Chapter 21

A/N: It has been a while. I guess I left Jane/Maura pregnant and hanging after the emotional story of Ch. 20. I hope you enjoy this new chapter and the new arrival...yep! It is time for the baby!

Jane has been on early maternity leave for two weeks now; she is almost unbearable! Her swollen ankles, her slightly elevated blood pressure, and her (if I were honest) giant belly were keeping her from the job that she loves and were making me dread going home at night. It was best to come home after Angela had happily prepared something wonderful for dinner and to sit down with my sons before venturing upstairs to check on my wife. The first week wasn't terrible; Jane did small things in the nursery and read to the boys to keep herself busy. However, with her 38th week exam last Thursday she was placed on bedrest to make certain her blood pressure stayed at a healthy level. That was medically the correct decision, and as a doctor I completely agreed and supported the recommendation. As a wife…God! It was awful!

"Maura!" And the bear awakes from slumber to bellow at anyone within her listening. "Maura! Can you come here please!"

"Shit…" I mumble under my breath. It had been a nice Saturday morning. The boys were at the park with their Nonna, and I was enjoying music while sorting through paperwork. Delay will not change the task in front of me…"Coming dear!"

On my way to our bedroom, I pass the nursery. In another week or so, we will bring home our new baby. A perfect, precious little one to love. I am so excited to see Joshua and Jackson with their new sibling; I am so excited to be a Mom again. "M! I need you!" And so ends my pleasant musing…

I enter our room to see Jane sitting on the edge of our bed scowling. Despite it all and through it all, I love this woman! With everything that I am and have, I love her. "Jane. What do you need, dear?"

"Uh…I…" I slowly recognize my wife's scowl is not one of frustration or anger but one of fear. "I think I am in labor…"

My heart begins to beat more rapidly than is optimum, I can feel the blood drain from my face and upper extremities, and I know my mouth is moving without benefit of any sound emitting. Finally, I manage a sound…a word. "Shit…"

"Maura. I'm scared…I don't know what to do." The pain was bearable right now, in between contractions. We got checked in easily and the doctors said I was in 'active labor' already at a 4. I guess those back twinges I'd been feeling since last night were actually contractions. Now we were in a delivery suite, and I'm hooked up to 97 machines. Ma had the boys at home until the baby comes which I know is killing her, but I just don't think Maura and I could handle a squirmy child or squirmy adult right now.

"Jane, baby, you are doing great. There is nothing for you to know. Your body was made to give birth! Right now the contractions are causing dilation of the cervix, the baby is moving down the birth canal in preparation for…"

"I know what it is 'preparing' for! It is preparing to force his or her bowling ball of a head through my V! It won't fit…you know it won't, Maura! Just tell them to cut the baby out, ok? I can deal with that…just another scar, right? Tell them!"

Maura chuckles, "Jane, the baby will fit. Your body knows what to do even when you don't. Unless it is medically necessary, we will not be consenting to a c-section. We talked about all of this in our birthing plan."

"Fuck the plan, Mau….aw SHIT!" Here comes another contraction. Damn that hurts! Like a ripping sensation from my back, around, and down.

"Breathe, baby….breathe." Maura tries to help. She wipes my head, kisses me, and just generally loves me. And within a short bit the pain passes. "There you go. Every one gets us closer to our baby, Jane. I am so excited."

"You are just excited to have crazy, lunatic Jane leave your house…I'm sorry, M. I know I have been awful the last few days. I hate not working. I hate feeling so fat. I hate feeling useless…I hate…I hate." Damn. I feel a few tears forming. "I hate feeling scared."

Maura leans close to me looking at me with so much love in her eyes then she kisses me. Gently, but with passion. "Yes. I am very excited to not share my bed with a lunatic anymore." Her smile is radiant.

"Thanks! A lot!"

"Well…you have been a tad…abrasive recently. BUT I still love you. And I understand you." She sits back down next to my bed holding my hand. "One nice thing since you have been home? You have been sleeping very soundly. That has given me some alone time which has been most enjoyable."

"Oh, baby. How are you tonight?" I rub Jane's belly while she sleeps. "I cannot wait to meet you. I have seen images of you as you have grown, but nothing will compare to holding you in my arms. I look forward to smelling you, to kissing you…just everything about you excites me. I hope you have your Mama's hair and her eyes. Her wit and intelligence. You are going to love her. And you will love your brothers. They are excited to meet you, too. The whole family anxiously awaits your arrival.

"I know we have talked before, but this could be one of our last conversations like this. Well, this isn't technically a conversation. In order to classify this as a conversation you would have to be physically present outside of Jane and respond to me. So this is more of a monologue on my part, but metaphorically this is a conversation. Anyway…I just want you to know that I love you. I love you more than I love my own life; you are my child. I did not carry you within my body, but from the very moment of conception, I have loved you and wanted you. I promise to show you every day of your life that you are wanted and loved. Sometimes, I will make mistakes. Sometimes, I fear that I will embarrass you because well…I don't read situations correctly sometimes and I speak out of turn. I may inadvertently cause you hurt feelings or some other emotional issue with my own awkwardness. I apologize in advance. I promise to try my best and to always listen to you. I promise to always be there even when you may not want me around. I'm your mother, and I will never leave you.

