Friday,
December 20th, 2013
Months went by, almost in fast forward, and not one single word from Ryder had been heard. Tori figured it was a good thing, at least Jade's protective streak had calmed down enough so that Tori was able to go out by herself again. But even though there hadn't been another sign of her crazy ex-boyfriend, Tori had found herself on edge every time she was out alone and a weird noise sounded or someone who resembled Ryder came too close to her. More than once had she caught herself reaching into her bag, her fingers wrapping around the bottle of pepper spray her father had advised her to carry with her wherever she went. "There's no reason to be scared anymore," she had mumbled to herself ever time and willed her hand to let go of the bottle in her purse, "He's not coming for you anymore." But even that mantra she continuously told herself hadn't been able to stop her from worrying that Ryder would appear in front of her any minute, and this time, Jade wouldn't be there to give him a piece of her mind.
Only when her mother called her on a late November evening, had Tori finally been able to relax. Her anxiety immediately fell off of her when she heard that Ryder wasn't even in the same state as her anymore; her mother had seen him in town, hot on the heels of some redhead. "So much for he loves me."
Right now, she stood in front of Jade's apartment, raising her eyebrows when the door swung open and Jade didn't react the way she hoped she would.
"Oh God, what do you want?"
The raven haired woman groaned and threw her head back, but despite her obvious lack of excitement about the visit, Jade left the door open and walked away, plopping onto her sofa.
"Good afternoon to you too." Tori stepped in and closed the door behind her, shaking her head at Jade's attitude. She already encountered days like that, where Jade was acting like she didn't want her there but never explicitly told her to go away. She could have easily slammed the door in her face if she really didn't want to put up with her but seeing that she didn't do that, Tori took it as an invitation to stay. "I brought something for you."
"I don't want anything from you." The frown on Jade's face hardened. "Why are you here, anyways? I don't remember inviting you over." Tori rolled her eyes and walked over to the sofa. Hoisting up the big, white shopping bag onto the sofa next to Jade, Tori settled for not responding to the grouchy woman and kept her attention solely on unpacking the gift she had brought for Jade. When she was finally able to get it out of the plastic bag, Tori held it up for Jade to look at and brightly smiled at her.
"Tada!"
Jade's eyes were narrowed, her lips parted as she stared at the little Christmas tree in Tori's hands. The little decorations adorning the green plastic branches sparkled in various tones of blue and white. Jade imagined the little lamps fastened on some ends would shine just as brightly as Tori's grin, if she'd ever turned them on. It was a nice little gesture but unfortunately for Tori, Jade wasn't really the appreciative type. Especially not today. "I don't do Christmas," was all she said before she turned away and started flipping through the TV guide. Tori's smile abruptly fell and her eyebrows crunched together.
"What, but…" Tori paused, her confused eyes resting on Jade who didn't spare her a single glance, "You can't just say that you don't 'do' Christmas!"
Tori's voice came out louder than intended and Jade turned towards her, raising an eyebrow. "Sure I can. And you already witnessed that last year, didn't you?"
"Yeah, I did but," Tori sighed and put the tree on the little coffee table before sitting down next to Jade, "I mean… I wanted you to have at least… a little bit of Christmas spirit. It's such a nice holiday. You shouldn't hate it so much."
"I don't," Jade stated casually, focusing back on the magazine in her hands.
Tori's forehead creased. "What?"
"I don't hate Christmas. Never said I did."
"But then why are you so adamant about not celebrating?"
A loud sigh was pushed past her lips and Jade rolled her eyes, putting the magazine down and turning to the confused brunette sitting next to her. "Because I don't have anything to celebrate. Sure, I could get a tree, I could hang up kitschy Christmas decorations, but I prefer not to. Why would I? I'm alone, I don't need all that stuff."
"But you're not alone. You have your brother. Don't you two spend Christmas together?"
"We do."
"That's what Christmas is all about," Tori smiled and playfully shoved Jade's shoulder, receiving a small glare in the process, "It's not about presents or decorations. But… decorating a little bit sure brings you in the right mood."
