Chapter 20

"You can have your people stand down, Mr. Worf. I assure you, I am perfectly safe." Picard smiled broadly as he swung himself out of the hatch of the Betazed Defense Force flier. Worf, still not looking entirely convinced, signaled his people to lower their weapons. Dropping to the ground beside him, Ishara Yar stepped back and permitted the welcoming committee to greet their captain.

Will stepped up first and grabbed Picard's hand. His former first officer looked like hell, he thought, but there was a happiness about him that made Jean Luc feel relieved. If things had gone badly, Will would not be so exuberant.

"Welcome home, Captain," Will said.

Jean Luc smiled at him gratefully.

"Thank you, Will. It's good to be here." He looked at the counselor. "Deanna—are you all right?"

Her dark eyes were moist as she quickly embraced him.

"Just fine, Captain. We're all fine, now"

Picard looked over to his First Officer, who stood serenely off to the side.

"Commander Data—what is our status?"

"Sir, the Betazed authorities have taken the leaders of the Jzatar into custody. However the Romulan warbird did manage to get its engines back on-line and has gone to warp. Do you wish to pursue her, sir?"

Picard looked at the only person in the shuttle bay who had not yet spoken. She didn't need to. Her thoughts were as clear to him as if their telepathic link had been reinstated.

"No, Mr. Data. Let her go. We have other matters to attend to. Mr. Worf, would you be so kind as to show Colonel Yar to her quarters? We'll hold a debriefing at 1430 hours." He looked at them all, a slight smile on his face. He was, indeed, home. His eyes rested on Beverly again, still silent, still in the background.

"Now, if you'll all excuse me," he said, clearing his throat. "I believe I need to see a doctor."

He saw Will and Deanna exchange knowing smiles and follow the others out of the shuttle bay. When the door slid shut, Jean Luc and Beverly were alone.

"Are you all right?" she asked finally, opening her tricorder and scanning him as he walked toward her.

"I'm pleased to say that reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated," he quipped.

She did not smile.

"You have two broken ribs and some contusions…."

He reached out and closed the tricorder in her hand.

"Beverly…I'm sorry—if there'd been any other way…."

She looked at him and he could see everything she'd been through in the last three days glistening from behind her blue eyes.

"You put me through hell, Jean Luc," she said in a strangely quiet voice. He nodded.

"I know…" But he got no further. She was in his arms and he was kissing her.

"I thought I'd lost you," she managed finally, her hands to his face as though she needed to assure herself that he was really there.

"I'm not that easy to get rid of," he told her. But she would take none of his light banter.

"You have no idea what it was like…"

"I knew I'd hurt you—it nearly killed me to think of what you were going through. I even had the strangest dream where I tried to comfort you—"

"Take heart," Beverly said suddenly.

Picard looked at her oddly.

"What did you say?"

"It's what you said…in my dream. You touched me and said…actually, thought…'Take heart'."

Picard paled slightly.

"You tried to touch me…" he began.

"But then I woke up…" she concluded. He nodded

"Then I woke up," he repeated.

Beverly stepped away from him as though he were a ghost.

"Coincidence?" asked Jean Luc, skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

Beverly shook her head.

"Lwaxana tried to tell me…she said the human brain was capable of more than we realize—that once two people have been linked telepathically that link is rarely completely severed. That's why she asked me…." Beverly broke off.

Jean Luc was curious.

"Asked you what?"

Beverly searched his eyes.

"She asked if I'd felt you…die"

Jean Luc thought on this for a moment.

"She must have suspected that we still had some type of telepathic connection…."

"But the psi-wave transmitters were removed…" Beverly reminded him, her hand instinctively going to the back of her neck as if somehow, by magic, they had reappeared.

"Still," he replied. "Haven't you felt—over the years—there was something more there between us? When I arrived just now and Data asked about pursuing Sela—I could hear your thoughts as plainly as if you'd said them aloud."

"I was thinking that we should…"

"…leave her the hell alone. Yes, I know."

Beverly's eyes widened.