"I also promise to love your Mama. We had a case the other day that reminded me how important that is. A wife shot her husband leaving their children alone. She killed her spouse! Her explanation? She didn't love him anymore; he was useless to her. Can you believe that? I promise to always love your Mama. Not just because she is your Mama, but because she is the greatest person I have ever known. I love every part of her. Even the big, fat grouchy parts like the ones we have all had to endure lately. I understand her, and I love her. Period. One day, I might even write an article about love based upon my experiences with your Mama. It would be an interesting study. Perhaps a comparative analysis? The concept of passion and love and chemical interactions along with commitment and social mores?

"Regardless, I just wanted to speak with you for a bit. I wanted to share my thoughts with you and make my promises to you. You are perfect, little one. Whatever you look like, whatever you grow up to be, whoever you grow up to love, or whatever passions you choose to pursue…you are perfect and you are mine." As I rub and speak, my baby gives me a swift kick. Then proceeds to push his or her foot against the home he or she has occupied for 9 months allowing me a complete view. A 'perfect' little foot appearing to try to reach out for me, right where my hand has been rubbing. "Aw, baby." I cannot help the tears that begin to fall. "Maybe we did have a conversation after all…I love you." Another kick.

"Ok, Jane, it's time." I hate chipper doctors! Hate them! Does she not realize I am in pain here! "Maura sit with Jane giving her support for these last few contractions then you may come 'catch' your baby!"

Maura sits with me, holding me. "You can do this, sweetheart. Let's meet our baby." I don't respond except to squeeze her hand. I have retreated within myself to handle the pain. I thought I would be screaming and cussing a blue streak, but now I just want to be quiet. I want to focus and do my job. I want this over with…no. I guess I just really want to meet my child.

So I breathe, and I deal with the pain. I lean on my wife. I listen to her encouragement and words of love. I deal with the chipper doctor between my legs and the noise of the machines around me. I breathe, and I push. I push hard for the 10-count Maura gives me at each contraction.

"OK, ladies. We have some dark hair. Lots of dark hair. Maura?" This was it. M was leaving me to bring our child into the world. She moves from her spot to look at me. I give her a small smile and a nod. She kisses me and smiles a smile unlike any I think I have ever seen from her. Then she is gone.

I continue to get orders, and Maura counts but now she is between my legs. She is speaking to the nurses. "Alright, here comes the head…oh my God, Jane! The head is out…Hi, precious one!"

Dr. McAfee steps in, "Alright, Jane. One more strong push for the shoulders then your baby will officially here and you can rest a bit…" More counting, more pushing, more clamor in the room. Then…

"C'mere baby…aw, I've got you! Hello! Aw, baby…we've been waiting for you!" I can hear Maura's tears and laughter mixing. A loud cry joins the chaos. My baby is crying. My baby. "Let's go meet your Mama! And clean you up a bit shall we?"

Maura takes one step to me placing our child on my stomach. She holds us both of us as she speaks, "Our baby is here, Jane. Our daughter is here…we have a girl. A daughter." She cries freely. Our daughter cries. I cry.

I clean myself up by donning a new set up scrubs after Jane has been made more comfortable. I hold my daughter close to me. Her APGAR scores are excellent; she is perfect. All the dreams I had of this moment come true…they are even better. She seeks Jane instinctively, but she also responds to my voice. She seeks my warmth and love. She loves me.

Once she has eaten at Jane's breast, I decide to take her to meet her family. "Jane, I know the family is waiting for us. You rest, and I'll take her to meet them briefly. OK?"

"Sure, babe. I might close my eyes for a minute." She looks gorgeous. Breathtaking. Her skin is radiant and glowing. Despite her exhaustion she is simply the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Her words break my thoughts, "Oh. I was just thinking how wonderful and beautiful you are. How much I love you." I kiss her temple.

"Yea, yea. You just like me because we make cute babies together."

"Well there is that…" I laugh feeling light and joyous. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"K."

Pushing through the waiting room doors, I hear the excitement erupt.

"Maura! Let me see my grandbaby!"

"Darling…how is Jane?"

"What is it?"

"Mommy, do I have a brother?"

"Everyone! Jane is wonderful. She did an amazing job. She is so strong." Tears return as I speak about my wife. Quickly, I recover. I hold the baby close but turn her so she may be seen, "Joshua. Jackson. Come close please." My sons come to me as I bend down to allow them the first look at their sibling. "Boys this is your sister. Jaime Angelina. Her name means 'I love you' and 'little angel'...she is and we do."

A/N: Hopefully summer will allow a little more time and inspiration! I just love this family and I hope to write more...