have to?"
Von and HD, practically in unison, replied, "Yes."
=/\=
HD made his way to Carmen's office, "Can I come in?"
"Of course."
"I was thinking, uh, maybe the department could cut loose tonight. I mean, it's free time, I figure I don't need to ask you, just figure, uh, in case you wanna come along."
"To do what?" she asked.
"I used to spin at a club on Ariel," he said, "We could all go out, have a few adult beverages, and maybe even dance or somethin'."
"Dance? I'm not so sure any of us know how."
"Maybe it's something we'll need for traveling. See, this can be justified as work! No time like the present to, uh, to get a little practice in."
"Practice? Mister Avery, if you're sent to 1695, I believe it'll be minuets."
"How do yanno they won't spin a minuet?"
She had to laugh at that, "I hardly think …."
"Look, I got Levi to hit the showers," he played his trump card.
"Holy cow," she said, "That is a major coup."
"Nobody needs to stay if they don't wanna. Hell, they don't even have to come at all. But it'll be fun. I just, I think it would be good for people."
"You barely know anyone here!"
"I know when folks are tired and bored. Uh, no offense."
"Uh, hmm, all right. But no stretching this out for the entire weekend. I don't want to see suffering on Monday."
"It'll just be for tonight. For Saturday and Sunday, people are on their own."
=/\=
It wasn't difficult to collect most of the department. Deirdre was already gone, and Kevin begged off, but the rest of them were all right with it. Even Levi wanted to go, once he saw that Otra was, indeed, going. Only Rick hadn't said yes or no.
HD caught up with Rick at Rick's office, "So, are we on for tonight?"
"Oh, uh, I don't think so. I'm supposed to be meeting my sister, and then we're off to our folks for dinner."
"So you'll have a drink and leave. Hell, bring her along," Rick shot him a bit of a look, so HD hastily added, "I swear I will be a perfect gentleman. Hell, even Boris is coming. He's mostly Klingon, right? So he can smack me into submission if I get too frisky. Okay? Are we on? C'mon!"
"All right. One drink – and I mean one."
=/\=
The club was loud, "The X Factor?" Carmen asked, reading off the entryway sign, "How horribly clichéd."
"Eh, I don't name 'em," HD said.
Levi was still fiddling with his PADD. At least he smelled considerably better, "Humans have, humans have, what?" he read off the PADD.
Otra took the PADD from him and tried a few words, "Here, we'll all try a word or two."
Levi looked stricken, like she'd taken his favorite toy. And, in a way, she had. Otra engaged her implanted Communicator, "Deirdre!" she yelled over the din, "Can you pass to Levi's PADD whatever you got on the decryption?"
"Sure," Deirdre said. She was putting the finishing touches on chicken soup with matzoh balls – the matzoh balls were sinking and it was impossible to fix that, so she was garnishing like mad – it was the first course in the meal she was preparing for Bruce, who hadn't arrived yet. She grabbed her PADD and clicked on it, giving the command to start the transfer, which finished in a few seconds. There was a door chime, "Gotta go!" she cut the connection and opened the door, smiling broadly.
He'd brought lilacs.
=/\=
"Ah, that fills things in a lot more," Otra said. The message now read:
Humans have slaughtered _ _ by the _. Suffering has been _ by _ _. Pain, disease, poverty and starvation have all been borne by too many. War has been the _ _, rather than a _ _ _ _ over the _.
"Hey, are you people gonna work all night?" HD asked, "Sheilagh, you're not gonna be playin' with that old thing now, are ya? Will ya dance with me?"
"Uh, I have a headache," she said.
"Yarin, can't you fix that?" HD asked Boris.
"Huh, step into my office," he joked, and put a pair of fingers on each of her temples, "Is it very bad?"
"Not too bad," Sheilagh said.
"Maybe don't have any alcohol, all right? Doctor Castillo, will you do me the honor?" he and Marisol disappeared onto the crowded dance floor.
"C'mon, I need a honey to dance with! Crystal, baby!" HD said.
"Let me get the drinks first," she said, "Drafts good for everyone?"