"Jean Luc…why didn't we discover this before?" she asked, shakily. He pulled her to him and wrapped her in his embrace.

"I don't know…."

"Well, it's perfectly obvious," Lwaxana told them later in the turbo lift as they made their way to the debriefing. "I mean, not to get too personal but…it's the physical relationship. Joining bodies. Joining minds. It's part of the same thing. Once the two of you became…well, it was like throwing a switch. Only don't expect it to be a daily sort of thing…the telepathy, I mean," she winked. "No—for humans, it's sort of hit and miss. Stress frequently activates it—which can be useful, I guess; but don't worry. You won't be having to flit around with each other's little stray thought running through your heads. But make the most of it when it comes—for terrans like you, it is a rare gift."

Jean Luc saw Beverly turn several shades of red during Lwaxana's explanation. He could feel his own face burning as well. There were just some things about the Ambassador that would never change, and her candor was certainly one of them.

They had recovered by the time they reached the conference room. Picard was welcomed warmly by Geordi and Wesley and took his place at the head of the table. It was a welcome sight to see all the familiar faces once again. Even Ishara seemed already to fit in. Perhaps, he thought, it was the shadow of her sister's smile.

Picard began by explaining what had happened when he had felt the Romulan transporter grab him and his spontaneous decision to let his crew think him dead.

"You needed to focus on the jzatar," he told them. "And I needed to root out who was behind them, and why. There seemed to be a tactical advantage in being presumed dead, and I knew you would all be professional enough to carry on without me—I guess I just never figured you'd try to kill me in the process."

"Your message was very vague, Jean Luc," Lwaxana scolded him. "I hadn't a clue as to what you thought you were doing."

Picard smiled at her enigmatically, glad that no one had figured out he hadn't had a clue either. Only Beverly's sly look told him she knew his secret—and wasn't likely to let him forget it.

Will then brought him up to speed on their deception to lure the jzatar back out into the open. Between the Enterprise's security teams and the Betazed authorities, they had contained Magda and most of the members of the jzatar. The surviving Daughters of the four Houses of Betazed had been released and returned home. Aleena, however, remained in custody, although Deanna said she hoped to speak to the authorities on her behalf.

"She saved my life," she explained. "It took a great deal of courage for her to defy Magda. It was an incredible sacrifice for her. The jzatar had promised her the very thing she had desired her entire life. I owe her at least for that. Who knows," said Deanna, with a glance at her mother. "Perhaps some day she will be the Daughter of the Fifth House."

Picard caught the exchange and couldn't help but think that Deanna and Lwaxana had a great deal yet to discuss.

The loose end that everyone was waiting for, however, was Ishara Yar. Even Picard, who had learned of her identity only after she had rescued him from the bridge of the warbird, was curious as to her role in all of this. Showered and in a clean, simple black uniform, Ishara sat amazingly calm at one end of the table, waiting her turn. They all looked at her, now, expectantly.

"Not everything I told you in the Badlands was a lie, Captain," she began. "I did escape Turkana IV like I said, and I made my way to Earth the best way I could. And when I got there, they did indeed have a file on me and refused to allow me to apply for Starfleet Academy." She took a deep breath.

"Instead," she continued. "They recruited me for Starfleet Special Ops. I guess they figured with my background I would make a better spy than I would an engineer." She grinned sheepishly at Geordi.

"After a couple of years of training, I ended up out in the field. There's not a lot I can share with you about that, but part of my cover was running illegal and hard to get technology through the Bazaar in the Badlands. It gave me access to a lot of people folks like you don't run into in the course of your day to day assignments."

"I bet," commented Riker wryly. Ishara smiled.

"When you two showed up looking for the harmonic shield disruptor, I knew you'd stepped into the middle of one of our biggest operations. Sela and the jzatar had linked up nearly three years ago, not long after the end of the Dominion War. She'd taken off with one of the Romulan warbirds—deserted, with her whole crew. They hid out in the Badlands for nearly two years. I think it affected her—mentally, that is. I used to hear of people coming to the Bazaar talk about this crazy Romulan commander. When she finally showed up, I saw what they meant. She was obsessed with the Enterprise and the people on it. She wanted all of you dead, and by the most painful means possible." Ishara paused and sipped some water that was in a glass in front of her.