"Yeah. Well. Whatever you say." She picked the magazine back up, the conversation about Christmas being finished for her. She was just about to turn another page when Tori's next words made her freeze.
"Did Amelia like Christmas?"
Jade's eyes snapped towards Tori who looked at her intensely. This was the first time Tori really asked about Amelia again and even though the sound of her name coming out of Tori's mouth sent a twinge through her heart, it didn't bother Jade as much as she thought it would. She blinked and cleared her throat before looking down at her lap, nodding her head. "She loved it."
Tori smiled at Jade, putting her elbow on the headrest of the sofa and resting her head in her hand. "Hm. So did she manage to get you into the spirit?"
A faraway smile began to form on Jade's lips as she thought back on all the Christmases she had spent with Amelia and how amazingly happy she always had been. "Yeah, I guess so. She was just… crazy about Christmas. I mean, of course we had a tree. Lia loved to decorate it. Christmas songs would blare out of the stereo at every waking moment and she'd dance around the house and sing along." A light laugh bubbled out of Jade's throat, causing Tori's smile to widen. "Like I said, she couldn't really cook all that good but she sure knew how to make cookies. Her cookies always were the best. Seriously. And then there was…"
She trailed off, her smile slightly dampening, but Tori urged her on to continue. Jade took a deep breath. "Every Christmas she hung up a mistletoe right over there." Jade craned her neck and pointed her finger at the doorway which led to the little hallway. "That was probably her favorite tradition. She used every chance she'd get to get me under that thing. Not that I was complaining."
Tori waited for Jade to say something else but she seemed to be finished, her eyes staring straight ahead and her mouth set in a thin line. It had been a risky move on Tori's side to mention Amelia, with Jade obviously being in a bad mood today, but thankfully, she hadn't ripped her head off, even though Tori almost expected it. "That's really nice," Tori softly said and sat up straight, deciding to leave the topic of Lia alone for the time being. She was glad she got something out of Jade; Tori didn't want to ruin it by making her think she wanted to pry into her life. "So, you really don't want the tree?"
Tori's eyes watched her fingers gently pick at the little branches. Jade frowned at the pout on Tori's face, just looking at her for a moment before rolling her eyes. "Fine. You can let it stay here. I guess it's not that bad."
She cringed at the squeal Tori released, but then sat up straight and pointed a finger at the brunette. "But that will be all, understood? Don't you dare come here and bring me even more Christmas stuff."
"I won't do that. Promise." Tori grinned and Jade relaxed again, grumbling something along the lines of "Let's hope so," while leaning back on the couch, her arms crossed in front of her, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed in a sulking fashion.
"So?" Tori asked after a little while of silence, her lips still pulled up in a smile and eyes observing the other woman's face. Jade glanced at her warily. "So what?"
"Why are you in such a bad mood today?"
A long sigh rumbled through her throat and escaped her mouth. "It's just one of those days."
"What kind of days?"
Tori already suspected in which way Jade's words would go but she wanted to hear her say it. Talking about it helped, especially in Jade's case, as Tori had found out. "Days where… I think I should've just stayed in bed and should have tried to sleep through the entire day, in hopes that maybe the next morning I won't feel this way. That it will be different. Better somehow."
"Well," Tori sighed quietly after a small silence, smiling at Jade, "You did the right thing by getting up today. And I know the perfect thing that will cheer you up."
…
Bright lights shimmered in the trees, jolly melodies came out of the speakers scattered around the ice rink and the sharp sound of blades gliding over the ice immediately filled Jade's ears. "Ice skating?" She turned from the rink to Tori, looking at her with creased eyebrows. "You took me ice skating?" Her face crumpled in a way that made Tori feel like her idea was the most ridiculous thing ever thought of. "Really?"
"Yeah! Ice skating is fun!"
Tori's happy smile didn't do anything to sway Jade's disgruntled state. "I've never been," she stated monotonously and crossed her arms tighter over her chest.