"Bourbon and soda for me, please," Tom said.
"Carmen?" asked Crystal.
"Scotch, neat."
"Okay, uh, Otra, you up for this?" HD asked. He was running out of options, and dancing with the boss – who was perhaps twice his age, he figured – was a little too strange for him.
"Maybe something a little slower," she said, "Otherwise, I have bouncing chavecoi, and they don't like that."
"Sheilagh?" HD tried again.
She shook her head, "It still hurts."
"Maybe ya'll wanna go home," Tom said.
"Carmen?" HD asked – the last resort.
She heard a Communications chime in her ear and pointed to it, "I've gotta take this, sorry," she left to find a quieter spot.
He looked around, as there were plenty of other women at the club. His eyes alit on an elegant blonde who seemed to be looking for someone, "Ah, the quality just improved considerably," he said. He approached the woman, who blew past him, and went straight up to Rick.
"Dayum," Sheilagh said.
Rick just laughed, and kissed the blonde on her cheek, "Eleanor, these are most of the people I work with. This is my little sister, Eleanor Daniels."
She smiled and was gracious to all, including HD, who made a big show of bowing and kissing her hand. Even Levi looked up for a second. But it was Tom who pulled out a chair for her, "I'm glad ya'll came," he said.
"I am, too," she said, "Do you travel, like Richard?"
"I do, uh, ya'll wanna drink?"
"Sure. A Bellini, please."
Crystal returned with a waitress who had a pitcher with her and the other two drinks. He ordered for Eleanor, "Uh, anyone else want anything while we've got her here?"
Carmen returned, "Children, I'll have to cut my evening short, I'm afraid. A matter has come up," she grabbed her scotch and chugged it.
"Carmen, this is my sister."
"I see," she said, shaking Eleanor's hand, "I bet you take after the other side of your family. I'd stay and chat, but I'm afraid business awaits. Uh, kids, Monday – meeting – Conference Room six, oh eight hundred hours. Good night."
"Anything up, Otra?" asked Rick.
"Nothing that I can detect," she said, "Oh, look, Levi. I bet that word is each."
"They'll work through anything, it seems," Tom said to Eleanor.
"Surely there are better things to do," she replied, "So, do you have some sort of a specialty, or are you a generalist like Richard?"
"I was a Colonel in the military until maybe a month and a half ago or so," he said.
"So you use a lot of strange old weapons?" she shouted, as the music had gotten loud again.
"Yes, I had an old projectile weapon last time. I don't think I'm allowed to tell you anymore."
"Oh, that's all right. Why don't they just give you some sort of an implanted phaser?" she asked, "They're already these little things that fit under your knuckles. Why not just leave one there permanently?" she pointed under her own hand to kind of demonstrate what she meant.
"If ya'll shake my hand too hard, I might accidentally blow my own foot off."
"Huh," she said, "There's still a few bugs in the system. Good thing I'm no inventor."
"Whaddaya all do?"
"I'm a docent at the Temporal Museum on Lafa II."
"A docent?"
"I'm like a historical guide of sorts. Have you ever been there?"
"Not yet. I was on the Breen home world for years. They kept me busy. But maybe now I could go."
"I could, I could give you a tour," she offered.
"El, we should go soon," Rick interjected.
"Soon," she said.
"Would that be the standard tour, or are there any extras?" Tom asked.
"Extras?"
"Like dinner. Could I take ya'll to dinner?" he shouted the last sentence, but the music had unexpectedly quieted down again, so he was suddenly, embarrassingly, far too loud.
"Yes," she said quietly, "That would be lovely," Rick caught her eye, "Must dash. Richard has my info. Nice meeting everyone," she said, but it was Tom she was looking at when she said that. And then she and Rick left and Tom looked down and smiled into his bourbon.
=/\=
What Do You Get When You Fall in Love?
You Only Get Lies and Pain and Sorrow.
So, for At Least, Until Tomorrow
I'll Never Fall in Love Again.
I'll Never Fall in Love Again.
- Bobbie Gentry (I'll Never Fall in Love Again)
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