"Sela and the jzatar had pretty much their whole plan worked out by the time they came to me. The jzatar were on a quest to remake Betazed; they didn't give a damn about anything else. Sela, of course, had other plans: she not only wanted to take out the Enterprise but permanently sever any relationship between the Federation and Romulus as well. She nearly wept when she learned of Shinzon and how his attempt had failed. But it spurred her on to plan wilder and wilder things. Before I knew it, she wanted to get her hands on the theleron radiation technology."

"You didn't broker that for her, did you?" asked Will, aghast. Ishara looked sheepish.

"I'm the Ice Princess, Captain. Procurer of the Unprocurable." She fiddled with her water glass. "Yeah," she continued after a moment. "I got it for her—but…."

She held up her hand to deflect the verbal chastisement she knew Riker was about to hurl at her.

"Wait—before you get all bent out of shape, it was a fake—not unlike your bogus chalice, Mrs. Troi," she added with a smile. A moment later, though, her face was all business once again.

"Of course I couldn't sell them a functioning one. It would have been suicide for the entire quadrant. The S.C.E. had rigged up this fake one—it hummed and pulsed—even emitted a complex holographic light helix nearly identical to the one Shinzon had. It would have fooled most people, but it was absolutely harmless. Betazed was never in danger—from theleron radiation, at least.

"Before Sela even approached me, somehow she had already discovered our rather unusual relationship to each other. She wanted to use that to assure my assistance with her plan. Of course, once I learned what she was up to, I had intended to insert myself into the operation anyway. Sela has always been on Starfleet's watch list, and the Betazoids, well, with the right resources it was obvious they were a pretty big threat as well. So I played into her perception of me as the disenfranchised younger sister and she thought I was genuine.

"Sela brought Magda and some of her people to the Badlands to work out the final deal. That was where things started to get dicey. Sela had explained to me that these jzatar were extraordinary telepaths. I couldn't risk letting them read my thoughts, or else the whole deal would have been blown."

"I thought you were trained in mental shielding techniques to prevent something like that from happening?" asked Deanna, her brow furrowed in concern.

"Oh we are," Ishara told her. "But it's not infallible. And to be honest…I've never been very good at it. That's why I have Drang—my Ferengi assistant. Anytime I've had to deal with telepaths, I use him. Ferengi are impervious to telepathic connections. He's like a mental stone wall."

"So you used him to broker the deal with Sela and Magda?" queried Picard, recalling the Ferengi's go-between role between the Ice Princess and his Away Team. Ishara nodded.

"I had some specifics I wanted to add to the deal—like getting a hold of a Betazoid Defense Flier. I had to convince them that using that to strip the Enterprise's shields was a better strategy than bringing in the jzatar ship under cloak. It was the only way I could ensure I would be the one controlling the harmonic shield disruptor at the critical time. I had to leave it to Drang to present my case and work it all out. Maybe if I had been there myself I would have picked up on Sela's intentions earlier. Drang, sometimes, misses out on some of the more subtle aspects of a deal. But then, he just thinks I'm the Ice Princess. He has no idea of my whole other life."

"What do you mean by 'Sela's intentions'?" Beverly asked. "I thought her intentions seemed pretty clear."

"Sela had her own agenda, Doctor. Frankly, she didn't give a damn about the jzatar and their quest for a perfect Betazed. And she wasn't leaving anything to chance. I later learned that she had gone behind my back to one of my competitors in the Bazaar and procured a remote detonator for the theleron weapons. If the jzatar didn't set them off, she would."

"Jazel Kay," supplied Picard. Ishara raised her eyebrows.

"Very good, Captain. Yes. Kay's specialty is in remote control technology. I've seen her get some of the devices down to the size of a small ring.. Most, though, are in the form of pendants like this." She passed around the medallion that Picard had fought to remove from Sela before his beam out. "They're the sort of thing that look intriguing, but that no one would ever suspect are capable of setting off an explosion a half a parsec away."