"Oh really? Then we'll have to change that. Right now."
"Didn't you listen to me? I've never been ice skating. I can't do it."
Instead of letting Jade's bad mood get to her, Tori confidently kept smiling and raised her eyebrows at the other woman. "If you've never been then how do you know you can't do it? Who knows, you could be the next Peggy Fleming or Katarina Witt."
Jade looked at her confusedly. "Who?"
"Just come on now," Tori dismissed and grabbed Jade's arm, dragging the sulking woman after her. She heard her let out an irritated sigh, then "I don't have any skates."
Tori gave the bag in her other hand a little shake. "I've brought some for you."
"Oh yeah? Where did you get them? Did you lend them somewhere? You did, didn't you? If so, I'm not wearing them. Who knows what disgusting people had their feet in them before me."
Tori let go of her arm and took a seat on a bench near the ice rink, pulling out the two pairs of skates she brought. "I didn't lend them," she reassured Jade, "They're my old ones. I got new ones for Christmas last year. And before you say anything, no, I don't want to kill you. They're still in great shape. Great for starters."
She tried her hardest to refrain herself from laughing at the expression that currently took a hold of Jade's face, a mix between irritation, indignation and wonder. "…Well, I don't think we have the same shoe size."
"We do-o," Tori sang with a big grin, "I checked."
"How long have you planned this?!"
"Oh come on, you little scaredy-cat!" She stood up from the bench and thrust her old skates into Jade's hands. "I don't want to murder you. It will be fun, you'll see!"
"Yeah. Fun," Jade mumbled while plopping down on the bench, "I'm sure breaking every bone in my body will be fun."
"You're not going to break anything," Tori said and crouched down in front of her grumbling friend, her hand giving Jade's foot two quick pats. "Now, will you put the skates on or do I have to do it?"
"I can do it alone, thank you very much," she sarcastically replied, sending the brunette a glare. After watching for a moment as Jade pulled her boots off, Tori stood up and took a seat next to Jade, starting to take her own shoes off. When Tori securely fastened her skates, she turned back to Jade, cocking an eyebrow when she saw that she still wasn't finished as she fought with the clasp that would make sure the shoe would be properly fastened. "Here, let me help you with that," Tori offered softly and reached out, almost expecting Jade to slap her hand away. But she just sighed, placed her hands in her lap and quietly watched as Tori helped her with the skates.
"Okay," Tori said with a satisfied sigh and looked up at Jade, smiling. She stood up and held her gloved hand out to her. "Ready?"
With a quiet breath Jade grabbed Tori's hand and pushed herself into a standing position, then let Tori slowly lead her over to the rink. Tori's hand released hers as the brunette stepped onto the ice, turning around and resting her arm against the railing while sending Jade an encouraging smile. "Come on."
Jade would never admit it but as her eyes moved from Tori to the shiny white ice directly in front of her, her heart furiously began pounding in her chest. But never one to show her fear, Jade tightly gripped the railing and took her first tentative step onto the ice… and immediately realized just how slippery it really was. "Holy shit!" She didn't know how she got her other foot on the ice, but suddenly she was standing there, her body halfway slumped over the railing and Tori standing in front of her, smiling.
"Great! Okay, I'm going to show you how you have to move now. Look at my feet." With that she turned around, very quickly and smoothly, Jade noticed with great wonderment, and skated a couple of feet away from her. While she watched Tori's movements, she tried to copy them but as soon as she tried to lift one foot from the ice, even just the slightest bit, she felt like she was falling off the face of the earth. Eventually she decided to take a different approach, using her hands and arms to pull her forward with the help of the railing.
"That's not how you're supposed to do it though," Tori laughed good-naturedly as she came gliding back.
Jade moved her hands a little farther up the railing and pulled herself over the ice once more. "It's how I do it," she grunted and took a quick glance at Tori, "Just go and do some flips or something. I don't want you to watch me. I'll get a hang of it eventually."
Tori laughed again. "Okay. If you say so." Shooting her an amused smile Tori skated past her, and once again, Jade was impressed as she watched her glide across the ice. She herself couldn't even properly stand while Tori just made it look so effortless and graceful. In the span of twenty minutes, Jade managed to circuit the entire ice rink three times, with other skaters and Tori continuously whooshing past her while she still hung on the railing and pulled herself along. And while she already felt more secure on the slippery surface than before, Jade wasn't willing to lift her feet like Tori had shown her.
"What?" Jade snapped when Tori suddenly whooshed by her and came to a stop directly in front of her.
The brunette didn't let Jade's tone get to her, instead, she held her hands out in front of her. "I'll teach you."
But Jade just snorted. "No way am I going to let go."
"Trust me. Let go of the railing. At least with one hand."
"No, I don't want to! I'll fall! You just want to make a dumbass out of me!"
Tori slid a little closer. "You won't fall," she assured soothingly, her hands still outstretched for Jade to take, "I promise you. Just hold on to my hands and we'll go slowly."
Shrill laughter reverberated in her ears. Jade turned to see where it came from and saw a little girl, red hat hiding half of her dirty blonde hair, standing in the middle of the ice, pointing her finger and laughing at a man who was flatly lying on his back. Hesitantly, she turned back to Tori, her eyes flicking from her face to her outstretched hands. Taking together all of her courage, Jade slowly raised one hand and placed it in Tori's, her other one soon following.
"Awesome. I'm going to pull you with me now, okay?"
"No," Jade blurted out, making Tori suddenly stop and raise her eyebrows.
"No?"
"I mean… yeah, okay. But go slow."
"Of course." Tori's feet began to move and suddenly, Jade was pulled with her. Jade's eyes lifted from curiously watching Tori's feet to Tori's face; a bright smile stretched across her face as she maneuvered them around the arch of the rink. "You're doing great. Now try to lift your feet. Nothing's going to happen, remember, I won't let go of you."
Still a little wary of this whole ice skating thing, Jade let Tori pull her across the ice for a little while longer before she finally plucked up the courage to lift her feet like Tori had shown her, surprising herself by realizing how easy it really was. Her lips unwillingly formed a smile when Tori slowly let go of her hands and Jade found herself skating across the ice completely on her own, without needing any help.
But when a young man whooshed by her, Jade felt her left feet slip on the slippery ice and before she knew what was really happening, she closed her eyes while bracing herself for the cold impact.
But it never came.
Two arms had shot out and saved her from falling, holding her up and helping her stand securely on her feet again. Jade heard a quiet chuckle in her ear and opened her eyes again, pushing out a relieved breath. "I've got you," the brunette said with a breathy laugh, "Don't worry."
The sound of her heartbeat, so fast and strong, sounded in her ears and only grew louder the longer she was staring into Tori's eyes. Jade's fingers tightened on Tori's upper arms, maybe even bruising the tan skin underneath the thick black jacket, but as much as she tried, she couldn't figure out what was happening to her. Tori's lips formed words; Jade watched them move in such a slow way that it was almost seducing, but her ears couldn't hear what she was trying to say. Everything she saw, everything she heard and felt rushing through her veins was her name. Tori. Tori. Tori.
"Wh- What did you say?"
Finally, she snapped out of… whatever it was and looked up into a worried pair of brown eyes. "I asked if you were okay. Do you rather want to go home?"
"No, no," she said and moved herself away from Tori, "I just started to get the hang of it. We can't go yet."
Tori, who still seemed a little worried, cracked a small smile and nodded, slowly following Jade around the rink. The feeling Jade had a minute ago thankfully disappeared after a little while of skating around and goofing off with Tori, and Jade found herself immensely enjoying the time on the ice.
But as she went to bed that night and her eyes dropped shut almost an hour after midnight, surprisingly and most terrifyingly, the last thought she had wasn't of Lia.
It was of Tori.