"I wondered why her shop looked so sparse," recalled Riker, turning over the device and studying it before handing it off to Worf. "All her work is custom made."

"She commands a high price for it too," Ishara told him. "There aren't many who can match her talent. You did the black market a big favor by not vaporizing her when you escaped."

"Were you responsible for her attack on us—with the Drell?" Riker asked.

"No," Ishara replied, frowning. "I only heard about it later. Their orders must have come from Sela herself. My guess is, she was worried someone might learn about her deal with Kay and wanted to make sure no one else knew about the remote control device. Sela would have been furious if you had been killed in the Bazaar and she was denied the satisfaction of destroying you herself."

"Glad we could oblige," muttered Riker sarcastically.

"Ishara, however, is the one who supplied us with the technical readouts on the cloaking device and the harmonic shield disruptor, as well as the cryptic message about revenge," Picard pointed out.

"It was Doctor Crusher who correctly postulated that revenge might be the motive driving the Romulans who were funding the jzatar," Data added. "Unfortunately we were unable to give that matter further attention because of the swiftly unfolding events on the planet."

"That's precisely where Sela wanted your attention focused, Mr. Data," replied Ishara. "She was counting on your preoccupation with the jzatar to allow me to strip your shields from the Betazed Flier and let her come in and beam Captain Picard off the ship. She was then going to make him watch while she destroyed the Enterprise. After that, if the jzatar hadn't been able to detonate the theleron weapons, she would have done it from space."

"Wait—how did the jzatar think they were going to survive the theleron radiation if they intended to be on the planet when the weapons were set off?" wondered Deanna.

"I think I know the answer to that, Counselor," responded Geordi. "When we were scanning for your signal on Betazed and then for the scatter field, we detected several structures composed of triadium. I'll bet they were bunkers of some kind, where the jzatar members were going to hid out until it was safe."

"If you'll study the shipment manifest I provided you in the isolinear chip," explained Ishara. "You'll find that the triadium quantities are more than enough to replate Sela's and the jzatar's ships. The rest was for the bunkers."

"What I want to know is, why did you go ahead and drain the Enterprise's shields?" Will asked pointedly. "A straight shot from that Warbird and we would have been space dust."

"After Sela acquired Captain Picard ahead of schedule, I had to modify my plans. Originally I was simply going to strip Sela of her shields and put an end to this. The Enterprise would have captured the jzatar and Sela's ship would have been disabled. It was fairly straight-forward. The trouble was, Sela moved up the timetable. Once she had the captain she really wasn't interested in much else. Finally she grew impatient with Magda and decided that the jzatar and their plans just weren't worth it."

"Magda was furious that the Romulan ship was firing on the Enterprise while my mother was still aboard," confirmed Deanna. "She realized then she'd been betrayed."

"Sela held all the cards, including the trump—the remote detonator," Ishara agreed. "Of course it wouldn't detonate anything, but I was the only one who knew that. It was very noble of you, Captain, to wrest it away from Sela at the last moment, even though it was harmless."

She returned to Riker's question. "I stripped the Enterprise's shields, Captain, because I was trying to save as many lives as possible. If the warbird's shields had gone down first, you probably would have destroyed it—and Captain Picard. I was also aware that your rescue of Counselor Troi and the capture of the jzatar had been aborted by Sela's early appearance. You had to have your shields down in order to beam down your security forces. Draining your shields was a calculated risk, I know, but it seemed like the best course of action at the time."

Picard could tell Will wasn't entirely satisfied with Ishara's answer. He could see the fatigue and the effect of the strain of the past weeks clearly on the younger man's face. He had been doing battle on two fronts, Picard knew: personally and professionally. This time, at least, he had come out the winner on both ends. Perhaps now Will and Deanna could begin to put this behind them and move on. Glancing at Beverly, he thought perhaps they all could.

"If you knew all along what Sela was going to do, why didn't you just arrest her before any of this happened?" asked Geordi pragmatically. Ishara's reply was equally as pragmatic.

"First of all, I didn't have all the information about what Sela was planning. Despite our relationship, she still didn't trust me completely. I knew parts of the plan, but not all of it. The attack on the Titan, for example, was a complete surprise. I'm sorry, Captain," Ishara added sympathetically to Riker.

"I'm also guessing there's a big difference between conspiracy to commit murder and attempted murder, am I right?" interjected Picard from the head of the table. Ishara turned to him.

"Precisely. Had we taken Sela down earlier, at best we could have gotten her for was trafficking in illegal technology. Don't forget, the Romulans are probably looking for her too. Under the new treaty with the Star Empire, she would have been extradited back to Romulus. With attempted murder and genocide charges against her, however, the Federation gets to keep her."

"Except we don't have her," pointed out Geordi. The table was momentarily quiet. In spite of all their efforts, Picard thought, they had not secured their quarry. In a way he felt responsible. After all, he had given the order to let her go. Ishara shrugged wearily.

"Given the bigger picture, Commander, that's probably a minor point at the moment. The charges remain and she'll surface eventually."

"It would have helped if we'd known about your involvement earlier," Riker pointed out, a little testily. "A little coordination could have made a difference between success and the three days of hell we've all been through."

"I know," Ishara agreed, taking his anger in stride. "Unfortunately, that's the nature of the work I do, Captain. Not even your admirals knew about this operation. It would have been best if I hadn't even had to reveal my identity to you, but in this case, I thought it was warranted. Sela did have every intention of killing you, Captain," she told Picard. He nodded solemnly.

"A fact of which I am too well aware," he told her. He allowed himself a slight smile. "When you first beamed me aboard your ship, for a moment I thought I'd won you over with my talk of honor and responsibility," he confessed. Ishara gave a quick chuckle.

"It was an impressive speech, Captain. In fact, I was worried that Sela would think you had reformed me. She had your room bugged quite extensively. I don't think you found half the listening devices." Now that the debriefing was nearly completed, the mood in the room seemed to be lightening.

"Colonel Yar," mused Riker, leaning back in his chair. Picard was relieved to see a glimmer of the Will Riker he knew. There was a slight smile playing at the corner of the younger man's lips.

"Didn't think I had it in me, did you, Captain?" Ishara replied coyly. Riker studied her before replying.

"A dozen years ago, I'd have said no. But I think you proved me wrong. Your sister would have been proud of you."

"You honor her memory," added Worf. Ishara looked at the Klingon soberly.

"I had a chance to read Tasha's personal logs, once I joined Special Ops. She held you in very high regard, Mr. Worf. I will take your words as high praise."

Ishara looked around the table at each person.

"Ever since I left Turkana IV I felt I owed you all a debt of gratitude," she confessed. "I had betrayed you when you had offered me nothing but kindness. When I joined Special Ops, I felt as if I was paying off that debt in an indirect way. Now I'm glad I was able to repay you all directly. I figure, it was the least I could do."

"I have a question," asked Wesley when the murmur of the room had quieted again. "Where is the real Chalice of Rixx?"

All eyes turned expectantly toward Lwaxana. She merely shrugged and smiled at all of them. "I'm afraid, young man, that's a mystery that will remained unsolved—at least for a while."

"Mother—aren't you ever going to tell us where it is?" asked Deanna, as they made their way back to their quarters.

Lwaxana linked her arm with her daughter's and said breezily, "I'll leave it to you in my will, Deanna."

Deanna shook her head, unloosed her arm and stepped into the turbo lift, obviously exasperated. As Beverly and Lwaxana followed, Lwaxana leaned over to the doctor and whispered, "Just remember, Dear. The next time you feel like throwing some crockery, be sure to select something a little less valuable."

Several seconds later, the turbo lift door slid open, and without a look back, Lwaxana strode on out. As the lift carried the two remaining women to their appropriate decks, it hit Beverly. Surely Lwaxana hadn't meant…. Beverly's mouth nearly hung open as she realized exactly what had just transpired. She almost wanted to laugh out loud.

Later, when Jean Luc had joined her, she told him.

"You're kidding," he said in disbelief.

"I'm telling you, Jean Luc. She gave it to you. What better place to hide it than on a starship."

Picard went over to the display shelves and picked up the unattractive piece Lwaxana had given him for his part in Will and Deanna's wedding. Now that he was familiar with the copy of the chalice, he could see that the figure of the fat, squat man could indeed house within it something of that size and shape. He lifted it for Beverly to see.

"And to think, I damned near got rid of it because it was so ugly," he told her. She laughed, but decided she would not share how closely she herself had come to discovering the statue's secret.

Jean Luc set the piece gingerly back on the shelf and turned to her. There was a gleam in his eye—a look.

"Beverly…" he started to say, coming toward her. She found herself backing away. There was only confusion on her husband's face as he paused.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Beverly found that she was unable to speak. Now that it was all over, now that he was somehow, miraculously alive, all her doubts and fears rushed back upon her like a tidal wave. She had now been through this horrible experience twice. Could she risk putting herself through it another time? It might never happen again, she realized. Or it could happen tomorrow. He might not return from the next away mission. Or the one after that. Or, it might be she who did not return. She could only imagine the toll her death, under his command, might take on him. The decision to marry, which had seemed so right just a few short weeks ago, now seemed entirely and completely wrong.

As her thoughts whirled in her head, she saw his confusion give way to understanding. Beverly felt a jolting flash of pain from him, but he pushed it away quickly, a curtain of detachment falling between them. At that moment she felt more alone than she had when she thought him to be dead.

"Jean Luc—don't," she pleaded. The hurt in his eyes and the absence of him from her mind brought tears to her eyes.

He cleared his throat and studied his hands.

"I'm sure once we return to Starbase 209 you'll be able to get a shuttle back to Earth," he said quietly. Beverly felt her chest constrict. He was letting her go.

"I think it's probably for the best," she managed, wiping her eyes.

"Yes…."

She couldn't help it. A sob shook her entire body, causing Jean Luc to look up at her. Suddenly, he was there again.

Beverly—don't be afraid. The voice in her head was as clear as if he'd spoken the words aloud.

Aren't you? she thought back at him, her emotions still roiling

Yes, he admitted, stepping closer to her. But I won't let that fear ruin our lives.

He took another step closer and she had not choice but to meet his gaze.

Do you love me? he asked her. She didn't even have to formulate a reply to that. Her feelings leapt from her, raw and unformed. She saw him smile as he reached out and took her hand. At his touch, images leapt into her mind: his anguish at having deceived her; his fear for her safety and that of the Enterprise; rage; desire; hope. She saw images of a red-haired child playing against the background of a star field at warp; herself captaining a ship; a glowing hearth in a French chateau; a sunrise on a planet circled by twin moons. All he had been and all he hoped to be, he gave to her, and Beverly found herself in his arms, holding on as if no power in the universe could ever separate them again.

Except one.

Overhead the intercom chirped.

"Riker to Captain Picard."

Beverly leaned back, her arms still around her husband and saw exasperation written all over his face.

"Picard here," he said wearily, his eyes locked on hers.

"Sorry to interrupt, Sir," Will said, sounding suddenly uncomfortable. Beverly thought she could hear Deanna's scolding voice in the background. "But I believe we have a reception to conclude. Deanna and I were wondering if you could join us on the holodeck…later."

Jean Luc looked expectantly at Beverly. He was still leaving the decision to her. Visions of an earthbound shuttle taking her away from the Enterprise faded from her mind. A very different image took its place. Picard grinned.

"We'd be delighted, Will. Just make it…much later. Picard out."

Still afraid? his thoughts asked her, his eyes never leaving hers. Beverly shook her head.

"Not as long as you keep finding your way back home," she told him. He pulled her closer until their lips nearly touched

"As long as you'll be there," he whispered. "Count on it."